老妈撞入电视台（2017）

Great News S01E06

Part 2 July 12, 2020, 2:01 p.m.

Do you speak any English at all?
-呀 -我们再联♥系♥
- Ja. - We'll be in touch.
真不敢相信你竟然不想做这个凯蒂
I can't believe you don't want to do it, Katie.
我也说不好
Yeah, I don't know.
我只是不想上镜
I just never really wanted to be on camera.
再说了我还有全国步♥枪♥协会的新闻要...
Plus, I have this NRA piece that I think--
已经2017年了
It's 2017.
即使是猥亵犯都想要
The only people that don't want fame
名气和公众关注
and attention are molesters and not even.
乔什·达格和贾瑞德·佛格主持了一台新真人秀
Josh Duggar and Jared Fogle have that new reality show
叫《财产变♥态♥》你真是绝无仅有
"Property Pervs." You're the only one.
-好了准备好就开始吧 -嗨我是戈迪·斯莫驰
- Okay, whenever you're ready. - Hi, I'm Gordy Smurch,
今天我要来为大家报道鼻粘液真恶
And today, I'm reporting on boogers, ew!
谢谢你
Thank you!
你还没有找到人啊
So you haven't found anyone yet, huh?
没可用之才真的不多啊凯蒂
No. The talent pool is thin, Katie.
现在的新节目太多了
There's just too many news shows.
CNN都不得不把十点档让给《妈的丹尼尔》那个人
CNN had to give 10:00 to the "Damn Daniel" guy.
-这个人看起来挺正常 -好了开始吧
- Oh, this guy looks normal. - Okay, go ahead.
你能不带玩偶说吗
Could you do it without the dummy?
你听到他说的了玩偶快闪开
You heard him, dummy. Get lost.
麻烦你去补个空好不好凯蒂
Could you please fill in, Katie?
-给我争取点时间 -我不知道
- Buy me some time. - I don't know.
每次我想做类似这样的事情
Every time I do something like this,
我妈就会投入得过分
my mom just gets way too into it.
有一次我在《狂野女孩》的录像里
This one time, I was in the background
当人肉背景
of a "Girls Gone Wild" video,
没有裸体只是在用一个金属探测器
Not naked, just using a metal detector,
结果她买♥♥了大概一千份光盘
And she bought, like, a thousand copies.
拜托凯蒂为了节目
Please, Katie, for the show.
好吧
Fine.
好吧不过只是临时的
Fine, but just temporarily.
又能重操旧业了宝贝儿
We're back in business, baby!
经典影片20周♥年♥庆♥
凯蒂·文德尔森
什么你怎么会有这件衣服
What? Why do you have that?
我就没脱下来过
I've never taken it off.
来自世界各地的粉丝
Fans from around the global gather
聚集在这家中城酒店
at this midtown hotel to celebrate
庆祝《小猴当家》
the 20th anniversary
发行二十周年
of "Dunston Checks In,"
我向大家强烈推荐
which this reporter urges all of you to check out.
从曼哈顿发回报道我是凯蒂·文德尔森
In Manhattan, I'm Katie Wendelson.
-交还给你查克 -交还给你查克
- Back to you, Chuck. - Back to you, Chuck.
好了大家去吃甜点吧
All right, everyone, go get some dessert,
然后我们再倒带
and then we'll rewind
看第六遍
and watch it for the sixth time.
戴夫把你为退休
Dave, open that wine
留的那瓶红酒给开了
you've been saving for your retirement!
-好的亲爱的 -恭喜
- You got it, dear! - Congratulations.
-谢谢安琪 -既然你现在的工作
- Thanks, Angie. - You know, now that you have
这么酷我可以给你和我侄子安排约会了
such a cool job, I may set you up with my nephew,
把我家所有负鼠都给弄死的那个
The one that killed all those possums under my deck.
-拉尔夫有问起我吗 -没有
- Ralphie asked about me? - Uh, no.
妈为什么那个女的盯着你看
Mom, why is that woman glaring at you?
她呀那是我的死对头朱迪
Oh, her? That's my nemesis, Judy.
她快嫉妒疯了因为你上了电视
She is so jealous because you're on TV.
而她女儿只是个愚蠢的参议员
Her daughter's just a stupid senator.
我太为你骄傲了凯蒂
I am so proud of you, Katie.
我今晚真为你开心
You made me so happy tonight!
谢谢妈妈
Thanks, mom.
其实也没有那么糟
You know what, it wasn't even that bad.
我化了妆中学时的一个刻薄女生
I got my makeup done, a mean girl
还通过了我的好友申请
from middle school approved my friend request.
瞧我说了这会是件好事
See, I told you this was gonna be a good thing.
我从没听过这么多的人对我说"干得好"
Yeah, and I've never had so many people say "good job."
做制♥作♥人可从来不会被人夸
You never hear that as a producer.
独家访问
全国步♥枪♥协会检举者终于发声
有时候我一个人坐着
Sometimes, I sit on my own hand
然后拍拍自己的背
and then pat myself on the back
好让自己觉得是陌生人干的
so it feels like a stranger's doing it.
等等什么
Wait. What?
这里是珀尔莎·斯科特·格里菲斯
...With Portia Scott Griffith.
斯坦你已经加入全国步♥枪♥协会30年了吗
Stan, you've been at the NRA for 30 years?
什么他们居然丢下我做我安排的采访
What? They did my NRA interview without me?
可我出外景了
But I was out in the field.
还一个问题都没写啊
I didn't write any questions.
那咱们就开门见山吧
So let's get right to it.
世界上最酷的枪是什么
What is, like, the coolest gun in the world?
天哪是她自己制♥作♥的
Oh, no. She produced it herself.
知道吗我有一次在泰勒·斯威夫特的
You know, I once shot a bazooka
音乐录影带里用过火箭筒
in a Taylor Swift video.
-这是个问题吗 -不是
- Is there a question? - No.
你有什么问题想问我吗
Do you have any questions for me?
泰勒·斯威夫特这人怎么样
What's Taylor Swift like?
我的天
Oh, my God.
全被她给毁了
She's screwed it all up.
我丢了一个大新闻就为了
I lost a huge story 'cause I was doing
做一些傻事来哄你开心
some stupid thing to make you happy.
不妈妈别用这种语气
No, mom, not "aw."
我再也不会出镜了
I'm never going on camera again.
什么
What?
我可以和电视明星合个影吗
Can I have a picture with the TV star?
当然
Yes.
明天我就会冲进格雷格的办公室
And tomorrow, I am marching into Greg's office,
告诉他这件事到此为止
And I am telling him that this is over.
拉尔夫回短♥信♥了
Ralphie texted back.
他说"她想得美" 加上四个马桶的表情
He said, "she wishes" and four toilet emojis.
你是谁啊清洁工吗
Hey, who are you, the janitor?
把这些别人
Clean up these papers
扔在地上的纸团打扫干净
that someone else threw on the ground.
不我是编辑贾斯汀
No, I'm the editor, Justin.
我是不是见到过你翻垃圾桶
Haven't I seen you going through the garbage?
没有啊等下
No. Oh, wait.
垃圾桶吗那没错
The garbage? Yeah.
吉他不错
Cool guitar.
这是她在表达感谢
That's her way of saying thank you.
行吧再见
Okay, well, see ya.
其实我在为节目写一首新的主题曲
I'm actually writing a new theme song for the show.
写得相当顺手
It's going really well.
-不错听听看呗 -好了你说中了
- Cool. Let's hear it. -All right, you got me!
我啥都没写出来
It's going horribly!
这不公平
It's not fair.
大家只会把我看作是
People only see me as one thing,
一个严肃的新闻主播
a serious newsman,
可我远不止那样
But I'm so much more!
我还是个音乐人
I'm a musician!
画家
I'm a painter.
会讲黄段子的单口相声演员魔术师
I'm a dirty standup. I'm a dirty magician.
-限制级的催眠师 -知道了再见
- I'm an x-rated hypnotist. - Okay, well, see ya.
珀尔莎得到了所有能尽情发挥的机会
Portia gets all these opportunities to be creative.
她才是有两副面孔的"蝙蝠侠" 不是我
She was the news anchor in two different "Batmans," but not me.
我终于有了一次写歌♥的机会
Finally, I get my opportunity to write a song
借此向全世界展示我不同的一面
to show a different side of myself to the world,
结果我却搞砸了
and I'm blowing it!
查克我都不知道你这么沉迷音乐
Chuck, I didn't know you were that into music.
你知道俗话说
Well, you know how the old saying goes,
"所有新闻主播都想成为摇滚明星
"All news anchors want to be rock stars
"而所有摇滚明星都想成为新闻主播"
and all rock stars want to be news anchors."
其实我自己有加入乐队
You know, I'm actually in a band myself.
行吧再见
Okay, well, see ya.
不我是说我可以帮你写歌♥