硅谷

I'm not sitting this summer.
当然 真是难以置信
Of course. Incredible.
你为何事所恼 盖文
What's weighing on you, Gavin?
贾里德·邓恩今天辞职加入了魔笛手
Jared Dunn quit today to join Pied Piper.
我恨理查德·亨德里克斯
I hate Richard Hendricks,
那个魔笛手小杂种
that little Pied Piper prick.
我不应该这么想吗
Is... is that wrong?
恨意若在平凡人手中 也许是错的
In the hands of a lesser person, perhaps.
但若掌握在有智慧的人手里
But in the hands of the enlightened,
恨意可以作为工具 带来巨大改变
hate can be a tool for great change.
您还是如此睿智
You're right once again.
音响系统 播放约翰·列侬的《想象》
AUDIOUS, play John Lennon's "Imagine."
提示 小屋中的约翰·韦恩 未找到
Cueing, John Wayne in a mansion. Not found.
-妈的 -指令无效
- Fuck! - Invalid command.
妈的
Fuck!
使用你的愤怒 门徒 使用它
Use the anger, chela. Use it.
谢谢你来与我们谈话 吉尔弗约尔
Uh, thanks for sitting down like this, Gilfoyle.
我们都知道这有点奇怪
We know it's kind of a little weird.
那么...你能大概给我介绍一下
So, um... can you kind of catch me up on
你觉得你在公♥司♥里的职责是什么
what you see as your role in the company?
你都做些什么
What do you do?
我都做些什么
What do I do?
系统架构 网络及安全
System architecture. Networking and security.
在这方面这屋里没人能比得上我
No one in this house can touch me on that.
很好 多谢赐教
OK, that's good to know.
但有人会对此表示感激吗
But does anyone appreciate that?
当你在莎拉劳伦斯学院忙着辅修性别研究
While you were busy minoring in gender studies
[美国纽约州著名文理学院]
哼着小曲的时候
and singing a capella at Sarah Lawrence,
我在获取美国国♥家♥安♥全♥局服务器的根权限
I was gaining root access to NSA servers.
点下鼠标就能发起第二次伊朗伊♥斯♥兰♥革命
I was one click away from starting a second Iranian revolution.
[伊朗伊♥斯♥兰♥革命 又称1979年革命
伊朗君主政体被推♥翻♥ 成立了伊♥斯♥兰♥共和国]
其实我读的是瓦萨学院
I actually went to Vassar.
[瓦萨学院 美国纽约州另一所著名文理学院]
我能阻止跨站脚本攻击
I prevent cross-site scripting,
我监视着分布式拒绝服务攻击
I monitor for DDOS attacks,
紧急的数据库回滚和错误的事件处理
emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings.
互联网 听说过吧
The Internet... heard of it?
每分钟传输千兆字节的数据
...transfers half a petabyte of data every minute.
你知道那是如何实现的吗
Do you have any idea how that happens?
你每天在线看的那些小黄♥片♥
All those YouPorn ones and zeroes streaming directly
是如何发送到你那个小破智能手♥机♥里的呢
to your shitty, little smart phone day after day?
还有那些无法在12秒内下到最新史奇雷克斯
Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can't get
新电子混音曲就要尿了的傻♥逼♥们
the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds?
那并不是魔法 那是天赋与汗水
It's not magic, it's talent and sweat.
我这样的人保证了你的数据包
People like me, ensuring your packets
完好无损的送达 所以我都做些什么
get delivered, un-sniffed. So what do I do?
我保证了整个公♥司♥不会因为
I make sure that one bad config on one key component
核心组件中的一个错误设置而毁于一旦
doesn't bankrupt the entire fucking company.
我他妈就是干这个的
That's what the fuck I do.
我基本也是这么跟他说的
That's basically what I told him.
听着 无论最后结果如何
Listen, wherever we end up here...
我只是想说我认为
...I just wanna say that I feel
我应当比迪尼希获得更多股份
I should get more equity than Dinesh.
我知道吉尔弗约尔肯定过来跟你们
I know Gilfoyle probably came in here
说了一堆技术术语
and puked out a bunch of tech specs,
但其实四分之三都是狗屁
three-fourths of which are total horse-shit.
他提到伊朗革命了吗
Did he bring up the Iranian Revolution thing?
那些都毫无意义
Yeah, those words mean nothing.
但事实是
But here's a fact:
我是这些小丑里面唯一会用Java编程的
I'm the only one of these clowns that can code in Java.
我还能用性能稳定启动快速且能够
And I write sleek performant low-overhead Scala code
在任何环境下运行的的Scala语言
with higher order functions that will run on anything.
[Scala语言 基于Java平台的多范式编程语言 集成面向对象编程和函数式编程的各种特性]
句号♥ 讲完了 也就是说
Period. End of sentence. So basically,
我的贡献比吉尔弗约尔大
I think whatever equity I get,
这要在我的股份上有所体现
it should reflect that I contribute more than Gilfoyle.
-这感觉怪怪的 -对啊 我知道
- This sounds weird. - I know, right? It's...
-每个人都要做 -吉尔弗约尔做了吗
- Everybody's been doing it. - Gilfoyle did this?
只是走个形式 帮我了解你们
It's just a formality, to get me caught up.
你认为自己在魔笛手团队中有什么价值
So what makes you of value to the Pied Piper team?
编程吧
Programming.
也许吧 我很会写代码
I guess... pretty good at code,
开♥发♥算法 诸如此类
develop algorithms... so forth.
与理查德发明的算法不同吗
Different from the type of algorithm Richard created?
是啊 他的甩我几条街
Well, yeah. Like, not as good.
理查德是十倍速 我也就勉强一倍速
Richard's a 10X-er, I'm, like, barely an X-er.
我很逊
I kinda suck.
你被轰了 接下来
Smoked you. And now...
-别太过分 -来个蘑菇章
- Don't be a dick. - Mushroom stamp!
-你过分了 -盖好了 记得给你妈看噢
- You're being a dick. - There you go. Show that to your mom.
蘑菇章 好梗
Mushroom stamp! That's great.
你们认为贾里德怎么样 烂透了对吧
Hey, what do you guys think about this Jared? He's shit, right?
不 他其实挺厉害的
No, he's pretty sharp.
是啊 他能做我们做不了的事
Yeah, he does shit that no one else in the house can do.
是啊 但他总装得自己好像无所不能
Yeah, but he's a know it all.
我们的小庙装不下他
I don't think there's room in here for him.
等理查德甩掉大头以后就装得下了
Well, there will be after Richard gets rid of Big Head.
等等 理查德要甩掉大头 为什么
Wait, Richard's getting rid of Big Head? Why?
听着 我们都爱大头
Listen, we all love Big Head.
但事实是他编程没有我好
But, the truth is he's not as good of a coder as I am,
搭建系统没有吉尔弗约尔强
not as good at system architecture as Gilfoyle,
犯浑没有你厉害 无意冒犯
not as good at being a prick as you, no offense.
他所有事都不在行 没什么贡献
He's a lightweight at everything. Brings nothing to the table.
让他分一杯羹就像在侮辱我们
Him getting points would be a big "Fuck you" to all of us.
-但他是个好人 -人好 但没用
- But he's a great guy. - Great guy. But useless.
是啊 他是个好人 不像那个贾里德
Yeah, he is a great guy. Not like that Jared.
这点我们倒是可以达成一致
At least we can all agree on that.
我也不知道
Yeah, I don't know.
我和理查德好像一直是共同进退
Me and Richard have just always kinda like been in this together, you know?
共同进退 但只是想弄清楚
Together, right. But to be clear,
理查德是自己发明的那个算法 对吧
Richard created the algorithm on his own, yes?
对啊 跟我没有任何关系
Oh, yeah, I had nothing to do with that.
-他是我最好的朋友 -那倒是真的
- He's my best friend. - That's true.
确实 你们的感情确实很深厚
Yes. The camaraderie is quite apparent.
但彼得·格里高利要的是一个精简
But Peter Gregory demanded a lean,
无情的商业计划
ruthless business plan.
我想微软的首席执行官
And I don't think that
可不会给好朋友开工资
the CEO of Microsoft has a paid best friend.
谢尔盖·布林就付了 拉里啥都不会
Sergey Brin does. Larry doesn't do shit.
[两人均为谷歌♥创始人]
你看
See?
就让大头做一个
What if Big Head is sort of like
流动人员呢 就像多面手
a floating utility player? Kinda like a jack of all trades.
但他自己也承认 他更像是无为大♥师♥
But by his own admission, he's really more like a master of none.
确实是 确实如此
That's true. That is true.
通常人们不会给这样一个人
Which is not something you'd generally
分配日后可能估值达
reward with several points in what may some day be
数十亿美元公♥司♥的股权
a multi-billion dollar company.
彼得·格里高利绝不会同意的
This will never fly with Peter Gregory.
我现在可不想当理查德
I would not want to be Richard right now.
必须告诉大头他得走人了
Having to tell Big Head that he's out.
我这么说可能听起来很恶毒
This is gonna sound super mean,
但有一天晚上他在睡觉
but the other night he was sleeping,
我盯着他的脸
I was just staring at his face.
我能想到的只有 他真是太没用了
All I could think was, "He's utterly useless."
大头是个一无是处的人
Big Head is a man with zero purpose.
-你好 大头 -你好
- Oh, hi. Hi, Big Head. - Hey.
进展如何
How's it going?
现在看来 很不错
It's... super good... right now.
我去骑一小会儿自行车
Um, I'm just going to maybe go for a bike ride real fast
清理一下思绪
and clear my... head.
回头 见