阿奇（2023）

本节目是真人真事
内容经过广泛访问及深入研究
为了戏剧效果
部分场景和角色是创作而成的
你向她求婚？为什么
You asked her to marry you? Why?
因为我爱她，不想失去她
Because I love her. I don't want to lose her.
那是两回事
A very different thing.
对
Yeah.
今天一于谈谈这件事吧
So, let's get into that today.
你到底在担心什么
What is it that's worrying you?
我不应该当她的丈夫
Well, that I'm not supposed to be her husband
我也是个差劲的父亲
and I'll be a terrible father.
就这些吗
Is that it?
而且我正在种下祸根…
That I'm making a terrible mistake...
请你脱下眼镜吧，加利
Could you take your glasses off please, Cary?
我想看看你的样子
I just wanna see what you look like.
好吧，你还想我脱掉其他东西吗
There. Anything else you'd like me to take off?
为何你会迎娶戴安简侬
Why d'you marry Dyan Cannon?
对，你为何会迎娶戴安简侬
Yeah. Why did you marry Dyan Cannon?
你爱她吗
Do you love her?
我在这边，加利
I'm over here, Cary!
谁不…渴望娶到戴安简侬
Well, who wouldn't... want to marry Dyan Cannon?
她可比你年轻多了
She was so much younger than you?
我想郑重强调
I'd just like to state for the record that,
我迎娶历任太太，原因只得一个…
with all my wives, I only married for one reason...
因为我爱她，妈妈
because I love her, Mother.
别说蠢话了
Oh, don't be so ridiculous...
她是个骗子
She's a hustler!
只想借你的地位令事业扶摇直上
She just wants to use you as a leg up for her career.
你只说这些吗
Is that all you have to say?
真的吗？一句「恭喜」
Honestly? No...no 'congratulations',
或者「一切顺利」都没有？
no 'good luck?'
你希望我生活称心吗
Do you wish me well at all?
是你，我才会这么说
Well, it's because of you that I'm saying this!
为何你今天打给我
Why did you ring me today?
很明显你想获得我的认同
Because you obviously wanted my approval.
很遗憾，我无法同意…
Well, I'm sorry, I can't give you that...
我对你只会说真话
all I can give you is the truth.
还真是感谢
Well, thank you so much.
尚有其他金石良言吗
Any more pearls of wisdom to drop on me?
你本该与我一同生活，阿齐
You were going to come and live with me, Archie!
为何你要… 我无言了
-Why are you going to... -Wonderful.
与她生活，阿齐
live with her, Archie?
你明知她会伤透你的心
You know she'll make you unhappy. You know that.
我能令你活得快乐
I can make you happy.
你明知我等了这么多年
You know I've waited all these years.
我早知事有可疑
I can smell a rat.
为何你如此容易上当
Why are you so easily duped?
别告诉我你爱她…
And don't tell me you love her...
我要去工作了
Well, I have to go to work now,
妈妈，保重身体，好吗
so you keep well, mother. Okay?
再见
Bye bye.
我迎娶戴安，可能只想惹怒妈妈
I think I might have done it to spite my mother.
你愿意爱他、尊重他
Will you love him and honour him,
而且珍惜他，并服从他吗
will you cherish him and obey him?
我愿意
I will.
这婚戒印证了婚姻的誓言…
This marriage ring seals the vows of marriage...
也代表永远、恒久的爱
and represents eternal and everlasting love.
我现在宣布你们成为夫妻
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
你能亲吻新娘子了
You may kiss the bride.
我爱戴安简侬…
I loved Dyan Cannon...
起码我懂得如何爱她
as best I knew how.
我们已讨论过了，宝贝
We've been over this, darling.
顺产对宝宝、对你皆最好
A natural birth is best for baby and for you?
呼吸吧…
Breathe, breathe...
我理解…你的痛楚
I know, I know...I know your pain.
你胡说八道，加利
You're full of s**t, Cary!
绝对正确
Absolutely!
别给她任何药物
Don't give her any drugs,
别满足她任何要求
whatever she asks for. Okay?
用力推 给我药物
-Keep pushing... -Give me drugs!
继续用力推 给我迷幻药
-Keep pushing... -Give me LSD!
给我吧，什么都好
Give me anything!
来吧，只管推…推多一次…
Come on! Just push...one last time...
就是这样…
There it is...
我摸到头部了
I can feel the head!
一直推吧…
Keep pushing...
好吧，谁都别说话…
Okay, okay! No-one speak...
我的女儿珍妮花…
My daughter Jennifer...
不好意思…
Pardon me...
是世上最美好的
is the most beautiful thing in the world...
而且…她是我迄今最优秀的「作品」
and...she is by far my best production.
感谢各位的关心
Well, thank you for your interest
请回家陪伴家人吧
and please go back to your own families!
分享完毕了，男士们
That's all, boys!
此刻只有我和你…
It's just you and me now...
对…只有我和你…
Yeah...just you and me...
我整辈子都在等待这一刻
This is the moment I've been waiting for my whole life.
谢谢你
Thank you.
开始吧 谢谢你
-Here we go! -Thank you.
珍妮花，这位是美尔
Jennifer meet Mae...
看看她，她真完美
Look at her! She's perfect!
她气色很好
She's alright!
你好
Hi!
简直受宠若惊，亲爱的
It's pretty astounding, isn't it, love?
我们收到的贺卡、花束及贺电
We've had cards and flowers and telegrams
来自世界各地
from all over the world.
「罗伯特及艾瑟尔肯尼迪送上万分祝贺」
'Many congratulations from Robert and Ethel Kennedy.'
不得了，大家都很友善
How about that? People are being so kind.
「你老是这么调皮」
'Clever old you'.
「希区柯克与阿尔玛」
'from Hitch and Alma'.
这篇贺词与我无关
I had a little something to do with it.
与你的关系可大了
You had a lot to do with it.
不是吗？妈妈真了不起
Didn't she? Mummy was amazing!
这是我们温馨的家
This is our lovely house.
我要补充体力，我要吃巧克力
I need energy. I need chocolate.
我要吃曲奇
I need cookies!
才不…别再吃不伦不类的东西
Oh no, no, no! None of that nonsense anymore!
妈妈要吃蔬菜，对吗
Mummy needs vegetables, doesn't she?
妈妈需要蛋白质和维生素
Mummy needs proteins and vitamins!
美尔，请你给她弄点鸡肉沙律吧
Mae, can you knock her up a chicken salad, please?
马上送到
Right away!
我还未看到宾丝
Oh hey! I haven't seen Bangs yet.
宾丝
Hey, Bangs!
这是你的新玩伴
Come and meet your new playmate.
看，阳光正好
Oh look, there's sunshine out the window,
外面有个泳池…
there's a swimming pool out there, yes...
美尔，宾丝在哪里
Mae, where's Bangs?
加利，我的狗狗在哪里
Cary, where's my dog?
我为它找了新的家庭
I found her a new home.
原来除了卫生问题
It turns out in addition to the hygiene issues,
动物会极为嫉妒初生宝宝
animals can experience extreme jealousy around newborns.
加利，我的狗狗在哪里
Cary, where's my dog?
无论在哪里，快带它回来
Wherever she is, go and get her back.
恕难从命
I won't be doing that.
加利，去吧…带它回来
Cary, go...Cary, go and get her back.
它从未伤害过人
She's never hurt anyone!
动物可能会性情大变
They can have profound personality changes.
这很难预料
You never know.
天啊，你做了什么
Oh, my God, what have you done?
至少不要在今天吵架，好吗
Let's not do this, not today of all days.
适应改变，迎接新生活吧
Let's start out how we mean to go on.