绅士联盟（1999）

She broke myjaw!
这种动机怎么样
How's that for motivation?
你这猴精 我不是让你发笔的吗
You, monkey man! I thought I told you to dish those pens out!
你在等什么
What are you waiting for?
我不是为了你们的利益才出现在这里的
I'm not stood here for your benefit!
谢谢你 罗斯
Thanks, Ross!
她回来了
She's back!
妈妈 妈妈 你在哪儿
Mummy, Mummy, where are you?
抱歉
'Scuse me...
走开
Get off!
敢拽我
Pulling on me!
小型企业顾问
预约 今日
布赖恩 杰夫里·提普斯到了
Brian, I've got a Geoffrey Tipps for you.
让他进来 好吗
Send him round, would you?
杰夫
Geoff!
杰夫
Geoff!
你好 摩根先生
Hiya, Mr Morgan.
叫我布赖恩就行了 客气什么
Call me Brian, for goodness' sake!
你过得怎么样 很久不见了
How are you? It's been ages.
没错 我很好 你呢
Yeah, I'm all right, yeah. How are you?
还会时常想起被困在那头大象里的情景吗
You still having flashbacks about being stuck in that elephant?
不 不 那都是往事了
No, no. That's all in the past.
治疗很有效
Therapy helped.
麦克过得如何
How's Mike?
他过得还好 只是压力有点大
Yeah, he's all right, yeah. Bit stressed.
你知道谢丽尔卧床不起吗
You know Cheryl's bed-bound?
不知道 我听说她 变丰满了
No. I heard she got...bigger.
没错 她现在肥得不可思议
Oh, yeah. She's ridiculous now.
连屋子都出不去
She can't get out of the house!
就像美国那些大胖子一样
She's like one of them American ones, you know,
穿着灰色运动服
when they wear grey tracksuits
-要打掉一面墙才出得去 -真的吗
- and have to take a wall out? - Really?
据说 她的床下面还垫了砖来承重
Apparently, her bed's on bricks.
老天 那真是太糟了[滑梯]
Christ. It's a slippery slope.
滑梯正是她需要的
That's what she needs!
你好 布赖恩
Hi, Brian.
抱歉 我来晚了
Sorry I'm late.
我刚刚在给他讲谢丽尔的情况
I was just telling him about the state of Cheryl.
她现在很胖了 对吗 麦克
She's massive now, isn't she, Mike?
是的 没错
She is, yeah.
其实我要急着走
In fact I've not got long,
因为很快需要有人给她翻身 所以
cos she'll need turning soon, so...
当然了 你显然有很多屌♥事要干
Absolutely. You've obviously got a lot on your plate.
他的屌♥不是问题所在
It's not HIS plate that's the problem.
你考虑过让她给你口♥交♥吗
Have you thought about a muzzle?
我听说你想和我们分享一个
I understand you have an investment opportunity
投资的机会 杰夫
to share with us, Geoff.
是的 没错
I do, yeah. Erm...
-我能借用一下这个吗 -当然
- Can I use this...? - Yeah, of course.
谢谢 这里太热了
Thanks. It's boiling in here.
你们好
Hello, Dragons.
过去几个月 我工作在
For the past few months, I've found myself
园艺创新的第一线
at the coalface of horticultural innovation.
他在园艺中心工作
He works in a garden centre.
没错 周三和周五上午
Yeah, Wednesdays and Friday mornings.
我的想法♥会♥改革店内问询系统
My idea will revolutionise in-store queries,
有效满足所有顾客的需求
and provide practical solutions to all buyers' needs.
好的
Right.
那是什么
What is it?
园艺中心大♥师♥是一个小棚子或站岗亭
The Garden Centre Guru is a booth, or an upright sentry shed,
就像《飞天万能车》主角睡觉的地方
you know, like the one he sleeps in in Chitty Bang Bang.
我或者一名团队成员站在里面
And me, or one of my team, stand in it,
回答别人提出的问题
and we answer questions as they arise.
那么借款要花在哪里
And what costs would the loan cover?
-草坪[音似借款] -借款
- Lawn? - The LOAN.
我以为你说的是草坪
Oh, I thought you said lawn,
因为都在聊园艺
cos of all the gardens and that. Er...
小屋的建造和所有的电♥话♥
the building of the shed, and...all the telephones.
-电♥话♥ -对 因为每一个贴士大♥师♥
- Telephones? - Yeah, cos each one of the Tippsters -
他们叫做贴士大♥师♥
they'll be called Tippsters -
将需要一部手♥机♥
will need a mobile phone
来提供所有最新资讯
to provide all the up-to-date information.
所以你想站在园艺中心的一个箱子里
What, so your idea is to stand in a box in a garden centre,
和你每周做的事一样
like you do all week anyway...
只是周三和周五上午
Wednesdays and Friday mornings.
然后为顾客上网搜寻答案
..And Google any questions the customers might ask you?
不仅仅是这些 别把它简化了
Well, not JUST that. Don't do it down!
你说得好像就只有这些工作
You make it sound like that's all there is to it!
那么还有什么
Well, what have I missed?
制♥服♥
The uniforms.
我们都会穿红色的伦敦塔守卫装
Cos we'll all be wearing red beefeater outfits.
-我刚想到的 -杰夫
- Just thought of that now. - Geoff...
还有冰棍 给孩子吃
And ice lollies, for the kids.
但那样的话我们就需要冰柜
But then we'll need a freezer,
所以 冰柜 接线板
so, freezer, extension lead...
杰夫 不行
Geoff, I can't.
我们已经取消了许多抵押品的赎回权
We've had that many foreclosures,
每一份商业计划都得经过严谨的测试
every business plan has to be rigorously tried and tested.
我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
我说了自己不会这样做
I said I wouldn't do this,
但我还是要给你跪下
but I'm going to get on my knees to you.
杰夫 别这样
Geoff, don't.
我在这里给你跪下了 布赖恩
I'm on the bones of me arse here, Brian.
你知道我没有枪 对吧
You know I haven't got a gun, don't you?
我不得不把它卖♥♥了
I had to sell it.
我很遗憾
Sorry to hear that.
我在店家后面的垃圾桶里捡三明治吃
I eat sandwiches from the bins at the back of Hammonds.
从来没有好吃的口味
It's never the good ones.
每次都是蛋黄酱的 太难吃了
It's always egg mayonnaise. It's horrible.
我得走正规渠道 我帮不了你
I have to go through the proper channels - my hands are tied.
你是说你做不了
You are saying you are out.
恐怕是这样
I'm afraid so.
失陪了
'Scuse me.
我会做的
I'll do it.
我会给你提供所有资金
I'll make you an offer for all the money.
-但我有个交换条件 -又来了
- But I'm going to need something in return. - Oh, here we go!
一手交出来 另一手又收回 什么事
Gives with one hand, takes with the other. What is it?
我想让你帮我杀了谢丽尔
I want you to kill Cheryl for me.
好 需要什么时候解决
0K. When do you need it done by?
不 我不喜欢用LGBT 太有限了
Oh, no, I don't like to use LGBT - it's too limiting.
女同性恋 男同性恋 双性恋与跨性别者的首字母缩写
那你喜欢用什么缩写
What acronym do you prefer?
我喜欢的缩写跟"缩写"这个词的拼法一样
The acronym I prefer is ACRONYM.
意思是"积极思考变性或尚未决定性别"
Actively Considering Reassignment Or Not Yet Made Your Mind Up.
赶紧 科利尔 快踢[被♥插♥入]啊
Come on, Collier, get stuck in!
用力
Give it some welly!
抱歉 我们还没正式介绍过
Sorry, we've not met properly.
泰瑞·韦伯斯特 体育主管
Terry Webster, head of PE.
沃尔夫·利普 [德国]杜伊斯堡女王
Wolf Lipp, Queen of Duisburg.
你回罗伊斯屯做什么
So what brings you back to Royston Vasey?
我回来是为了
Oh, I just came back to...
会会老朋友
dig up some old friends.
裁判
Oh, referee!
他乱吹哨[免费吸屌♥]
He's blowing for nothing!
真的吗 免费
Really? For nothing?
哪一位是她
Which one is she?
我的天啊
Jesus Christ!
黑色通常都好显瘦的啊
And black is usually so slimming!
去截他啊[插♥进♥去] 琼斯
Get into him, Jonesy!
我的天 这防守[内♥射♥]真是令人震惊
For God's sake! The marking's shocking.
是啊 那是个问题
Ja, marking can be a problem.