随身危机（2024）

["Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" by Bruce Springsteen playing]
BGM「圣诞老人到镇上」
- [隐约不清晰的无线电杂音] - [飞机引擎呼啸声]
(“新鲜现砍圣诞树 最后一天售卖♥♥中)
(新鲜现砍圣诞树)
尤里...
Yuri...
[speaks Russian]
弄到这批“诺维乔克” 并没有我们预想中那么容易
[in English] It was not as easy as we anticipated getting this Novichok.
海关安检员多要了一倍的好处费
Custom inspector doubled his price.
这说明港务局长也涨了一倍价钱
Which means harbormaster doubled his.
在店铺后面
Behind the shop.
蓝色宝马的后备箱里
The trunk of blue BMW.
[coughing]
奥莱克!
Olek! Olek!
- [glasses breaking] - [car alarm chirps]
片名：《随身危机》
(爱)
(孕检棒 阳性 阴性)
[alarm ringing]
(闹钟)
你醒了
You're up.
我刚醒
I just woke up.
怎么了?
What?
你觉得什么时候会开始显怀?
When do you think the bump comes?
我昨晚查了很多资料
Well, I googled a lot last night. - Mmm.
但没查这个
I did not google that.
我希望能快点
I hope soon.
我喜欢挺着孕肚的感觉
I love a baby bump.
好了 起来吧
Okay, up.
好的 - 今天会是忙碌的一天
Okay. - It's gonna be a busy one.
去煮咖啡
Go make coffee.
我不想扫你的兴致 但谷歌♥说你不能喝咖啡
I hate to tell you this, but Google says you can't drink coffee.
[door opens]
就一小口
Just a sip.
我们的宝宝离天才智商值差一分 也没关系
Our baby can be one IQ point shy of genius.
好吧
Okay.
没有圣诞精神?
Not in the Christmas spirit?
从来就没有过
Historically? Never.
但今年圣诞节是例外
But this Christmas is an exception.
今年圣诞节我感受到了满满的幸福
This Christmas is a full-tank Merry Christmas.
这是一个幸福的圣诞节 就像英国人常说的那样
It's a happy Christmas like they have in England.
我们为什么不这么说?
Why don't we say that here?
祝你圣诞节幸福
Happy Christmas.
[man singing on radio] ♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪
♪ It's the best time of the year... ♪
看吧?我喜欢圣诞节
See? I love Christmas.
我不喜欢我们在平安夜还要工作
I don't love that we're working Christmas Eve.
但你知道 我喜欢下班后回家一起庆祝
But you know, I love what we're coming home to celebrate.
这是我们一直想要的 我们的愿望实现了
This is what we wanted and we got what we wanted.
立马就实现了
Right away.
你觉得紧张是正常的
It's okay to be nervous.
我没有害怕
I'm not scared.
只不过 我原本想着
Just, you know, thought I'd be
我会在更安定的时候迎来这个孩子
further along by the time this happened.
我是说 更安稳的生活
You know, like, in life.
有计划 有事业 养条狗
Have a plan, have a career, have a dog.
你想养狗?
You want a dog?
你不想吗?
You don't?
我喜欢我们现在的生活
Hey, I like our life.
我也是
Me too.
我爱你 - 我也爱你
I love you. - I love you too.
我和你一样 期待着我们的孩子降生
I'm with you. Thinking about our kid.
我同样期待着能一起养条狗
And I'm thinking about our dog.
我们先生个孩子再说吧
Let's have a baby first.
是啊 先生个孩子
Yeah, let's have a baby first.
[plane whooshing]
我知道我圣诞节想要什么礼物了
I know what I want for Christmas.
我想让你认真考虑再次申请警校
I want you to seriously consider applying to the police academy again.
等等
Wait.
(所有航站楼 洛杉矶国际机场 停车场摆渡车)
早上好
[Nora] Good morning.
你有进步啊 沃尔特 上次差点夹死我
Getting closer, Walter. Almost killed me that time.
怎么突然提警校的事?
Why the academy all of a sudden?
因为那是你最后一次 为一件事而激动不已
Because it was the last time you were excited about your life.
你查看信箱的次数多到 连邮递员的名字都记住了
You checked the mail so many times, you knew the mailman by name.
我一直都认识哈利 我们是铁哥们
I always knew Harry. We're like that.
就好像你能看到未来 迫不及待想去抓住它
It was like you could see a future and you couldn't wait for it.
但从落榜的那一刻起 那个你就消失了
And the second that you didn't get in, that guy checked out.
你怀念他吗?
You miss him?
你怀念他
You miss him.
他们拒绝了我
Well, they rejected me.
拒绝了你一次
Once.
你就申请了一次
You applied once.
你当初约了我几次?
How many times did you ask me out?
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
我在洛杉矶找到了工作 你就跟着我来到了这里
You followed me to LA when I got a job here.
你在同一家公♥司♥找了工作 这样我们就能一起吃午饭了
And then you took a job at the same place so we could have lunch together.
那是三年前 - 我喜欢跟你一起吃午饭
That was three years ago. - I like having lunch with you.
是你约的我
You asked me out.
就是更正一下
Just, you know, saying.
就当是为了我 好好考虑下
Just do me a favor and think about it.
(洛杉矶国际机场)
谢谢
Thank you.
(北风)
(北风航♥空♥)
那是我今天最喜欢的一家人
That's my favorite family today.
他们要坐飞往塔希提的338航♥班♥ 提前三小时到了机场
They're three hours early for Flight 338 to Tahiti.
你一直都想去塔希提
You always wanted to go to Tahiti.
我承诺过会带你去
I promised I'd take you someday.
或许就是明天
Maybe tomorrow.
你知道什么人穿比基尼最性感吗?
You know what looks amazing in a bikini?
有孕肚的人
A baby bump.
午饭时见 - 好的
I'll see you at lunch. - Okay.
明天去塔希提
Tahiti tomorrow.
也祝你圣诞快乐
Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.
机场把人都变成了没素质的蠢货
Airports turn people into such dickheads.
(加州洛杉矶国际机场 早上6点57分)
[exhales sharply]
(安保 限制区域 请随手关门)
(北风航♥空♥)
他在那呢 早上好 基根 - 早上好
Here he is. Good morning, Keegan. - Morning.
[man clapping]
谢谢 非常感谢
Thank you. Thank you very much.
这家伙又迟到了
This guy.
你的时机刚刚好
Your timing is perfect.
早上好 日班运输安全员
[Sarkowski] Good morning, Day Shift TSOs.
早上好只是句客套话
因为今天一整天都跟“好”字不沾边
好像节假日还不够忙乱一样
你们都被选中 在这儿跟我一起
还有即将通过安检的 二十万不耐烦的旅客一起度过平安夜
他们本可以听取我们的建议 提早两个小时到 但他们偏不
所以他们赶不上趟 火急火燎
还要把气撒到你们身上
他们会故意找茬跟你们吵架
别让他们得逞 我们今天的口号♥是什么?
Do not take the bait. So what is going to be our mantra for the day?
保障队伍畅通 保护人员安全
[all] Keep the line moving, keep the people safe.
“畅通”和“安全” 只要能做到这一点
"Moving" and "safe." If we do that,
你、我还有那二十万旅客 会忘记今天发生的一切
you, me and 200,000 passengers will forget today ever happened.
寇派克 来得刚好...
Ah, Kopek, just in time...
刚好错过了全部
to miss everything. - [laughter]
威廉姆斯警官? - 好的 都听好了 各位
Officer Williams? - Yep. All right, listen up folks.
国土安♥全♥局♥刚给我们发了预警
DHS has just alerted us
昨天有人用伪造登机牌 从西雅图-塔科马国际机场起飞
to fraudulent boarding passes coming out of SeaTac yesterday.
大家传看一下
Take a look at that.
你们都收到了分发的全新防伪探测笔
You've all been issued brand-new counterfeit pens.
你们要好好利用 好吗?
I need you to use them. Okay?
一旦发现问题立刻汇报给我 或是其他执法警官
And call me or any other LEO for all inspections.
什么? - 不是吧!
What? - Damn!
我一把年纪了 眼瞎耳聋的 你们抱怨什么我一个字都听不清
This whiney thing that you're doing? My old ears can't even hear it.
好了 工作吧 伙计们
All right, let's go, guys.
保持警惕 谨慎行事
Stay alert. Stay vigilant.
让我们平稳度过这个糟心的节日
Let's get through this godforsaken holiday.
新专辑《桑托斯》 在音乐云和Patreon网站上都能听
New $ANTO$ album on SoundCloud and Patreon.
十首劲歌♥热曲让你忍♥不住扭屁♥股♥
Ten tracks of fire that'll make them cheeks clap.
爱迪 你真恶心
Eddie, you're gross.
别装作不感兴趣的样子
Don't act like you ain't about it.
我的歌♥词对各种身材友好 对各种性别友好