政坛混战（2012）

Goddamn it, what have you been doing with these boys?
他们都是在家上学的
They're homeschooled.
他们胃口好
They're good eaters.
还有49天
We have 49 days
本区的70万居民
before this district of 700,000
就要决定是否支持你
people decides if they like you or not.
你现在的支持率是26%
Right now, your likability is at 26 percent.
焦点小组形容你"奇怪"
The focus group words that come up about you are "Odd",
"黏糊糊" "可能是塞尔维亚人"
"Clammy," "Probably Serbian."
习惯了
That's an old one.
"像旅行社广♥告♥里的侏儒"
"He looks like the Travelocity gnome."
什么
What?
你要真想帮这个区 马蒂
If you really wanna help this district,
首先要做的就是竞选成功
the first thing you have to do, Marty, is win.
你真想帮这个区 我爱我家
I do wanna help the district. I love my home.
只是 一切都太突然了
It's just all happening so fast.
我相信卡姆·布雷迪能被打败
Listen, I think Cam Brady can be beaten.
但我不相信你相信这一点
But I don't believe you believe that.
你知道吗
You know what?
我给你父亲打电♥话♥
I'm just gonna call your dad
告诉他你没有从政的能力
and tell him you don't have the rocks for this.
把电♥话♥收起来 瓦特雷先生
You put your phone away, Mr. Wattley.
也许很难相信
This might be hard for you to believe,
但我的内心充满了斗志
but this dog has a ton of fight in him.
充满斗志
A ton of fight.
一旦我认定了什么 我会日夜追寻
And when I get a scent, I hunt, brother. I hunt all day long.
所以别再说那样的泄气话了
So don't you ever insinuate anything like that again.
叫我提姆就好
Call me Tim.
全面改造 从头到脚
Complete makeover, head to toe.
不不不 不要粉的 换个黑色的
No, no, no, not the pink one. Let me have a black one.
好像女人内♥裤♥一样可爱啊
It looks as precious as girl's panties.
更年轻 更健壮 更智慧
Younger, stronger, smarter.
再来一次
Hit him again.
别这样 很痒好吗
Don't do that, it tickles, okay?
把沙滩上的脏东西清理掉 零钱不用找
Why don't you clean this crap up off the beach? Keep the change.
像他那样说 妈的
Like Burt. Goddamn it.
把沙滩上的脏东西清理掉
Why don't you clean this crap up off the beach?
再来一次
Again.
把沙滩上的脏东西清理掉
Why don't you clean this crap up off the beach?
-把这个扔了 -我东西放哪儿啊
- Get rid of this. - That's where I keep my things.
提气 把气提起来 像这样
No, up. I need you up, like this.
感到不同了吗
See the difference?
像我这样 提气 提气
Here. Watch me. Up. Up.
得瑟点 像个男人
Swag. There you go. Like a man.
好的 米琪
Right, Mitch.
没有 我正在外面竞选哪
No, I'm out campaigning right now.
我没有不重视这事 别开玩笑了
I'm not taking this thing too lightly. Heh, give me a break.
你了解我的
You know me better than that.
我在 我正在接见客人
No, I'm meet... I'm literally meeting people.
稍等 我要和这人握握手
Hold on, I gotta shake this guy's hand.
幸会幸会 先生
Nice to meet you too, sir.
好了 继续
Okay, I'm back.
第14区议员辩论 今晚举♥行♥
新潮销♥售♥员卖♥♥给我西西里香肠[绕口令]
Sassy salesman sold me Sicilian sausages.
选举前5周
言辞简单
Keep it simple and
把问题引到排练过的论点上去
direct questions to the talking points rehearsed.
内♥裤♥太紧了
My boy Spanx are too tight.
紧就对了 收腹
They're supposed to be. Now suck in.
你台上和卡姆握完手先别松手
When you meet Cam at center stage, shake hands but don't let go.
拉近他 保持微笑
Pull him close, maintain a smile,
说些打击他的话
and then lay some trash talk on him.
定下基调
Set the tone.
好的
Right.
-准备好了吗 -好了好了好了
- You jacked? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm jacked, yeah.
-你现在准备好了 -我现在准备好了
- Now you're jacked. - Now I'm jacked. Okay.
一边竞选美国小姐
Must be hard running for Miss America
一边在中学教书一定很辛苦吧
and teaching high school at the same time.
议员先生 我已经结婚了
Right. Uh, congressman, I'm married.
-我也是 -那太好了
- I'm married too. - Good.
看来我们有相同的分母啊
Looks like we got a common denominator.
这是个数学玩笑
It's a math joke.
-打扰一下 女士 -没关系
- Excuse me, darling. - It's good.
-不介意我和他聊一会吧 -当然
- Mind if I talk to my man here? - Sure.
-那真是太好了 谢谢 -她很迷人
- I appreciate it. Thank you. - She's very nice.
我刚听说了一件有趣的事
I just found out some interesting news.
据说摩奇兄弟给马蒂·哈金斯的
Evidently the Motch brothers put a million bucks
政♥治♥行动委员会投资一百万
in Marty Huggins' political action committee.
马蒂·哈金斯有政♥治♥行动委员会
Marty Huggins has a political action committee?
显然是的 叫拥抱政行会
Evidently. Yeah, it's called HugPAC.
我来时看见他了
And I saw him on the way in.
穿的西服上百 发型值5美元
They got him in a hundred-dollar suit and gave him a $5 haircut.
看来他们浪费了一百万
Looks like they just pissed away a million dollars.
-发型怎么样 -坚定
- How's my hair? - Strong.
太坚定了
Too strong.
晚上好 欢迎候选人马蒂·哈金斯
Good evening, everyone. Please welcome candidate Marty Huggins,
和卡姆·布雷迪议员
and Congressman Cam Brady.
亲爱的 你看上去棒极了
Yeah, baby. Looking good, baby.
-很高兴见到你 -幸会
- Good to see you. - How you doing?
我不得不说 朋友
Hate to break it to you, friend,
你的气球就要爆了
but your balloon's getting ready to pop.
气球里装满了你的臭屁
And that balloon's full of your own butt toots.
要玩口水战吗
Are you trying to trash-talk me?
或许你该想好
Might wanna decide whether
要买♥♥卫生纸还是须后水
you're gonna buy toilet paper or aftershave.
-因为你的脸跟屁♥股♥一样 -天啊
- Because your face is like a butt. - Oh, my God.
-你不会玩口水战吧 -我会
- You don't know how to trash-talk, do you? - I do know how to.
我示范给你看看怎么样
Let me give you some trash talk, okay?
你知道你妈
You know what the difference
和洗衣机的区别吗
between your mama and a washing machine is?
我往洗衣机里倒了一锅之后
When I dump a load in a machine,
它不会连着三个星期纠缠我
machine doesn't follow me around for three weeks.
换你了
Now you go.
你该在马桶里洗澡 我想开始辩论
You should take a bath in a toilet. I just wanna do the debate.
不行 换我了
No. Now I go.
你像个粪坨
You're such a little turd
你坐在沙子上 猫都想把你埋起来
that when you sit in sand, cats try to bury you.
你的嘴可真脏
You have a very vulgar mouth.
拜托放开我的手
Please let go of my hand.
我想让你摸摸我的蛋
I want you to reach down and touch my nuts.
-住手 -蛋的手感是这样的 摸吧
- Stop. - That's what nuts feel like. Touch it.
-我不想摸 -摸到没有
- I don't want to. - Let me see if you got any.
先生们 先生们 可以开始了吗
Sirs. Sirs, we'd love to get started.
-我可以了 -我也是
- I'd love to start. - Me too.
-提姆 -给他垫一下
- Tim. - Get him something to stand on.
谢谢
Thank you.
第一个问题是给现任议员的
Our first question will go to the incumbent.
您将如何创造第14区的就业机会
How would you bring jobs back to the 14th district?
好问题 感谢你提这个问题
That's a great question, Carl. Thank you for asking it.
这是我每天早晨醒来想到的第一件事
It's the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning,
也是我每晚睡觉前思考的最后一件事
and it's the last thing I think of when I go to bed.
就业对北卡罗来纳州来说是什么
Jobs in North Carolina mean what?
是强大的北卡罗来纳州
A strong North Carolina.
强大的北卡罗来纳州就是强大的美国
And a strong North Carolina means a strong America.
朋友们 我们就该这么做
And that, my friends, is how we're gonna do it.
应该这么做 宝贝儿
It's how we do, baby.
我们就该这么做
It's how we do.
我投给你票 卡姆
You've got my vote, Cam.
哈金斯先生 您有1分钟反驳时间
Mr. Huggins, you have one minute for a rebuttal.
跟排练时一样
Just like we rehearsed.
卡姆·布雷迪给出的答案像蜻蜓点水
Cam Brady just gave you the old D.C. Dip and Twirl.
根本没有正面回答