The Power of Parker（2023）

此节目包含一些强烈的语言。
This programme contains some strong language.
你好。我是马丁·派克。欢迎来到派克的电力和电气。
Hi. I'm Martin Parker. Welcome to Parker's Power & Electricals.
我们不仅仅是任何一家电器超♥市♥。
We're not just any electrical superstore.
我们是您的电器超♥市♥。
We're YOUR electrical superstore.
感觉饿了？布雷维尔烤面包机。只有24.99。
Feeling peckish? Breville toaster. Only 24.99.
什么报价！
What an offer!
爸爸的摄像机怎么样？只有499。顶级交易！
What about a camcorder for Dad? Only 499. Top deal!
为什么不给妻子用最新的最先进的真空吸尘器,
Why not treat the wife to the latest state-of-the-art vacuum cleaner,
只需 73 英镑？不是开玩笑！
for as little as 73 quid? No joke!
奔宁山脉这边最便宜的价格。
Cheapest prices this side of the Pennines.
这就是派克的力量！
That's the power of Parker!
火灾报♥警♥铃
FIRE ALARM RINGS
马丁？
Martin?
嗷......
Aw...
我不喜欢你压力大的时候。我能让你振作起来吗？
I don't like it when you're stressed. Can I cheer you up?
你总是让我振作起来。
You always cheer me up.
嗯。。。
Mmm...
嘿嘿嘿我需要回来
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I need to get back
在琼的烫发溶液再次灼伤她的头皮之前。
before Joan's perm solution burns her scalp again.
我以为你说你想让我振作起来。
I thought you said you wanted to cheer me up.
哦,来吧,鸡肉。还有五分钟？给我减压。
Oh, come on, chicken. Five more minutes? De-stress me.
哦,我后来给你一个惊喜。什么样的惊喜？秘密。
Oh, I got a surprise for you later. What kind of surprise? Secret.
凯丝,你在秘密上拉屎。你不能自己撒尿。
Kath, you're shit at secrets. You can't hold your own piss.
嗯,我很谨慎,我会让你知道的。
Um, I am very discreet, I'll have you know.
我可以给你一个提示吗？看？
Shall I give you a hint? See?
她笑了
SHE LAUGHS
我的马蹄子不好。
My horse has a poorly hoof.
然而,我把它带到了泽市场？你能帮我吗？
However vill I make it to ze market? Can you helps me?
那是什么血腥的地狱之火？很性感,那个。
What the bloody hellfire was that? It was sexy, that.
性感？你听起来更像是轻微中风了。
Sexy? You sound more like you've had a mild stroke.
淤火。我正在努力,好吗？你会爱上它的！
Sod off. I'm working on it, all right? You're going to love it!
你疯了。你疯了。
You're mad. You're mad.
他们笑了
THEY LAUGH
我们开始吧！现在你说话了！哦！
There we go! Now you're talking! Oh!
现在你正在用煤气做饭,我们的凯丝！
Now you're cooking on gas, our Kath!
他们尖叫和大笑
THEY SHRIEK AND LAUGH
该死。是时候了吗？我最好去。
Oh, shit. Is that the time? I'd better go.
爱你！
Love you!
# 镜子人来了 噢噢噢
# Here comes the mirror man Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
# 说他是人♥民♥粉丝 噢噢#
# Says he's a people fan Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... #
塔,贝蒂。
Ta, Betty.
如果我是你,我会把它放在煮沸的洗涤上。再见！
I'd stick it on a boil wash if I was you. See ya!
想都别想。我刚刚拖地。耶稣！
Don't even think about it. I've just mopped. Jesus!
这里。在车♥库♥里吃。哦,汤姆,
Here. Eat it in the garage. Oh, Tom,
请告诉我你至少要在今晚之前洗澡？
please tell me you're going to at least shower before tonight?
我不明白所有的大惊小怪是关于什么的。
I don't see what all the fuss is about.
汤姆,我是理事会成员。
Tom, I'm on the board of governors.
和。。。？我们正在招待你姐姐的法语交换者。
And...? And we're entertaining your sister's French exchange people.
我和你父亲,我们所有人,都代表英国。
Me and your father, all of us, are representing Britain.
学校指望著我。一切都需要完美。
The school are counting on me. Everything needs to be perfect.
有适合的法国鸟来吗？哦。。。
Any fit French birds coming? Ohh...
哦。。。我认为你没有足够的乳酪。
Oh... I don't think you've got enough cheese.
你认为我应该放更多吗？我们又期待多少人？
Do you think I should put more out? How many are we expecting, again?
她喘著粗气。
SHE GASPS More chairs.
他们会想混在一起吗？法语混在一起吗？你能混在椅子上吗？
Will they want to mingle? Do French mingle? Can you mingle in chairs?
椅子少了？是的,椅子少了。给我们一个优酪乳,好吗？哦！
Less chairs? Yes, less chairs. Chuck us a yoghurt, will ya? Oh!
甜点！我只做了一件小事。妈妈！冷静。
Desserts! I've only done a trifle. Mum! Chill out.
法国人喜欢甜点吗？
Do French people like desserts?
让他们吃蛋糕。是的,我要一个蛋糕！
Let them eat cake. Yes, I'll get a cake!
谁不喜欢蛋糕？嗯。
Who doesn't like a cake? Hmm.
希亚,帕姆。你没事吧？
Hiya, Pam. Are you all right?
有我的药了吗,贝夫？我告诉你们。给我们一分钟。
Got my pills, Bev? I told ya. Give us a minute.
哦！晚安,是吗,贝芙？
Oh! Good night, was it, Bev?
昨晚我们双倍地♥西♥泮♥。
We were double-dropping some diazepam last night.
哦。脱掉我的奶♥子♥。
Oh. Off me tits.
哦,别看我,凯丝,我在屁♥股♥上挂著。
Oh, don't look at me, Kath, I'm hanging out me arse.
不适合我,那个,贝夫。
Not for me, that, Bev.
我只需要一个弓箭手和柠檬水以及一个好的波普。
All I need to unwind is an Archers and lemonade and a good bop.
你没事吧,格拉迪斯？你体面？
You all right, Gladys? You decent?
哦,她来了。
Oh, here she is.
你好,我的爱人。
Hello, my love.
记住,格拉迪斯,不要对其他人说一句话。
Remember, Gladys, not a word to the others.
哦。你从谁那里刷的？
Oh. Who have you swiped that from?
没关系。这是一个很好的『un,那个。
Never you mind. It's a good 'un, that.
它未开封。两块肥皂和一个滑石粉。毫米！
It's unopened. Two soaps and a talc. Mm!
和他们雪茄在一起有什么快乐吗？恐怕这是个坏消息。
Any joy with them ciggies? It's bad news, I'm afraid.
他又在加莱被拦住了。
He's been stopped at Calais again.
500包真丝切割,10升茴香酒
500 packs of Silk Cut, ten litres of ouzo
和 40 双仿冒的 Gucci 乐福鞋都在 Suwannee 上。
and 40 pairs of knock-off Gucci loafers all up the Suwannee.
他妈妈疯了。她不得不改用卷子。
His mam's gone mad. She's had to switch to rollies.
哦不。谁有时间？嗯,我知道。
Oh, no. Who has the time? Well, I know.
这很好。是新的吗？胖安妮。
This is nice. Is it new? Fat Annie.
10B的安妮鲍威尔周二去世。
Annie Powell, 10B, died Tuesday.
哦。我叨了这个和几个睡衣。
Oh. I nabbed this and a couple of nighties.
好。
Nice.
凯丝自言自语
KATH HUMS TO HERSELF
哦,你心情很好。
Oh, you're in a good mood.
今天是银色周年纪念日。我正在给我们做一顿丰盛的饭菜。
Silver anniversary today. I'm doing us a fancy meal.
哦,对了。你让他做什么？
Oh, right. What are you making him?
坚如磐石。好吧,如果我借的俏皮服装
Rock hard. Well, if the saucy costume I borrowed
与它有什么关系！她吹口哨
has anything to do with it! SHE WHISTLES
肮脏的窃听器。
Dirty bugger.
你知道吗,他是妥妥的性狂。
Do you know, he is proper sex mad.
是的。所以我看到了。
Yeah. So I saw.
什么？你和他像傻虫子一样滚来滚去。
You what? You and him rolling around like silly buggers.
我们不得不停止宾果游戏。两次。
We had to stop the bingo. Twice.
克里夫·毕比胸口疼痛。寻求关注的混♥蛋♥。
Cliff Bibby was having chest pains. Attention-seeking bastard.
哦,下周我可能会给你一个茶。
Oh, and I might have a Teasmade for you next week.
温妮欧文斯已经走完了最后一段路。
Winnie Owens is on her last legs.
我知道。
I know.
伙计们,这是怎么回事？
What is going on, guys?
你应该是我的梦之队。
You're supposed to be my dream team.
如果你想要这一切...
If you want all this...
如果你想要这一切,我有消息要告诉你。
If you want all this, I've got news for you.
你必须开始使用这个。
You've got to start using this.
Redditch分公♥司♥昨天卖♥♥出了其中的13个。
Redditch branch sold 13 of these yesterday.
13!
13!
13. 1-3.
13. 1-3.
你听到了吗？
Are you hearing this?
天啊。看看你的状态。
Oh, God. Look at the state of you.
加里,苍蝇。
Gary, flies.
压缩
ZIPPING
你知道你们中间卖♥♥了多少电视视频吗？
Do you know how many telly-videos you sold between the lot of you?
零。齐尔奇。
Zero. Zilch.
甜蜜的FA,亚历克斯。
Sweet FA, Alex.
实际上,减去一个。
Actually, minus one.
加里回来了。我一直在看你们很多人
Gary had a return. I've been watching the lot of you
而且你追求错误的客户。
and you're going after the wrong customers.
我该怎么办？
What would I do?
吸引女士们。给孩子一个气球。
Charm the ladies. Give the kiddies a balloon.
如果他们想要交易,我们会做交易。
And if they want a deal, we do deals.
这个电视视频附带一个免费的体育手提包,为了他妈的。
This telly-video comes with a free sports holdall, for fuck's sake.
什么报价。加油！
What an offer. Come on!
我把它放在一个混♥蛋♥盘子里递给你。半路遇见我。
I'm handing it to you on a bastard plate here. Meet me halfway.
他叹了口气
HE SIGHS
好吧？你站著站著干什么？时间就是金钱。
All right? What are you doing stood standing around? Time's money.
对不起,派克先生。我已经一遍又一遍地看数位,
I'm sorry, Mr Parker. I've been over and over the numbers,
但是有这么多的异常情况,我似乎无法把事情做好。
but with so many anomalies, I just can't seem to get things right.
好吧,你是我的会计师。这不是我付给你的吗？
Well, you're my accountant. Isn't that what I pay you for?
是的,好吧,关于这个,实际上...有多糟糕？哦,这很糟糕。
Yeah, well, about that, actually... How bad is it? Oh, it's bad.