圣诞坏公公（2003）

Hey, can I get another drink down here?
嗨 我可以再来一杯吗?
WILLIE: I've been to prison once.
我曾经蹲过一次监狱
I've been married twice.
我曾经结过两次婚
I was once drafted by Lyndon Johnson and had to live
林顿·约翰逊还招我入伍
in shit-ass Mexico for two and a half years for no reason.
在他妈的墨西哥莫名其妙的呆了两年半
I've had my eye socket punched in, a kidney taken out,
眼睛被人打了 还丢了一个肾
and I got a bone chip in my ankle that's never gonna heal.
脚踝里断了根骨头 永远不会好了
I've seen some pretty shitty situations in my life.
我碰到过许多人生的黑暗
But nothing has ever sucked more ass than this.
但是没有比这次更糟糕的
If I'd known I was gonna have to put up with screaming brats
如果早知道要忍♥受这些吵闹的小家伙
pissing on my lap for 30 days out of the year,
一年里要烦我整整30天
I would have killed myself a long time ago.
我早就自杀了
Come to think of it, I still might.
想想吧 我可能还是会的
Where I come from, we didn't celebrate Christmas.
我的家乡从不庆祝圣诞节
Not because we were Jewish, but because my dad
不是因为我们是犹太人 因为我父亲
was a worthless-coward fucking asshole whose idea of a present
是个懦弱无用的混♥蛋♥ 他给我的礼物
was a daily punch to the back of the head.
无非是每天揍我后脑勺
He did teach me how to crack a safe, though.
虽然他也教过我怎么撬保险箱
My dad never did shit with his life, so he took it out on me.
我父亲的生活一团糟 所以总是朝我发泄
You could say I'm no different. I'd have to say you were right.
你可能会说我也一样 我想你没错
But at this point, it's too late to start over.
只是此刻重新开始已经太迟了
Funny how things work out.
世界真奇妙
It's fucking hilarious.
太他妈的有趣了
There's Santa Claus. Look there.
圣诞老人在那里 看呀
Wow.
噢!
Oh, my. What a darling photo.
哦 这照片太棒了
Are you certain you only want the single?
你真的只要一张吗?
Additional photos come in handy as gifts for Grandma and Grandpa
多印两张是给祖父祖母最好的礼物
or as a wonderful remembrance for friends.
或者给朋友留作纪念
Gee. You know what?
嗯 你知道吗?
This one, I think it's more than enough.
这张已经足够了
Thanks. Merry Christmas.
谢谢 圣诞快乐
So, what do you want, little girl?
你要什么 小姑娘?
A drum set.
一套爵士鼓
Oh, the old man will love that.
哦 真是不错
Okay. Fine. See you later.
好的 待会见
I saw you at another mall.
我在另外一个商场里见过你
Well, I'm very happy for you.
嗯 我为你感到高兴
You're not really Santa.
你不是个真的圣诞老人
If you were Santa, you could do magic.
如果你是的话就应该会变魔术
You want to see some magic?
你想看魔术吗?
Here. Let's watch you disappear.
来 看我让你消失吧
Watch the bladder, kid. Santa's got to pee.
看着孩子 圣诞老人要去方便了
What do you want? A new bike.
你想要什么? 一辆自行车
Wow. That's a new one. Excellent.
哦 要一辆新的 真不错
MAN: Attention, shoppers.
顾客们请注意
The store will be closing in five minutes.
离关门还有5分钟
We hope tomorrow is a pleasant Christmas.
我们希望大家明天过一个开心的圣诞节
Thank you for shopping with us.
谢谢大家光临
ls that it? Yeah, that's the last one.
都结束了吗? 对 这是最后一个了
Thank the fuck Christ.
感谢他妈的上帝
Jesus, Mother Mary, and Joseph.
耶稣 圣母和耶♥和♥华♥
You pissed yourself.
你尿裤子了?
Aw, Jesus.
哦 上帝
Yeah, all right.
好的
Yeah.
好
Hey, happy holidays. All right.
嗨 节日快乐
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐
Happy holidays.
节日快乐
Get home safe.
喝杯咖啡吧
Yeah, okay.
嗯 好的
I don't care what he says.
我不管他怎么说
We're going out for a beer. What the fuck?
我们要去喝酒了 怎么回事?
I'll get right back to you.
我马上再联♥系♥你
What the hell's wrong with you? I'm trying to fucking leave.
你到底怎么回事? 我真♥他♥妈♥要回家
Pants are awful baggy.
你的裤子那么脏
You got anything in there?
里面有什么东西?
Yeah. My dick. You want to see it?
嗯 我的那玩意 你想看看?
Keep pushing me.
再狠一点呀
I got my eyes on you.
我看着你
All the time.
一直看着
Ready.
准备好了
Jesus.
上帝
How's it going? I'm finished when I'm finished.
干的怎么样? 好了自然会告诉你
I'm going back upstairs.
我回楼上了
I need a melon baller and a loofah.
我需要一个西瓜模子和一根丝瓜筋
Got it.
搞定
Fuck the loofah. Let's go.
去它的丝瓜筋 我们可以快走了
Marcus, you get the loofah?
马科斯 你拿到丝瓜筋了吗?
Drive.
开车
Oh!
哦!
Oh, I'm dizzy. Put me down.
哦 我头晕了 把我放下吧
Hey, put me down.
嗨 放我下来
Come on! Put me down.
快!放我下来
Oh, come on.
哦 快点
Oh, man.
哦
Hey, baby, two more of these, all right?
嗨 宝贝 再来两杯 怎么样?
No. That's it for me.
不 我已经够了
You can't drink worth a shit, you know that?
不喝酒不是男人 你懂吗?
I weigh 92 pounds, you dick.
我已经92磅了 蠢货
Come on. One more. It's a celebration.
来吧 庆祝一下
Here's to you.
为你干杯
You're getting worse, you know that?
你水平越来越差了 你知道吗?
Well, at least I got it open.
至少我还是撬开了
It took you long enough.
那么长时间
I remember when you could unlock a lock like it was nothing.
我记得你以前撬锁如探囊取物
Yeah, well, you don't have to worry about me anymore.
嗯 你再也不用为我担心了
I'm out.
我洗手不干了
Bullshit.
胡扯
Bullshit, my ass.
谁他妈胡扯
We just made $1 1 1,000 in one night.
我们才赚了$111 000
Exactly. I figure I got enough to go to Miami.
没错 我有足够的钱去迈阿密了
And do what?
去干吗?
I don't know. Shit. Get a car.
我不知道 买♥♥辆车
Get a place, maybe.
买♥♥幢房♥子 可能
Maybe start a business. A bar out on the beach.
可能做点生意 开个海滩酒吧
Something like that.
就像这样
I could quit drinking and run the place.
我会戒酒 专心做生意
Maybe marry a waitress.
可能娶个招待小姐
What?
怎么?
You ain't gonna do shit except go down there
去那里你♥他♥妈♥什么都做不成
and drink your fucking ass off.
只会喝个酩酊大醉
You're gonna piss everything away
输的一无所有
and end up counting the days till next Christmas.
最后盼着下个圣诞节的到来
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
你希望我那样 是吗?
Well, it ain't gonna happen.
但是不会这样的
If I call you next December --
如果我明年12月给你打电♥话♥...
if I call you next December --
"如果"我明年12月给你打电♥话♥...
you're gonna be so happy to hear from me
你一定会非常高兴
you're gonna do a goddamn backflip.
马上回来这里
You're gonna put that Santa hat on so fast
你一定会穿上圣诞老人的衣服
that you're gonna get fucking hat-burn.
还迅速带上帽子
Can I get you guys two more?
你们还要再来两杯吗?
No, thanks. We're all right.
不用了 谢谢.我们够了
See?
看到吗?
I'm already on the wagon.
我已经开始行动了
Hey. Asshole!
嗨 混♥蛋♥!
How many times I got to tell you?
我要警告你多少次?
Get out from behind my bar!
滚出我的酒吧
Put the drink down right now.
快把酒放下