米兰达（2009）

I'm not that bad.
我哪有那么糟
Hong Kong, great! Are you honestly pleased?
香港 好地方啊 你真的高兴么
Of course not, Clive, of course not.
当然不是 Clive 当然不是
That was just terrifyingly good acting.
只是相当极好的表演啊
Well, say something.
说点什么吧
He wants someone to persuade him to stay.
他想有人能劝他留下来
He keeps wavering. You persuade him.
他一直很犹豫 你劝他啊
It won't mean the same from me. Tell him how you feel.
我说的话意义就不同了 告诉他你的想法
No, I can't do that. You do it. I can't do it.
不行 我说不出口 你说 我不行
You do it. You do it.
你说 你说
You do it. You do it.
你说 你说
You do it. You do it.
你说 你说
You do it. You do it.
你说 你说
Really, and then the horse just galloped off?
真的 然后那马就摔倒了么
That's funny. What?
太搞笑了 什么搞笑
Oh, hi, Gary.
Gary
Sorry, we were just talking about a horse.
不好意思 我们刚刚在说一匹马
Funny story. Yeah.
很搞笑的故事 是啊
Oh, yeah?
是么
Oh, you tell it Clive. No, you tell it.
Clive给他讲讲 你讲吧
No, you're a better story teller.
不行 你比我会讲故事
Oh, come on. Don't put yourself down.
快点 不要你小看你自己
We talked about this. Tell him!
我们都讨论过了 跟他讲
Well, there's this horse...
有匹马
.. and it galloped off.
它奔驰倒了
Miranda has something to tell you about your trip.
Miranda有些关于你离开的事要说
Well, it's, um... we were just...
是 我们刚刚
I've got this silly competition on with Stevie at the moment
我和Stevie又开始了奇葩的比赛
and need a favour before you go.
你走之前需要你的帮助
Fancy a self-defence class tonight?
今晚想不想去自卫课
Yeah, look. He had a card for this class in his wallet.
他钱包里有一张这门课的卡
He may not even come but if he tips up,
他可能不会来 但是只要他出现
I'll strike up a conversation, say he dropped his wallet.
我会立刻和他搭话 告诉他丢了钱包
Seems a bit stalkery.
听着有点跟踪他的意思
It's not stalking because I'm not interested,
没有跟踪因为我对他没兴趣
I just want to beat Stevie. Right.
我只是想打败Steive 好吧
OK, folks, let's gather.
同学们 集♥合♥了
You're saved. He's not here. Let's go... Stevie?
不麻烦你了 他没来 我们走 Stevie
Oh, hello? Gary made me come.
你怎么来了 Gary让我陪他来
Yes, I... I did.
对 我让她来的
I have been really scared walking home at night,
晚上独自回家真的好怕怕
and wanted to do self-defence
得学学自卫
but didn't want to come on my own...
但是就是不想自己来
because I'd be really scared to... do it
因为我也很怕来上课
That's pathetic.
太可悲了
You? Oh, I've always been into selfdefence.
你呢 我一直喜欢自卫
Been to loads of classes. Oh, really?
去上过好多课 真的么
Yeah. Yeah. Do you? So we should...
真的 没发现啊 我们应该
Sure, great, yeah.
好啊 没问题
That's worked out fine.
就这样不错
Right, tonight, self defence against a head lock.
今晚 如何应对锁头
A volunteer?
谁支援配合
You.
你
Come toward me and go for a right-arm head lock.
朝我走过来 来个右胳膊锁喉
Yo, give me the crack or I'll blow your face in.
你 快把可♥卡♥因♥给我 要不我就爆头
Sorry, I was just role playing.
不好意思 我只是想角色扮演
Come toward me normally. Normally.
正常地走向我 正常的
Put me in a head lock. Sure.
给我个锁头 好
I don't like it!
我不喜欢这个
Into pairs, please. Who wants to go with this?
两个一组 谁想和她一组
Popular. No, I think it's that you're perfect to practise on.
多受欢迎啊 不是 是因为拿你练手很好
You're more of a mugger than a muggee.
你比男强盗还男人
If they can defeat you, they can defeat anything!
如果他们能打败你 他们就能战胜一切
Yeah?
是吧
Yeah! Right, everyone can have a go.
是 好 都上吧
Oh, hi, Mum.
你好啊 妈妈
Tilly's mother has just told me
Tilly的妈妈告诉我
you are going to Henley Regatta?
你要去亨利镇赛舟会
Tell no-one you're my daughter.
不要告诉任何人你是我女儿
You haven't been blessed by the goddess of socialising.
你一直没有收到社交女神的眷顾啊
There isn't a goddess of socialising.
社交女神根本不存在
Then how do you explain Nigella Lawson?
那你怎么解释Nigella Lawson
Now, I'm here to do "Mummy's social training".
我来是给你上"妈妈社交训练"
Oh, no, Mum. It's fine, honestly.
不是吧 亲妈 算了吧 真心的
I'm just going to be myself.
我还是做自己吧
Are you insane?!
你疯了么
I can cope in these situations.
我能对付这种情况
And that is why we must tackle the Chinese human rights record.
这就是我们要死抓中国人♥权♥的原因
What do you think?
你怎么看
I think, if my thighs are sweaty and I stand up,
我觉得要是我的大腿出汗的时候站起来
it sounds like I've done a fart.
那听上去像是在放屁
Right, first off.
首先
you will limit conversation to the fall in house prices,
你要把对话内容局限在房♥价下降方面
the problems of finding reliable workmen and gardening.
还有可靠的工人和园林工人不易找
If anyone starts to share an emotion,
要是有人想插嘴谈感情
quickly interrupt them.
立刻打断他们
"My Californian Poppy's coming on really well this year,
"我加利福尼亚的罂粟今年长得非常好
despite the chalky soil."
就算是白垩质土壤"
If in doubt, do the posh mumble.
要是有疑问 就用时髦口音含糊说
Oh, I just thought people
我只是觉得人们都
were so posh I couldn't understand them.
太时髦了我听不懂他们说什么
Now, the laugh. Top tip.
再就是笑声 最佳建议
Base the laugh on the song Barbie Girl by Aqua.
笑声遵照Aqua的
**I'm a Barbie Girl*
*我是芭比女孩
How do you know that song?
你怎么知道这首歌♥的
Your father has a penchant for musical contraceptives.
你♥爸♥有个嗜好是收集音乐避孕器具
And while we're on that subject, men
既然说到这个话题 男人
very important to know your way around the bedroom.
熟悉闺房♥业务很重要
In case of a power cut?
以防停电么
Remember, they want a mother in the kitchen
记好了 他们要淑女在厨房♥
and a hooker in the boudoir.
浪♥女♥在闺房♥
Ooh, this is now in uncomfortable territory,
这涉及范围越来越不舒服了
and what I call unacceptable.
就是我所谓的无法接受
As you say, one doesn't like to share an emotion,
正如你说的 有些人不喜欢流露感情
so my hydrangeas are looking good, aren't they?
所以我的八仙花养得很好 是吧
Not that I was as lucky with my workmen.
而且我很幸运的找到好的工人
Chicory scone?
来点菊苣烤饼不
What fun.
真欢乐
Where is Stevie?
Stevie去哪了
Oh, sorry I'm late, I had to go to the shops
对不起 我来晚了 我得去商店
to get some cleansing wipes
买♥♥点湿巾
and some kitchen roll... Bed!
还有厨房♥纸 上♥床♥
Anything else?
还有什么
Oh, yes, and a Great Dane.
对 还有一条大丹狗
"Oh, yes, and a Great Dane" Is
"对 还有大丹狗"就是
the explanation you're giving?
你给的解释么
Oh, wallet guy had a dog.
对 钱包男有条狗
Have you got that dog to impress?
你买♥♥狗就是求关注是吧
If I want a dog, it's my own business.
要是我想养狗 那是我自己的事
Well, it's lucky you got a small one,
算你幸运找到只小的
so you could keep it to yourself.
你能自己养着
Put a saddle on that you could ride it.
你给这条装个鞍子你就能骑了
And all because of some guy you hardly know.
就是因为一个你一点都不了解的男人
You have taken this competition to a new level, my friend.
我们的战争升级了
Excuse me.
打扰一下
Wallet guy!
钱包男
Quick question.
问一下
I didn't leave my wallet here yesterday, did I?
昨天我是不是把钱包落下了
I believe you did.
是的
Ah, that's such a relief. Thank you.
终于能松口气了 谢谢你