开玩笑

Kidding S02E06

Part 2 June 1, 2020, 3:53 p.m.

如果你是在邀请我参加小型犬环场竞赛的话
If that's an invite to trot the circuit,
咱们就英雄所见略同了
I feel a team forming.
我支持猴绠
I support it.
还有第二个问题
Hey, hey, second question,
虽然没啥关系但也很重要
unrelated, equally important,
也可能没那么重要
if not more so.
我打算这周周末带吉尔和威尔去好时乐园
Uh, I'm taking Jill and Will to Hersheypark this weekend.
因为我想向吉尔求婚
'Cause I want to propose to Jill.
你有何感想
What do you think about that?
我觉得
I think...
威尔也会见证你的求婚吗
Does, uh, Will have to be there to witness it?
个人来说
I mean,
我希望他能在现场
I'd like him to be.
当然了
Oh, sure.
这个拥抱中富含各种情感
This hug is complicated
但是
but...
- 是真诚的拥抱 - 多谢了兄弟
- genuine. - Thank you, man.
嘿我超爱你唱的离婚之歌♥
Hey, I loved the divorce episode.
谢了
Thanks.
我觉得就是那首歌♥害死了菲律宾腌黄瓜先生
I think it's what killed the Filipino guy.
毕竟并非所有人都会认同
Mm. Can't win 'em all.
肝脏兄弟之情地久天长啊
Liver brothers forever!
这周末去好时乐园是吧
Hersheypark this weekend, huh?
我得去取我的护照
I need to get my passport.
嘿你和彼得
Hey, are you and Peter
打算投资一只表演犬吗
investing in a show hound?
他是整个心都扑在那只猴绠身上了
He has his heart set on an affenpinscher.
但是他不知道的是
But little does he know
我看好一只
that I have my hand on the tail
名叫文德巴的马毛雪纳瑞犬
of a horse-haired schnauzer named Wunderbar.
又大又厚的络腮胡须
Big, thick whiskers
你甚至可以用它的阴囊给你的手表上发条
and a scrotum you could wind your watch to.
知道吗你有一种天赋
You have a gift, you know?
之前你差点要了他的命
You tried to manslaughter him,
现在你还打算跟他一起对半投资一只雪纳瑞
and now you're going halfsies on a schnauzer.
说实话
I mean, to be fair,
我们还没商定好配种的事
we haven't committed totally to a breed.
彼得是个好人
Great guy, Peter.
我喜欢他
I like him.
享受巧克力乐园之旅吧
Enjoy the chocolate park.
还不知道我能不能去
I don't know if I can go.
我周天有值班
I'm supposed to work a Sunday shift.
不不不
Oh, no, no, no.
你该请个假休息休息
You should take the time off.
度假这种事情没人会后悔的
No one ever regrets a vacation.
护照在壁橱里
Passports are in that thing in the closet.
等下要不这样吧
Wait, you know what?
我去拿吧
I'll just grab 'em.
壁橱里一团糟
The-the closet's a mess.
- 找到了吗 - 当然
- Everything okay? - Yep!
在这呢
They are right here.
你不打算问我要去哪吗
Not gonna ask me where I'm going?
吉尔看到我站在梯子上了吗
Jill, can you spot me on the ladder?
希望是能让你放松的地方
Hopefully somewhere relaxing.
对不起
Sorry.
我爸妈吵架的时候
When my parents are upset,
他们只说塔加拉语
they only speak Tagalog.
他们吵什么呢
What were they yelling about?
好像是你♥爸♥爸杀了个人什么的
I guess your dad killed a guy?
啥
Hmm?
威尔帮我赢点彩虹堂
Ooh, Will! Win me some Skitties!
是啊威尔帮她赢点彩虹堂吧
Yeah, Will, win her some Skitties.
不反正我不需要
No, I'm okay.
不想要这玩意儿
I don't want this.
而且是彩虹糖不是彩红糖
They're Skittles, not Skitties.
我的锅
My sorrys.
你的什么
Your what?
如果你猜那个平子里有多少糖
If you guess how many are in the "vahse"...
- 是瓶字（此处也读错了） - 我们可以把这些彩虹堂都赢走
- "Vayse." - ...we get all the Skitties.
你为什么想要这些
Why do you want these?
呃
Hmm.
我想
I'm gonna say...
如果一个彩虹糖的体积是一立方厘米
if one Skittie occupies a full cubic centimeter
那么这个糖罐子的容积就是
and the volume of your Skittie container
π乘以半径乘以高度
equals pi times the radius times the height...
6765立方厘米
6,765.
6765个彩虹糖
6,765 Skittles.
记下来就好
Just write that down.
好好玩哈
Enjoy.
尝尝他妈的彩虹糖
Taste the motherfucking rainbow.
等等
Wait.
那个数字你确定吗
Are you sure that's the number?
去你♥妈♥的♥ 威尔
Fuck you, Will.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 卡西迪
Fuck you, Cassidy.
我觉得我有魔法
I think I'm magic.
继续说
Go on.
你们还记得我从图书馆借的那本旧书吗
So you know that old library book I got
讲数学神秘主义与宇宙的那本
on math and mysticism and the universe?
我看到我妈把离婚协议书给我爸的时候
Well, when I saw my mom hand my dad the divorce papers,
我我看到这本书讲述如何让时间倒流
I, uh-I read about how to turn back time
这样他们就能和好如初
so they'd get back together.
你们是在嗑药吗
Uh, are you guys drinking drugs?
我们在喝特别“得劲”的下午茶
We're having high tea.
女王万岁
Long live the queen.
我真觉得这很有用
I think what I did is really working.
这只是你单方面的努力
This is a beautiful effort on your part,
但你♥爸♥可是在全国电视台上离婚了
but your dad got divorced on national TV.
没关系啊
That doesn't matter.
严格来说我爸妈现在还是单身
My parents are still technically single.
我知道不好接受但
I know it's hard to accept, bud, but...
10946.
这是那个孩子家的位置编码那个拿了菲尔眼珠的孩子
That was the address of the kid who had Phil's eyes.
6765 这是罐子里能放下的彩虹糖的数量
6,765 was the number of Skittles in the vase.
这不可能是巧合
This can't just be a coincidence.
这是冥冥之中在告诉我们什么
This is the universe talking.
不就是巧合
No, this is coincidence.
另外这些日期在时间上是向前推进
Plus, those dates are going forward in time,
而非倒流
not backwards.
如果你在寻找上帝给你的启示
If you're looking for a sign from God,
那这些数字
those numbers would need to indicate
需要表示出反向的时间动量
reverse temporal momentum.
我不觉得
I disagree.
看数字就是在变小
See, the numbers do go down
只要你们不把它们当做日期而是把它们当做数字
when you treat them as numbers, not dates.
我相信威尔能让时光倒流
I'm confident Will is turning back time.
行继续说
Please, explain more.
伙计们这些数字
These numbers, fellow dudes,
是斐波那契数列
are a Fibonacci sequence.
那是个啥
What's that?
斐波那契数是自然界中的魔幻数字
Fibonacci numbers are the magic numbers in nature
它决定着从花瓣到老虎条纹
that determine the order of everything,
所有事物的顺序
from flower petals to stripes on a tiger.
他们就是上帝的数字
They're God's numbers.
而且确实是在倒数
And they're counting backwards.
你请求上帝让时间倒流
I mean, you asked God to turn back time.
这就是倒流
This is the countdown.
你成功黑进空间和时间顺序系统
You hacked space and time.
妈呀
Whoa.
威尔
Uh, Will?
你♥爸♥爸来接你了
Your dad is here to pick you up.
行得通