不良教育（2015）

（阿姆斯特丹）
谁要奶酪？ 乔，雷姆·多戈
Who wanted cheese? Joe. Rem Dogg.
- 没有巧克力酱？ - 没有
- No Nutella? - No Nutella.
对吧，培根？
Right, bacon?
我要哭了，贾斯汀·比伯签名了
I'm gonna cry. Justin Bieber signed the visitors' book.
听着K班，如果不闭嘴你们就可以 跟喜力工厂说再见了
Class K, if you don't shut up, you can wave goodbye to the Heineken factory.
- 她是不是长得像布丽吉特·琼斯 - 不，她被纳粹处死了
- Was she like Bridget Jones? - No, she was persecuted by the Nazis.
给你，艾比
Here you go, Downton Abbey.
柯利奥，你看，我刚在威克先生的 卷饼里加了迷幻蘑菇
Cleo, check it out. I just put some magic mushrooms in Mr Wickers' crepe.
走开
Move, man.
- FML，这句台词一点都不可爱 - 插队？
- FML, this line is not cute. - Queue jump?
雷姆·多戈g，我们又没用你的轮椅
Rem Dogg, we're not using your wheelchair
来插过哈西德派犹太人 去看安妮·弗兰克的展览
to queue barge Hasidic Jews into an Anne Frank exhibition.
对不起
Sorry.
病的再重一点
Look more ill.
伙计们，在我们进去之前，请大家 表现出一点尊重
Now, guys, before we go in, please for once can you just be respectful.
金，我找到安妮了
Jing... I've found Anne.
那是蜡像
That's a waxwork model.
先生？
Sir?
先生？
Sir?
你没事吧？
Are you okay?
快点，阿宝，安妮要讲话了
Hush, Po, Anne's trying to speak.
她想回家
She wants to go home.
叫警♥察♥！站住！
Call the Police! Stop!
（主演：玛丽·恩菲尔德）
（主演：马修·霍恩）
我们会成功的
We're gonna make it.
片名：不良教育
（一年后）
苏珊，我在最后一次开会中 讨论过这个了
Susan, I think I discussed this in the last meeting.
拉响强♥奸♥警报后我们都有点不舒服
We are all a little uncomfortable being called to order by a rape alarm.
我们的孩子不会再跟那个小丑 参加任何郊游活动
Our children are not going on another school trip with that clown.
威克s先生向我们保证这次 实地考察有很高的学术价值
Mr Wickers assures me that this field trip is of great academic value.
他们要去拉斯维加斯
They're going to Las Vegas!
- 对他们的数学有好处 - 还有法国
- Great for their maths. - And French.
- 他们要见席琳·迪翁 - 我们都受够了那个滑稽演员
- They're seeing Celine Dion. - We are all sick of that buffoon
总被他爸爸护着
being protected by his father...
他妈妈也向我保证过
Or so his mother assured me.
- 他的炮♥友♥ - 这说的真搞笑
- ...his sexual playmate... - Odd choice of words.
- 还有校长 - 他的僚机，朋友
- ...and the headmaster. - His wingman. Home slice.
- 另一个妈妈的兄弟 - 开玩笑
- Brother from another mother. - A joke!
听着，他是不完美，但是
Look, he isn't perfect, but...
阿尔菲·威克斯真的是个完美的老师
Alfie Wickers is a truly wonderful teacher.
永远的K班，嗯？
Class K forever, yeah?
真可爱
It's so cute.
别扯，你要是画鸡♥巴♥和蛋蛋 我就再也不给你买♥♥烟了
If you do a cock and balls, I'll never buy you cigarettes ever again.
你知不知道这会有多疼
Have you got any idea how much this is gonna hurt?
疼痛只是暂时的，乔，但做个 彻底的混♥蛋♥能持续永远，给我画
Pain is temporary, Joe. Being an absolute badass lasts forever. Ink me.
- 你确定你可以继续？ - 对
- Are you sure you're good to carry on? - Yeah.
我有办法了
I've got it.
为什么不给阿尔菲一个 为自己辩护的机会？
Why don't we give Alfie the chance to defend himself?
我们可以现在就去拜访他
We could pay him a visit right now.
真是个好主意
What a terrific idea.
那么，我们刚讲到 苏格兰第一次独♥立♥战争
So, we were looking at the First War of Scottish Independence.
你们知道那是什么意思
And you know what that means.
课堂战争！
It's Class Wars!
好，攻占斯特林城♥堡♥
So, it is the siege of Stirling Castle!
- 1304年7月20日 - 干得好，伙计
- 20th of July, 1304. - Nice, mate.
英国人用了什么战术 打败的苏格兰人？
And what tactic did the English use to defeat the Scots?
军事封锁，他们切断了 敌人的补给线
Military blockade. They cut off their enemy's supply lines.
正确，那么，在休息期间 我用你们的书包把你们封锁了
Correct. So, during break, I went through your bags blockading you.
- 我切断了你们的水，食物 - 我的薄荷糖
- I cut off your water, your food... - My Pepperami!
- 还有你们的通讯 - 狡猾的贱♥人♥
- And your communication. - Sneaky bitch!
我让你们别无选择，只能放下武器投降
Giving you no option but to lay down your weapons and surrender.
加加林在哪？
Where's Gagarin?
自♥由♥！
Freedom!
妈妈
Mum!
这是个学习的地方，威克s先生
This is a place of learning, Mr Wickers.
- 不是风云城 - 噢，这比喻真好
- Not Takeshi's Castle. - Oh, great reference.
- 但，妈妈，我们在学习 - 约瑟夫，别帮他说话
- But, Mum, we are learning. - Joseph, stop defending him.
他是学校里最大的孩子
He's the biggest child in the school.
噢，看在上帝的份上 这东西怎么关掉？
Oh, for God's sake, how do you switch this thing off?
- 呃，苏珊 - 别叫我苏珊，学习
- Um, Susan... - Don't 'Susan' me! Thank you.
肯定有个开关，啊，在这里
There's got to be a switch somewhere. Ah, here we are.
就跟那可怜的仓鼠一样 你的命都吊在那上面了
Just like that hamster, you're up to your neck in it.
所以，对不起，阿尔弗雷多 家长们不愿为维加斯执行付钱
So, I'm sorry, Alfredo, the parents just won't pay for the Vegas trip.
我们可以筹款，或者等等 学校没有旅行奖学金吗
We'll do a fundraiser. Or wait, doesn't the school have a travel bursary?
曾经有旅行奖学金
Had a travel bursary.
几年前我投资过一个 艺术方面的储蓄基金
A few years back, I invested that particular nest egg in art.
那太好了，艺术品升值了奶妈耳朵
Well, great. Art famously goes up in value.
- 他们其实一文不值 - 好吧，那我付钱
- They're literally worthless. - Fine. Then I'll pay.
真的，从我的工资里扣 我的孩子们应该进行这次旅行
Seriously, take it out of my salary. My kids deserve that trip.
你要付钱供你全班进行 11000英里往返旅行
You're gonna pay for your class to fly an 11,000 mile roundtrip
在拉斯维加斯过1星期？
to spend a week in Las Vegas?
谁想去康沃尔？
Who wants to go to Cornwall?
- 康沃尔是什么地方 - 是个小镇，仙黛尔
- What the hell is Cornwall? - It's a county, Chantelle.
- 但那在国外，对吧 - 不，是英国小镇
- But it's abroad, right? - No. A county in England.
秋林山地，走私者的小湾
Rolling hills, smugglers' coves...
狗屁，我才不要旅行6小时 就为了站在田里看农民
I ain't travelling 6 hours to stand in a field watching some bait farmer
把羊赶紧笼子里
wank off sheeps into a bucket.
我忘了提还有农业实践
An agricultural practice I'm unaware of.
我们必须进行考试后旅行 这是必须的仪式
We have to go on a post-exam trip. It's a rite of passage.
先生，你参加GCSE考试后旅行过吗
Did you go on one, sir, after your GCSEs?
对，跟伙计们嗨了一把
Yeah. Shagaluf with the lads.
我发过誓要保密，但你们 肯定猜得到我们要去哪
I'm sworn to secrecy but I'm sure you can guess what we got up to.
你们坐在布灵顿俱乐部 跟一群人比谁的鸡♥巴♥更长
You sat in a villa with the Bullingdon Club lugeing port off each other's dicks.
不，康沃尔会很棒的，听我说
Cornwall is gonna be insane. And get this...
我读书时最好的朋友，阿提库斯·霍伊 要在那里举办盛大的家庭派对
my best friend from school, Atticus Hoye, is throwing a house party down there.
我说的是风情酒吧，坐该死的
I'm talking pop up tiki bar, fairground rides...
南多汽车露天游♥行♥
a frickin' Nando's van.
好
Yes!
阿提库斯？你还真会说
Atticus? Man, you're posh.
什么意思，他只是我的老朋友
How is that posh? He's just my old fencing buddy.
- 你跟他交过手吗 - 当然
- Did you cross swords with him, sir? - Hell, yeah.
我赢得次数更多 还有我看到你在干什么了
I buried my tip into him more times than I... I see what you've done there.
希望你们能开心 真希望我能去
I hope you all have a great time. Wish I could come.
别傻了，你要来的 没有大个子就不算K班了
Don't be silly, you are coming. It's not Class K without the big man.
妈妈绝不会让我去康沃尔的 更别说家庭派对了
Mum will never let me go to Cornwall, or on a house party.
她不会知道的，多亏了这个
She's not gonna know, thanks to this.
我已经用学校的套话写好了 一份假的旅游日志
A fake itinerary I have devised full of lame school trippy shit.
（两周后）
伊甸计划，一些城♥堡♥，一个女修道院
The Eden Project, some castles, a nunnery.
会挺好的
It's gonna be fine.
我打印了家长的联络信息 当地医院的清单
Well, I've printed out parent contact details, a list of local hospitals...
还有关于那个区域复杂的 政♥治♥形势的文章
and some articles on the complex political developments in the region.
那是康沃尔，又不是叙利亚
It's Cornwall, not Syria.
如果你担心水被下毒 可以用这个
And if you're worried about your drink getting spiked, use one of these.
很聪明，我懂了 你不相信乡下人对吗
Very clever. I see. Pop it up the chuffer, do you?
从商人通道走 不要靠近任何农民
Board up the tradesman's entrance. Keep out any randy Corns.
- 这个是盖在瓶子上的 - 这样就懂了
- It goes on top of a bottle. - That makes more sense.
如果旅行出问题 我不会在那保护你的
If this trip goes wrong, I won't be there to protect you.
罗西，不管你信不信 我已经是个大人了
Rosie, believe it or not, I am a grown man
我完全能够照顾自己
and I am perfectly capable of looking after myself.
- 午餐盒 - 级换盒子了
- Lunchbox. - You put in Dunkers.
对
Yep.
再见
Bye.
你好
Konichiwa.
小心点，朋友 记住，这不是单身汉聚会
Now do be careful, compadre. And remember, this is not a stag do.
喂，笨蛋，拿着路上喝？
Oi, willy wanker. One for the road?
你看，老师
Look, sir.
天啊
Oh, dear.
见鬼
Oh, shit.
伙计们，记住，路上发生的 不要带回家
Right, guys, remember, what happens on tour, stays on tour.