圣诞坏公公（2003）

Oh, you lousy, fucking motherfucker.
哦 你个恶心下流的混♥蛋♥!
That's the shit that's gonna get us pinched.
那会让我们倒霉的
She said she was 18.
她说了她18岁了
But you promised no arcades.
你保证不会再干了
You said you'd only hustle Big & Tall.
你说过你只在"又高又大"里面胡搞了
You shat me out of your womb? You're my fucking mom now?
难道是你把我生出来的?你现在是我妈了?
I don't need any goddamn lectures.
我他妈不要听你的说教
I know how to keep a low profile. Thank you.
我知道怎么低调行事 谢谢
What the fuck is this, Mr. Low Profile?
这他妈是什么? 低调先生?
Mind your own goddamn business.
管好你自己的事情吧!
Ever hear of the open bottle law?
听到过关于开瓶的法律吗?
A couple of days ago, I was in, uh, Women's Big & Tall.
几天前 我在"又高又大"商店
And I heard these...
我听到...
Um, you know, these noises.
嗯 你知道 一些声音
And I heard a woman screaming, "Yeah. Oh, yeah."
我听到一个女人叫着"耶 欧耶"
And I heard his voice saying, "That's right.
我听到他在说"很好"
You ain't going to S-H-l-T right for a month."
"你一个月都不能方便了"
But don't get me wrong.
别误解我
I was against the Clinton impeachment.
我反对弹劾克♥林♥顿♥
What a man does with his own penis --
是男人自己的事情
Oval Office, Women's Big & Tall --
总统办公室 "又高又大"商场
it's not for the American people to say.
这不该是美国人♥民♥谈论的
Yeah, right.
嗯 没错
But when you're dealing with children...
但是如果和孩子打交道
They have a tender sensibility.
他们非常敏感
And you are in a position of trust.
他们很信任你
I think perhaps someone who has screaming orgasms
我觉得有些尖叫的达到高♥潮♥
with large women shouldn't...
和女人胡搞的人不应该...
Yeah.
对
Of course, I can't fire him for that.
当然我不能因此解雇他
Oh, yeah. Unfair practices.
没错 不公正待遇
Special pleading. Bitch, bitch, bitch.
诡辩 婊♥子♥ 婊♥子♥ 婊♥子♥
Fucking broads.
去他们的
But I just can't help it.
但是我不能忍♥受
There's something about the guy that makes me uneasy.
这个家伙让我感到不安
Well, sure.
嗯 当然
Santa fucking someone in the ass.
圣诞老人干了别人
So...
那么...
Maybe there's something I could fire him for.
或许我可以找到解雇他的理由
Yeah, I get you.
嗯 我懂了
Do you?
是吗?
Do you think you could find something?
你可以找到什么理由吗?
Shit, yeah. There's always something.
妈的 对 何患无辞
Shit.
妈的
Hey, Opal. Come here.
嗨 猫人 过来
Unh-unh.
嗯
Screw you, Willie, your kinky ass.
去你的 维力 你个流氓
Last time I didn't shit right for a week.
我一个礼拜没好好方便了
No, it's not that. I need to talk to you.
不是这个 我有话对你说
I'm just tired of you, Willie.
你烦死我了 维力
Ooh.
噢
Who the fuck is in my room?
我房♥间里是谁?
Did you see somebody go in my room?
你看到有人进我的房♥间吗?
Yeah. Some guy asking about you.
嗯 有个人来找你
Looked like a cop.
像是个警♥察♥
Oh, shit.
哦 妈的
Marcus, it's Willie.
马科斯 我是维力
I just got back to the motel.
我刚回到汽车旅馆
Some guy is nosing around in my room.
有个家伙在翻我的屋子
What guy? You get a look at him?
什么家伙?你看到他了吗?
No. But I think he's a cop, though.
没有 我猜是个警♥察♥
Think somebody's onto us?
是不是有人盯上我们了?
Is there anything in the room? Anything professional?
房♥间里有什么东西吗?干活用的工具?
No, I just got clothes in there.
没有 里面只有衣服
Just ditch, you idiot.
避避风头 笨蛋
You got anywhere to sack out for a while?
你有地方睡觉吗?
Santa! Yeah.
圣诞公公! 对
You're bringing my present early?
你提前送我礼物来了?
No.
不是
But I never told you what I wanted.
我从来没告诉你我要什么
I said I didn't bring it, dipshit.
我说了带来了一些东西 笨蛋
Okay. Good.
好 真棒
I want a stuffed elephant. A pink one.
我要一个茸毛大象 粉红色的
Wish in one hand, shit in the other one.
一手是愿望 一手放垃圾
See which one fills up first.
看哪个先满
Okay.
好的
So I'm gonna be staying here for a while.
我要在这里呆一会
Things are all fucked up at the North Pole.
北极糟透了
Mrs. Santa caught me fucking her sister.
圣诞婆婆抓到我和她妹妹上♥床♥了
And I'm out on my ass now.
我只好逃出来
She got half of everything.
她得到了一半财产
This is gonna be cool.
真是不赖
This will do fine.
这里不错
So I'm gonna be crashing here.
所以我就住这里了
It will be just you and me, like roommates, you know?
只有你和我 就像室友 明白吗?
Do you and Mrs. Santa have kids?
你和圣诞婆婆有孩子吗?
No. Thank the fuck Christ.
没有 感谢上帝
What about the elves?
那精灵呢?
Well, they stay with Mrs. Santa.
他们和圣诞婆婆住一起
I get them on the weekends.
我周末去接他们
Why don't you go run me a bath?
去给我放洗澡水吧
What about the reindeer?
巡鹿怎么样了?
Would you please shut up about reindeer?
你可以别再问巡鹿了吗?
What are their names?
他们叫什么名字?
Who?
谁?
The elves.
精灵们
Oh, shit. I can't remember.
哦 妈的 我记不清楚了
I think one of them is Sneezy. There's a Dopey.
我知道一个喜欢打喷嚏 一个很笨
That's the Seven Dwarfs.
那是7个小矮人
Oh, you're shitting me.
哦 你问倒我了
I thought... I was thinking it was the...
我想想...我觉得是...
I don't know. Fuck, kid.
我不知道 滚你的
I just call them, "bub."
我只是叫他们"小♥弟♥弟♥"
I say, "Hey, bub" or "chief" or whatever the fuck.
我说"嗨 小♥弟♥弟♥"或者"长官"或者随便什么
I tell him to make the goddamn toy.
我让他做个玩具
What the fuck is wrong with you?
你♥他♥妈♥怎么回事情?
I can't remember this shit!
我记不清这些该死的东西!
Does everything with you have to be a fucking test?
你♥他♥妈♥的什么都要问吗?
How old are they?
他们多大了?
You want cookies?
你想吃饼干吗?
No.
不
Warm milk?
热牛奶?
No.
不
Should I fix you some sandwiches?
给你做点三明治吧
I don't want any fucking sandwiches.
我他妈不要吃三明治
What is it with you and fixing fucking sandwiches?
你只会做三明治吗?
Okay. Do you want anything else?
嗯 还要其他什么吗?
No.
不
Okay.
好的
Santa?
圣诞公公?
What?
怎么?
I brought you some orange juice.
我给你倒了杯橙汁
What's in it?
里面是什么?
Oranges.
橙子
Look what I have.
看这是什么
An Advent calendar.
基♥督♥降临日历
What the hell is that?
这到底是什么?
It's the story of Christmas, but in a calendar.
是圣诞节的故事 做成日历的样子
Every day you peel open a new box.
每天打开一个新的盒子
You get part of the story.
你读到一个故事