夜色（2016）

Nightcap S01E06

Part 2 May 24, 2021, 8:54 a.m.

I just need time to date me, you know?
你真有意思
You're so funny.
你好斯特恩夫人
Hi, Mrs. Stern.
你好
Hi.
我是嘉宾部门的潘妮
I'm Penny from the talent department.
史黛西的助理
I'm Staci's assistant.
潘妮毛衣好棒美极了
Hi, Penny. Great sweater. It's amazing.
天哪! 要我送给你吗?
Oh, my God! Do you want it?
- 不不不不用了 - 好吧
- Oh, no, no, no, that's okay. - Okay.
非常感谢你们能让我来宣传
Thank you so much for having me on
北岸动物联盟
to promote North Shore Animal League.
真的这对我意义非凡
Really, it means so much to me to be here.
开什么玩笑? 你和你的小猫咪能来
Are you kidding? We are so excited to have you
- 我们都激动死了 - 谢谢
- and your kittens. - Thank you.
我想问下我可以见见你的小猫咪吗
I was wondering, could I possibly meet your kittens.
我是指要是它们已经来了的话它们来了吗?
I mean, if they're here already. Are they?
它们在我的更衣室里去找它们玩吧
They're in my dressing room. Go play with them.
你绝对会被它们萌死的
You're gonna die, they're so cute.
天哪! 谢谢你
Oh, my God! Thank you.
她没事吧?
Is she okay?
她平时就很爱哭
Oh, she cries a lot.
高兴也哭伤心也哭眼泪哗啦啦流个不停
Happy tears, sad tears, just a lot of tears.
你好我想见下贾森比格斯
Hello. I'm here to see Jason Biggs.
你找比格斯先生有什么事?
What's your business with Mr. Biggs?
我来... 为今晚的节目做下采访准备
I'm here to... to pre-interview him for the show tonight.
他没提过采访的事
He didn't say anything about an interview.
他来这儿就是参加采访的
Well, that's why he's here.
不你不在名单上面
Hmm. No, you're not on the list.
什么名单?
What list?
你要是在名单上就会懂的不是吗?
You'd know if you were on it, wouldn't you?
不如你伸个头进去告诉他一声
How about you just pop your head in there
我来了?
and tell him that I'm here?
J 是的有个女的好的
J, yeah, some lady. All right.
比格斯先生允许你进去见他了女士
Mr. Biggs will see you now, ma'am.
好的
Okay.
我这张照得不错
That's a good one of me.
我看着真帅啊
Ooh, I look really good there.
这张留着标记一下做个记号♥
Keep it. Mark that one. Mark that one.
天哪嗨大家好
Oh, gosh, hi. Hi, everybody.
嘿! 欢迎回来
Hey! Welcome back.
我是史黛西科尔
Staci Cole.
我...
I...
我是你第一档深夜脱口秀节目片段的制片人
I produced your first late-night talk show segment.
- 不你不是 - 我是
- No, you didn't. - Yes.
记得吗我送了你一辆自行车
Remember, I sent you a bike.
我不骑自行车
I don't ride bikes.
- 你当时又紧张又... - 不我没有
- You were nervous and... - No, I wasn't.
- 你当时还很稚嫩 - 不太可能
- You were young. - Probably not.
- 好吧 - 你来干嘛?
- Okay. - What would you like?
我来做下访前准备
Oh, I'm doing the pre-interview.
你们听到她说的了吗?
You guys hear this?
- 我不明白您的意思 - 不好意思
- I don't understand. - I'm sorry.
为什么我要做访前准备?
Why am I pre-interviewing?
从来没人要求我做过访前准备
No one makes me pre-interview.
莱特曼没有
Letterman never made me pre-interview.
赛斯也没有跟我做过访前准备
Seth doesn't make me pre-interview.
卡森在世的时候愿他安息
Carson, when he was around, God rest his soul,
也没有要求过
didn't make me pre-interview.
所以... 烦请你解释下
But... but please, enlighten me.
实际上吉米和编剧们都觉得
Actually, Jimmy and the writers thought
要是能和你一起画个素描肯定很有意思
it would be really funny to do a sketch with you.
可以可以呀你讲一下吧
Hmm, cool. Cool, let's hear it.
我们... 我们来听听让你们每周稳坐收视率第五的
Let's... let's hear the genius that keeps you guys
天才都有些什么主意吧
locked in a solid fifth place in the ratings every week.
他们觉得因为你是个大好人
They were thinking maybe because you're sort of
- 又名声在外... - 没错
- famously this really nice guy... - True.
也许你可以饰演个混♥蛋♥
That you would play an asshole.
不行
No.
不行?
No?
- 不行太恶心了 - 好吧
- No. No, that's hacky. - All right.
而且作为一个大好人
Yeah, and I am a nice guy,
要我演这个挺蠢的而且肯定行不通
so it's stupid and it doesn't work at all.
好吧没关系
Okay, that's fine.
- 那我们就不演 - 好
- Let's not do that. - Yeah.
- 要不然你上台... - 嗯
- Why don't you go out... - Yeah.
展示下比格斯的神奇魔力
And just bring some of that Biggs magic.
- 我有个点子 - 啥
- I have an idea. - Yeah.
要不然我就直接上台展示下我的神奇魔力
Why don't I just go out and bring some of my Biggs magic.
- 棒就这么办 - 好
- Great. So we can do that. - Yeah.
那我...
So I'll...
完事了吧亲爱的?
So are we good here, hon?
是的那我就...
Yes. So just, um...
我... 我的天!
Oh, my... Oh, my God!
- 我的天哟 - 你干啥啊?
- Oh, my God. - What are you doing?
- 怎么回事嘛? - 你这是干嘛啊
- What happened there? - I don't understand that.
- 你看到他干了什么吗? - 我♥干♥了什么?
- Did you see what he did? - Excuse me, what I did?
他把一瓶啤酒倒在了我...
He poured a bottle of beer on my...
- 有没搞错那不好意思咯 - 高仿的香奈儿鞋子上了
- Excuse me. I'm sorry. - Knock-off Chanel shoes.
不好意思你们看到了吗? 是我倒的吗?
Excuse me. Did you guys see? Did I?
我倒... 倒了没... 没有
What did I... did I... No.
我刚问过了我啥也没干...
I just checked, and I didn't do anything, so...
还有件事这房♥间真是烂死了
One more thing. This room is a shithole.
- 这可是豪华间 - 我需要... 不好意思
- This is a deluxe room. - And I need... sorry.
我需要找点地方给我的兄弟们坐一下
And I need a place for my peeps to sit.
- 好吧 - 我们还需要些枕头
- Oh, okay. - So we need some pillows.
松软的枕头吗?
Like loose pillows?
松软? 你为什么... 松软? 我才不管它们松不松软呢
Loose? Why are you... loose? I don't care if they're loose.
你为什么要说... 要说松软这个词?
Why'd you say... why'd you say loose?
- 不知道我们有没有耶 - 你听着就像个智障
- I don't know if we have any. - You sound like a fool.
你觉得我参加肥伦或者赛斯节目的时候要这样吗?
You think I deal with this at Fallon or Seth?
你觉得赛斯会要我亲自处理这些破事吗?
You think Seth makes me deal with this shit?
为什么... 等等为什么我要... 难道我还要给自己当制片人吗?
Why... hold up. Why am I... What, am I producing my own segment?
- 你好像... - 这可不是我该做的事
- It seems like you're... - That's not my job.
如果那是我的工作我一定会自杀
I think I would fucking kill myself if that's my job.
-我明白了 - 明白了?
- Okay. - Okay?
-恩我会去找找看 - 好吧那就去吧
- Yes, I will go see... - So let's hop to it.
看能否找到一些松软的枕头
If I can find some loose pillows.
- 他们并没有... - 你为什么一直在说松软?
- They don't have... - Why are you saying loose?
你干嘛一直在强调松软? 简直不能理解
Why do you keep saying loose? I don't understand.
不好意思
It's... I'm sorry.
麻烦让一下
Um, excuse me.
哇我最喜欢的灰色小猫咪
Whoa! My favorite gray kitten.
过来过来小宝贝
Come back, little rain cloud.
啊哦
Uh-oh.
我应该让贝丝知道她的收纳箱挡不住这些小猫了
I should let Beth know that her container is not working.
迅速清点喵数
Quick head count.
一二三
One, two, three,
四五六
four, five, six.
哦天哪
Oh, shoot.
菲尔!
Phil!
我没有做任何异常的事情
I was doing normal things.
恩好的菲尔过来一下
Okay, fine. Phil, come here.
菲尔!
Phil!
我需要你的帮助
I need your help.
我已经把所有可以躲藏的角落都试过了
Of all the corners I could have been hiding in.
快点
Hurry.
我们面临一个紧急情况
We're having an emergency.
可是我并没有枪或者其他什么武器啊
Oh, man, I don't have a gun or anything.
菲尔用不着枪
Okay, Phil, you don't need a gun for this.
有只小猫咪不见了所以我需要你的帮助
We're missing a kitten and I need your help.
可我并没有接受过任何相关的训练啊