You really don't know, do you?
我们结婚那晚,我以为一切会很好。
On our wedding night. I thought everything was fine.
我正准备和她大干一场。
l was ready to give here hose down.
那么,布莱纳夫人
Well, hello, Mrs. Brenner.
事实上,我要保留我自己的名字。
Actually, I'm gonna keep my own name.
好吧,随便。
Yeah, whatever.
来点酒吧。
Yeah. A Little of the old bubbly.
还记得我们的第一次?
Remember our first time?
你丢下我一个,只留下一卷硬币。
When you Left me out in Malibu with nothing but a roll of quarters?
是的,你那是真性感。
Yeah. That was so hot.
为那事。
Here's to that.
让我们交换一点体液吧,宝贝。
Let's swap bodily fluids, baby.
我醒来后,她已经走了。
When I woke up, she was gone.
第2天,婚姻宣布无效,她也不见了。
The next day, marriage was annulled, she was nowhere to be found.
在也见不到她了。 我以为你们两个合谋来骗我们的赌博基金。
Never saw her again. Figured you two had a scam to get the bachelor cash.
好极了,我现在的女孩比以前还多。
That's cool, though. I'm getting more pussy now than ever.
女人确实可以弥补我破碎的心。
Chicks really dig a guy with a broken heart.
凯利,我很抱歉。
Kyle, I am so sorry.
我开玩笑的,你了解我。
I'm kidding. I just play that. You know me.
我会做单卵猎人直到80岁。
I'll be a one-balled babe hound when I'm 80.
我现在有一个新人,她很可爱。
I got a date with a new girl. She's fantastic.
什么?又一个卖♥♥化妆品的?
What, another cosmetics counter girl?
不伙计,是图书管♥理♥员♥,她真可爱,红头发
No, man, no. A Librarian. She's so hot. A Little redheaded girl.
她给我这本书看
She gave me this book to read.
这本书会改变你的生活。
This book will change your Life.
我要走了.
I gotta go.
有兴趣玩我的胡萝卜吗?
I Like to be spanked with a day-old carrot.
你有多少钱?
How much you got?
20块
Twenty bucks.
和我的胡萝卜。
And my own carrot.
对不起。
Excuse me.
我有一点建议,也许听起来有点古怪.
I've got a proposal, but it might sound a Little strange.
中国戏院这么走吗?
The Chinese Theater is this way?
谢谢,女士.
Thank you very much, ma'am.
胡萝卜在哪里? -我会处理.
Where's the carrot? - I got it.
没问题,我会处理.
It's okay. I got it.
我只是想给你这个。
I just wanted to give you this.
你去了那里?
You were there?
我试图阻止婚礼但太迟了。
I tried to stop the wedding, but I was Late.
那么这个建议……
So, this proposal...
...和性有关吗?
...does it involve sex?
应该说和性很有关系.
Yeah, I'd say there'd be a fair amount of sex involved.
还和房♥子、戒指有关系。
Definitely a house and a ring.
也许还有孩子。 -孩子?
Maybe even some children. - Children?
最起码还有一条狗。不过决不会有大花鼠。
At least a dog. Definitely not a hamster.
我喜欢狗
I Like dogs.
发生什么了,德雷尼。
So, what's up, Delaney?
你爱我吗?
You love me or something?
爱.
I do.
我很高兴在这里宣布……
I now happily ratify...
...你们结合为夫妻。
...your union as husband and wife.
你可以吻新娘了。
You may kiss your bride.
等一下.
Wait.
你得先说那三个字。
Not until you say those three Little words.
我再不会上当了。
I'm not falling for that one again.
吃我的鸡♥巴♥。
Suck my cock.
暂停,暂停。
Hold it. Hold it.
你以为我是傻瓜啊?
How big ofan idiot do you think l am?
我爱你!
I love you.
太美妙了。你象我的女王。
This is fantastic. You're Like a big, bad dominatrix.
我等不及了,让我见识一下吧。
I can't wait to get to this. Show me what you got.
我不知道。
I don't know.
我觉得好像没感觉了。
I think something's missing.
是的,你快一点呀!
Yeah, something's missing, get your butt out of that Little thing.
快做啊!让我见识一下。
You got to do something to me. Let's see what you got.
Tricia?
What the hell am I thinking?
Oh, God, I knew it!
Oh, how could you?
Consuela. Kelly. Tricia!
You're all dirty birdies!
You want to join us?
Thank God Almighty!
Come on, Johnny.
Oh, yeah, Johnny. Oh, come on.
If you don't cut, I'm gonna come.
What is it exactly you want me to say?
You know...
...those three...
...Little...
...words.
Okay. I love you.
I love you, I love you.
I love you.
Yeah, baby!
Hold it, Bob.
- In unison, turn. Okay? - Two, three.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I tried, I tried.
C mark.
Action!
You're under arrest, you sick fuck.
You should try some Visine.
Why do I need Visine?
So you can get a clear future of our vision together.
Wash my car.
I mean, I might've fallen in love with her that night.
What happened to her?
She might've been the love of my Life.
Energy and pace.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm experimenting. He said try some stuff. I'm blowing bubbles.
You're welcome.
Michael. Oh, call me.
Okay. I will.
Don't get too comfortable.
- You have got to wait your turn. - Hurry up, I'm next.
Jesus Christ! What the hell is this?
Oh, my God.
Cut.
That's a wrap.
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