老妈撞入电视台（2017）

outside your office, would you?
就是我拿查克当借口推掉疯狂创意太多次了
It's just, I've used Chuck as an excuse so many times.
现在他不在了 组里所有人都开始骚动了
Now he's gone, the entire staff's come to collect.
那就拒绝他们 反正你整天拒绝我
Well, just tell them no. You do it to me all the time.
因为你足够专业 你能接受被拒绝
'Cause you're a professional. You can handle it.
其他人可接受不了
These other people cannot.
等等 你认为我和你势均力敌吗
Wait, so you think of me as your equal?
拜托你别想太多
Oh, please don't make a big deal out of this.
不会 不会
I won't, I won't.
就是我...
It's just that I--
回想起我整个职业生涯 你知道吗
I think about my journey, you know?
然后我又想到外面那些小姑娘
And I think about all the little girls out there--
*这是我的战歌♥*
*This is my fight song*
集中注意力 我跟你说正事呢
Get a hold of yourself! I'm trying to tell you something.
查克总是让我难过得很
Chuck has always made my life hell.
我来第一天他就逼我开除了
On my first day of work he forced me to fire
他年轻帅气的同僚弗莱彻·特兰克
his cool, young co-host, Fletch Trank.
就是每次跳伞去现场采访的那个人吗
Oh, the guy that parachutes into every story?
他其实不用逼他走的
He doesn't have to do that.
从此给查克干活是越来越难过
And working for Chuck has never gotten easier.
一切都那么难 每天都是一场恶战
Everything's hard. Every day is a battle.
什么都给你否掉
Every answer is no.
所以我才不想拒绝这些人
That's why I don't want to say no to these people.
因为我不想变成他们的查克
'Cause I don't want to become their Chuck.
天啊 我总以为你就是一混♥蛋♥
Wow. I always assumed you were just a dick.
想不到内心里你还挺不错的
But you're secretly kind of not.
当然 因为在电影里
Well, yes, because in the movies,
反派总是一口英音
villains always have British accents.
连纳粹都是 凭什么啊
Even the Nazis. How is that fair?
那你知道吗 这只是一♥期♥节目
Well, you know what? It's just one show.
查克周一就回来了
Chuck's gonna be back on Monday
又会否决一切了 对不对
to say no to everything again, right?
而且就这么一次 还能乱到哪去
And it's just one show. How bad could it be?
我们节目一开始先播报曼哈顿西村的
We begin our broadcast with reports of a pipeline explosion
那条管道爆♥炸♥的新闻
in the West Village neighborhood of Manhattan.
我是等报道教皇来访的新闻的时候
Should I do the "Basic Instinct" move
再分腿 还是这条新闻就分
for this story or wait for "Pope Visit"?
摄像一直在成人夜校
The camera guy's been taking an experimental film class
学实验摄影课
down at the Learning Annex,
而我告诉他可以"可劲造"
and I told him he could "go nuts."
那是什么鬼
What the hell is that?
我告诉音效他的口♥技♥组合
I told the sound guy his scatcapella group group could do
可以包下节目的所有配乐
all the music for the show now.
不要啊
Oh, no.
现在由贝丝·维尔克为您介绍天气情况
And now, Beth Vierk with the weather.
谢谢 珀尔莎
Thanks, Portia.
2018年
2018.
事实就是 你们都会死
The reality: you're all dead.
你乐什么呢
What are you smiling for?
我没乐 我下巴又卡住了
I'm not, my lockjaw is back.
我从来没想到我会这么说 但是...
I never thought I'd say this, but...
我们需要查克
we need Chuck.
地♥产♥家族里另外一个兄弟
So now the other Property Brother
想把房♥子卖♥♥掉
is trying to sell the house.
还是就是刚才那个兄弟啊
Or is that the same brother again?
这是什么汤 凯柔 还挺好喝的
What kind of soup is this, Carol? It's pretty good.
想让我这种品汤大♥师♥说好喝可不容易
And it takes a lot to impress a souphead like me.
这是我的秘方
It's my secret recipe.
30年来一直喂给躺在这沙发上的病号♥喝
I've been feeding it to sickies on this couch for over 30 years.
虽然我不会原谅绑♥架♥行为
While I do not condone kidnapping,
但这可比那次被巴勃罗·埃斯科巴
this is better than the time Pablo Escobar
把我从我的宾馆房♥间里绑♥架♥走
took me from my hotel room
关进他的动物园里展览好多了
and made me an exhibit in his zoo.
至少我总算知道了
Well, at least it's good to know
我还是有些长处的
that I'm still good at one thing.
我不知道你有没有发现
I don't know if you've noticed,
但是我这个实习生其实做的不太好
but it turns out I'm not so great at being an intern.
你昨天给我送了一份台本
You brought me a script yesterday.
很明显被是扔进洗衣机里洗过了
It had clearly gone through a washing machine.
"追逐梦想"更适合
"Follow your dreams" is great
绣在枕头上
when it's sewn on a pillow,
但是60岁了还追逐梦想 实在太难了
but doing it at 60, it's hard.
有时候我都在想 我是不是在骗自己
Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm kidding myself
居然跟年轻人干一样的工作
trying to do a young person's job.
我可不这么想
Not me.
他撒谎了
He lied.
凯柔啊 所以我才一天做了两次手术啊
Oh, Carol, that's why I did both surgeries on the same day.
我担心万一我再多耽误点时间
I was afraid that if I took any more time off
我就当不了卢·格里格
I wouldn't be Lou Gehrig.
我就会成沃利·皮普了
I'd be Wally Pipp.
皮克斯的小机器人吗
Oh, the little Pixar robot?
我在迪斯尼乐园见过一次 好没礼貌的
I met him once at Disney World. Very rude.
不 是打垒球的 沃利·皮普就一天没来
No, the baseball player. Wally Pipp missed one day
结果被一个22岁的小子卢·格里格抢了位置
and a 22-year-old kid named Lou Gehrig stepped in.
-沃利再也没能回去打球 -可怜的沃利
- Wally never got his job back. - Oh, poor Wally.
接啊 查克 求你了 快接电♥话♥
Pick up, Chuck. Please, please pick up.
珀尔莎 你确定裙子要这么短吗
Portia, are we sure we wanna go with a skirt that short?
当然不是 这只是彩排穿的
Of course not. This is just for rehearsal.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
正式录像的时候我会穿透明短裤的
When we tape, I'll be wearing clear shorts.
-我是查克 -太好了
- Go for Chuck. - Oh, thank God.
-查克 是我 -埃德娜女爵 真荣幸
- Chuck, Chuck, it's me. - Dame Edna? What an honor.
我是您的忠实粉丝
I'm a huge fan of your work.
不 我是格雷格 当然是格雷格
No, it's Greg. It's obviously Greg.
听着 节目出了大乱子 我们需要你立刻过来
Listen, the show is a disaster. We need you down here right away.
-他们希望我回去上节目 -你看吧
- They want me back at the show. - See!
听到这话也算我意料之中的事
I can't say I'm surprised to hear that
不过呢 格雷格
but, uh, you know what, Greg?
我还在《酷漾》颁奖典礼上
I'm um, I'm still at the Cool and Young Awards.
我正在跟...
I'm hanging out
唯一一个真正懂我的人
with the only person
待在一起
who really understands me.
美国古巴裔说唱歌♥手
皮普保罗
Pitbull.
他不回来 怎么办
He's not coming back. What do we do?
查克 别担心
Hey, Chuck, don't worry about it.
反正电视台也打算让弗莱彻·特兰克补上
The network wants Fletch Trank to fill in anyway.
除非踏过我满载荣誉的身躯 我十分钟就到
Over my award-winning body! I'll be there in ten!
走吧 凯柔 我们要回去工作了
Come on, Carol. We're going back to work.
好了 没事 没事
Okay, all right. It's fine, it's fine.
都是戴夫的东西 这边走
It's just Dave's stuff. Here we are.
我们来看看接下来五天的天气预报
Now let's take a look at our five day forecast.
这就是接下来几天你家附近的天气
And here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.
好了 凯柔 你要记住
All right now, remember Carol,
不能让别人知道我瞎了
nobody can know that I'm blind!
-我知道 你就站在这里 -这里吗
- I know. You, stay right here. - Here?
伙计们
Hey, gang.
太阳镜很酷吧
Cool sunglasses, huh?
我是从《酷漾》杂♥志♥颁奖典礼上直接过来的
I came straight here from the "Cool and Young Magazine" Awards.
我赢了"最酷炫"奖
I won "Most Cool"!
不会吧 查克回来了
Oh, no! Chuck is back!
但愿他没有否决你们精彩绝伦的点子
I hope he doesn't say no to all your amazing ideas.
你觉得今天的节目怎么样
Well, what do you think of today's show?
很不错 什么都别改
Oh, that looks good. Don't change a thing.
-太好了 -什么
- Yes! - What?
布景也没问题吗
E-even the set?
那个呢
What about that?
那是我最喜欢的部分
That's my favorite part.
谢了 查克
Thanks, Chuck.
三 四
Three, four--
我带你去化妆吧
Well let's get you into makeup.