老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S01E05

Part 1 July 12, 2020, 2:01 p.m.

早上好各位周五快乐
Good morning, everyone. Happy Friday!
这会怕是要开到天荒地老
This meeting is taking forever.
没错说重点格雷格
Yeah, get to the point, Greg.
我们不是到这来看你婊演的
We didn't come here to watch your one-man show.
知道了又是漫长的一周
Okay, I get it. It's been a long week.
一个漫长又凛冽的寒冬
A long, dark, snowy winter.
但这不马上就到周末了吗
But it's almost the weekend, isn't it?
没准就雪过天晴了
Maybe it'll be sunny.
我有风筝大家要不要玩
I can take my kite out.
好了谁有版块提议
Okay! Who has segment pitches?
这周末还会下雪
It's gonna snow again this weekend.
闭嘴婊砸
Shut up, bitch!
天呐
Oh, my God!
抱歉这不是你的错
I'm so sorry. That is not your fault.
没错我又不能掌控天气
Yeah. I don't control the weather.
只是时候未到
I mean, not yet.
早上好大伙儿
good morning, everyone!
想不想吃柠檬方饼呀
Who wants lemon squares?
别拿
Don't take one.
柠檬方饼是她下的套
Her lemon squares are always a trap.
那你们之前就该参加昨晚的员工卡拉OK聚会
Then you should have come to staff karaoke last night.
你们谁都没现身
None of you showed up.
下一首可以让我选吗
Can I pick the next song?
没门
No!
你们都去哪了
Where were you guys?
抱歉凯柔我收到你发的邮件邀请
I'm sorry, Carol. When you sent the e-vite,
还以为你是在开玩笑
I thought it was a joke.
我怎么可能衰到和这些人出去瞎混
I mean, because why would I wanna hang out with these people?
一点也不好笑查克
I don't think that's funny, Chuck.
我还以为我们大家是朋友
I thought we were all friends.
我们根本水火不容啊
We can't stand each other!
老妈闯入电视台
第一季第五集
你知道赚这么多钱最难的是什么吗
U know the hardestst part about earning so much money?
在死前不知道自己是否可以把钱花光
Not knowing if you'll be able to spend it all before you die.
老大你找我
Sir, did you wanna see me?
是的我正在写一篇
Oh, yeah. I'm doing a piece on
关于新型抗药超级病菌的报道
a new drug-resistant superbug.
我想让你来监制你最近表现得不错
I want you to produce it. You're doing a good job around here--
你是理想人选
I think you're up to it.
等等真的吗谢谢老大
Wait--for real? Thank you, sir.
我得给我六年级的英语老师打电♥话♥
I have to call my sixth grade English teacher
告诉她当年瞎了眼
and tell her she was wrong about me.
艾菲尔里女士吗
Mrs. Alfieri?
什么她去世了
Oh, she died?
她葬在哪儿了
Where's her grave?
格雷格帅格
Hey, Greg, Greg!
我能跟你说个事吗
Can I talk to you about something?
我不会再吃巧克力条那一套了凯柔
I'm not buying any more of your candy bars, Carol.
我知道这是幌子你也不是篮球队员
I know it's a scam, and you're not on a basketball team.
是关于员工的
It's about the staff.
我想知道为什么大家不是朋友
I wanna know why people aren't friends around here.
-这很不正常啊 -很遗憾
- It's a problem! - Look, I'm sorry
没人去你举办的K歌♥会
no one went to your karaoke party.
这不只是K歌♥会的问题
It's not just about karaoke.
还有大家的态度问题
It's people's bad 'tudes!
这很容易影响工作的你看
It's really affecting the work--look!
《新闻快报》2017职员合照
都没人去拍职员合照
Nobody even showed up for staff photo!
这很不正常格雷格
It's not normal, Greg.
我跟《早间酒报》的实习生聊了聊
I talked to the intern from "Morning Wined Up"
他们的员工经常在一起玩
and their staff hangs out all the time.
你想让我们学《早间酒报》的
You want us to be more like "Morning Wined Up"
凯莉和玛丽凯莉那样吗
with Kelly and Mary-Kelly.
凯莉在网购床上用品
我喜欢这床羽绒被
Okay, now I like this duvet.
放进购物车
Put it in your cart!
放进购物车
Put it in your cart!
如果我的房♥子被银行收回就是你的错
Mary-Kelly, you are the reason the bank took my house.
ISIS恐怖组织主宰全球
我在说啥呢
What am I saying?
我又没有房♥子我也不需要羽绒被
I don't have a house. I don't need a duvet.
我只是想说如果大家能成为朋友
I'm just saying if people were friends around here,
会大大提高工作效率
It would make work better.
同事之间会少些争斗少些抱怨
There'd be less fighting, less complaining,
洗手间里也会少些你的涂鸦
less graffiti about you in the bathroom.
凯柔别吵我
Carol, leave me alone.
我只想赶紧撑到周末
I'm just trying to make it to the weekend.
老大这是提纲
Okay, here's the rundown.
我深入调查了一下超级病菌...
So I did some more research on the superbug, and--
那什么不如节目结束后你到办公室来找我
You know what? Why don't you swing by my office after the show,
-我们到时候再谈 -好的
- and we'll talk about it. - Okay.
咋了是不是笔芯墨水又溅我脸上了
What. Did a pen explode on my face again?
不管了无所谓
You know what? I don't care.
我还是会继续嚼笔芯的
I'm not gonna stop chewing 'em.
你跟查克上♥床♥了
You're sleeping with Chuck.
啥天呐
Oh, my god!
不可能
I would never.
我的身体是神坛
My body is a temple,
意思就是我只接受犹太汉子
and by that I mean I let a lotta jewish guys in.
不过说真的查克让我负责一个版块
But seriously, though, Chuck asked me to produce a piece
是因为他觉得我表现得不错
because, you know, he thinks I'm doing a good job.
他看到了我的优点[从我身体里看到了什么]
He sees something in me.
没错啊就是他自己
Yeah. Himself.
好吧不是我武断
All right... Not to generalize,
但历史证明
but in the history of all time,
男人从不帮助女人...
a man has never helped a woman...
除非别有用心
Not without an ulterior motive.
你在说什么呢
What are you talking about?
男人经常帮助女人
Men have helped women plenty of times.
他们...
They, um...
在...
In...
野兽帮助了贝儿公主[美女与野兽]
Beast helps Belle.
然而他好像也是只野兽
Although, I guess he's a beast,
并且他的确也想和贝儿上♥床♥
And he did wanna have sex with her.
强制集体会议
下午两点
有巧克力条唷
只收现金
凯柔
Carol.
你想搞什么
What do you think you're doing?
像你告诉我的那样团结大伙呀
Getting the gang together like you told me to.
各位带上自己的椅子各回各家吧
Everybody, please collect your chairs.
这是场假会议
This was a fake meeting
是由一个好心的摄魂怪发起的
Called by a well-meaning dementor.
真行滑稽
Great. Ridiculous.
兄弟这是我的椅子你干啥呢
Dude, that's my chair. What're you doing?
是吗你就是想让我拿走你的破椅子是吧
Yeah, right. You're just trying to make me take your broken one.
那椅子又没毛病
There's nothing wrong with that chair.
它又没坏
It ain't broke!
大伙快看啊吉恩弄坏了我的椅子
Hey, everybody, Gene broke my chair!
-抓住他 -没事没事
- Get him! - It's okay, it's okay!
我跟你们买♥♥新椅子
I'll buy everyone new chairs.
我们走皮皮椅
Come on, chair.
你看到我♥操♥心着什么事了吧
Do you see what I'm dealing with here?
这地方就是一个
This place is a tinderbox
一点就燃的火♥药♥桶
waiting for the smallest spark to explode.
我们不需要在一起好好相处
We do not need more time together.
只需要硬着头皮做完节目然后回家
We need to get through the show and go home.
-我... -不准说
- I-- - No! No.
别想拉拢大家的关系了凯柔
Stop trying to make this happen, Carol.
别做了我不准
Stop! No.
你对此无能为力
There's nothing you can do.
无能为力
Nothing.
别假装自己是跛子了