老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S01E04

Part 1 July 12, 2020, 2:01 p.m.

地下扑克场已经搬走了
凯蒂我是特里普
No. Katie? It's Trip.
特里普我以为你还在叙利亚呢
Trip? I thought you were in Syria.
马上给你开门
I'm gonna buzz you in.
抱歉吵醒你了
Sorry I woke you up.
戴夫是谁
Who's "Dave"?
我老爸
It's my dad.
这衣服我妈穿起来太大了所以...
This was too big for my mom, so I--
其实不是的我是在戴夫巴斯特餐厅赢回来的
No, I mean, I won it at Dave & Buster's.
你好真高兴你回来了
Hi, I'm so happy you're here!
-很高兴见到你 -我也是
- So good to see you. - You too.
慢着你回来多久啊
So wait, how long are you in town for?
很遗憾只待几周而已
Sadly, just a couple weeks while I put together
整理一下节目要用的叙利亚视频片段
this long-form Syria piece for the show.
慢着在MMN电视台待几周吗
Wait, a couple weeks at MMN?
-是啊 -天啊
- Yeah. - Oh, my god.
我要告诉你件事
Okay, there's something I need to tell you.
我妈开始在那工作了
My mom works there now.
有问题吗
Is that a problem?
肯定有啊
100% yes.
听着我们之间的进展非常顺利
Listen, things with us are just really great.
我很喜欢你而你经常离开
I like you and you're often out of town
所以我下面可能会有点杂草丛生
so my pube game can be a little devil-may-care.
我也很喜欢你
I like you too.
在你说刚刚那些话之前...
Well, until you said that last thing, but--
我不想让我妈知道咱俩的事
I just--I don't want my mom to find out about us
她会像毁了我其他感情一样
And ruin it like she's ruined literally
毁掉我们之间的感情
every other relationship that I've ever been in.
如果你不想让你妈知道
Hey, if you don't want your mom to know,
就别让她知道啊
she won't know.
我们说的可是凯柔·文德尔森啊
This is Carol Wendelson we're talking about.
她对所有人都无所不知
She knows everything about everyone.
所以读高中时她被别人称为"深喉"
That's why in high school they called her deep throat.
希望这就是原因
Boy, I hope that's why.
老妈闯入电视台
第一季第四集
借过一下早安
Excuse me. Good morning.
那是谁新来的实习生吗
Who's that? Is that a new intern?
我得狠狠地欺负他一下
I'm gonna haze him so bad!
我听说在黑人兄弟会里...
I heard that in some black fraternities--
谁啊他吗他是特伦特
Who, him? No, that's, Trent.
他是个自♥由♥摄影师
I think he's a freelance photographer.
好像是叫特伦特还是特朗克
Trent or Tronk, maybe?
大家早安让我们热烈欢迎
Good morning, everyone, and a big welcome back
特里普·帕克从叙利亚回来
to Trip Parker who's just returned from Syria.
你们好谢谢大家
Well, hello. Thank you.
你打算一直在那边工作是吗
Where he managed to keep working out, didn't he?
天啊
Oh my...
我连健身都不太行呢
I do crossfit junior.
很庆幸我能活着回来
I'm just glad to be back home safe.
上周我被派驻阿勒颇市附近的自卫队
Last week, I was embedded with an SDF unit near Aleppo, and...
天啊真怀念以前在战地的时光啊
God, I miss being in the field!
波斯尼亚伊♥拉♥克♥ 车♥臣♥共和国
Bosnia, Iraq, Chechnya.
还有西村万圣节大游♥行♥
The west village on Halloween.
简直是站在死亡的边缘啊朋友们
You're holding hands with death, my friends,
但你却压根不会想这个
But you don't even think about it,
因为你肩负重责妈的
because there's a job to do, damn it.
查克你怀念战地了吗
Chuck, you miss the field?
去年我们安排你去南苏丹
Last year, we arranged for you to go to South Sudan,
但你说你买♥♥了魔术秀的门票
but you said you had tickets to a magic show.
那些门票不能退啊
Those tickets were nonrefundable.
其实是可以退的
Well, they were refundable,
但要收手续费
but there was a fee!
我好久没说过话了
I haven't talked for so long.
特里普不如你和贾斯汀
Well, Trip, why don't you and Justin
一起去剪辑室过一遍视频吧
go through your footage in the edit bay?
-好 -提醒一下
- Okay. - Quick warning.
开会前我看到了
Just before this meeting, I think I saw
一个胖胖的清洁工跑进去放了个屁
a fat janitor go in there and fart.
是啊我觉得就是这样
Yeah, I think that's what that is.
特里普好帅啊
That Trip is so handsome.
是吗
Is he?
有人今天打扮得很漂亮啊
Somebody dressed up today.
让开
Go. Move it!
玻璃
Glass.
抱歉抱歉
Sorry, sorry.
还有玻璃啊
More glass!
看到了吗库里这就是我们练习的原因
See, Corey? That's why we practice.
她知道了她知道了我妈知道咱俩的事了
She knows. She knows. My mom knows about us.
怎么会
How?
我之前不知道
No, I didn't.
但现在知道了
But now I do.
你偷偷交了个男朋友
You have a secret boyfriend?
特里普这是我妈
Trip, this is my mother.
-很高兴认识你凯柔 -是文德尔森夫人
- Nice to meet you, Carol. - Mrs. Wendelson. Miss--
别啊叫我凯柔吧
No, call me Carol.
反正在你们眼里我也就
Why would you treat me with any more respect
跟条狗差不多吧
than you'd treat a dog?
好吧好吧
Okay. Okay.
好吧我知道你很生气
M'kay, look, I get that you're mad.
为什么我会不知情
How did I not know?
都怪这份工作我都分心了
This job. I'm so distracted.
天啊我还错过了什么
God, what else have I missed?
祝戴夫生日快乐
Happy birthday dear Dave.
祝我生日快乐
Happy birthday to me.
好吧你想知道为什么
Fine. You want to know the reason
我不告诉你特里普的事吗
why I didn't tell you about Trip?
因为我不想你毁掉我们的感情
Because I didn't want you to ruin it.
-毁掉它 -是啊妈妈
- Ruin it? - Yeah, mom.
我只想能有个合你意的男朋友
All I've ever wanted is for you to like one of my boyfriends,
但你从来都不满意因为你
and you never have. You are the reason
我和杰夫伊森凯尔都分手了
I broke up with Jeff, Ethan, Carl.
杰夫是个笨蛋
Jeff was a mouth breather, and Ethan,
而伊森根本不信犹太教
he wouldn't even engage on the whole Judaism thing,
而"凯尔"和"凯柔"发音太像了
and "Carl" is too close to "Carol."
-这样很奇怪啊 -看到了吗
- That'd be weird! - See?
不管我喜欢谁
It doesn't matter if I like a guy,
你都能挑出毛病来搞得我也只能看到他的缺点
you find a problem, and then that's all I can see.
好啊那我就不和你说特里普他...
Well, then fine, I won't tell you that Trip--
闭嘴
Butt out.
我不想你再影响我了
I don't want you in my head.
我觉得咱们可以搬真玻璃了
I think we're almost ready for real glass.
我不知道是谁先说"战争即地狱"的
I don't know who first said, "war is hell,"
但据一位商标法律师的观点不是我说的
but according to a very surly trademark lawyer, it wasn't me.
查克经常读他的回忆录吗
Does Chuck always read from his memoirs?
我觉得他是想在你面前卖♥♥弄一下
I think he's trying to impress you.
热腾腾的东西来啦但不是咖啡
Hot stuff coming through, and I don't mean the coffee,
因为我回了趟家
because I stopped at my house and watched
看完了一整季《芝加哥烈焰》所以都凉了
all of "Chicago Fire," So it's cold.
-给你帅小伙 -谢谢
- Here you go, doll. - Thanks.
说起大人物
Speaking of hot stuff,
"1989年于巴拿马
"1989, Panama.
"我曾被无数次地震撼过
I found myself embedded in more ways than one.
"我说的是性♥爱♥ 宝贝"
I'm talking sex, baby."
巴拿马你跟的是第82空降师吗
Panama? Were you embedded with the 82nd?
我曾跟随第69步兵团出入阿富汗
I was embedded with the 69th in Afghanistan...
-也许... -还纹了这个纹身
- Maybe... - Got this little tattoo
以示纪念
to honor them.
-"永恒69军" -是啊
- "Forever 69"? - Yeah.
酷啊
Cool.
知道吗这是我最怀念的一部分
You know what? That's what I miss the most.
每个兄弟都很照顾我的菊花