风骚律师

Better Call Saul S04E02

Part 2 Feb. 27, 2020, 8:40 a.m.

他告诉我了
Oh, he did, indeed -- um,
挨个办公室串的推销员
office-to-office salesman,
能接受吃无数的闭门羹
willing to have multiple doors slammed in my face,
只有一个任务
with one mission --
把他们的旧复印机升级升级升级成
upgrade, upgrade, upgrade their old copiers
你们的最新款
to your top-of-the-line new ones.
你觉得自己有这个本事吗
Well, you think you have the chops?
说得容易做起来可难多了
It's a lot harder than it sounds.
我很愿意尝试一下
Well, I'd sure love a crack at it.
人们都说顽强有说服力
I've been told stubbornness and persuasiveness
是我最突出的两个特点
are two of my top qualities.
我得说吉米很了解复印机
I have to say, Jimmy does know his way around a copier.
是吗
No kidding.
那么
Well...
这上面写你之前是律师
Says here you were a lawyer...
直到不久之前
up until not that long ago.
出什么事了
What changed?
你知道为什么上帝在造出律师前先创造毒蛇吗
Well, you know why God made snakes before he made lawyers?
他需要练习
He needed the practice.
-"需要练习" -对
- "Needed the practice." - Yeah.
没错吧
Right?
这也算是我知道的唯一一个律师的笑话
And that's pretty much the only lawyer joke I know
因为剩下的都是真事
'cause all the others are true stories.
我知道你们想找的是有销♥售♥经验的人选
Look, I know you're looking for somebody with sales experience,
我确实没有
and I don't have any,
除了我的律师经验
except -- except being a lawyer.
律师的工作就是销♥售♥
Look, being a lawyer, my job was sales.
我要向法官推销向陪审团推销
I was selling to judges. I was selling to juries.
有时候我还得向当事人推销
Sometimes I was selling to clients
说服他们接受最划算的协议放弃坏的选择
to take the best deal from a series of bad options,
但每一天的每一刻我都在劝说说服
but every hour of every day, I was convincing, persuading.
都在推销
I was selling.
我明白你的意思了
I hear what you're saying.
我们有很多高价的产品
You know, we have a lot of high-ticket items
顾客倾向于拒绝
and a clientele primed to say "No."
我的灵魂动物是毒蜥
Well, my spirit animal is a Gila monster.
一旦抓住猎物我就不会放手
Once I latch on, I don't let go.
我喜欢我喜欢
I like it. I like it.
你说得很有道理吉米
Well, you make a lot of excellent points, Jimmy.
我明白为什么亨利想让我见你了
I can see why Henry wanted me to meet you.
谢谢你过来
Well, thank you for coming down.
没问题不客气
Yeah, absolutely. Anytime.
我们要商量一下
Yeah. We're gonna put our heads together,
大概一周左右出结果
have a decision in, say, about a week or so.
-太好了 -到时候通知你
- Great. - u202dWe'll let you know then.
-谢谢你们 -不客气
- Thank you very much. - You bet.
太好了
Great.
怎么了
Yes?
抱歉我能再耽误你们一会吗
I'm sorry. Could I just have another minute?
我很快说完
Uh, I'll be real quick.
当然吉米
Uh, yeah, sure, Jimmy.
你有什么想法
Uh, what's on your mind?
听着我知道
Look, I know you were
你们要花点时间考虑人选
gonna take some time and consider your options,
但能不能现在就决定
but maybe we can settle this right now.
我们都知道有个说法叫机会成本
There's a thing that we all know called opportunity cost.
你们寻找合适人选的时间
The time you spend looking for someone
就是我可以为你们工作的时间
is time I could be out there working for you.
当然外面有不少比我
And, sure, there are salesmen out there
经验丰富的推销员
with way more experience than me.
但他们当中有多少人
But what are the chances one of them's gonna come
能在接下来一星期过来应聘呢
walking through that door in the next week?
他们又值得等这么久吗
And is it worth the wait?
也许值得也许
Maybe. Maybe.
但我可以说
But I can tell you this.
他们当中没人比我
None of them will have the connection
更熟悉你们的产品没人
to your machines that I do -- none.
我过去在收发室工作
I worked in the mail room.
我知道复印机的重要性
I know how important the copy machine is.
最后期限紧急变化我都在场
Deadlines, last-minute changes, and I was in there.
我在清理卡纸
I was clearing paper jams.
我在清理轮轴上的墨渍
I was cleaning ink off gears and rollers,
想要弄清楚纸上出现的竖线是哪来的
trying to figure out where the mystery streaks were coming from.
我卑躬屈膝
I was down on my hands and knees,
领带错位双手沾满墨水
with my tie over my shoulder and ink-stained hands
一排助理等在门外
and a line of assistants out the door,
他们都在担心会丢掉工作
and they're all worried that they're gonna lose their job
如果他们不能在五分钟内拿到文件
if they don't get their document in the next five minutes.
我了解我比任何人都了解复印机
I know -- I know better than anyone that the copier --
是任何商业的核心所在
it's the beating heart of any business.
复印机故障会造成延迟
It goes down, it causes delays.
会造成损失
That is lost money.
会导致员工不满
That is frustrated employees.
会影响办公环境
That's a negative work environment.
商业活动就会半死不活
That's a business on life support.
但一旦用上你们全新的机器
But you plug one of your new machines into the system
就会带来良性且强壮的心跳
that is a healthy, strong heartbeat.
咣当咣当咣当
Ca-chunk, ca-chunk, ca-chunk.
这是良性的商业
That is a healthy business.
咣当咣当咣当
Ca-chunk, ca-chunk, ca-chunk.
这是成功的商业
That is a successful business!
这才是我们要推销的
And that's what we're selling.
等一会儿
Um, just...a minute.
我不需要...
I don't need to...
还挺让人激动的
I mean, it's kind of exciting.
很棒而且这位先生
I mean, it was great, and I think the passion
所怀有的激♥情♥...
that this gentleman has --
你想象一下派他出去的效果
Can you imagine sending that guy out?
对来
Yeah. Come on.
吉米欢迎加入团队
Jimmy, welcome to the team.
真的吗
Really?
-没错 -恭喜
- Damn right! u202d - Congrats.
我们让人事部的奥德丽帮你办入职
We'll get you set up with Audrey in H.R.,
填好文件
fill out your paperwork,
希望今天你就都准备好了
and hopefully you'll be all set by the end of the day.
这样就行了吗
So, just like that, huh?
是的能让你开工了还等什么
Yep. Why wait when we could get you rolling?
可你们本来打算花点时间
You were gonna take some time, though,
再考虑一下
and, uh, consider your options, but, uh...
结果我进来慷慨陈词一番
I just come in and did that little song and dance,
就得到了职位
and I'm in?
是啊就是这样
u202dYeah. Right. That's right.
你们疯了吗
W-- Are you out of your mind?
你们根本不认识我
You don't know me.
我刚从街上走进来的
I just came in off the street.
你们俩就像两只猫
You guys are like a couple of cats.
我进来挥舞一个闪闪的东西
I come in and wave a shiny object around,
你们就激动地大喊想要
you're like, "I want that!"
没有尽职调查
No due diligence?
也没有背景调查
No background check?
都没有直接雇用一个会说漂亮话的人
No. Just hire the guy that says them fancy words?
我说不定是连环杀手呢
I could be a serial killer!
我说不定会在你们的咖啡壶里尿尿
I could be a guy who pees in your coffee pot!
没准这两种人我都是
I could be both!
这么说你不接受这份工作
So, you're not taking the job?
不我不接受
No, I'm not taking the job.
蠢货
Suckers.
我真可怜你们
I feel sorry for you.
奈夫复印机
喂请问一下
Hello. Um, I'm wondering --
你们还在招聘销♥售♥助理吗