荣誉榜（2018）

他总是给我施压
He told me that if I wanted to kiss and hug,
他说如果我想要接吻拥抱的话
we'd have to do it first.
我们得先做♥爱♥
I-Is that why you broke up with him?
这就是为什么你跟他分手了吗
It's so stupid.
太蠢了
Like, why does it always have to be about sex?
为什么总是要扯到性上
I know.
我懂
Why don't we make a pact to stay virgins?
为什么我们不做一个保持贞节的约定呢
Really?
真的吗
Yeah. It's us versus the whole school.
对呀 这会是 我俩对整个学校
Let's wait to have sex until we're married.
让我们等到结婚的时候再开始性生活
Or at least engaged.
或至少等到订婚
Do you see any chicks up here?
你们在这上面看到任何妞儿了吗
Yeah, there's no way we can do this.
呵呵 我们肯定做不到的
That's sexist.
这可是性别歧视了
Yeah, totally sexist, but true.
对啊 完全是性别歧视 但也是事实
I've researched competitive eating.
我查过大胃王比赛的相关信息
If we stand up, it'll give us more room for food.
如果我们站着吃 胃里会有更多空间承纳食物
If we dunk each slice into water,
如果我们把每片披萨泡在水里
it'll lubricate the pizza going down our throats.
会有助于我们吞咽
Ugh. Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to garlic.
好吧 不要 我非常肯定我对大蒜过敏
I'm lactose intolerant, but I'm still doing this.
我有乳糖不耐症 但我还是过来参加了
Yeah, I'm just not sure.
好吧 我只是有点犹豫
What, you're too afraid
犹豫什么 你害怕
to desecrate your perfect online image?
这会亵渎了你完美的网络形象吗
No, I don't care about that.
不是 我并不在乎那些
Sure.
鬼才信
Think of Honor.
想想奥娜
Her whole life was grapefruits and hard-boiled eggs.
她一生吃的只有西柚和水煮蛋
Uh, we're here for the Big Mama & Papa's Pizza challenge.
我们是来参加"超级爸比妈咪比萨挑战"的
Perfecto.
好的
First we need you to challenge another group.
首先 我们需要你们选一个组挑战
We choose them.
我们选他们
Seriously?
当真
Boom.
轰轰
Boom.
轰轰
Pow. Yeah.
啪 耶
Yeah, I don't know. Think is gonna be okay.
是啊 我不知道 我想不会有事的
Bathroom is back there. Okay.
厕所在后面 好的
Yeah, you have one hour to finish these pizzas.
你们有一个小时吃完这些披萨
Let's make history, girls.
创造历史吧 姑娘们
I mean, I'm on my period, so I've got this.
我正来例假 我能做到的
Pronte, attente, via.
准备 注意 开始
What?
怎么了
It looks like someone threw up on your face.
你看起来像有人吐在了你的脸上
Okay, have you seen your face?
好吧 那你看到你的脸了吗
Or Sophie's?
或 苏菲的
No, no, no, no, no.
不 不 不 不 不
Can't laugh. It hurts.
不能笑 疼
You have one minute left.
你们还剩一分钟
Look, we're not gonna finish.
听着 我们不用吃完
We just have to beat them,
我们只需要比他们吃得多
wipe their saucy smiles off their CrossFit faces.
把贱兮兮的笑容从他们那肌肉发达的脸上抹掉
I can't. No more.
我不行了 不能再吃了
I give in.
我投降
No, you can't give in.
不行 你不能投降
Would you let those Worth the Wait girls
你愿意让那些用"值得等待"的姑娘
star in "Girls Gone Wild"?
成为"野性妹网"的色情明星吗
Mm-mm.
不要
Then show me your willpower!
那就让我看到你的意志力
Oh, God.
哦 天呐
Time's up.
时间到
Ugh.
呃
We tell no one about this.
这件事谁也别说
Sophie, do you have antacids?
苏菲 你有抗酸药吗
Yeah. They're in my purse.
有 在我包里
Oh, no. Block your ears again.
哦 不 再把你们的耳朵堵上
La, la la la la!
啦 啦 啦 啦 啦
La, la la!
啦 啦 啦
Okay, I'm gonna cross this off.
好了 我要把这条划掉了
Next one on the list is...
清单上的下一项是...
perform at an open mic night.
在麦克风之夜上表演
Piper, this has your name written all over it.
派珀 这条写的都是你的名字
What do you mean?
你什么意思
It's from that time that you choked
这是咱们八年级时
before the variety show in eighth grade.
你在文艺晚会之前噎住的时候写的
That's right.
没错
It was so embarrassing.
当时太尴尬了
Hey, you cannot talk about embarrassing.
喂 你没资格说尴尬
We can literally hear you shitting molten lava.
我们都能听到你拉稀的声音好吗
I hate myself.
我讨厌我自己
你什么时候到家 我和你♥爸♥爸今
You're leaving?
你要走了
Yeah.
对
O-Okay.
好吧
Bye, Sophie.
拜 苏菲
Okay, bye.
好的 拜
There's really not a... A good way to say this
真的没有一个合适的方式来谈这件事
or a good time.
或者一个合适的时机
Your dad is moving out.
你们的爸爸要搬出去了
We were gonna wait until after graduation to tell you, but...
我们本来是要等你毕业之后再告诉你们的 但是...
Your mom can't live with me for one more second.
你们妈妈连一秒种都不想再和我一起生活了
You're the one who said our marriage was dead.
是你说我们的婚姻已经名存实亡了
Suppose this was a long time coming.
我想这事儿酝酿已久了
So you're just gonna leave, too?
所以你也要离开了吗
Got an early-morning lecture.
明天有早课
You seen my jacket?
你看到我的外套了吗
It's in the back room.
在后面的房♥间里
"There's something both frightening
"黑暗既令人恐惧
And yet so very comforting about darkness.
又给人安慰
It's in the way it hugs every curve of your body,
它以日光做不到的方式
How it forgives those mountains and plateaus
包裹着你身体的每条曲线
That daylight does not.
笼罩着山脉和高原
In the darkness, you can hide.
在黑暗中 你可以隐藏
You can hide from pretty much anything,
你可以躲避几乎任何事物
so you turn off the lights."
所以你熄灭了灯光"
I don't even know if it's poetry,
我都不清楚这算不算首诗
just random thoughts,
只是些胡思乱想
brain excrement.
大脑残渣
No one's ever read it.
没人读过
I feel like I'm in the dark,
我感觉我像在黑暗当中
like I'm hiding.
感觉我在躲藏
You do? From what?
是吗 躲什么
I keep listening to "Appassionata".
我不停地听"热情奏鸣曲"
Beethoven wrote it
贝多芬在无人知晓他失去听觉的时候
when he was losing his hearing and no one knew.
写了这首曲子
He hid it from everyone.
他隐瞒了所有人
He was in the dark.
他身处黑暗之中
Can I tell you something?
我能告诉你件事儿吗
Yeah. What's up?
当然 怎么了
You should keep writing.
你应该继续写下去
Your brain excrement is good shit.
你的大脑残渣可一点儿都不渣
No, no, no, no, no, I am an average white guy.
不 不 我只是一个普通的白人
But I'm expected to somehow be doing awesome,
尽管我只是个普通人 别人却期待我做一些酷炫的事情
succeeding, and kicking ass, despite being average.
拳打南山猛虎 脚踢北海蛟龙
Because I'm white?
难道就因为我是个白人
Let me ask you something.
现在我问你几个问题
If being white was all it was cracked up to be,
如果仅仅因为是白人就值得被吹捧
I should be hosting my own show on cable TV, right?
那我现在不应该在电视上主持自己的秀吗
Well, then why am I stuck emceeing this open mic?
那为什么我却沦落到在这里主持麦克风之夜呢
'Cause you suck.
因为你逊毙了