妈妈叫我警长

Who are you, kid?!
他是我朋友甘利
This is my friend Ganly.
新来的
He's new.
听话 开始做吧
Well, behave and start building,
否则我就把你关起来
or I'm giving you detention.
快点 甘利
Come on, Ganly.
就照纳博斯老师说的做
Just do what Mr. Nabbers says.
你真是个老好人 汤米
Ugh. You're such a goodie-goodie, Tommy.
谢谢 苏西
Thanks, Suzie.
我觉得她开始喜欢我了
I think she's starting to like me.
-我开始喜欢你了 甘利 -别...
- I'm starting to like you, Ganly. - Whoa, don't...
苏西
Suzie, uh... Hey?
锯齿灯
Saw lamps?
这些是老板的货
These are boss' products.
他们是非法童工
And this is illegal child labor.
什么
What?!
行了 你要被关了
All right, you're off to detention!
-甘利 -苏西
- Ganly! - Hi, Suzie.
汤米 走开
Tommy, go away!
我不喜欢老好人
I don't want a goodie-goodie.
我喜欢坏小子
I want a bad boy.
见鬼 琳达 停...
Heck, Linda! St... Ow!
把我的曲棍球棍还给我 警长
Give me back my hockey sticks, Sheriff!
琳达 它们不是曲棍球棍
Ow! Linda, they're not hockey sticks!
这是古德曼的腿
They're Goodman's legs!
停手 否则我只能开枪了
Ow! Stop or I'll have no choice but to shoot!
你把它们还给我 否则我要让你看个漂亮的东西
You give 'em back or I'll show you something so beautiful,
它会亮瞎你的眼
it'll blind you!
有什么漂亮的东西会弄瞎我的眼
What could be so beautiful it would blind me?
我的花蕊 看
My flower! Look!
琳达 你尿尿的地方 太漂亮了
Oh! Linda, your pee-pee, it's so beautiful!
就像壮美的晚霞
It looks like a magnificent sunset
从金色神祗的眼中放射出来
radiating out from the eye of a golden god!
我的眼睛在燃烧
Ah! It's burning my eyes!
我瞎了 看不见了
I'm blind! Aah! I can't see!
胆小鬼 把我的曲棍球棍还给我
Hey, chicken, give me back my hockey sticks!
到底发生了什么
Aah! What the hell's happening?
放我出去
Let me outta here!
闭嘴 孩子 零食时间
Shut up, kid! It's snack time!
我不是孩子 我是大人
I'm not a kid, I'm a man.
我只是看起来矮 因为我的腿被锯齿灯锯掉了
I just look short, because a saw lamp cut off my legs.
你是断肢人 和我一样
You're a nubby, just like me.
-什么 -断肢人
- A what? - A nubby!
-看见没 -我的天呐 太可怕了
- See? - Oh, my good... That's pretty bad.
老板给我钱 让我利用孩子做他的产品 是吧
See, boss pays me to use kids to build his products, right?
但有一天 一个锯齿灯锯断了我的头
But one day, a saw lamp cuts my head right off.
然后医生没做好手术
Then the doctors messed up the surgery
把我的头安在了错的地方
and attached my head in the wrong place.
我在这
Peek-a-boo!
-太可怕了 -跟我说说你的情况
- Aah! Oh, that's awful! - Tell me about it.
我有个主意
Then, I got an idea.
由于我在为老板工作
Since I'm working for boss
生产锯断人四肢的产品
making stuff that cuts people's limbs off,
我可以扔掉四肢
I can get rid of the limbs
靠贩卖♥♥仿生义肢
and make a little cash on the side
赚点小钱
selling bionic limbs.
-我就知道 你偷了我的腿 -对
- I knew it! You stole my legs! - Yep.
但我会给你仿生腿
But I'm gonna get you some bionic limbs.
我那边有个骑式割草机
I got a riding lawnmower out back
会非常适合你
that'll be perfect for you.
你就不会再想念你的腿了
You're not gonna miss your legs at all.
什么 不行
What? No.
-甘利 -汤米
- Hi, Ganly. - Tommy!
把我从笼子里放出来
Let me outta this cage.
纳博斯老师是个坏人 我
Mr. Nabbers is a bad man and I...
很好 我要变坏
Oh, good. I wanna be bad.
也许纳博斯老师可以教我怎么变坏
Maybe Mr. Nabbers can teach me how.
纳博斯老师
Oh, Mr. Nabbers?!
汤米 不要 我 我
Tommy, no! I... I... uh...
你在这
Oh, there you are.
不
Oh, no.
我的货都去哪了 纳博斯老师
Hey, where the hell are all my products, Mr. Nabbers?
你为什么要加热你自己的头啊
What'd ya microwave your own brain?
我 我
Oh, I... I...
-纳博斯老师 -什么事
- Mr. Nabbers? - Huh?
你可以教我怎么变坏吗
Can you teach me how to be bad?
我以为学好是好事 但显然不是
I thought being good was good, but apparently, it's bad.
苏西喜欢坏男孩 所以变坏肯定不错
And Suzie wants a bad boy, so being bad must be good.
-等等 我很困惑 -是啊 我也是
- Wait, I'm confused. - Yeah, me, too.
你想变坏
You wanna be bad,
找个让你愤怒的东西
find something to be angry about.
你自然而然地就变坏了
It'll just come out.
走吧 汤米
Now, beat it, Tommy.
我有生意要谈
I have business to discuss.
再也没有了
Not anymore, you don't.
这个傻孩子是谁
Who's this dumb kid?
-我不是孩子 我是... -甘利
- I'm not a kid. I'm a... - Ganly?
你说如果我放你出来 你会亲我
You said you'd kiss me if I set you free.
现在亲我一个
Now, give me that sugar.
苏西 我...
Suzie, I...
甘利
Ganly?
你想亲我的苏西吗
You were trying to kiss my Suzie?
打一架 打一架 打一架
Fight, fight, fight!
是啊 为我打一架
Yeah! Fight over me!
用你的大长胳膊打他 甘利
Hit him with your big, long arms, Ganly!
什么 不行
What? No.
汤米 不行 我可以解释
Uh, Tommy, no, I can explain...
汤米
Tommy, whoa.
算了
Uh... Never mind.
我是个孩子 我想亲苏西
I'm a kid and I was trying to kiss Suzie.
手下留情
Go easy on me, now.
-扁他 -踢他屁♥股♥ 汤米
- Yeah, get him! - Kick his ass, Tommy!
不要 汤米 不要
No, Tommy! No!
别... 别再...
Not a... No, not ag...
行了 汤米 够了
Okay, Tommy, that's enough.
汤米 别
Tommy, don't!
-汤米 -我去
- Oh, Tommy! - Damn!
救我 拜托 来人
Help me, please, someone.
现在谁是坏人 贱♥人♥
Who's bad now, bitch?
感觉真好
Whoa. That felt good.
甘利 你个娘娘腔
Wow, Ganly, you're a pussy.
不像汤米 他是个坏小子
Not like Tommy. He's a bad boy.
等等 爸
Wait. Dad?
是啊
Yeah?
你刚被自己儿子暴揍了一顿
You just got beat up by your own son?
这是我所见过的
That's the most pathetic thing
最悲哀的事 古德曼
I've ever seen, Goodman.
我是副警长古德曼
That's Deputy Goodman.
什么 条子
What?! A cop!
你被捕了
And you are under arrest.
我不会进监狱
I ain't going to jail!
去死 你这头猪
Die, you pig!
警长
Sheriff?
还有我的腿
And my legs?
放下我的曲棍球棍
Let go of my hockey sticks!
我瞎了
Aah! I'm blind!
我的手臂
Aah! My arms!
哥们
Dude!
古德曼的腿安在了坏人的手臂上
不敢相信他们把你的腿安错了人 古德曼
Can't believe they put your legs on the wrong body, Goodman.
-腌黄瓜夫人 -太酷了
- Mrs. Pickles? - So cool.