哈萌小镇（2014）

那么的话哈萌小镇就会大变了
That would be a very different Harmontown.
小心点
Be careful.
小心啊 别喝了
Be careful, stop it.
*我很骄傲 身为纳什维尔人*
*Well, I'm proud to be from Nashville*
*伴随音乐界的诞生*
*In the birth of the music scene*
*我豪饮白酒 有如雷声震震*
*I'm drinking white like the thunder*
*你知道我妈懂你的意思*
*And you know my mother knows what you mean*
*我左拥猫王 右抱披头士*
*I got Elvis on my left side, got some Beatles on the right*
是啊 我有点儿喘 - 因为你
Yeah, I gasped a little bit - 'cause you...
你之前有喝过私酿酒吗
have you ever drank moonshine before?
没有没有
No, no.
"挺好的"
"It's good."
第二口比第三口好喝
The second sip tastes better than the third.
等一下 我是说 噢 等等
Wait, I mean, oh, wait.
不是的 你知道这是啥味道
No, it's like, you know, you know what it tastes like,
而且我并不是说 我必须跟你们讲
and I don't mean to... I gotta tell you,
喝起来就像我跟我女朋友打架的味道
it tastes like a fight with my girlfriend.
喝起来就像 就像今晚
It tastes like... it tastes like tonight,
Erin和我要打一架了
Erin and I are gonna have a fight.
"你说不定能用这个给你的车当燃料"
"You could probably run your car on this."
所以 他们下台了 龙与地下城开始了
So, they're offstage, D&D begins.
"该我们的地下城主登场了"
"Time to bring up our Dungeon Master,"
"Spencer Crittenden 上来吧"
"Spencer Crittenden, bring him up."
"还有你的女舞伴 Maureen Saldana"
"You got the dance girlfriend, Maureen Saldana."
你还记得龙与地下城的环节吗 - 不记得
Do you remember D&D though? - No
你会飞吗
Can you fly?
你是个巫师 对吧
You're a wizard, right?
什么舞狮的
A lizard?
一个巫师
A wizard.
对不起 爸爸 我喝多了
I'm sorry, Dad, I've had a lot to drink.
好吧 你 - 你还拿着酒呢
Well, you... - You have your moonshine.
能把你手上的酒给我吗
Can I take your moonshine?
天啊 天啊
Oh, God, oh, God.
好吧 老哥 我们就停到这儿
All right, dude, this is where we left off.
"Dan 你还好吗"
"Dan, are you okay?"
"还好还好"
"Yeah, yeah, sure..."
我只记得这事儿就这么发生了
I just remembered that this happened.
我真是太尴尬了
I'm so embarrassed.
我们这样是要拿去给播客的听众们吗
Like, what... do we lift it for the Podcast listeners?
还是怎样
Or what?
"我还是接着跟大家聊聊吧 不好意思"
"Let me keep workin' the crowd, I'm sorry."
你叫啥 - Hailey
What's your name? - Hailey.
Hailey 你咋知道我问完了呢
Hailey, how do you know you're finished?
是啊
Yeah...
Dan 看起来你现在害怕跟人互动啊
Dan it seems like you're afraid of human connection right now.
是哦是哦
Yeah, yeah.
你叫啥 - Matt
What's your name? - Matt.
Matt 我觉得你不叫这个 - 我就是觉得你
Matt, I don't think so. - I just feel like you're...
正互动呢 正互动呢
Workin' the crowd, workin' the crowd.
你这是在掩饰本性 Dan
You're glossing over real humanity out there, Dan.
你叫啥 - Jonathan
What's your name? - Jonathan.
这些在纳什维尔的可怜观众
These poor people in Nashville,
就看着一个家伙 醉得不省人事
just watched a guy, like, drink himself into oblivion.
这不公平
It's not fair.
"妈的 那个私酿酒真是搞死我了"
"Holy shit, that moonshine fucked me up bad."
我跟大家道歉 真心的
I apologize to everybody, honestly.
你们给的钱都会被摞成一摞
All your money will be sitting in a pile,
你们觉得今晚白花了多少钱就拿多少走
you can just take whatever you thought tonight cost you.
我意思是 要不我的工作就是喝得醉醺醺然后会很好玩很有趣
I mean, either my job is to get that drunk and be really entertaining,
要不我就像是John Belush 或者说很不专业
like either I'm John Belushi, or, like, I'm unprofessional,
我觉得 我觉得我做不了John Belush
you know, I don't think I have it in me to be John Belushi.
*最后一站还要自嘲*
*Self ridicule at the end of the station*
*我受不了啦*
*I can't take it no more*
*我感觉自己像个坏蛋*
*I feel like a bad person*
*太可怕了 看着这一切发生*
*Terrible, watching this happen*
*欢迎来到哈萌镇*
*Come on down to Harmontown*
*从此再也不烦闷*
*Turn your frown upside down*
贱♥人♥
Bitch
*黄色的尿 棕色的粪*
*Pee is yellow, poop is brown*
只是在修改历史
Just revising history.
如果你是在场纳什维尔观众的一员
If you were in the Nashville audience,
你 你就会知道一个秘密
you... you know a secret.
你会知道人是会失败的
You know that man can fail.
我一直在自我欺骗
I'll allow myself to stay deluded,
认为来看表演的人们都玩得很开心
and think that people that were at the show had a good time,
但感觉那就像跟我擦肩而过的鸣枪警告
but it felt like a warning shot over my personal shoulder,
我不 我不想再因为这么做而感到愧疚了
I don't... I don't wanna be guilty of doing that again.
我觉得我 我欠那些开了五个小时车来看表演的人
I think you owe... you owe people who make a five hour drive,
一些 一些东西
a certain... A certain something.
一些个性化的 真实的东西
Something personalized, something real.
昨晚在纳什维尔表演
Last night in Nashville,
那一集刚被上传了
the episode is only just being uploaded.
我不太希望你们听到它
I almost hope none of you heard it.
场面失控了 东西出故障了
Control was lost, things broke down.
我喝醉的事儿是不可原谅的
My drinking was unforgivable,
今天我想以这段忏悔开场
and I want to start with this confession to you,
作为哈萌小镇的编辑
as an editor of Harmontown,
我从没编辑过更加令人羞耻的片段了
I've never made more shame-based edits...
我把那些片段剪掉 因为我听起来
I was editing things because I was like, I, I,
我听起来像个怪物
I sound like a monster,
我不想让任何人或者他们的妈妈听到这些片段
and I don't want anyone or their mother to hear it.
好吧 也许我们可以寻求一下某个人的帮助
All right, maybe we could solicit somebody's help, like,
不管我去哪儿表演 我都需要和观众建立联♥系♥
I need to form a relationship with the audience everywhere I go,
那么 有没有人能告诉我
so, I want somebody to tell me, like,
我会闭上眼睛 谁
I'm gonna close my eyes, who...
快走快走 我们都走吧
Let's all... let's all leave.
我会注意到的
I would notice.
好吧 谁今晚最痛苦
All right, who... who is in the most pain tonight?
最毁灭性的痛苦 也许不是身体上的
Like, the most devastating, maybe not physical,
也许是情感上的
maybe emotional...
后面有个人举手了
A... A hand went back up there.
你愿意上台跟我们聊聊吗
Would you be willing to come up and talk to us?
我们从不欺负人的 你愿意吗
We never bully anybody, are you... are you... would you...
不愿意也没关系
It's okay to say no.
我有酗酒的毛病
I have a situation called alcoholism.
好啊
All right
我也是啊 - 我只是真的很希望丹·哈萌
Me, too. - And I was just really hoping that Dan Harmon
可以给我来一杯
would make me a drink.
这可不是戒酒的办法
That's not the cure for alcoholism.
Eddie 你最怕什么
Eddie... Eddie, what are you most afraid of?
成为失败者
Being a failure.
要我就说蜘蛛
I would have said spiders.
你 蜘蛛 你对付蜘蛛很厉害吗
You just... spiders... you're just a badass with spiders?
蜘蛛还好啦 但我很讨厌蛇
I'm okay with spiders, I hate snakes, though.
好吧 害怕蛇还有成为失败者
Okay, snakes and being a failure.
Megan 你怎么了
Megan, what's up with you?
我在办公室里工作
I work in an office,
然而我和那里的任何人都无法相处
and I don't get along with anybody there.
是什么阻碍了你和他们相处
What's keeping you from connecting with people?
那个不错
That's good.
我不是一个好相处的人
I'm not a very nice person.
我爸妈大概在四年前离婚了
My parents got divorced like four years ago,
对于这件事 我很惊讶
which, you know, I was surprised by it, like,
因为一般人不会在这么大的年纪离婚
it usually doesn't happen that much later in a person's life.
我记得我爸试着跟我聊他们分开的事情
I remember my Dad trying to talk to me about our parents' separation,
我就觉得很尴尬
and me getting so embarrassed.
我爸甚至不跟我讲这种事的
My Dad doesn't even talk about that sort of stuff,
或者任何现实中的事 就那件事来说
or anything real, for that matter.
好的 Maya 你最大的抱负是什么
All right, Maya, what's your biggest ambition,
你最大的梦想是什么
what's your biggest dream?