极品基老伴：完结篇（2016）

What the bloody hell happened to you?
我惹上了麻烦
I got into a bit of a scrape.
有的孩子实在太熊
Some of those kids are real wankers.
你还好吗
Are you all right?
还好
Yeah.
我抓住其中一个猛揍了一顿
Got one of them back big time,
但我现在得重新找份工作
But now I need to find another job.
很显然你不能揍7岁小孩
Apparently you're not allowed to hit 7-year-olds,
就算是他们先动的手
Even if they hit you first.
菜单怎么还没拿来
Did you get a menu yet?
我还是上楼
Well, I should go upstairs
吃掉我攒着的那半根香蕉
and eat that half a banana I was saving.
好的 去吧
Yes, off you go.
艾什 别走 我们正要喝茶呢
Ash, don't leave. We're all about to have tea.
不行 有时斯图尔特和我也需要二人世界
No, no. Sometimes Stuart and I would like to be alone.
你们就没人想过这点吗
Did any of you ever think of that?
没
No.
弗雷迪说得对
Freddie's right.
我们不是来伺候你们的
We're not here just to serve you people.
你们家餐馆的服务态度也太恶劣了吧
That's an awful attitude to have if you're running a restaurant.
饼干上的是鱼子酱吗 斯图尔特
Is that caviar on those biscuits, Stuart?
你们从什么时候开始吃得起鱼子酱了
Since when can you afford caviar?
不 那不是鱼子酱
No, that's not caviar.
我...是我打了个喷嚏
I, um...I sneezed.
那是鼻涕
It's snot.
我们不想久留你 小维
Well, we don't want to keep you, Vi.
你还是回家
You probably want to get back home
坐在地板上跟墙干瞪眼吧
so you can sit on the floor and watch the wall.
那边的是香槟吗
Are those bottles of champagne over there?
怎么 你想用这瓶子去砸小孩的头吗
Why? Do you want to use one to smash over the head of a toddler?
最近你们家出现了很多昂贵的东西啊 亲爱的
There are lots of expensive things here lately, darling.
我根本听不明白你们两个在说什么
I don't understand what both of you are saying.
我们已经跟你们说过 我们没什么钱
We have told you already we do not have any money.
斯图尔特·比克斯比的两打龙虾
I've got two dozen lobsters for Stuart Bixby.
龙虾
Lobsters?
这他妈可得花上不少钱
This is gonna cost a fortune!
这笔钱我们花得特别快
We're going through this money very quickly.
巴尔萨泽的植毛手术费尤其高昂
Balthazar's hair implants might have been one expense too many.
佩内洛普以为我们这是家餐馆 真是太棒了
The nice thing about Penelope thinking this was a restaurant
她为自己那份龙虾付了钱
was that she paid for her own lobster.
她还给了我一笔可观的小费
And she left me a good tip.
那让我很喜欢她
That makes me rather like her.
弗雷迪 我得坦白一件事
Freddie, I have a confession to make.
别 希望你不要生气
No, please, don't be angry.
我往维奥莱特和艾什的账户里打了钱
I've put money into both Violet's and Ash's bank accounts.
你干了什么
You did what?
我知道 我们说过这笔钱留着自己花
Well, I know we said we'd just spend it on ourselves,
但他们是家人啊
But they're family.
不过我们只给了他们一半 我们还剩另一半
I only gave them half, though. We still have half left.
不 另一半也没了
No, we don't.
什么意思
What do you mean?
我做了一样的事
I did the same thing.
不是吧
Oh, no!
那我们还剩多少钱
So how much does that leave us with?
负200英镑
MINUS £200.
我想我们又破产了
So I suppose we're broke again.
你知道什么是免费的吗
You know what doesn't cost anything?
又来
Twice?
一周做两次
In one week?
毕竟我们是新婚夫夫
We are newlyweds.
夏季
弗雷迪 邮件来了
Freddie, the post here!
你收到了好多生日贺卡
You've got lots of birthday cards!
鬼知道是为什么
God knows why.
大家总是把我的生日小题大做
Everybody always makes such a big deal out of my birthday.
有时我都希望我没这么被人深爱着
You know, sometimes I wish I wasn't so beloved...
就跟你这样
Like you.
我觉得你会很喜欢我今年给你准备的生日礼物
I think you're really going to like my present this year.
是吗 你用我的钱买♥♥什么了
Really? And what did you buy me with my money?
你一直都很喜欢我的礼物
You always love my presents.
我一直都这么会挑选生日礼物
I'm always good at birthday presents,
就像你一直都这么混♥蛋♥一样
just as you are always good at being an arsehole.
呸
Yuck.
呸
Yuck.
这是什么
What's this?
生日快乐 弗雷迪
Happy birthday, Freddie.
"《唐顿庄园》全体剧组成员向你致以真挚的爱"
"With love from the cast and crew of 'Downton Abbey.'"
他们都记得你真是太让人感动了
Oh, that was nice of them to remember you.
他们当然会记得我了
Well, of course they remember me.
我可是参演了两集呢
I did appear in two episodes.
我几乎算是常驻演员了
I was practically a series regular.
第二集真的算吗
Are we really counting the second episode?
为什么不算呢
And why wouldn't we?
里面只出现了你的一只胳膊
Well they only showed one of your arms.
是啊 但是我拿着橙子
Yes, but I was carrying oranges,
第一集我拿的是土豆
And in the first episode, it was potatoes.
善于观察的观众可以推断出那只胳膊属于我
An observant viewer could deduce who was attached to that arm.
"属于"可算是言过其实了
"Attached" is a pretty strong word,
毕竟它一天要脱臼6次
considering it comes out of its socket about 6 times a day.
我为什么要指望你能懂
Why do I expect you to understand
上电视是什么感觉呢
what it's like being on television?
你每天所做的最激动的事不过是捡捡狗屎罢了
The most exciting thing you do each day is pick up dog crap.
小心说话 弗雷迪
Watch it, Freddie.
要不是看在你生日的份上
If it wasn't your birthday,
我早就朝你的蛋蛋狠狠踢几脚了
I'd kick you so hard in the balls right now.
好啊 亲爱的
Hello, darling.
我专门过来祝弗雷迪生日快乐的
I just popped by to wish Freddie a happy birthday.
顺便爆个我的料
And to tell you my news.
什么料
what news?
其实我是拉拉
I'm a lesbian.
你当直女都这么糟糕了 当拉拉还能糟糕到哪里去
Well, you can't be any worse at it than being a heterosexual.
我也是这么想的
That was my thinking, too.
我已经在地铁上遇到了一位超级棒的女人
And I've already met the most fantastic woman on the tube.
你们介意我今晚带卡洛特
Do you mind if I bring Carlotta round tonight
来参加你的派对吗 弗雷迪
For your party, freddie?
为什么不呢 反正我也没安排什么娱乐活动
Well, why not? We don't have any other entertainment planned.
你知道拉拉通常会做些什么吗
You wouldn't happen to know what it is that lesbians do, would you?
不知道
I don't.
也不想知道
Nor do I want to.
-嗨 -哈罗 艾什
- Hi! - Hello, ash!
生日快乐 弗雷迪
Happy birthday, Freddie!
谢谢你 艾什
Thank you, Ash.
你怎么穿得像个荡♥妇♥一样
Why are you dressed as a total slut?
这是我新工作要穿的 我现在是救生员了
It's for me new job. I'm a lifeguard.
我看起来还行吧
Do I look ok?
我不知道 亲爱的 因为我现在是拉拉了
I can't tell anymore, darling, since I'm a lesbian now.
瞧吧 我毫无反应
See? Nothing.
你什么时候变成拉拉了
When did you become a lesbian?
现在几点了
What time is it?
小维 如果你想借东西的话
If you want to borrow anything, Vi,
斯图尔特的大部分衣服都适合老拉拉穿
most of Stuart's clothes are appropriate for an aging lesbian.
你好 梅森
Hello, Mason.
你好 亲爱的 我是拉拉
Hello, darling. I'm a lesbian.
太好了
Oh, splendid.
你们看到佩内洛普了吗 她好像不见了
Have any of you seen Penelope? She seems to have disappeared.
没看到 不过要是看到了我们会联♥系♥你的
No, we haven't seen her, but we'll call if we do.
你不邀请我进去吗
Aren't you going to invite me in?
里面人已经够多了
It's really full in here already.
看起来挺帅的啊 艾什
Looking pretty good, Ash.
非常感谢
Thanks a lot.
谢谢你这么说
Really appreciate that.