米兰达（2009）

It's the name of a floating brothel.
那是一个流动妓院的名字
To cut a bloody funny story short,
好故事长话短说
I went in, with a few needs...
我走进去 有点小需求
Ooh, ooh, could it be shorter?
还能再短点不
There was this girl, we were in a cubicle...
有个女孩 我们在小卧室
Really short. Like you.
很短的 跟你一样的
The boat sank. There we go.
船沉了 就是这种
You know, I was sceptical,
我本来有点怀疑
but blimey, Tilly got this right, what?
但是神啊 Tilly找对人了 知道么
Because she knows I fancy women
因为她知道我喜欢
I wouldn't necessarily beat in a fight.
我打不赢的女人
Oh, where's the little fellow gone?
那小伙子去哪了
what can I get you?
您需要点什么
Booze. That should do it, eh?
酒 这个就可以
Whatever you recommend. OK.
你推荐的就行 好
Booze!
痛饮
I bloody love crisps, don't you?
我相当喜欢薯片啊 你呢
Help!
救命
Who is that?
这是什么东西
Right, here's some wine. Thank you, Clive.
红酒来了 谢谢你 Clive
Clive, I was wondering if I could have some more sauce?
Clive 你可不可以多给我来点酱料
You haven't ordered yet.
你还没有点餐呢
Clive, I just have a feeling I might need some more sauce.
Clive 我有感觉我需要多点酱料
I just think you might need some menus!
我只是觉得你需要菜单
Don't you often wonder
你有没有想过
if food could talk what it would sound like?
要是食物能说话那声音会是什么样的
Hi, I'm an olive!
你好 我是橄榄
It's a bloody funny game.
太有意思的游戏了
Gorgeous! Get off!
真美 死开
Clive. Clive.
Clive Clive
Gary, Gary, how's the kitchen?
Gary Gary 厨房♥怎么样
It's not on fire, is it?
没有着火吧
no, no, the kitchen's fine. Why?
没有 没有 厨房♥挺好的 怎么了
No reason, you bastard. No reason at all.
没事 你个王八蛋 没有理由
Listen, I know we've not even eaten yet,
虽然我们还没有吃东西
but I'm feeling chemistry.
但是我感受到了化学反应
Would you be on for coming back to mine
你愿不愿意和我回去
for a bit of pumpy de rumpy?!
我们狠狠来一发
Silly me! I appear to have spilt my drink.
我真笨 洒了一身酒
Excuse me for one second, please.
不好意思我离开一下
I'm going to kill you both. Come here. Come.
我要赏你俩一丈红 过来 过来
Morning. Oh, dear, pyjamas in the work place?
早上好 神啊 在工作场所穿睡衣么
It was really bad. I'm still in shock.
太糟了 我还心有余悸啊
Tilly's already told Mum I'm not interested in Charlie,
Tilly已经告诉我妈我不喜欢Charlie了
so the party is back on and she's setting me up again.
所以派对继续她还要给我找对象
You do know you might have to go, don't you? I know.
你知道你一定要去的 是吧 我知道
I mean the only way of not being set up
我是说唯一能逃脱相亲的
is if you were already engaged
就是你已经订婚了
and, well, I mean this in the nicest,
这是最好的
most well-meaning way possible,
出于善心的方法
but that is not going to happen in 24 years,
但是在接下来的24年不会发生的
is it? Let alone 24 hours.
更不要说24小时了
I'm not that bad.
我没有那么糟
Hi Oh, hi, When I'm naked in bed and
你好 你好啊 当我裸体躺在床上
I roll over, my breasts clap.
翻身的时候 我的胸器会鼓掌
Hi, I never got anything for my niece's party.
你们好 我还没有为我侄女的派对买♥♥到东西
Do you think this is a good time?
你觉得现在是恰当的时间么
There never seems to be a good time.
这永远没有恰当的时候
Oh, can you ask Miranda for her hand in marriage? What?!
你能向Miranda求婚么 啥玩儿
If you pretend you're together, problem solved.
如果你俩假装在一起了 问题就解决了
Oh, that's good.
这个好
Hi! When I'm naked in bed and roll over,
你好 当我赤身在床翻身的时候
my breasts... No, not helping.
我的胸器 闭嘴 帮倒忙了
I only came in for indoor fireworks.
我只是来买♥♥室内烟花的
I know it's weird, customer.
我知道这很不可思议 顾客
I'm calling you that as it would be odder
我这样叫你是因为要是我现在
if I found out your real name now.
知道你的真名就更奇怪了
But if you don't pretend to marry me,
但是如果你不假装娶我
i might become Miranda de Tory,
我可能会变成Miranda de Tory
this is my husband Ed-Mund. OK?
这是我丈夫Ed-Mund 好吧
Imagine this is what you'd wake up to every morning.
想象一下这是每早起床看到的景象
Again, not helping. Very rude.
再说一次 帮倒忙了 大胆放肆
Who wouldn't want some of this, eh?
谁不想来点这个 是吧
This of a morning? Do you like it?
早上美景 你喜欢不
Little sheep.
小羊羊
I can't. For a start, I'm already married.
我不行 首先 我已经结婚了
Oh, well, just end it. Is that too much to ask?
那就离呗 我要的是不是有点多
To a man. I'm gay.
和男的 我是同性恋
Oh, really?
真的假的
Oh, right. You don't believe me? Well, Mum would.
好吧 你不相信我 我妈才会
She thinks anyone still single on the verge of 40 is a lesbian.
她觉得临近40的单身女人都是同性恋
Oh, hello. Hello.
有了 对啊
That's good. That's very good.
太棒了 真是极好的
If you come out, there's a chance
你要是出柜 你妈有可能
your mother will never talk to you again.
一辈子不会理你
This plan has no downside.
这个计划完美无缺啊
**I'm coming out*
*我要出柜了
**I want the world to know*
*我想告诉世界
**Got to let it show*
*让他释放吧
**I'm coming out*
*我要出柜
**I want the world to know*
*我想告诉世界
Uh, customer. Just us.
顾客 只有我俩
Sorry. Always just us.
不好意思 永远只是我俩
Mum. Listen, I've got something to tell you.
妈 听好了 我有事情要告诉你
Put your pen down.
放下笔
You don't need to arrange the party or set me up because,
我不用筹备派对也不用帮我相亲了 因为
well, I am glad you are sitting down.
还好你是坐着的
Because the thing is...
因为事情是这样的
.. I'm gay.
我是同性恋
I knew it.
我就知道
Gary, you owe me 50 quid.
Gary 你欠我50镑
Oh, darling,
亲爱的
I am, what I call, thrilled.
我真是 我所谓的 太激动了
This is fantastic news.
天大的好消息啊
What? I always had my suspicions and kept hoping.
啥玩意儿 我一直怀疑还希望你是
You bat for the other side and
你一直在直女这边徘徊
all this time I didn't think you batted for anyone.
我从没觉得你看上哪个男的
But who knew your wicket was
谁知道你的球门儿
being thoroughly knocked by a bowler with no balls?
被没有球的投球手敲开了
And I understand the lure. We've all been the way of the Lily.
我理解那些魅惑 我们都经历过百合
What? Belinda and I had a fun time at school.
啥 Belinda和我上学的时候一起春宵美景过
Sorry, eh, Gary, sorry, party's off.
抱歉 Gary 派对不办了
What?! Miranda's a lesbian.
啥 Miranda是同性恋
Well, why don't we make it a coming out party?
那为啥不办个出柜派对
That's a splendid idea.
这个主意好
Help!
救命
Help!
救命
Gary. You...
Gary 你
Sorry, I didn't think she'd say yes.
抱歉 没想到她会愿意
Just because you want the business.
就是因为你想挣钱
You are something that I'm too nice to say.
我人太好不想爆粗口
Party's on, party's off.
开派对 不开派对
It's almost like I'm in some kind of farce.
就好像是场闹剧
Listen, Mum,
听好了 妈妈
I'm not ready for a coming out pa...
我还没准备好开出柜派对
Darling, it's 2009, deal with it.
亲爱的 现在是2009了 交枪投降吧
I've already got the dress theme -
我已经想到了着装主题
simply "Famous lesbians throughout history".
很简单 "历史上著名的蕾丝边"
That's a room full of people
那就是一屋子
dressed as either K.D. Lang or Sandi Toksvig.
要么打扮成K.D. Lang或者Sandi Toksvig的人啊