现代爱情

有一天 我想赖床
One day, I wanted to stay in bed.
我爸妈就由着我 以为我生病了
My parents let me, presumed I was sick,
因为我实在没法把自己拖下床
as I couldn't physically pull myself out of bed.
21天之后 我还在床上
21 days later, I was still there.
小孩接受新事物总是很快
Children have an amazing way of dealing with new information.
他们不知道自己有时候
They don't know certain things aren't
不应该是那样的
the way they're supposed to be.
所以我想到该如何应付的办法
This is where I figured out the knack for living with this.
我可以用整段紧绷高效的学习时间来弥补
I could make up for it with intense bouts of productivity.
我会突然变成优秀学生
I would become a star student.
所以我凭着优秀的那半年
This is how I could miss 50% of the year--
可以翘半年的课
by being brilliant the other half.
追逐你的梦想
Follow your dreams! Whoo!
在瓦萨学院也一样
Same at Vassar.
在寝室待几个星期不出去
Weeks in my dorm not coming out,
又在图书馆待几个星期补回去
and then weeks in the library making up for it,
考试分数高得要命
getting killer grades.
你有什么毛病
What is wrong with you?
然后搬到了纽约
And then moving to New York.
我在许多公♥司♥的竞争中脱颖而出
I beat out the competition in numerous firms.
可是他们一个个
Until, one by one,
都发现我像法医一样认真对待细节
they all realized my forensic attention to detail,
为个案子就会熬夜搞得昏天黑地
burning off gallons of midnight oil when I'm on a case,
这一切也无法弥补我无尽的矿工
simply wouldn't make up for my disastrous attendance records.
这样的生活里 还要加上数不清的问诊
Over the course of all this was the countless couches--
诊断分♥析♥ 电击治疗
the analysis, the electroshock therapy,
认知行为治疗
the cognitive behavioral therapy,
药物治疗 你想得到的都有
the drug therapy, you name it.
与此同时 我还
Meanwhile, I kept...
在老板 家人 朋友面前
employers, family and friends
用借口把他们都骗过去
blissfully unaware with excuses,
只有我状态超好的时候才见人
only showing up when I was sure to impress.
然后我的生活就这样了
This was how life became.
没有人知道我到底是谁
And no one really knew who I was.
喂 我是莱克丝·多诺霍
Yes. Lexi Donohoe.
没错 对 我
Absolutely, yes. I am...
什么 明天
Uh, uh, by tomorrow?
行 我明天能弄好 没问题
Oh, yeah, I could have it by tomorrow. Okay, no problem.
但是
But...
只要阴云最后都散去
as long as the clouds ultimately passed,
我就能应付
I could deal with it.
说到这个
Uh, speaking of which....
一个美妙的早晨
A perfect morning.
小鸟在我的窗外歌♥唱
Birds tweeting outside my window.
刚修剪过的草散发清香
The smell of fresh-cut grass.
杰夫
Jeff!
杰夫 世界上最好的男人
Jeff, the nicest man in the world.
笑容最可爱的杰夫
Jeff with the loveliest smile
能带给生活无限可能
and all the potential in life
在他身上我看到了希望
and the promise in one, single human being.
早上六点半打给杰夫太早了吗
Was 6:30 in the morning too early to call Jeff?
不 没事的
No, it's fine.
喂
Hello?
-杰夫 -什么事
- Jeff? - Yeah?
我是莱克丝
It's Lexi.
真的吗
Really?
现在太早了吗 不算太早对吧
Is it too early? It isn't too early, is it?
-告诉我不算太早 -做什么太早
- Tell me it's not too early. - Too early for what?
吃早餐 这次你吃什锦麦片
Breakfast. This time, you have the muesli,
我吃牛排
and I'll have the steak.
你全部倒过来了吗
Are you the reverse of everything?
也许真的是
Actually, you know what, maybe I am.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
那天晚上你到底怎么了
What was really up with you the other night?
真的没什么 我就是太累了
Nothing, nothing. I was just tired.
那天工作特别忙 现在都不重要了
I've been crazy busy at work. That doesn't matter now.
今晚见吗 你想一起吃晚餐
Can I see you tonight? Do you want to have dinner?
看电影 还是去酒吧
Go to a movie? Go to a club?
我就是想见你
I don't know, I just want to see you.
糟糕 今晚可能不行
Shit, tonight's kind of tricky.
周二怎么样
How about Tuesday?
周二 周二好像要一辈子以后了
Tuesday? Tuesday's a-a lifetime away.
谁知道我们能不能活到周二
Who even knows if we'll make it to Tuesday?
就是明天 我们还是有可能活到明天的
It's tomorrow. I think we have a good chance.
那个神秘人管命
With you-know-who in power?
不不不 一天内什么都可能发生
No, no, no, anything could happen in 24 hours.
就定... 拜托 今晚为什么不行
Let's just, come on, what's wrong with tonight?
好好 今晚有什么特别的
Okay, okay. What's so special about tonight?
因为我不想再浪费一天不与你相知
'Cause I don't want to waste another day of not knowing you.
说得真好
That's nice.
那就今晚见
So, see you tonight?
来我家 我做饭
My place? I'll cook?
好
Okay.
好 拜
Okay. Bye.
不知道你怎么样 但我这么开心时
I don't know about you, but... when I'm in this kind of mood,
就好像我身处自己电视节目的片头
it's like I'm in the title sequence from my own TV show.
莱克丝秀
莱克丝·多诺霍饰演莱克丝
贾德·赫希饰演出租车司机哈里
你今天怎么样 莱克丝
How are you doing today, Lexi?
贾德·赫希饰演亚历克
开心还是难过
Up or down?
你觉得呢 亚历克
What do you think, Alec?
贾德·赫希饰演马奥尼警官
我得清理这里的躁郁气息
I got to clean the bipolar out of this place.
这是纯粹的喜悦
Here was pure joy.
好莱坞最无瑕闪耀的时刻
Hollywood at its absolute, shameless best.
头发一丝不乱
Every hair in place.
每个举止如画 不出一丝差错
Every move a picture. Not a step wrong.
然后我想起丽塔·海华斯常被引用的那句话
Then I remembered an oft quoted line by Rita Hayworth:
"每个我认识的男人与吉尔达共眠
"Every man I knew went to bed with Gilda
醒来却看到了我"
and woke up with me."
然后我觉得很伤感
And I felt very sad.
拜托
Please.
开心起来 开心
Come on. Come on.
别这样
Come on.
开心起来 开心起来
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
要开心 要开心
Come on, come on. Come on.
又来了
And there it is.
那种寂静
The silence.
又一个男人还没走进大门
The sickening silence of another man walking out
就笼罩我的生活的恶心寂静
of my life before getting past the porch door.
我自己造成的寂静
A silence of my own making.
就像一个嫉妒作祟的疯狂老妈
Like a jealous, crazy mother shooing teenagers
把女儿锁在楼上 把男孩从门前都赶走
from her doorstep with her daughter locked upstairs.
他会留下吗
Would he have stayed?
杰夫
Jeff?
如果他知道
If he had known?
如果我在超♥市♥那次就坦白说
If I came clean that time in the supermarket and said,
"对了 我有躁郁症
"By the way, I'm bipolar.
我在慢慢克服 你愿意吗"
I'm dealing with it. Will you?"
他会被吓跑吗 跑到冷冻食品区
Would he have run for the hills or the frozen food section
礼貌笑着说"好吧"
with an "okeydokey" and a polite smile?
他是一个连蹭烂的桃子都不要的人
Here was a man who didn't want his peaches bruised.
他会怎么对待一个精神病
How would he deal with a damaged psyche?
请你回来 不要回来
Please come back, don't come back.
请你回来 不要回来
Please come back, don't come back.
请你...回来
Please... come back.
然后 躺在那里
And then, lying there,
而一个特别可爱 漂亮的男人
with a perfectly sweet, beautiful man
从我门前离开
walking away from my door...
直觉告诉我不能再这样了
something told me this had to stop.
不是说疾病 它永远好不了