凯莉日记（2013）

The Carrie Diaries S02E09

Part 4 Feb. 23, 2022, 10:46 a.m.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think someone is trying
正准备往那边的花瓶里尿尿
to pee in that vase over there.
你
Hey, you!
就是你那里不是厕所
You! That's not a bathroom!
正当我试图
As I tried to smooth over
平息家中发生的惨剧时
the disaster that had become my house,
哈伦和拉丽莎的事情
things were going surprisingly smoothly
却惊人地顺利
between Harlan and Larissa.
整个事件真是进展神速啊
Dare I say, we are flying through this.
我就跟你说过不会那么麻烦的
I told you this would be painless.
条款第38项
On to clause 38
双方同意定时进行
both parties agree that there will be...
性行为
sexual intercourse
每逢周二周四周五
every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday,
和周六的早上八点三十分
and Saturday mornings at 8:30 A.M.
我更喜欢用"性♥爱♥"这个词
I prefer the term "Carnal lovemaking."
别忘了还有周日下午五点
And don't forget Sundays at 5:00 p.M.
除非有巨人队球赛
Unless the Giants are playing.
就等到赛后再做
Then it should be after the game,
就算有加时赛也一样
even if there's overtime.
好的我就这样添加注释
Okay. I will note it as such.
如果任意一方无法满足上述要求
Uh, if either party fails to meet said requirement,
就会违反配偶责任
they will be in breach of the spousal duties
及其义务的条款
and responsibilities clause.
好极了
Perfect.
很好下面是条款第39项
Swell. Moving on to clause 39.
在哈伦做出任何不忠行为的情况时
In the event that Harlan commits any act of infidelity,
拉丽莎将会得到一只小虎崽
Larissa will accept one baby tiger as penance
作为他不道德的惩罚
for his wrongdoing?
好像很合理
Seems equitable.
等一下你应该知道
But wait. You, you know that
哈伦不可能真的给你买♥♥个小虎...
Harlan can't actually buy you a baby...
我有关系
I know people.
好吧那么现在
All right. Uh, that concludes
协议中关于忠诚的部分就完成了
the fidelity portion of the agreement.
最后一部分离婚条件下
Last up--the division of marital assets
婚姻资产的分配
in the case of divorce.
不管发生什么事沃霍尔的画都归我
No matter what happens, I keep all my Warhols.
当然了而且我的跑车全归我
Of course. And I get to keep my race cars.
虽然没有明说但也该写清楚
Mm, goes without saying, but should be in writing.
我要保留我那些外国兰花
I keep my collection of exotic orchids.
我要保留我收藏的国际黄♥片♥
And I keep my international porn collection.
如果我们分手我会想念它们的
Oh, uh, I'll miss that if we break up.
如果我们分开
And if we split up,
我要我那套完美的单身汉公♥寓♥
I get to keep my gorgeous bachelor pad.
抱歉甜心但是...
I'm sorry, sweetheart, but...
你必须要搬出去
you're gonna have to move out.
绝对不可能
Under no circumstances.
你说什么
Come again?
如果我们离婚的话你要我的公♥寓♥吗
But if we divorce, you want to keep my apartment?
当然不
Absolutely not.
我就不打算搬进去
I have zero intention of moving in there at all.
如果你以为我要搬进你那阁楼里...
Well, if you think I'm moving into your loft...
别搞笑了
Don't be ridiculous.
等等...
Uh, wait...
你是想和哈伦
Are you expecting that you and Harlan
一起弄一套新房♥子吗
will get a new place together?
我根本就没打算和他住在一起
I don't expect us to live together at all.
你说不住在一起什么意思
What do you mean, not live together?
不是都这样吗你要嫁给他了啊
Isn't that a given? I mean, you're marrying him.
对我来说并不是
Not for me, it isn't.
我不跟他一起住
I will not live with him.
你在说什么
What the hell are you talking about?
-派对很酷 -是啊谢谢你能来
- Cool party. - Sure. Thanks for coming.
我是斯格特
I'm Scott.
很好
Great.
尼克的朋友
Nick's friend.
你在餐厅里请我们来的
You invited us at the diner.
是啊对
Right. Right.
你和尼克一起来的吗
You here with Nick?
他说会晚点到
He said he's coming a little later.
好吧很好
Oh. Okay, cool.
你怎么认识尼克的
So how do you and Nick know each other?
我们一起在大卫中学踢足球
Uh, we played soccer together at Davis Middle.
从那以后就成哥们儿了
We've been buds ever since.
尼克喜欢体育吗
Oh. Nick's into sports?
现在不那么喜欢了
Not so much anymore,
除非你把参加派对也当成运动
unless you consider partying a sport.
我就喜欢这种类型
That's the only kind I like.
谁会喜欢为让你满身大汗的活动喝彩呢
Who wants to get all rah-rah over something that makes you really sweaty?
我还环城跑所以...
I run cross-country, so...
那你可逊毙了
Then you're lame.
你说得好像真是那么回事儿似的
You say it like it is.
如果你觉得不开心的话不用非和我说话
You don't have to talk to me if it bugs you.
不我很喜欢我是说我环城跑
No! I like it. I mean, I run cross-country,
也没有什么好喝彩的
so it's not really all rah-rah.
更像是...
It's more like...
边探索边静静心
zoning out while exploring.
实际上感觉挺平静的
It's actually kind of peaceful.
听起来不错
That sounds nice.
另外也能让我保持头脑清醒
Plus it keeps my head clear,
我还参加了很多课外活动
which can get... pretty cloudy
头脑有时候挺混乱的
with all my other, uh, extracurricular activities.
说到混乱
Speaking of cloudy,
尼克拿着派对礼物来了
here comes Nick with the party favors.
斯格特
Hey, Scott.
你好啊尼克很高兴你能来
'Sup, Nick? Glad you could make it.
我也是派对看起来很狂野啊
Me, too. Looks like a wild party.
我们也开始吧
How about we start it off right?
要布朗尼吗
Brownie?
当然
Sure!
说清楚这可是大♥麻♥布朗尼
Just to be clear, these are pot brownies.
没事儿跑步小伙
No doy, runner boy.
你会招架不住的
You'll be so destroyed.
谢谢
Thanks.
-要命 -怎么了
- Holy crap. - What's up?
没什么马上回来别动
Nothing. Be right back. Don't move.
你在这儿啊
There you are.
是啊我在这儿
Yep, here I am.
天啊我觉得我要吐了
Oh, man. I think I'm gonna be sick.
我家现在像是罗马剧场的出入口
Dealing with the vomitorium that has become my home.
我很抱歉不能和你共享今晚了
Look... I'm sorry I couldn't make tonight work.
-我很想你 -我知道我也很想你
- I missed you. - I know. I've missed you, too.
但是既然你都回来了就没必要着急了
But since you're back, there's no need to rush.
我们有的是时间在一起
We've got time together.
是的但是...
Yeah, but...
你在担心什么事情吗
Is something bothering you?
凯莉
Carrie?
我们有麻烦了梅德小姐来了
We have a problem. Miss Meade is here.
梅德小姐
Miss Meade?
你好我很喜欢你的羊毛衫
Hi. Um... I-I like your cardigan.
别跟我套近乎
Oh. Oh, don't you "hi" me.
你们的爸爸就离开一晚上
Your father leaves you alone for one night,
你们就这么放肆
and you go and do this.
你们俩麻烦大了
You girls are in so much trouble.
不是看起来这样
It's not what it looks like.
-看起来像是一个派对 -这倒是真的
- Well, it looks like a party. - Well, that's actually true.
-妈妈 -如果你能听我们
- Mom? - But if you just listen to us
-说一说 -听你们说为什么
- for one second. - Listen to you? Why?
我们可以解释
We can explain.
你们跟你们父亲解释吧