夜色（2016）

嗨 那个
Hey, um,
你知道...那个腹语者
you... you know where the ventriloquist
把他的木偶道具放哪儿了吗?
put the puppet thing?
噢 你是说伊斯拉吗?
Oh, you mean Ezra?
严格的说他并不是木偶
He's not technically a puppet,
他只是个傀儡 现在在三号♥试衣间
he's a dummy and he's in dressing room number 3.
- 你想见他么? - 不想!
- Did you want to meet him? - No!
不 不 不 不 不
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
他不能进所有的房♥间吧?
He doesn't have access to the whole building, right?
当然 虽然他是客人
Oh, well, he is a guest,
但他不是真人
but he's not a person,
他住在手提箱里
but he lives in a suitcase.
箱子上锁了 是吧?
The suitcase has locks on it, right?
- 所以他...出不去 - 我不觉得
- So he... he can't get out. - I don't think so.
为什么?
Why?
没什么理由
No reason.
你知道的 我只是不想...
It's just, you know, I don't want...
吓到他 我也不想...
to surprise him. I don't want him...
他吓到我
to surprise me.
它只是... 只是...
You know, it's just one of th...
那些东西之一 你懂我的意思吧?
Just one of those things. You know what I mean?
乌比 我是你的狂热粉丝
Oh, Whoopi. Big fan.
谢谢你
Thanks.
不客气
I think.
乌比 戈德堡 你能来
Oh, Whoopi Goldberg, we are so excited
我们太激动了
to have you on the show.
好的 所以这是
Okay, so is this
在展示... 种族多样性?
some sort of... diversity thing?
为了让我对于自己黑人的身份之类的
To make me feel more comfortable
感到更舒服?
being black and everything?
不不 不是黑人平权运动（七月美国警♥察♥枪击黑人引发的示♥威♥活动）
No, no, no, no, no. Hashtag BlackLivesMatter.
我们刚参加了公♥司♥组织的旅游活动
Um, no, we were on a company cruise.
你们知道这样并不会减轻种族主义的
You know that doesn't make this any less racist?
对吧?
Right?
你们想来点刚切好的西瓜么?
Can I offer you guys some freshly-sliced watermelon?
不介意的话 我来一片
Don't mind if I do.
新鲜西瓜 乌比女士不来点么?
Fresh watermelon, Ms. Whoopi?
当然 谁会不喜欢西瓜?
Sure. 'Cause who doesn't like watermelon?
嗯嗯
Mm-hmm.
我想告诉你们
You know, I gotta tell you, this is really
这真的让我感到不舒服
making me a little uncomfortable.
我感觉可能我不应该
I just feel like maybe "Nightcap"
来参加《吉米睡帽秀》
is not the place I should be.
不不不 乌比
No, no, no, no, no, Whoopi.
- 请不要走 - 我考虑一下
- Please don't walk out. - I gotta think about this.
我能把西瓜带到我的休息室去么?
Do you think we could take the watermelon to my room?
- 当然! - 那确实是个更安全的环境 -
- Yes! - A safer environment.
绝逼是
Absolutely.
走吧
Let's go.
我总感觉这个秀充满了种族主义色彩
I've always felt this show was racist.
- 格雷迪! - 我明白
- Grady! - I know.
好了 我们麻烦了
Well, this is a pickle.
听我说 如果我们没了乌比...
Listen to me, if we lose Whoopi...
我们已经失去了丹尼斯 利瑞 因为他病了
we've already lost Denis Leary because he's sick,
我们就要播四十分钟的腹语表演
we're gonna have 40 minutes of a ventriloquist.
但是腹语表演很棒
But the ventriloquist is so good.
- 那也不能播四十分钟
- Not for 40 minutes. -
怎么了? 你怎么这个反应?
What? Did you see your reflection?
不不不
Whoa. No, no, no.
我一个在丹尼斯节目做事的朋友说
So my friend who works on Denis' show
丹尼斯今天正常工作 看起来好好的
said that Denis is at work today and looks fine.
- 你还有朋友? - 网友而已
- You have a friend? - She's an online friend.
她说丹尼斯还给剧组人员烤了香蕉面包
She says that he also baked banana bread for the crew.
混♥蛋♥! 我告诉你
Asshole! You know what?
我要去找丹尼斯 利瑞
I'm gonna go down to Denis Leary's set
扯下他的招牌 撕掉他的伪装 端掉他的食物 狠踹他的爱尔兰屁♥股♥
and I'm gonna grab his flat, pale, potato eating, Irish ass
拉他回来上咱们节目
and I'm gonna bring it back to our show.
不过因为这辫子 我不会这么说的
And I'm not talking like this 'cause I got cornrows.
主啊
Jesus.
让我猜猜 你害怕依斯拉
Let me guess, you're scared of Ezra.
我以前见过你这样的反应
I've seen it before.
他在喝咖啡么?
Is he drinking coffee?
如果我像对待人一样对待它
Oh, it's better for our relationship
更有利于我们的关系
if I treat him like a person.
没什么好怕的
Nothing to be scared of.
他很友好 你想碰他么?
He's a nice guy. Want to touch him?
不 我不想碰他
Nah, I don't want to touch him.
可以的 你可以碰我
Hey, it's okay. You can touch me.
我一点也不介意
I don't mind at all.
- 什么鬼? - 嘿 你要去哪?
- What? - Hey, where you going?
史黛西! 你还好么?
Staci! Are you okay?
我的天 潘妮 你在这干嘛?
Oh, my God, Penny, what are you doing here?
我觉得你可能需要精神支持
I thought you might need emotional support.
你跑的太快了
You just ran out of there so quickly
我本能的跟着你出来了
and my natural instinct was to follow you.
- 有什么问题么? - 没有
- Is that wrong? - No.
好吧 有没有都无所谓
Well, yes and no.
我知道丹尼斯 利瑞的房♥车
Look, I know Denis Leary's trailer
就在周围 我正在找它
is around here somewhere. I'm trying to find it.
我知道他在哪儿!
Oh, I know where he is!
我朋友说他在拐角那里
My friend told me he's around the corner.
去给他点教训 猛女!
Go get him, tiger!
收到
Copy that.
你要告诉他们情况有变
You tell them that the situation's changed.
卧♥槽♥ 该死的
Oh, fuck. God damn it.
- 什么? - 操蛋的利瑞
- What? - Oh, fucking Leary.
- 什么? - 我的天 看看你的头发
- What? - Oh, my God, look at your hair.
难以置信 你居然跑来了
I can't believe you came down here.
看看你的头发 你在说什么?
Look at your hair. What are you talking about?
我的头发是为了演出做的 你是弄来干嘛?
This is for a part. What's that for?
- 我来这里... - 我在演出
- I came down here... - I'm acting.
- 我是个演员 - 你取消了我们
- I'm an actor. - You cancelled on me
今天的录制
the day of the shoot!
好吧 那是... 那是... 因为我病了
Okay, well... well... because I'm sick.
- 所以... - 丹尼斯 跟我们回去
- So, that's... - Denis, we go way back, man.
你已经拒绝我们的节目N次了
You've done the show a million times.
不要装的像个好莱坞明星 真诚点
Don't be such a Hollywood guy, be honest with me.
- 拜托了 我们... - 听着 我病了
- Come on, we're... - Listen, I'm sick, okay?
我他妈的病了并且我...我本不应该出现在这里
I'm fuckin' sick and I... I shouldn't even be
但是因为这是约定好的
on my own set, but I'm doing it because
所以我不得不来
I have to be here to... you know, 'cause it's a budget thing.
听我说 如果我是你
So, like I said, if I were you,
- 我就回去 - 甜心 你是干嘛的?
- I'd back off. - What, sweetheart?
我是来给你今晚冰球比赛的票
I just have your tickets for tonight's hockey game.
你在逗我?
Are you kidding me?
波士顿棕熊队和纽约巡游者队的冰球比赛? 今晚七点?
The Bruins-Rangers game? Tonight at 7:00?
- 能听我解释么? - 你♥他♥妈♥...
- Can I explain something? - You mother...
让我解释解释
Let me explain something to you,
其...其实... 我没病
this... this is... I'm not sick.
我不... 我并不想夸耀我的慈善事业
I don't... I don't like to brag about my charity stuff.
我要带几个生病的孩子
So what I'm doing is I'm taking a couple of sick kids
去看... 是真的
to the... I am.
我要带他们一起去看...虽然他们不会死
I'm taking sick kids to the... they're not gonna die,
但是他们病的很重... 而且...
but they're very sick and... and they're...
你也知道 他们的房♥子... 他们得了红斑狼疮
you know, their house... they have lupus.
他们不能... 他们不能吃冰淇淋
They can't... They can't have ice cream,
不能吃热狗 就像...
they can't eat hotdogs, it's like...
你知道我的意思吧? 这很严重
you know what I mean? It's a big thing.
得了红斑狼疮就不能吃猪肉?
You can't eat pork if you have lupus?
我知道你不能吃... 有些忌口食物
I don't think you can eat... there's certain things