杀妻同盟军

你到底是怎么了
What the fuck is wRong with you?
-你好 蒂娜 -你好 罗尼
-Hey, Tina. -Hi, Ron.
这里的人你都认识吗
Do you know everyone here? Is that...
你觉得杀了人我还怎么生活
How do you think I make a living?
我训练了达些人 我现在还在工作呢 老兄
I train all these people. I'm at work right now, bro.
-你训练这些人 -还没有
-You train all these people? -Not yet.
只是在想要怎么开始
That's how it starts.
我做一组俯卧撑 然后坐这里像一个监督员一样
I do a couple push-ups, I sit here in a beater.
他们就像这样"噢嘿 你好 你是教练吗"
They're like, "oh, hey, hi. You're a trainer?"
噢 天啊 我太胖了 我确实需要一个教练
Oh, my god, I'm so fat. I totally needed a trainer.
你知道的 他们给我两百块美金一个小时
Next thing you know, they're paying me two hundred an hour
当他们在做仰卧推举的时候 给他们沏茶就可以了
To, uh, basically teabag them while they bench press.
那你看我有什么问题吗
And there's something wRong with me?
嘿 兄弟 我是一个变♥态♥的人
Hey, man, I'm a pervert. I'm not talking about
我没有说过要杀人
Trying to fucking kill somebody.
噢 你这混♥蛋♥
Oh, shit.
说的好像是我就要杀人了一样
It's not like I'd do it it just...
只是对怎样逃脱处罚感兴趣而已
It's just interesting to think about how you'd get away with it.
仅仅是这些
That's all.
你好啊 爸爸
Hi, daddy.
你好 你好
Hello. Hello.
你敢相信吗 感觉有一年了吧 真不可思议
Can you believe it? Like, it's been a year. It's crazy.
我知道 的确不可思议 对吧
I know. It's crazy. Right?
感觉就像他上个星期才出生呢
It's like he was born last week.
你整天呆在家带小孩的话
Time flies when you're not stuck at home
你会感到时间过得很快
Every day for the baby.
是的 但是这很有趣
Yeah, but...but it's fun.
是的 当爸爸把我们丢在家里的时候
Sure. We have fun when daddy abandons us.
是吧 我们也很有趣
Right? We have fun.
你怎么了 生病了
What's wRong with you? Are you sick?
-没有啊 我很好 -你会传染给我的小孩的
-No, I'm fine. -You make my baby sick, and...
我没有生病
I'm not sick.
该吃蛋糕了 沃德把它包起来
It's cake time, ward. Wrap it up.
大家该吃蛋糕了 所以
It's cake time, guys, so...
-兄弟你到底是怎么了 -什么
-Dude, what the hell? -What?
-她已经疯了 -她只是担心小孩而已
-She's crazy -She's just worried about the baby,
仅此而已
That's all.
-你好啊邻居 -嘿 布鲁斯进展得怎样
-Howdy, neighbor. -Hey, Bruce, how's it going?
-挺好的 -谢谢你的到来啊
-Good. -Thank you for coming.
-谢谢你的邀请 -好的啊
-Thank you for having me. -Yeah.
-不好意思啊 我叫汤姆 -兄弟 很高兴见到你
-I'm sorry. Tom. -Good to see you, man.
-嘿 兄弟你好吗 -罗尼
-Hey, guys. How are you? -Ronnie.
-你见过吉娜了对吧 -是的 是的 很高兴见到你
-You met Geena, right? -Yes, yes. Good to see you.
-我也是 -沃德威胁我
-You too. -Ward keeps threatening
跟你们玩高尔夫球
To take me golfing with you guys.
-下次你去的话叫上我吧 -好 我们会的
-Next time you go out, you gotta let me know. -Yeah. We'll do that.
我学了很多技巧的
I play from the tips.
好的
Okay.
噢
Oh.
蛋糕时间
Yeah, yeah. Cake time.
别弄了这是半颗苯海拉明 他没事的
Stop it. It's half a benadryl. He'll be fine.
-我明白 -我以前也是这样做他会没事的
-I understand that. -I've done it before. He'll be fine.
只是我觉得没必要
I just don't think it's really...
汤姆
Tom?
-你好 -是汤姆吗
-Hello? -Is this Tom?
-是的 -嘿
-Speaking. -Hey.
-嘿 -你不知道我是谁吗
-Hey. -You don't know who this is.
抱歉 我不知道
No, I'm sorry. I don't.
好吧 不久前我们一起
Well, we had a really nice meal together
吃了一顿非常愉快的午餐
A little while ago,
结果是
The result of which was
决定在你的杂♥志♥刊登一篇相对平凡的文章
A fairly bland article in your magazine.
是的 那当然 呃
Yeah, of course. Um...
工作来的
It's work.
-罗宾 罗宾·彼得斯 -我有打断你什么事吗
-Robin? Robin peters? -Am I interrupting something?
没有 你没有打扰到任何东西
No, you're not interrupting anything.
你好啊
Hi. How are you?
事实上我还有点不高兴
A little out of my comfort zone, actually.
我一直在等你给我电♥话♥
I was waiting for you to call me,
但是你却一直都没有打过来
And when the call never came...
呃 好吧 我 我...
Uh, well, I-I, uh...
我觉得 我们之前有过非常愉快的时光
I thought that we had a really nice time together.
我们的确有过愉快的时光 是的 我也非常享受
We did have a nice time. Yeah, I enjoyed it.
-你觉得那是享受吗 -是的 我还很喜欢那种感觉
-You enjoyed it? -I really liked it, actually.
后来你有想过吗
Did you think about it afterwards?
当然啊 是的 我的意思是
Of course. Yeah. I mean, uh...
我以为我们会关系处的很好
I thought that we made a real connection.
是的 我能感觉到这个联♥系♥
Yeah. I felt it. Uh, the connection.
好的 我认为我们应该再见一次面
Well, I think we should see each other again.
我很乐意再次见你
I'd like that... to see you again, yeah.
也许是为了一个更深入的访问
Maybe for a more in-depth interview?
当然要深入一些
Definitely. Something deeper.
这是我的号♥码 周二给我打个电♥话♥吧
This is my cell. Call me on Tuesday.
好的 我会的 我会在周二给你打电♥话♥
Okay. I will. I'll...I'll call you Tuesday.
-再见汤姆 -再见
-Good-bye, Tom. -Good-bye.
汤姆 约了吗
You got a hot date, Tom?
你吓到我了
You scared the shit out of me.
噢 抱歉 你说什么
Oh I'm sorry what'd you say?
约了 周二是吗
A hot date. Tuesday, was it?
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不会责怪你的
I wouldn't blame you.
我没有想过你和吉娜会在一起的
I never thought you and Geena would make it, you know.
她这个人太闷了
She's too, uh, boring and desperate.
并不是说品味不好而是
Not that those are bad qualities, but...
好的 停止 只是工作而已
Okay. Time out. That was work.
你已经变了
You're just different.
不是好的改变
Not good different.
不像我和沃德 我们是变好了
Not like me and ward. We're good different.
我们能走得通只是你知道的
We make it work. But, you know,
也许是因为他不会骗人
Maybe that's because he's not a cheater.
沃德胆小不敢出轨
Ward's too much of a pussy to be a cheater.
但是我怎么知道
But what do I know?
我一直也觉得你不是骗子
I never thought you were a cheater either.
好吧
Okay.
听着 过来
Listen. Come here.
听着
Look...
我也想出出轨
I thought about cheating too.
你知道吗
And you know what?
也许我们已经做到了
Maybe I've already done it.
很有意思对吧
It's fun, right?
秘密电♥话♥
Secret phone calls...
我会在周二去见你的
I'll see you Tuesday...
-我们太像了 -嗯嗯
-We're a lot alike. -Mm-mm.
你和我 汤姆...我们现在就可以做
You and me, Tom... we could do it now.
我们现在就可以出轨
We could cheat now.
也许...也许跟天真的人在一起
Maybe...maybe there's some advantages
是有好处的 就像吉娜和...
To being with people as naive, stupid
我的小沃德一样愚蠢
As Geena and my little ward.
我想知道吉娜对于这个电♥话♥是怎么想的
I wonder what Geena would think of that phone call.
噢
oh
该死的
Oh What the fuck?
该死的
Fuck.
噢 真该死
Oh, fuck.
噢
Oh...
好吧
Okay.
噢 混♥蛋♥
Oh, shit
噢 该死的
Oh, shit
好的 好的
Okay. Okay.
噢 该死的
Oh, shit.
好的
Okay. Okay.