政坛混战（2012）

Mrs. Yao?
你知道我最喜欢亚洲孩子哪一点吗
Do you know what I like most about your Asian boys?
他们尊重长辈而且听话
They respect their elders and do as they're told.
你说了这么多年
You have been saying for years
希望马蒂成为真正的男子汉
how you want Marty to stand up and be his own man.
现在他做到了 你应该感到骄傲
Well, he's finally done it. You should be proud of him.
-你说什么 -哦 对了
- What did you say? - Oh, right. Uh
你儿子马蒂成了男子汉
Your son Marty be standing up like a man
他爸爸应该支持他
but his pappy gots to support him.
真是废话
This is bullshit.
选举日落下帷幕
Election day winding down.
北卡罗来纳州第14选区最后结束
North Carolina's 14th district one of the last to call it.
今天竞选人马蒂·哈金斯
And today opponent Marty Huggins
干了最疯狂的事情
did the craziest stunt to date.
马蒂·哈金斯承诺
Marty Huggins, he actually promised
要当最诚实的议员
to be the most honest congressman out there.
他敞开了他的人生 这很有效
Listen, guys, he opened his life up, and it's worked.
他的支持率上升了
He's up in the polls.
全国上下都在等待结果
The whole country is still waiting on the result.
获胜者已经出炉
Ahem. We have a winner,
由州选举委员会认证
as verified by the State Election Board.
选举结果如下
And the results were as follows.
卡姆·布雷迪90362票
With 90,362 votes, Camden Brady.
马蒂·哈金斯的票数是
And now for the results for Marty Huggins:
80365票
80,365 votes.
卡姆·布雷迪获胜
Cam Brady wins.
太棒了
All right. Whoo!
怎么可能
How can that be?
选后调查 选民投票完毕后自愿做的调查
选后调查时我们还多了十万票呢
We were up 10,000 votes in the exit polls.
怎么会这样
How can that be?
摩奇环球国际
现在谁来辛勤工作啦
Who's taking care of business now?
-谢谢 -我们成功了 宝贝
- Thank you. - We did it, baby. We did it.
我们永远并肩作战
It's you and me against the world forever.
卡姆·布雷迪
Cam Brady!
-谢谢 非常感谢 -干得好
- Thank you. Thank you so much. - Well done.
抱歉 借过 谢谢 谢谢
Pardon me. Excuse me, thank you. Thank you.
-米姿 -卡姆
- Mitzi. - Cam.
对不起
Sorry.
马蒂
Hey, Marty.
干嘛这么沮丧 你竞选得很棒啊
Why are you so upset? You ran a hell of a campaign.
你真的很有天赋
I mean, you got a real talent for this.
你还不懂吗 卡姆
You still don't get it, do you Cam?
我不是为了什么事业
I didn't do this for some career.
我是因为我爱我的家乡我想帮忙
I did this because I love my home and I wanted to help out.
就像你拆掉那个破烂不堪的攀爬架
Just like you did when you took down that jaggedy jungle gym
好不让别的小孩像我一样被割到
so other kids wouldn't get cut like me.
-你也被割了 -是的
- It got you too. -Yeah.
我记得那个攀爬架
I remember that jaggedy jungle gym.
-天啊 -看这里
- Ow. - Look at this.
不
Oh, no.
医生说这是他见过最糟糕的
Doctors said it was the worst playground accident
游乐场事故
they'd ever seen.
我在那上面挂了两个晚上
And I just dangled there for two straight nights.
我的老天爷
Oh, good Lord.
但四年级的时候我投票给你了
But back then, in the fourth grade, I voted for you.
知道为什么吗
You know why?
你是人♥民♥的声音
Because you were a voice of the people.
但那时我们都是小孩
But that's when we was kids.
我想这些 这才是现在的世界
I guess this is the, the way of the world now.
来吧 卡姆 要走了
Come on, Cam, we gotta go.
得有人说出来
It had to be said.
-穿上裤子 亲爱的 -好的
- Pull up your pants, honey. - Okay.
风云人物来了
Here he is, the man of the hour.
我很荣幸帮他竞选
It's been a pleasure running his campaign.
国会议员卡姆·布雷迪
Congressman Cam Brady.
我们爱你 卡姆
We love you, Cam.
谢谢 非常感谢
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks.
我赢了 这很棒
So I won. That's great.
今天马蒂·哈金斯
Marty Huggins did
在电视上很疯狂
a crazy thing on TV today.
他说了实话
He told the truth.
现在该我了
So here I go.
我是个很好的政客
I am a great politician.
没错
Yeah.
-但我是个糟糕的议员 -不
- But I am a horrible congressman. - No.
等一等 听我说完
Now, hold on, hear me out.
我几乎不在国会投票 我从不看议案
I hardly ever vote in Congress, and I never read the bills.
我在华盛顿时时就只跟旧情人聊天
When I'm in D.C., I mostly Facebook old girlfriends
玩梦幻冰球
play fantasy hockey.
跟朋友聊天 拼字游戏 画画
Words with Friends, Scrabble, Draw Something.
我只是爱做卡姆·布雷迪议员
I just enjoy being Congressman Cam Brady
我害怕失去它 怕得要死
and I was scared to death of losing that.
所以我拿了摩奇兄弟的钱
So I took a bunch of money from the Motch brothers
说服自己把第14区
and convinced myself that
卖♥♥给中国是个好主意
selling the 14th district to China was a good idea.
他们只在乎利润
All they care about is profits.
不在乎你我 不在乎美国
Not you, not me, not America.
我妻子今天来的唯一原因
The only reason why my wife is here tonight
是因为他们出钱请她来
is because they paid her to be here.
我想我们该走了 借过
Jesus, I think we should take our leave. Excuse me.
-他是个骗子 -他疯了
- He's a liar. - He's a nutbag.
别碰我 我们以前都是陆战队的
Don't touch me. We're both ex-Marines.
让开 让开不然我抽你
Get away now. Get away or l'll start slapping people.
你们知道这屋里有个人
But do you know which individual in this room
拒绝过摩奇兄弟吗
stood up to the Motch brothers and said no?
马蒂·哈金斯 这混♥蛋♥谁也不怕
Marty Huggins. That son of a bitch fears no man.
他才应该当你们的议员
He should be your congressman.
我知道你们在想 他是个怪咖
Sure, I know what you're thinking: He's a weirdo.
我常奇怪那个"信不信由你"节目
I've often wondered why the folks from Ripley's Believe It or Not!
为什么不把他逮出来做个长♥期♥展览
haven't broken into his house and kidnapped him for a permanent display.
但是我想说 他是个好人
But I'll tell you this: He's one of the good ones,
我也开始喜欢他了
and I've actually grown fond of him.
所以我宣布推出竞选
So with that, I'd like to announce my withdrawal from this election
恭喜新议员马蒂·哈金斯
and congratulate Congressman Marty Huggins.
上来吧 马蒂
Come on up here, Marty.
老天爷
Goddamn.
马蒂 马蒂 马蒂
Marty! Marty! Marty!
你确定吗
You sure about this?
趁我没改变主意快上去
Get on up there before I change my mind.
非常感谢
Thanks so much.
前一份钟才脱掉裤子
One minute you got your pants down
后一份钟就成了美国国会议员
and the next minute you're a U.S. Congressman.
我想一般都是反过来的
It's usually the other way around, I guess.
我很感激卡姆·布雷迪
I'd like to thank Cam Brady for his intestinal fortitude ...
有这个勇气
for doing what he just did.
我想告诉第14区
I want the 14th district to know
我绝不会把你们卖♥♥给中国
that you will not be sold to China
巴西 加拿大 或是其他国家
to Brazil to Nova Scotia or any other country.
-卡姆 -米琪
- Hi, Cam. - Hey, Mitch.
这是我这辈子见过最伟大的行为了
That was the greatest gesture I've ever seen in my life.
-值得名垂青史 -谢谢
- That was book-worthy. - Thank you.
我希望以后能再合作
I'd really like to work together again someday.
我也很希望
Well, nothing would please me more.
说好了
It's a deal.
希望你不要介意 你看来很棒
By the way, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but you look great.
我又开始喝酒了
I started drinking again.
我要结束夏时制
And I want to end daylight savings time.
我讨厌天黑得太早
I hate when it gets dark early.
华盛顿 听好了
Washington, D.C., I have a message for you:
我带着扫帚来的 知道为什么吗