政坛混战（2012）

- What is he doing? - Sort of.
没有你父亲的陪伴一定很难
Must be tough having your dad not be around that much, you know?
他说什么呢 我陪他太多啊
What is he talking about? I'm around too much.
我可以做你♥爸♥爸
I could be your dad.
-你可以叫我"爸爸" -不要
- You can call me "Dad". - No.
-没事 试试 -不 可别这样
- Go ahead, try. - No, don't do it.
-不 我才是你♥爸♥爸 -来吧
- No, I'm your daddy. - Go ahead.
-爸爸 -我呸
- Dad. - Oh, shit.
很好 还不错吧
There you go. That wasn't bad.
我是马蒂·哈金斯
I'm Marty Huggins,
很抱歉地同意这条消息
and I regretfully approve this message.
爱你 小卡姆.
Love you, Cam Jr..
马蒂·哈金斯
Marty Huggins,
卡姆·布雷迪无法比拟的父亲
the father Cam Brady will never be.
要淡定好吗 深呼吸
Just take it easy. All right? Just take a deep breath.
现在 我们该想想补救措施
Now, we ought to think about how we gonna get back, okay?
我们不能让情绪蒙蔽判断力 对吗
But we can't let emotion cloud our judgment, okay?
我们要理智 你想怎么做
We gotta think logically here. Now, what do you wanna do?
我要睡他老婆
I'm gonna fuck his wife.
好 不对 你不能这么做 不行
Great. No. No, you can't do that. No, no, no.
我要睡他老婆 还要把视频播出去
I'm gonna fuck his wife, and I'm gonna go put it on television.
不行 万万不可
No. Okay, you definitely can't do that.
前一半 说不定
First part, maybe,
但后一半 万万不行
but the second part, definitely not.
-是吗 -是的
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
你让我儿子喊你"爸爸" 我睡你老婆
You get my son to call you "Daddy", I fuck your wife.
-就这样 -就这样
- That's the deal? - That is the deal.
你在指什么东西
What are you pointing at?
装满馊主意的书吗
Got a book of bad ideas?
装满好主意的书 第一条
I got a book of good ideas. That's the first one.
让我儿子喊你"爸爸"
Get my son to call you "Daddy",
翻下一页 写着 "睡你老婆"
turn the page, it says, "Fuck your wife."
好吧 我们好好谈谈
Okay, let's talk about this.
欢迎继续收看"价格正确"
Welcome back, everybody, to The Price Is Right.
主播 下面该谁了
George Gray, who's next, please?
来了
Coming.
布雷迪议员
Congressman Brady.
马蒂去旅游局访问 所以...
Marty's down at the tourism office, so....
我真的很喜欢你的头发
I really like your hair.
很像名主播啊
It's very Katie Couric.
谢谢
Thank you.
我能进屋打个电♥话♥吗
May I come in and use your phone?
卡尔·雅德
Cal Tjader.
掀起桑巴萨尔萨爵士热
Best known for starting the samba-salsa jazz craze.
可惜 四十多年未被格兰梅奖认可
Yet sadly, was not recognized for a Grammy for over 40 years.
我认为悲剧就是一个人的完美不被赏识
I find it tragic when someone isn't recognized for perfection.
很有趣
That's very interesting.
说说你吧
Tell me something about you.
我喜欢猫头鹰
Oh, uh, well, I love owls.
我收集他们 当然 不是真的猫头鹰
I collect them, you know. Not real ones, of course.
但我有一些陶土或瓷器猫头鹰
But I got some porcelain or maybe china ones.
有些猫头鹰脾气不好
There's some pretty grumpy ones too
有着大眉毛 就像...
that kind of have those big eyebrows, like...
天啊 我知道你说的是什么样
Oh, God, I know exactly what you're talking about.
我得让这些小家伙们出去
I'm gonna let these little fellas out.
过来 小家伙们 快来
Come on, little buddies. Come on.
滚蛋 小畜生
Get out, you little fuckers.
一群小可爱 不是吗
They are tiny little munchkin butts, aren't they?
都是马蒂的狗 他们不听我的
They're Marty's dogs. They don't listen to me.
我不太明白了 我觉得你很迷人
Well, I don't understand that, because I find you fascinating.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
米姿 我直说吧
Mitzi, I'm gonna cut to the chase.
我一直对你有感觉
I've had feelings for you.
-我们要那个吗 -不知道
- Are we doing what I think we're doing? - I don't know.
我跟你说
I tell you right now,
我的心跳得就像烘干机里的电♥话♥本
my heart is beating like a phone book in a dryer,
我好担心接下来发生的事
and I'm so afraid of what's about to happen.
会发生什么
What's about to happen?
就这个
This.
我想让你在后面搞我的时候
I want you to put my head in the freezer
把我的头放在冰箱里
while you do me from behind.
-等等 冰箱会不会太高 -有凳子
- Hold on, hold on. Isn't the freezer too high? - I'll get a stool!
别急 别急 米姿 别急
Easy. Easy, Mitzi. Easy.
接下来的消息
The following commercial is rated TV-MA
仅供成人收看
for mature audiences.
马蒂·哈金斯都没法
Marty Huggins can't
照顾好自己的妻子
even take care of his own wife,
只有靠我了
so I did.
那晚 马蒂妻子的票给投了又投啊
That night, Marty's wife voted. Multiple times.
好样的 干得漂亮
Good work. Attaboy.
让这里水水的
Getting juicy in here.
这不是游戏
Come on, this isn't a game.
我是卡姆·布雷迪
I'm Cam Brady,
我挑逗地同意这条信息
and I seductively approve this message.
重磅炸♥弹♥ 快让它播出
Boom. There it is. Let's get this out ASAP.
卡姆 你不能这么做
Cam, you can't do that.
为什么 因为不是你的主意吗
Why? Because it wasn't your idea?
不是 因为这是色情片
No. No, because it's porn.
-我来工作不是为这个 -是吗
- I didn't sign up for this. - Oh, really?
你为什么工作呢 米琪
What did you sign up for, Mitch?
你是想参加
The Big Fat Pussy Who's
害怕成功的婊♥子♥俱乐部吗
Too Afraid to Do What It Takes to Win Club?
你冷静点 你在对我发疯
You gotta calm down. You're going crazy on me.
-我拒绝失败就是疯吗 -我想是的
- I'm crazy because I refuse to lose? - I think so.
该死 米琪 该死
Goddamn it, Mitch! Goddamn it!
我已经踏上不归之路
My feet are taped to the bicycle on this one!
为了赢我会不择手段
I will do anything it takes to win.
哪怕那意味着欺骗
Even if it means lying!
或者打伤他人
Or physically hurting someone!
淡定 淡定 把那个放下
Easy, easy, easy. Put that down.
或者用烧热的铁丝衣架
Or branding myself with a coat hanger
煨成V字[胜利] 给我自己烙个印记
in the shape of a V for "Victory."
我懂了 抱歉 各位
I get it. Okay, I'm sorry, everybody.
甚至是在桑拿时听"金属乐队"
Even if it means listening to Metallica in a sauna,
他劳累过度
He's a little stressed out.
一边坐俯卧撑 莎娜裸体坐我背上
while I do push-ups with a naked Shana on my back.
-好了 -很疯狂吗
- Come on, man. - Is that crazy?
-是的 -我看起来像个疯子吗
- I think so. - Do I seem like a crazy person?
还是你疯了
Or are you the crazy one?
你该停下来了
You gotta stop it.
坐下
Okay, sit down.
你♥他♥妈♥坐下来 好 深呼吸 好吗
Sit the fuck down right now. Okay. Breathe. Just breathe, okay?
你怎么了 这有点失控了
Now, what is going on with you? This is getting out of hand.
是这样 米琪
Okay, look. Here's the deal, Mitch.
-我刚才有点抓狂 -是的
- I did get a little crazy there. - Yes, you did.
但我得告诉你 这是取胜的砝码
But I gotta tell you, this is what it's gonna take to win.
卡姆 我跟了你8年
Cam, I've been here for eight years with you,
在你身边
by your side.
我们成功过
And we've done some great things.
但我不知道你到底怎么了
But I don't know what the hell's gotten into you.
什么
What?
实话告诉你 我真♥他♥妈♥失望
And to be honest with you, I'm pretty goddamn disappointed.
对不起
I'm sorry.
行啊 那就离开 快走
Okay, well, get out of here. Go.
任何人都能胜任你的工作
Anyone can do your job.
任何人
Anyone.
你 叫什么
You. What's your name?
杰森 先生
Uh, Jason, sir.
我刚来的 我是实习生
I just started here. I'm an intern.
但我大学主修政♥治♥学
But I'm a poli sci major in college.
杰森 你是我竞选经理了