热浴盆时光机2

No, no. You guys, we can't just fuck around.
我们得找凶手
We got to find your murderer.
没那个必要
Or we don't have to do any of that
不如还是去脱衣舞俱乐部吧
and we go check out a strip club.
噢
Oh!
-你在闪烁 -哈 你在闪烁诶
-You flickered. Ah, you're flickering.
我在闪烁...为什么
I flickered... Why am I flickering?
因为你已经面临威胁
By threatening your own existence.
你有在听我刚才讲的吗
Have you listened to anything I've been saying?
一个字也没听
I have not listened to any of it.
天哪 好吧 好吧
God, okay, fine! Fine.
我们来处理这桩尚未发生的白♥痴♥谋杀案
We'll solve my stupid murder, which hasn't happened yet.
干脆还是去脱衣舞俱乐部吧
Or we can just go to a strip club.
噢...
Oh...
够了来吧 该死的谋杀案
All right, fine! The fucking murder thing.
呵 啥也没变
Huh. Nothing's really changed.
我还以为十年后总会有些非同寻常的玩意呢
You'd figure after 10 years, something would be different, right?
那个未来科技真性感 看哪
That's some sexy-ass future shit, right there.
您或您的伴侣对海♥洛♥因♥上瘾吗
Do you or someone you love have a problem with heroin?
-快速丸呢 冰♥毒♥ -有 有有有
-Speed? Ice? Smack? Yes. Yeah. Uh-huh.
-烈酒 麻♥醉♥药♥片 -嗯 有啊
-Wack? Jack? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
-阿莉迈克尔 或者可♥卡♥因♥
Al Michaels' revenge? Or cocaine?
我们先来享受一下阿莉迈克尔 好不
First order of business, we get ourselves some Al Michaels' revenge, right?
我们可以让您返老还童 重现活力
We can help put the "u" back in "re-you-venate."
这是在讨论嗑药的危害吗 说得好像这是种病似的
We're still demonizing addiction, huh? Like it's some kind of sickness?
-我还想看你沮丧的样子呢 -哈哈
-I can't wait for you to hit rock bottom. Yeah.
未来的谁会想杀了你呢 卢
Who in the future would want to kill you, Lou?
我怎么知道
I don't know.
唯一想杀我的只有我自己
The only person who's ever had any motivation to kill me has been me.
我如此尊老爱幼 诚挚待人...
I treat everyone with the utmost respect and kindness.
卢 你上周还想把我推下楼梯来着
Lou, you tried to push me down the stairs last week.
开玩笑嘛
-As a joke!
哦我的天 是你诶
Oh, my God, it's you.
雅克布是凶手
Jacob is the murderer.
我才不是 去你的
I'm not the murderer. Come on.
哦是吗 你不是一直想闯入我的生活吗
Oh, really? Because you seem to have stepped right into my life.
你一直都想取代我 去操那只老虎
You always wanted to be the one fucking that tiger!
卢 如果我想要杀你
Lou, if I was going to fuckin' kill you,
我不会用枪的 懂吗
I wouldn't use a gun, okay?
会在你早晨的鸡尾酒里
I would spike your mid-morning cocktail
加无味的强效镇定剂
with a tasteless, but potent sedative.
然后等你睡上9个小时
And, while you slept, I would wait the 9 hours
让它在你全身充分扩散 了无痕迹
for it to flush out of your system, so there's no trace.
接着我带你去打高尔夫
And I would take you out into the Gulf
把你拿去喂虎鲨
and feed you to a tiger shark.
卧♥槽♥ 碉堡了
Damn, that's cold.
反正我不用枪
But I wouldn't use a gun.
从现在起我要自己调鸡尾酒了 多谢提醒
I'll be making my own mid-morning cocktail from now on, thank you.
我真希望亚当在这 他知道该怎么办
Man, I wish Adam was here. He'd know what to do.
你可真是一针见血
You just described my whole entire life.
我们需要亚当 他不在
We need Adam and he's not here.
他到底跑哪去了
Where the hell is he?
哎呦我去
Holy shit.
你中枪后 我们在照料你
When we were carrying you after you got shot,
那时候我在热浴盆时光机旁边
I saw his trench coat
看到了他的风衣
beside the hot tub time machine.
亚当杀了我
Adam murdered me.
好吧 亚当杀了卢
Okay, so Adam shoots Lou,
然后用热浴盆时光机逃到了某个时空角落
then uses the hot tub to escape somewhere in time.
教科书
Textbook.
我们唯一的线索就是那本教科书
Only in our fucked-up social circle is that textbook.
亚当为什么杀你
Why would Adam wanna shoot you?
不知道 我一直当他是最好的朋友
I don't know. I've only been the best of friends to him.
-你强♥奸♥他老婆未遂 -你强♥奸♥他老婆未遂
-You tried to fuck his wife. You tried to fuck his wife?
开玩笑的嘛 你们懂的
As a joke! Come on, you guys get that.
不懂
No.
懂
-You get it.
这里是卢歌♥财经新闻 毫无意外
In lougle financial news, no surprise here,
卢歌♥今日交易量上涨10个百分点
lougle finished trading up 10 points today.
不错啊 看来我搞得定这家公♥司♥
Nice. Looks like I turned the company around.
看我搞定你
I'll turn you around.
某人很生气 因为被杀了
Somebody's grumpy 'cause they got murdered.
哼哼
Mmm-hmm.
亚当 出来
Adam! Come on out!
你全世界最好的朋友来了
It's your best friends in the whole fucking world!
你确定找对地方了
You sure this is the right place?
卢歌♥搜索指明了亚当的位置和DNA
Lougle search brought up Adam's location and DNA.
他真该设置一下隐私权限
He's really got to fix his privacy settings.
如果他真在这 我要抢先一步干掉他
If he's here, I'm gonna kill him before he kills me.
嗨 请问有什么事吗
Hi. Can I help you?
哦天哪 雅各布-多臣和尼克-韦伯
Oh, my God. Jacob dorchen and Nick Webber?
惭愧
Guilty.
有大人物来探访我了
Am I on celebrity subpoena?
告诉我 有大人物来看我了是吗
Just tell me. Tell me, am I on celebrity subpoena?
呃 你好先生 请问你是
And hello, sir. Who are you?
-妈的 走错了 -别走啊
-Fuck it, wrong house. Stop.
亚当-雅茨住在这吗
Does Adam yates live here?
我就是亚当·雅茨·斯特梅耶尔
I'm Adam yates Stedmeyer.
噢 这么说你娶了我姑妈
Okay, so you're married to my aunt,
变成我姑父了
which makes you my Uncle.
那么 我跟你是堂兄弟
But that means that you and I are first cousins.
噢我的天 不会吧
Oh, my God, you guys. This is aws.
他看起来就是个毛头小子
He looks like a preppie braveheart.
我母亲去世后 我翻到了这张照片
I found this photo after my mother died.
白色大水牛
Great white buffalo.
白色大水牛
Great white buffalo.
-白色大水牛 -白色大水牛
-Great white buffalo. Great white buffalo.
白色大水牛 没错
Great white buffalo. Yeah.
是的 没错
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
所以这就是那个人 对吗 这就是我父亲
So this is him, right? This is my dad?
你没见过你父亲
So you never met him?
没有 我还没出生他们就离婚了
No, they broke up before I was even born.
噢
Oh.
但你们可以介绍我跟他认识啊
But you guys can introduce us.
呃 这件事牵扯甚多 略显复杂
Yeah. See, the thing about that is, it's complicated.
你们难道不觉得
Do you guys ever feel like
万事都有因果吗
everything happens for a reason?
-是的 -不
-Yes. No.
那就是命运 或者缘份
Call it destiny, or predestiny.
你是说因缘
I think it's "predestination."
不 是缘份 我在书上看到的
No, it's predestiny. I read a book.
那书是字典吗
Uh, was that book a dictionary?
不 那本书名叫"缘份"
No, it was a book called predestiny.
好吧当我没说
Okay, I don't really give a shit.
缘份告诉我们
With predestiny, it dictates
冥冥之中有一种力量牵引着因果
that there is a force or something holding the strings
维持着万事万物的运转
and setting everything up
所以它们能被完美地
just so they can be knocked down perfectly
对号♥
into
入座
place.
说得好 但我们不能带你去 我要走了 走吧
I can't! I can't do it! I gotta go. Let's go.
不好意思 兄弟 我们得走了
-Sorry. Sorry, bro, we gotta go.
对了 裙子不错
Nice skirt, by the way.
-谢谢 -我一条新裙子
-Thank you. I have the dress.
等等 谁刚才提到裙子了
Wait, who said anything about a dress?
肯定不是我
I certainly didn't say anything about the dress.
噢
Oh.
抱歉 我不知道有客人在
I'm sorry. I didn't realize that Adam had guests.
-嘿 宝贝 -嗨
-Hey, babe. Hi.
朋友们 这是吉儿 吉儿 这是我朋友
Guys, meet Jill. Jill, meet the guys.
我们这个周末就要结婚了