极品基老伴：完结篇（2016）

剧终集
极品基老伴
春季
我们很久没干过那事了啊
Well, it's been a long time since we did that.
我本来不确定还能不能干得动
I wasn't sure it would all still work.
竟然宝刀未老
But it did.
那感觉就和踩单车一样...
It's like riding a bike...
一辆被风吹雨淋整整20年的老单车
That's been left out in the rain for 20 years.
有一瞬间 我还以为我把你"搞"死了
For a second there, I thought I killed you.
我是维奥莱特 亲爱的们
It's Violet, darling!
弗雷迪 记好了
Now, Freddie, remember,
千万别提我妈留给我的遗产
no mentioning the inheritance my mother left me.
这是我们第一次有点小积蓄
It's the first time we've ever had any savings,
我想把钱留给我们自己用
and I want us to be able to keep it for ourselves.
我破产了 亲爱的 我现在身无分文
I'm broke, darling. I've got nothing.
那真是太糟了
Oh, that's too bad.
那么 还有什么新鲜事吗
So, what else is new?
你们难道不想知道发生什么了吗
Don't you want to know what happened?
不是很想
Not really.
离婚让我失去了一切
I lost everything in the divorce.
我不太明白
I don't understand.
离婚怎么会害你失去一切呢
How did you lose everything in the divorce?
你才结了几个月的婚而已
You were only married a few months.
其实 是他把钱财都偷走了
Well, actually, he stole it all,
但是这么说听起来比较有格调
but this way sounds more sophisticated.
你会挺过难关的 亲爱的 你是不死小强
You'll pull through, dear. You always do.
那也正是我们爱你的原因之一
That's one of the things we love about you.
你这样的人生 任何正常人
Any sane person with your life
早在八百年前就自杀了
would've killed themselves long ago.
谢谢你 弗雷迪
Thank you, Freddie.
但我想这次应该是挺不过去了
But I don't think I will pull through this time.
我发现自己正挣扎在财政崩溃的边缘
I've really found myself on the brink of financial ruin.
真希望我们能帮上忙...只可惜不能
If only we could help... but we can't.
当然不可能了
Of course not,
而我也不会向你们索要任何东西的
and I would never ask you for anything.
我到现在都还在讶异 斯图尔特
I'm still so surprised, Stuart,
你妈妈居然没有留给你任何遗产
that your mother left you nothing in her will.
是啊 一分钱都没有 她花光了
Nope. Not a penny. Spent it all.
到底怎么花的啊
What on earth on?
她上次买♥♥裙子的时候 希♥特♥勒♥还掌着权呢
The last time she bought a dress, Hitler was in power.
鬼知道啊
Who knows?
买♥♥可♥卡♥因♥...
Cocaine...
叫牛郎...
Rentboys...
她一直都有自己的阴暗面
She always had a bit of a dark side.
好吧 我想也是
Yes, I suppose.
你们两个穿的睡袍都是新买♥♥的吗
Are those new dressing gowns you're both wearing?
不是
No.
真的吗 你真的确定吗
Really? Are you quite certain?
少问问题 多化点妆
Fewer questions, more makeup.
你为什么穿成这样 亲爱的
Why are you dressed like that, dear?
这是我新的工作装 我是个交通协管员
Oh, it's for me new job. I'm a lollipop man.
我的天呐
Jesus christ!
再加上其它三份工作
Between this and my 3 other jobs,
我应该付得起四月的房♥租
I should be able to make April's rent.
现在都五月了
It's May.
天呐 真的吗
Oh, god, is it?
你还记得我们以前觉得他有多迷人吗
Do you remember how attractive we used to think he was?
说不定我和你能一起找个法子
If only you and I could find a way
来赚点外快 亲爱的
to make some extra cash, darling.
你知道怎样来钱比较快吗
You know what I've heard can be quite lucrative?
性♥爱♥录影带
A sex tape.
这个嘛 我不...我不觉得...
Y-y-yeah, I don't-- I don't think--
不 我也有一些顾虑
No, I have my reservations, too,
但这事我们不妨考虑一下
But it's something we should consider.
你们觉得这样能赚大钱吗
Do you think we could make much money?
如果是"付费可以跳过" 那就能
Only if people had to pay not to see it.
我们也不想急着赶你们走
Well, we hate to give you short shrift,
但我们已经订好在萨伏伊酒店做按♥摩♥和吃午餐了
but we've booked massages today and then lunch at the Savoy,
走好不送
so good-bye.
我也该走了
I should go anyway.
如果我迟到了 小朋友会唱
If I'm late, the kids sing,
艾什 艾什 得皮疹
Ash, Ash, has a rash.
涂满糊糊剃光头
Shove his stupid head in mash.
好极了
Wonderful!
真开心你过得那么好
It's so good to hear you're doing so well.
来吧 你也是 快起来
Come on. You, too, get up.
在萨伏伊酒店做按♥摩♥和吃午饭
Massages and lunch at the Savoy.
听起来就很贵啊
That all sounds very expensive.
-别人请的 -谁
- It's a present. - From whom?
玉皇大帝王母娘娘
Addydaddybaddawob.
谁来着
Who?
抱歉啊 亲爱的 电♥话♥响了 我要去接
I'm sorry, dear, the phone's ringing. I have to get it.
我没听到...
I don't hear the--
试穿完还能买♥♥下来的感觉真是太好了...
it's so nice to try something on and actually buy it...
比跟售货员说忘带钱包
Instead of telling the salesman I've left my wallet
然后哭晕在厕所里要强多了
at home and then crying in the toilet.
人一旦有钱了
Once you have money,
就会发现那些没钱的人有多令人作呕了
you really notice how revolting everyone who doesn't have it is.
我们还是得确保
Let's just make sure
不要铺张浪费 过度花钱
we don't get too out of control with the spending.
没错 你说得对
Yes, you're right.
那么 我们来喝点茶再吃点鱼子酱吧
So, shall we have some tea and caviar?
来吧
Let's.
真心希望巴尔萨泽喜欢这个蒂芙尼的水碗
Oh, I do hope Balthazar likes his Tiffany water bowl.
我去开 可能是龙虾送来了
I'll go. It's probably the lobsters.
你们想干什么
What do you two want?
是啊 我做完心脏三重搭桥手术后恢复得不错
Oh, yes, I am fine after my triple bypass.
真谢谢你关心我的病情
Thank you so much for asking.
我以为是下周才做手术呢
I thought that was next week.
是上周
It was last week.
很显然我在手术台上死去了一分钟
Apparently I died for one minute on the table.
你现在不是活得好好的
Well, you're alive now.
这就是你跟我说过的那个男人吗
Is this the man you were telling me about,
你口中的那个"混账东西"
the one you said was a total motherfucker?
正是
Yes.
我加了点鹅肝在... 你们好啊
I've added a little foie gras to the--oh, hello.
你好
Hello.
-那是另一个混账东西吗 -是的
- Is that the other motherfucker? - Yes.
我们没想到会有客人来
We weren't expecting company.
估计是因为我们没邀请任何人吧
I suppose that's because we didn't invite anybody over.
那都是什么
What's all that?
就是茶 还有不新鲜的饼干
Oh it's just some tea and stale biscuits.
-真好 我快饿死了 -我也是
- Good, I'm starving. - So am I.
麻烦有空端两杯水 拿份菜单过来
Two waters and a menu when you get a chance, please.
你好 亲爱的
Hello, darling.
我只是过来转转 看看我能不能借点什么
I was just popping by to see if I could borrow something.
借什么
What?
一张沙发 一台电视
A sofa and a television.
我的好像都没交齐钱
It seems mine weren't completely paid for.
你好 维奥莱特 快进来喝茶
Hello, Violet, why don't you join us for tea?
听上去不错
That sounds lovely.
你认识这里的每个人啊
You know everyone at this place.
有件事我一直想问你 梅森
I feel there's something I've been meaning to ask you, Mason.
你是想问我心脏三处搭桥手术后的情况吗
You mean how am I after my triple bypass?
不 不是这事
No, that's not it.
怎么这么多购物袋 斯图尔特
What are all those shopping bags, Stuart?
那是博柏利牌的吗
Is that from Burberry?
不是
No.
那是傻柏利 你看错了
It said Sainsbury. Your eyes are going.
也许大家是时候开始
Maybe now is a good time for everyone to start
收拾东西走人了
gathering their things.
你这是怎么了