犯罪现场清理员 2022圣诞特辑（2022）

until he developed scrotum lesions.
我们又回到睾丸话题了吗，罗拔？
Are we back on testicles again, Robert?
那个男人的妻子和艾伯托发生了性关系
The man's wife was having sex with Alberto,
那或许只是意味着 艾伯托比那个男人更擅长性♥爱♥？
then maybe that just means Alberto was better at sex than the man?
是的
Yeah.
也许艾伯托的手技很好
Maybe Alberto was good with his hands.
什么是伦科恩之家？
What's Runcorn House?
那是个安置所
It's a placement.
一个家？
A home?
我不喜欢这么叫它，这个词不太恰当
I don't like calling it that. It's not the right word.
听着，我得走了，我可以载你回伦科恩
Listen, I gotta go. I'll give you a lift back to Runcorn though.
我5点42分离开
I leave at 5.42.
听着，我必须走了，兄弟 你不能待在这里
Look, I've got to go mate. You can't stay here.
不，我每个星期天都在5点42分离开
No, I leave at 5.42 every Sunday.
你不会想念你的圣诞大餐吗？
Are you not gonna miss your Christmas dinner?
嗯，我真正喜欢的只有圣诞餐具
Well, the only thing I really like is the Christmas crackers,
我真的很喜欢那些笑话
I really like the jokes.
世界上最潮湿的动物是什么？
What's the wettest animal in the world?
驯鹿
A reindeer.
圣诞老人和鸭子交♥配♥得到什么？
What do you get if you cross a Santa with a duck?
圣诞呱呱叫
Christmas quackers.
搞砸一个笑话是不好的，你知道的
It's not nice to ruin a joke you know.
即使听过我的笑话，我的哥哥总是笑
My brother always laughed at my jokes, even if he had heard them.
是你♥爸♥爸把你带到这里来的吗？
Was it your dad that brought you here?
是的
Yes.
那是什么时候？
And when was that?
我14岁的时候
When I was 14.
那段时间你一直来艾伯托的店吗？
You've been coming to Alberto's all that time?
是的，每个星期天 直到有一天他摔断了我的胳膊
Yes, every Sunday until the day he broke my arm.
他什么？
He what?
我当时太愚蠢，无法理解事物
I was being stupid and not understanding things,
所以，他把我从椅子上推下来 也是理所当然的
so, he pushed me off my chair and quite rightly too.
然后，在医院时我说 我是从梯子上摔下来的…
And, in hospital I said, I fell from a ladder...
但那不是真的，罗拔
But, that's not true Robert.
我知道你不该撒谎
I know you're not supposed to tell lies,
但我的父亲告诉我这是一个紧急的谎言
but my father told me this was an emergency lie,
否则警♥察♥会来
otherwise the police would come
把我抓走，送我去治疗单位
and take me and put me in a treatment unit.
有一段时间，我们继续在星期天 吃蜜桃梅尔巴
We carried on having peach Melba's on a Sunday for a while,
直到有一天
until one day,
我爸爸来告诉我，我必须去一个安置所
my dad came and told me that I had to go into a placement.
哦，那个有坏蛋蛋的人的地方？
Oh, this place with the guy with the bad balls?
不？不
No? No.
听着，我很抱歉他离开了你
Listen, I'm sorry he left you.
为什么？他刚开始一份新工作
Why? He just started a new job,
所以他会非常忙，并且会四处奔波
so, he would be very busy and be moving around a lot.
但是一旦他安顿下来，他就会来接我
But, as soon as he settles he's coming to get me.
对
Right.
每个星期天
Every Sunday,
我父亲知道我会在艾伯托的店 吃蜜桃梅尔巴雪糕
my father knows I'll in Alberto's eating peach Melba ice cream.
他甚至可能今天就来
He might even come today.
他知道我会在这里待到5点42分
He knows I'll be here until 5.42.
罗拔，你觉得你是不是应该忘记他？
Robert, do you think maybe you should forget him?
为什么有人想忘记他们的父亲呢？
Why would anyone want to forget their father?
也许有些父亲值得被遗忘
Maybe some fathers deserve to be forgotten.
你不喜欢你的父亲吗？为什么？
Do you not like your father? Oh why?
我想是因为一旦你成为一个父亲
I suppose because once you're a father,
你就不应该再自私，你知道吗？
you're not supposed to be selfish, you know?
一旦你成为爸爸，那就是一切的首要
Once you're a dad that comes before everything.
而且，因为我一直想要一条狗
And, because I always wanted a dog
而现在他给自己买♥♥了一条
and now he's bought himself one.
哦，拜托
Oh, come on.
没有人告诉我这个
No one told me about this.
不，我不做这个，不
No, I'm not doing this. No.
罗拔！
Robert!
罗拔！
Robert!
罗拔！
Robert!
罗拔！门卡住了
Robert, the door's stuck.
罗拔！
Robert!
罗拔！
Robert!
搞什么…
What the...
拜托
Please.
下午好，我的名字是罗拔肯德里克
Good afternoon, my name is Robert Kendrick.
罗拔，谢天谢地你还在那里 是我，威基
Robert, thank goodness you're still there. It's me Wicky.
这是谁？
Who is this?
是我，威基，刚刚给你做 蜜桃梅尔巴的那个人
It's me, Wicky, the guy who just made you the peach Melba.
威基？这个名字很奇怪
Wicky? That's a strange name.
那是个绰号♥，所以，无所谓
It's a nickname, so, whatever.
罗拔，我的真名是保罗，好吗？保罗威克斯特德，明白吗？
Robert, my real name's Paul, okay, Paul Wickstead, right?
现在，听着，我被困在楼下的雪柜里
Now, listen, I'm stuck in the freezer downstairs.
这是另一个圣诞笑话吗？
Is this another Christmas joke?
不是，我被困在雪柜里，孩子
No, I'm stuck in the freezer kid.
不是我做的
I didn't do it.
我知道不是你
I know you didn't.
罗拔，听着
Robert, listen,
我需要你下楼来 然后帮我打开雪柜门，好吗？
I need you to come downstairs and open the freezer door for me alright?
但是，我没有得到允许可以越过红线
But, I don't have permission to cross the red line.
该死，好吧，罗拔，听着 你有我的允许
Fuck, okay, Robert listen, you have my permission.
但是，我需要艾伯托的允许
But, I need Alberto's permission.
但是，他已经去世了，你还记得吗？
But, he's dead, do you remember?
所以，我需要像你一样得到警♥察♥的允许
So, I need the police's permission like you got.
艾伯托总是告诉我，罗拔，不要越过…
Alberto always told me, Robert, no cross the...
罗拔？
Robert?
罗拔？
Robert?
你还在那里吗？
Are you still there?
对不起
I'm sorry.
艾伯托是我的朋友
Alberto was my friend.
艾伯托总是告诉我不要越过红线
Alberto always told me not to cross the red line,
所以，现在他已经走了 我必须尊重他的愿望
so, I must respect his wish now that he has gone.
安息吧，艾伯托
RIP Alberto.
不…罗拔！
No, no, no, no, no, Robert!
罗拔？
Robert?
罗拔？
Robert?
罗拔！
Robert!
罗拔！
Robert!
罗拔！
Robert!
下午好
Good afternoon.
嘿，罗拔，你还在那里，又是我
Hey, Robert, you're still there. It's me again.
我不喜欢大喊大叫 所以我现在让你声音小了一点
I don't like shouting, so, I've made you quieter now.
是的…好吧，我对此感到抱歉，听着
Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm sorry about that, listen,
我真的需要你的帮助 才能从这个雪柜里出来
I am gonna need your help to get out of this freezer,
因为它现在真的开始名副其实了
because it really is starting to live up to it's reputation now.
但是，我没有得到允许 可以越过红线，就是这样
But, I don't have permission to cross the red line and that is that.
罗拔，我这里遇到麻烦了，兄弟
Robert, I'm in trouble here mate.
对不起，罗拔，罗比，罗拔图
Sorry, Robert, Robbie, Roberto.
请叫我罗拔
Robert please.
是的，抱歉
Yeah, sorry.
罗拔，你有自己的手♥机♥吗？
Robert, do you have your own phone?
是的，我有，但是我不常用
Yes, I do, but, I don't use it very often.
电♥话♥公♥司♥一直打电♥话♥问我
The phone company keeps ringing me to ask
想不想要更多数据，但我一直告诉他们
if I want more data but I keep telling them
我已经有足够的数据，非常感谢你
I have quite sufficient data, thank you very much.
罗拔？
Robert?
你知道芬兰的人可以无限使用数据吗？
You know people in Finland have unlimited access to data?
我才不在乎呢
I couldn't give a shit.
对不起…罗拔，别挂断…
Sorry, sorry, Robert don't hang up, don't hang up,
别挂断
don't hang up.
罗拔
Robert,
我其实不在乎芬兰的手♥机♥费率
I don't really care about tariffs for phones in Finland,
但如果你想谈论这个
but if you wanna talk about it,
我出了雪柜之后我们可以尽情谈论