妈妈叫我警长

原来你是阿姆博士 说唱歌♥手兼制♥作♥人
You're Dr. Um, actually, the rapper/producer.
其实 是前说唱歌♥手兼制♥作♥人
Um, actually, that's former rapper/producer
或许你还知道这个身份
or as you might know me,
"伤心秃顶男孩镇"的用户"真阿姆博士"
baldboyzsadtown user drumactuallyrulez.
-我以为他只是粉丝 -确实是
- Oh, I thought he was just a big fan. - He was.
我就是自己的粉丝
He was also me.
当我一开始脱发
Once I started losing my hair,
我就回到了家里 没离开过半步
I withdrew into my home and never left.
现在有了这个秃顶药 我终于又能长出头发了
Now with this bald cure, I can finally make my comeback.
先别急
Not so fast!
-还给我 -这是给卡尔的
- Hey, give that back! - No! It's for Carl!
卡尔 接住
Carl, catch!
卡尔
Oh, Carl.
有点不对劲
Something's happening.
我的头皮感觉怪怪的
My scalp is all weird and stuff.
生效了吗
Did it work?
-没有 -没有
- No. - No.
我再也做不了音乐了
Now, I'll never make music again.
谁还会听呢 秃子吗
Who would listen to it, bald people?
当然 秃子也需要听音乐
Sure. Bald people need music, too.
-秃子专属的音乐 -没错
- Music... For bald people. - Yeah.
-我会再次变酷 -没错
- I'll be cool again. - Yeah.
这将会是我发明了最好喝的饮料之后
This'll be the best thing I've done
做过的最棒的事情
since inventing the tastiest beverage ever,
牛奶配芥末
mustard and milk.
现在 让我们来创造秃顶说唱的历史吧
Now, let's make bald rap history.
濒死的宇航员斯蒂芬斯队长
Dying astronaut Captain Stevens
刚刚进入了虫洞
has just reached into a wormhole.
队长 虫洞到底是什么
Captain, what exactly is a worm hole?
没人知道 但大多数科学家认为
Nobody knows for sure, but most scientists believe
这是穿越时空的传送门
it's a portal through time and space.
也许你可以回到过去
Maybe you can go back in time
把漏扣的皮带环补上
and not miss your belt loop
这样我就不会是杀人犯了
so I won't be a murderer.
就算在如此绝望的时刻
Even at this desperate time,
谋杀犯汤米还不忘嘲讽受害者
Tommy the murderer taunts his victim.
好了 上传完成了 走起
All right, it's finished uploading and boom!
好了 我们已经进入直播了
Okay, we're live, guys.
卡尔 准备好再次变酷了吗
Hey, Carl? You ready to be cool again?
看 有评论
Oh! Look! Some comments!
"秃头废物真垃圾 趁早自杀吧"
"Bald losers, you suck. Kill yourself."
谁写的 卡尔
Who wrote that? Carl!
抱歉 这样不适合我
Sorry. Just wasn't for me.
该死 警长
Damn it, Sheriff!
是你说服我这么做 然后让我蒙羞
You talked me into this embarrassment!
现在你去死吧
Now, you gots to die.
有遗言吗
Any last requests?
我可以试试牛奶配芥末吗
Actually, yeah, can I try some of that mustard milk?
当然
Of course.
真恶心
It's nasty!
把这句话收回去
Hey, you take that back!
我的头又不对劲了
Uh, something's happening to my head.
芥末和牛奶
The mustard and milk.
也许这就是秃顶药需要的催化剂
Maybe it was the catalyst the bald cure needed.
我的氧气要用完了
I'm running out of oxygen.
等等 里面有东西
Wait, there's something in here.
《发龙》
"Hair dragon"?
吉他形状的披萨
Guitar-shaped pizza?
粉色内♥裤♥
Pink underwear.
就这样
And there you have it,
几条内♥裤♥和一个去世的宇航员 漂浮在了外太空
some underpants and a dead astronaut.
等等 我收到了消息
Wait a second. I'm getting something.
有东西正朝他过去
Something's coming his way.
是一根 头发
It's a... Hair?
他正在返回地球
He's headed back to earth...
在一根头发上
On a hair.
问题是 他会到哪儿
The question is, where?
看来我又秃了
Guess I'm bald again.
我在哪
Where am I?
警长 这里怎么了
Sheriff? What's going on here?
没事 你那边怎么了
Not much. What's going on with you?
我们接到报♥警♥ 有人在大声
We got a report that there was some loud,
播放垃圾音乐
kind of crappy music playing.
再次抱歉 我说了这不适合我
Sorry. Again, just not for me.
斯蒂芬斯队长没死
Captain Stevens isn't dead!
太好了 我不是谋杀犯
Yay! I'm not a murderer!
斯蒂芬斯队长 你没事吧
Captain Stevens, are you okay?
现在没事了 谁救了我
I am now. Who saved my life?
是这个秃子的头发
It was a hair from that bald man.
好吧 挺酷
Oh. Cool.
卡尔 你又变酷了
Carl! You're cool again!
是吗
I am?
没错
Yeah!
你们是卡尔的新女友吗
Hey, you Carl's new girlfriends?
你告诉了她们我们有多酷吗
Did you tell them how cool we are?
我们超酷的
Hey, we're pretty cool.
没错 确实
Yes, we certainly are.
至于卡尔的那根头发
And as for Carl's hair,
没人知道虫洞会将它带到哪里去
nobody knows just where that wormhole might have taken it.
1984年 那次事件
我爱这首歌♥
I love this song.
你这是干嘛 卡尔
Hey, what'd you do that for, Carl?
说唱挺酷的 不过只会风靡一时
Rap's cool, but it's just a fad.
迷惑摇滚才会永垂不朽
Glam rock's here to stay.
不错 别担心 你很酷
Oh, that's cool. Don't worry, you're cool.
警长 想看看我的新乐队吗
Hey, Sheriff? Wanna check out my new band?
唱片就在这
The record's right over here.
去哪儿了
Hey, where'd it go?
卡尔 我给你留了一块披萨
Carl, I saved you a slice of pizza.
披萨不错
Pizza's cool.
什么 这可不对劲
Huh? That's not cool.
我的粉色内♥裤♥
My pink underwear.
-卡尔 -天哪
- Carl? - Gosh friggit!
真让人倍感压力
This is very stressful.
不要有压力 卡尔
Don't stress, Carl.
这样会脱发的
It'll make your hair fall out.
好吧 特蕾莎
Okay, Theresa.
你简直就是全宇宙最酷的女朋友了
You're the coolest girlfriend in the universe.
不好
Oh, no.
不
No.
我秃了
I'm bald.