老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S01E09

Part 1 July 12, 2020, 2:01 p.m.

你来啦
There you are.
很抱歉我迟到了我去看牙医了
I'm sorry I'm late. I was at the dentist
可他迟到了因为他第一次尝试特浓咖啡
and he was late because he tried espresso for the first time
结果拉得昏天黑地真的不是我
and he had a bathroom disaster. Not me.
别说了
Please, stop.
我只是迫不及待想
I'm just really anxious
听你带来的黑客重磅新闻
to get my hands on your hacking story.
-怎么样了 -很好
- How's it coming? - Great.
我查到证据证明
So I have proof
"饼干闪电战"不仅是一款游戏
that Biscuit Blitz is not just a game.
还是数据挖掘应用
It's a data-mining app
它从人们的手♥机♥里偷走大量的信息
that's stealing information from people's phones.
太劲爆了
This is so exciting.
今晚能播出吗
Are you ready to run it tonight?
这么大的料可不能被其他台挖走
'Cause the last thing we want is to get scooped.
不我还需要时间我还没查清楚
No, I-I need more time. I haven't even figured out
谁是这家公♥司♥的老板但是...
who owns the company yet, but...
答案就在我其中一个箱子里
the answer is in one of my boxes.
什么箱子
What boxes?
-我的神啊 -没想到吧
- Good Lord. - I know.
这些是"饼干闪电战"公♥司♥的财务记录
These are Biscuit Blitz's financial records.
全是些复杂难懂的商业胡扯
It's all a bunch of complicated business gibberish.
我希望你能AQAP做完
Well, I need you to get this done AQAP.
-你说啥 -英国版的"ASAP"[尽快]
- Hmm? - That's British for "as quickly as presentable."
风险比你想的要高
The stakes are higher than you know.
我奶奶要来了
My Gram is coming.
等等你奶奶谁在乎啊
Wait, your grandma? Who cares?
不你不懂
No, you don't understand.
她可不是普通的欧巴桑
She's not your ordinary gram.
她很高冷
She's very cold
我和她关系不是很亲密
and we have a tenuous relationship
我很想让她对我刮目相看...
and I really need to impress her...
况且她是电视台的老板待会见
and she owns the network. Anyway, see you.
站住是什么的老板
Hold up! Owns the what-work?
老妈闯入电视台
第一季第九集
你这人可真鸡贼
You are such a secretive creep.
这是家庭隐私凯蒂
It is a private family situation, Katie.
我也不知道你家里的事啊
I don't know everything about your family.
好吧我还真知道但那是因为凯柔的博客
Well, I do, but that's only 'cause of Carol's blog.
"我叫凯柔·文德尔森欢迎来我的博客"
"I am Carol Wendelson This Is My Blog Welcome to My Blog Hello."
怎么从来没听你提过呢
How could you have never mentioned this?
这没那么诡异凯蒂
It's not that weird, Katie.
太诡异了
That is so weird.
这是我听过最诡异的事情
It's the weirdest thing I've ever heard,
我还有"信不信由你博物馆"的季票呢
and I'm a season-ticket holder at Ripley's Believe It or Not.
50次参观以后就回本了
Pays for itself after 50 visits.
等一下所以你奶奶是我们的
Wait a minute. So your grandmother is
老板的老板的老板的老板
our boss's boss's boss's boss?
的老板...
'S boss...
的老板的老板
'S boss's boss's boss.
我奶奶也拥有一个网络
My grandma owns a network.
-放屁 -说瞎话呢
- Like hell. - Aw, come on.
地下鼹鼠人的网络是真的
Of underground mole people. Yes, she does.
珀尔莎你知道格雷格奶奶是MMN老板吗
Portia, did you know that Greg's grandmother owns MMN?
等下你奶奶是梅尔德·马洛克
Hold up. Your gram is Mildred Marlock?
她可是生意场上的强势婊
She's a serious business bitch.
美国ABC电视台发明真人秀节目
她是英国版的《创智赢家》的评审
She's on the British version of "Shark Tank."
你们懂的《英国大亨》
You know. "Pond Scum."
大亨们好你们怎么看
'Ello, Scums. What would you say
能让啤酒保温的
to a revolutionary invention
革命性发明呢
that keeps your beer warm?
投资这样的创意
Investing in an idea like that
肯定会让我名利双收
is gonna make me rich and famous.
-我投资 -毋庸置疑
- I'm in. - Indubitably!
你可以选他们其中一个脑残的傻蛋
You could go with one of these balmy wankers,
或者选一位让烟囱清洁机器人遍及
or you could go with the Scum who put a chimney roomba
每个家庭城♥堡♥ 公♥寓♥的大亨
in every home, castle, and flat.
我选她
I'll go with her.
你们今天都会见到奶奶
Well, you'll all get to meet Gram today.
我真的很想向她证明我把这地方
I really wanna show her that I've been doing a good job
运营得很好
of running this place.
谁有版块提议
So who has segment pitches?
新泽西州一所大学发生了炸♥弹♥恐袭事件
There's a bomb threat at a college in New Jersey.
什么哪一所
Wait, which one?
乔纳森邦·乔维社区学院
Jonathan Bon Jovi Community College.
我的天那是我妈妈的学校
Oh, my God. That's where my mom goes.
她现在正在那里上新闻课
She's in her journalism class right now.
打扰了警官警官
Excuse me. Sir, sir, sir!
请问你见过这位女士吗
Hi, have you seen this woman?
-没有 -她每年生日都让我去西尔斯百货给她拍照
-No. -She makes me take them at Sear's every year for her birthday.
这是她的生日照
It's her birthday.
-宝贝 -妈我的天
- Hello? - Mom, oh, my God!
我给你打了无数通电♥话♥ 你没事吧
I've called you, like, a million times. Are you okay?
当然了我能有什么事
Of course. Why wouldn't I be?
我在你学校里你在这吗
Wh--I'm at your school. Are you here?
我当然在学校里
Of course I'm at school.
安琪假装你在学校
Angie, make it sound like you're at school.
垃圾学校嗑药最棒
School sucks. Drugs rule!
大伙儿快看万人迷来了
Hey, everybody, look. Here comes Fonzie.
天
Oh, boy.
得了10分
Ten credits.
你是不是在大西洋赌城
Are you in Atlantic City?
他们刚刚上新了一种老虎机
The new "The View" slot machine just came out.
我玩游戏赢了50个子儿
I won 50 bucks on a Whoopi, Whoopi, Whoopi.
你翘课已经有多久了
How long have you been skipping school?
你多管闲事有多久了
How long have you been a narc?
-妈 -好吧
- Mom. - Okay, fine.
就只有一次
It's just the one time
我没缺勤
that I attended.
你的实习是占学分的
You have an internship for college credit.
如果你不去学校就没办法工作
You cannot work here if you don't go to school.
瞧你说的我可是MMM的女神[口胡]
Oh, please, I'm like a God at MMMM.
谁会开除我
Who's gonna fire me?
真奇怪风变了
That's weird. The wind is shifting.
突然袭来一阵阴风
It suddenly got cold in here.
奶奶
Gram.
你好
Hello.
你似乎有些焦虑
You seem on edge.
你是在吃我卖♥♥的减肥药吗
Are you taking those diet pills I sell?
别吃我把它们更名为老鼠药了
Don't. I'm rebranding them as rat poison.
不是我妈妈
No, it's my mom.
我本来应该抓紧监制我的报道
I wasted all day thinking she was dead
却浪费了一整天的时间担心她的死活
when I was supposed to be working on my story.
我错过了和黑客"牡蛎"的会议
I missed a meeting with this hacker, The Oyster.
他曾经是"饼干闪电战"的低级工程师
He used to be a low-level engineer at Biscuit Blitz.
"牡蛎"
The Oyster?
这名字真蠢
What a stupid name.
"泡菜"DJ 别来无恙啊
DJ Pickle at Da Club. What up?
有人见到我妈妈了吗
Hey, has anyone seen my mom?
没有我活了28年都没见过我妈呢
No, and I haven't seen my mom in 28 years.
谢谢你的提醒
So thanks for reminding me.
妈你这是在躲我吗
Mom, are you hiding from me?
你居然
I cannot believe
没去学校上过课
that you haven't been going to school.
如果有人发现我们的无薪实习生不是学生
If it gets out that our unpaid intern isn't a student,
我们会被起诉的知道吗
we could get sued, okay?
格雷格会因奴役罪坐牢的
Greg could go to jail for slavery.
这很像格雷格会干的事
Now that sounds like a Greg problem.
你这么努力地工作
You have been working so hard.
为什么愿意冒着风险