夜色（2016）

Nightcap S01E09

Part 1 May 24, 2021, 8:55 a.m.

我喜欢你的围脖
I liked you neck scarf.
谢谢
Well, thank you.
我原创的
It's my own creation.
用儿子的婴儿毯和老婆的尼龙连裤♥袜♥
I combined my son's baby blanket and my wife's sheer nylon
织的超级骄傲哦
panty hose, pretty proud of it.
今天晚上我们会有一♥期♥超棒的节目
Well, we're gonna have a great show tonight.
为什么呢? 因为我们请到了保罗路德
Why? Because we have Paul Rudd.
全美最风趣幽默的人
Funniest man in America.
温蒂威廉姆斯也来了是的女王
We have Wendy Williams. Yes, queen.
史黛西我有比今天晚上谁是嘉宾
Uh, Staci, I have something more important to discuss
更重要的事情要商量
than who's on tonight's show.
好奇死宝宝我了
The suspense is killing me.
我准备了幻灯片的展示报告
I prepared a PowerPoint presentation.
哦上帝
Oh, Jesus.
"当今时代最为伟大的传记"
"The Great Biopics Of Our Time,"
《马尔科姆艾克斯》《雷》
"Malcolm X." "Ray."
《最后的苏格兰王》
"The Last King of Scotland."
《欢乐满人间》
"Mary Poppins."
我可是给你们提供了这么好的机会
I got a great opportunity for you guys.
吉米我们的主持人也就是我们的头儿
Jimmy, our host and Capitan,
在制♥作♥他自己的传记影片
is making a biopic about himself.
真是个自恋的傻♥逼♥
What a fucking narcissist.
- 好了托德到底什么事儿? - 就是为这电影出点儿钱
- Okay, Todd, what is this? - Well, to pay for the movie,
吉米设了个众筹主页
Jimmy set up a crowd-funding page
给工作人员们提供了机会...
and he is offering the staff a chance to...
- 来捐钱 - 什么?
- contribute some money. - What?
根据会计多琳的说法
According to Doreen in accounting,
吉米一年赚六百万美元呢
Jimmy makes $6 million a year,
他怎么能让我们捐钱他自己的钱去哪儿了?
so where does he get off asking us to donate money?
不是捐助是 "投资"
Oh, not donate. Its, um, "invest."
他不能找其他的富豪们要吗?
Can't he just ask for money from other rich people?
不行
No.
他不能那么做
He cannot.
这是一部独♥立♥制片的电影
This is an indie movie.
是未经授权的电影版本
It's an unauthorized version.
他已经把有授权的版本卖♥♥了
He already sold the authorized version
换了不少钱我是说很棒
for butt tons of money. I mean, it was great.
嘿我正问你们呢
Hey, I'm asking you.
吉米我们老板也是我们的救世主
Jimmy, our boss and savior,
在请求你们...
is asking you...
挖掘一下你们内心深处
to please dig deep.
好吗?
Okay?
力所能及地捐助
Contribute what you can.
钱包里有啥捐啥好吗?
Donate whatever's in your wallets. All right?
支持一下艺术谢谢你们
And support the arts. Thank you.
只要它不是再版
Well, as long as its not a reexamination
"彼·得潘"童话故事
of the "Peter Pan" tale
或者一些大屠♥杀♥的电影我就投
or another Holocaust movie, I'm in.
我确定电影与纳粹相关
Pretty sure there's a Nazi in it.
我还是会投
I'm still in.
你们的钱呢?
Where's your money?
我们在纽约城中心的9B演播室
From studio 9-B in the heart of New York City,
为您带来本期《吉米睡帽秀》
it's "Nightcap with Jimmy."
谁说男主角不能是搞笑的?
Tonight, who says leading men can't be funny?
今晚有请保罗路德
Paul Rudd is here.
你好吗? 温蒂威廉姆斯
How you doin'? Wendy Williams.
还有会自撸的北极熊
A visit from the masturbating polar bear.
现在让我们有请收视率排名第五
And now, the man who's number five in the ratings
但在我们心中永远第一的
but number one in our hearts.
吉米
Here's Jimmy.
请随意就当是自己家
All right, make yourselves at home.
谢谢
Thank you.
这里面的东西都是什么?
What's in all of these things?
- 我的假发 - 哦
- My wigs. - Oh.
嗨温蒂欢迎来到 "睡帽秀"
Hi, Wendy. Welcome to "Nightcap."
- 我是潘妮 - 你好潘妮
- I'm Penny. - Hi, Penny.
你的手很冰还很湿润
Your hands are really cold and clammy.
- 哦谢谢 - 好了
- Oh, thank you. - Okay.
从我高中之后我就没见过这么多假发了
Man, I haven't seen this many wigs since high school.
我当时在一个酒吧外面的垃圾场干活那酒吧伪娘聚集
I worked in a dump right outside of a drag queen bar.
我超爱假发温蒂你居然有这么多
I love wigs and, Wendy, you have so many.
今天晚上的节目你准备穿什么呢?
What are you gonna wear on the show tonight?
我不知道今晚节目上
I don't know which one I'm gonna choose
要挑哪一件穿你懂这种心情吧
for the show tonight.You know how that is.
- 懂咯妹子嘛 - 哦妹子!
- I know, girl. - Oh, girl!
好了我先走了你能和你朋友放松一下
Okay, well, I'm gonna leave you to relax
之后我再来
with your ladies and I'll be back.
谢谢你拜潘妮
Thank you. Bye, Penny.
谢谢你菲尔
Thank you, Phil.
哦
Oh.
我还从没给过
I've never.
我要的不是小费
I didn't want a tip,
我就是想来个不怎么兴奋的击掌
I just wanted a low-five.
不过要是把钱还给你就有失风度了
But it'd be tacky to give it back now,
所以我就收下了给自己去买♥♥杯咖啡
so I'm just gonna take it and get myself a cup of coffee.
你们必须加入
You guys gotta get involved.
这部电影是一部史诗般的作品大写字母是...
This movie's gonna be epic with a capital...
- E - 对 E!
- E.- E!
好了我一点儿也不怀疑这部电影会是
Well, I have no doubt this movie will be
个烂片但是我会投资的
unwatchably bad, but I'm going to invest,
因为就过去来说再糟糕的产品只要标上吉米的名字
because every awful product Jimmy has ever put his name on
- 都会挣一大笔钱 - 对
- has made a ton of money. - Yeah.
就像原来那些大♥麻♥动力电池
Those hemp-powered batteries.
- 夜光苏打水 - 正是
- The glow-in-the-dark soda. - Exactly.
所以虽然我根本看不上吉米
So though I do not respect Jimmy,
我还是非常钦佩他从傻♥逼♥手里敛财的本事的
I respect his ability to con money out of idiots
- 我也是 - 是啊
- Me, too. - Yeah.
- 好了 - 不错
- All right. - Great.
我们会作为投资者加入的
So we're in as investors.
- 我们是投资二人组 - 没错
- We're an investing duo. - Yeah.
好你们要出多少钱?
All right. How much can I put you down for?
- 额... - 钱啊
- Uh... - Oh, money.
你有多少钱?
How much money do you have?
你们要干吗接吻吗?
What, you gonna kiss?
我们没接吻我们在开业务会谈
We're not kissing, we're having a business meeting.
- 我们有两千五... - 对
- We have 2,500... - Yeah.
我们用比特币支付
And we will be paying in Bitcoin.
哇奥谢了兄弟们
Whoa! Thank you, guys.
- 当然 - 好了我会记下来
- Absolutely. - All right, I'll mark it down.
这种聚会我可不想参加
Oh, here's a gathering I want no part of.
无论如何我觉得我们刚刚在这儿说定了
Okay, well, I think we were just about done here anyway.
所以先生 - 先生
So, sir. - Sir.
托德
Todd.
史黛西我有些非常有趣的
Oh, Staci, I got something really fun
- 事情需要你做 - 哦是吗? 什么事儿?
- for you to do. - Oh, yeah? What?
今天晚上的节目吉米想要你
On tonight's show, Jimmy wants you to get
利用保罗路德推广一下那个众筹项目
Paul Rudd to promote the crowd-sourcing page.
- 知道吗? 为了吉米的电影 - 恩恩
- Right? For Jimmy's movie. - Mm-hmm.
- 这对我怎么有趣了? - 当然你得告诉
- How's that fun for me? - Well, you get to tell
保罗路德他将会在电影里扮演吉米本人
Paul Rudd that he's gonna play Jimmy in the movie.
首先竟然让保罗路德
Okay, first of all, it's ridiculous
当头一个在电影里出演吉米的人
that Paul Rudd is gonna play Jimmy in a movie
- 这太荒谬了 - 我懂我懂
- in the first place. - I know. I know.
吉米才会是本色演出
Jimmy was gonna play himself, but he was like,
但是我觉得他会 "自恋到炸"
"That's super narcissistic."I happen to agree.
- 完全同意 - 恩恩这就是为什么
- I totally agree. - Yeah, so, that's why
我们让保罗路德上的原因
we gotta get Paul Rudd to do it.
我绝不会去骚扰保罗路德的
I am not gonna harass Paul Rudd.
噢千万别去骚扰他要不他就不干了
Oh, definitely don't harass him; he won't do it.
我并不想对你的工作指手画脚