如果还有明天（2010）

The Big C S03E04

Part 1 Sept. 3, 2022, 2:08 p.m.

《如果还有明天》前情提要
Previously on the big c...
这是谁 -乔伊·克莱曼
Who's this? - Joy Kleinman.
人生导师癌症康复患者
Life coach, cancer survivor,
以及快乐学家
and joyologist.
大家好探险家们
Hello, voyagers!
好啊乔伊
Hi, Joy.
我是博主啦我看到了天堂之光
I am a blogger. I saw the light.
你说故事很有一套
You have a knack for storytelling.
你得好好利用啊 -谢谢
You gotta use that. - Thank you.
小凯西将永垂不朽
Baby cathy is gonna live forever.
你喜欢跟伟立泡鸳鸳浴是不是
Oh, you like it in here with Willy, don't you?
我在做同性电♥话♥性♥爱♥这一行
I'm running gay phone sex business.
我在考虑参加一个圣经小组
I'm thinking about checking out a bible group.
对上帝的敬畏是永恒不朽的
Respect for god, that's everlasting.
明天你还来吗艾利克西斯
Are we gonna see you morrow, Alexis?
差不多吧
Most likely.
希望你们找到通往快乐的道路
I want all of you to find your joyful path.
当你找到生命中那些最快乐的时刻
You might be surprised at what is
也许自己都会大吃一惊
your most joyful moment.
我想再要个孩子
I want another baby.
季第四集
还有明天
第三
如果
还有明天
如果
保罗
Paul?
保罗
Paul?
保罗
Paul?
保罗保罗 -天哪
Paul! Paul! - Oh, god!
没事我...没事亲爱的
No, I'm-- I'm okay, honey.
这还真...真不怪我
It's so...so not my fault.
我高♥潮♥的时候说不出话来天哪
I can't cum and talk at the same time, Jesus
我刚都以为你死掉了
I thought you were dying.
你觉不觉得很疯狂
Do you think it's crazy
我们这样还要领养个婴儿
that we're talking about adopting a baby?
不会
No.
让我觉得疯狂的是滚完床单
What I think is crazy is what a turn off
就聊孩子竟然会这么"泻火"
it is talk about babies after sex,
虽然讽刺的是不滚床单就生不出孩子
even though ironically that's how you get babies.
我必须承认
I must admit,
尽管乔伊·克莱曼那种
as annoying as that
静修方式挺讨人嫌
Joy Kleinman retreat was,
不过倒也真的让我们感觉更好了
it really did lead us to a good place.
可不是嘛
Tell me about it.
自从她推荐了我的网站
Ever since she thumbs-upped my site,
天啊博客的访问量就与日俱增
my god, I've had so many readers come to the blog.
世界各地哪的人都有
I mean, people from all over the world.
有位中国的女士今天还在博客里留言了
This lady from China posted on the site today.
真是难以置信
Can you believe that?
太棒了 -是啊
Oh, that's great. - I know
就好像我说的那些话还是有分量的
It's as if what I'm saying, I mean, it really matters.
是不是亲爱的
You know, honey?
你懂我意思吗亲爱的
You know what I mean, honey?
好的我会让你的春梦成真老兄
Yeah, I'll make all your dreams come true, buddy.
只需告诉我您的信♥用♥卡♥账号♥
You just give me your credit card number
我先把那紧身牛仔裤脱了
while I pull my big ole nine-incher
亮出那久经沙场的家伙事儿
out of my tight True Religions.
好的 019 268...
Okay, 0-1-9-2-6-8...
操♥你♥妈♥的
Fuck you!
伟立·万艾可又是你
Oh, is this Willy Wanker again?
说真的老哥你得找点正经事干
Seriously, dude, you need to get a life.
我本来有事干都被你这贱♥货♥搅黄了
I had a life, butt whistle, and you stole it.
你要是不把这电♥话♥号♥码还我
And if you don't give me my phone number back,
我对天发誓
I swear to god
要把你这双傻♥逼♥粉色女式拖鞋
I will foist those stupid pink lady slippers
塞你那脏兮兮的屁♥股♥里
up your dirty derriere.
是吗那我倒要看看...
Oh yeah? I'd love to see--
这叫反向号♥码查找蠢货
It's called reverse phone lookup, jackass.
我的上帝啊
Jesus christ.
我还以为你是个龌龊邋遢汉
I pictured you less dapper.
我还以为你是个帅气美男子
And I piured you better looking.
看来我俩都没能猜对
Guess we were both wrong.
瞧瞧瞧瞧瞧瞧瞧瞧
Well, well, well, we, well,
真是个垃圾堆
This is a real shit-hole.
听着我可一直耐着性子
Look I've been patient,
但你越来越过分了伟立
but this is getting silly, Willy.
别再来骚扰我了
You gotta stop harassing me.
你自己心知肚明我是光明正大地
You know as well as I do I came by this business
步入这行的
fair and square.
光明正大
Fair?
就因为我晚了一会儿交电♥话♥费
You call it fair that just because I was
你就接手了我的热♥线♥
a millisecond late paying my phone bill
还盗用我的身份
you were able to inherit my hotline
这叫光明正大吗
and steal my identity?
没有任何人可以取代我
No one can do me but me.
那为什么我假扮你的这个月
Then how come in the month since I've been you,
每周来电数从15通上涨到80通
my weekly phone calls have gone up from 15 to 80?
有这么多 -是的
That many? - Yeah.
你能接到这些来电还不是因为我
You only received these calls because of me.
我一手打造的伟立·万艾可你欠我的
I invented Willy Wanker. You owe me.
是这样吗
Oh, do I?
iMac是史蒂夫·乔布斯发明的吗
Did Steve Jobs invent the iMac?
不是
No.
脸谱网的点子是马克·扎克伯格想到的吗
Did Mark Zuckerberg come up with the concept for Facebook?
不是
No.
但是不是正因为有了他们的商业头脑
But did they both have the business savvy
才能让这些点子不断精进
to make those ideas 1,000 times better,
最后使上述发明获得丰厚回报是的
and therefore reap the rewards of said creations? Yes!
认命吧老兄
Face it, buddy,
我就是那史蒂夫·巧不湿
I'm the Steve Blowjobs
还有那马克·扎克勃哥
and the Mark Fuckerberg
掌握着基友色情热♥线♥产业
of the gay phone sex industry.
你气急败坏
You're just pissed off
不就因为我这个伟立·万艾可
'cause I'm a better Willy Wanker
比你的出色得多
than you will ever be.
你省省吧
Oh, please.
请详述"柠檬蛋丸"的操作步骤
Name the steps of a lemon baller.
揉搓舔舐拨弄吸吮
Twist, lick, finger, suck.
也被称作"龙舌兰"
Also known as the tequila
玩一次"冰封屁♥眼♥"后效果更佳
and very nice after a round of ass-cubing.
"冰封屁♥眼♥" 那是什么
Ass-cubing, what's that?
商业机密
Trade secret.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Damn you!
好吧既然你不肯还我身份
Fine, you won't give me back my identity,
我就盗取你的
I'll steal yours.
这敢情好因为我根本没有
Whoa, well, seeing as how I don't have
驾驶执照或是信♥用♥卡♥
a driver's license or a credit card
这里大部分信件还都是寄给一个死去的女人的
and most of that mail belongs to a dead woman,
不得不说你真背到家了
I'd say your shit out of luck.
不过看开点吧
Hey, but look on the bright side.
日落休闲装正在进行年度特卖♥♥
Sunset casual is having their annual sale.
拿回我电♥话♥号♥码之前
I refuse to leave these premises
我绝不会离开此地
unless I get my phone line back.
那祝你在大街上睡得舒服
Then have fun sleeping outside.
我定会灭了你
I will destroy you.
碳水化合物
Carbs.
我误了操蛋的校车
I missed the stupid bus.
你能载我去学校吗
Can you drive me to school?
不行我要迟到了
No, I'm going in late.
我和你♥爸♥爸约了人
Your father and I have an appointment.
你可以跟我一起走
You can walk with me,
但你得帮我拿非洲社团的
but you have to help me carry