超新星（2020）

想象 想象一下我们离开这个城市
Think about... Think about being out of the city.
没有路灯
No streetlights.
嗯 没有光什么
Huh? There's no light...
呃 怎么说来着 光污染
Er, what do you call it? Pollution.
- 山姆 - 那很美 你知道
-Sam... -It's beautiful, you know.
甚至都不需要望远镜
Probably don't even need a telescope out here,
只要出门就行
you can just get out.
只要离开这里 就可以实现了
Just get out there and we'll finish this and, er...
山姆
Sam.
你还记得
Do you remember...
我们刚从医生那回来的第一天
when we came back from the doctor the first day?
当我们知道了真♥相♥ 回到家时
When we found out, when we came home?
我对你说的话吗
And I said something to you?
你记得我说了什么吗
Do you remember what that was?
我告诉你 无论发生什么
I told you no matter what happens,
我都不想我的生活失控
I did not wanna lose control of my life.
我正在失控 现在
I'm losing control. Now.
你认为我们这六个月里会去哪里
Where do you think we're gonna be in six months?
- 我们在一起 - 或者一年内
-Together. -Or a year.
一直在一起
Together. Still.
你认为会是什么样子
What do you think it'll be like?
- 和以前一样 - 不会
-The same. -No.
不会和以前一样的
No. It won't be.
好吧
Okay.
我没告诉你
And I didn't tell you
我打算做的事
about what I've chosen to do
因为即使你知道
because even if you knew about it...
我现在知道了 不是吗
Well, I know now, don't I?
- 对吗 - 嗯
-Don't I? -Mm-hmm.
当他们打电♥话♥谈论音乐会时
When they called about the concert,
我想
I thought that was...
那是个完美的机会
It was the perfect opportunity
因为那时自杀
because then, you could prove
你可以证明你没和我在一起
that you weren't with me when I...
不 不 不
No, no, no, no, no, no.
闭嘴 我们不要谈这个事
Stop, we're not having this conversation.
- 山姆 - 我们来跳舞吧
-Sam. -Let's dance.
山姆
Sam.
我们跳舞吧
Let's dance.
我们都没跳过舞 对吧
We don't dance any more, do we?
- 不 我不想跳 不山姆- 来跳舞 来跳吧
-No, I don't... No, no. Sam. -Let's dance. Let's dance.
来吧 我们还可以跳舞不是吗
Come on, we can still dance, can't we?
没事的
It's okay. Just...
坐下
Sit down.
坐下吧
Sit down. Just sit down.
好
Okay.
你以为我不害怕吗 塔斯克 是吗
Do you think I'm not scared, Tusker? Is that it?
你以为我没有每时每刻都在想
Do you think I don't spend every single moment
当事情变糟糕时我该怎么办吗
thinking about how am I gonna cope when this gets worse?
在你生病后的每时每刻
Every single hour of every day since you got ill,
我脑袋一直在想
that's going round in my head.
没完没了地想
Over, and over, and over.
我足够坚强吗 我能处理好吗
Am I strong enough? Can I do it?
等你不知道时间
Can I live seeing you not knowing what day it is,
不知道我们在哪里
not knowing where we are,
不知道我是谁的时候 我还能活下去吗
not knowing who I am?
我明白 我明白
I know. I know.
我会崩溃吗 我会放弃吗
Or will it break me? Will I just give up?
把你放在养老院
Put you in a fucking home,
每周来看你一次 就这样
visit you once a week. Be done with it.
坐在那里 读你最喜欢的书给你听
Sit there, reading your favourite book to you, knowing you...
你知道我的决定
You know what I've decided.
我很坚强
I'm strong enough.
我会好好的
I'll be okay.
只要我还有呼吸
And as long as there's breath in my body,
我就会照顾你
I will look after you, I will care for you,
给你洗澡 给你拥抱
I will wash you, I will hold you,
给你擦屁♥股♥
I will wipe your fucking ass,
我会尽我所能 让你想起我是谁
I will do my best to remind you who I am,
想起以前我们对彼此意味着什么
and what we meant to each other before all this.
我现在知道了我来这里的原因了
I now think this is why I was put here in the first place.
是为了你
It was for you.
但我很害怕
But I am scared.
非常害怕 我从未跟你说过
I mean, fucking terrified, if you must know. And I never told you that.
所以 世上不是只有你有秘密 塔斯克
So, you're not the only one with secrets, Tusker.
看看这事对你的影响
But look what it's doing to you.
这对你不公平
And that's not fair.
这与公平无关 这是爱
It's not about fair, is it? It's about love.
这样是不是很自私
Is it selfish?
我不想失去你 不想一个人待着
Not to want to lose you? Not to want to be alone?
我不想一个人
I don't wanna be alone.
我知道 我懂
I know that. I know.
但
But...
我快死了
I am dying.
不要让我离开你
Don't let me off the hook!
是我想这么做
I want to do this.
我想和你经历这一切 直到生命结束
I want to see this through, with you, to the end.
这就是我要做的
That's my thing.
这是我唯一能做的了
It's all I've got left.
不 不是 山姆
No, it isn't, Sam.
嗯
Hmm.
要不我就告诉所有人
What if I just tell everyone, then.
要不我站在屋顶大声喊出来
What if I just shout it from the fucking rooftops?
你那时会怎么做
What would you do then?
我们都麻烦了 对吗
We'd all be in trouble, wouldn't we?
我们都会感到内疚
We'd all be guilty.
或者我们开车走 带你离开这里
Or I could just drive away, leave you here.
你做不到 对吧
Well, you couldn't do it then. Could you?
因为没有我 你什么都做不了
Cause you can't do anything without me.
你需要我
You need me.
确实
Exactly.
对
Exactly.
我不想一个人
I don't wanna be alone.
我正在成为一个过客
I'm becoming a passenger.
但我不想做个过客
And I'm not a passenger.
这事让我变成了
This thing is taking me to a place
我讨厌的样子
where I don't want to go.
并且没人能改变
And no one is going to be able to bring me back.
我
And...
也不能
I can't.
不 我做不到
No, I can't do that.
我早知道有事发生
I knew something was going on, all right.
如果我说实话 我早知道了 我只是
If I'm honest, I knew. I just, you know...
你不会和一个人生活好几年
You don't spend all those
却没有注意到这个
years with someone without... without noticing the little...
对 我知道
Yeah. I know.
我什么都不想说
I didn't wanna say anything.
只是不想承认
Just didn't want to admit to myself
你也知道 情况越来越糟了
that you knew it was getting worse too.
有多久了
How long have...
圣诞节 你送了我条狗
Christ, you even got me a dog.
操
Fuck.
山姆你听我说
Sam, you need to listen to me.
我希望人们记住
I want to be remembered...
记住我以前的样子
for who I was,
而不是
but not...
记住我未来要变成的样子
for who I'm about to become.
这是我唯一能控制的事了
That's the only thing I can control.
我就剩下这个愿望了
And that's all I have left.
如果不能实现呢
What if it doesn't work?