妈妈叫我警长

带着你的节目上路吧
Take your show on the road,
腌黄瓜先生 死亡
"腌黄瓜夫人是恶魔" 疯外公说道
因为镇上有了新节目
'cause there's a new show in town,
领衔主演 警长
starring me, Sheriff.
-什么 -警长
- What? - Yo, Sheriff!
发生抢劫案
We got an 8-21, robbery.
调度员 前去阻止劫案
Dispatch, go stop that robbery.
我在扮演警长
I'm playing Sheriff.
别再扮演警长了
Yo, how about stop playin' Sheriff
做点警长该做的事
and be Sheriff?
我又不是你的副警长
I'm not your damn deputy.
有个副警长也不错
Oh. A deputy'd be nice.
但现在想找个靠谱的人可不容易
But it's just so hard to find a good man.
-古德曼 -什么
- Goodman! - Huh?
电♥话♥销♥售♥公♥司♥
赶紧回来
Get back up there
把这些战斧奶瓶卖♥♥出去
and sell these baby bottle battleaxes!
不 我要辞职
No! I quit!
妈妈叫我警长
第一季 第一集
老镇大会堂
给我下去 你这只邪恶的狗
Get the hell off of me, you evil puppy!
别这样 爸爸
Stop, dad!
看 腌黄瓜夫人 爸爸是副警长了
Look, Mrs. Pickles, dad's a deputy now!
好了 大家安静点
All right. Settle down, everybody.
现在 掌声有请才华横溢的市长
Now, give it up for the mayor with the flair!
绝无仅有的
The one and only,
老镇的衣食...
the bread to old town's bologna...
够了
Enough already!
第一件事 丑脸山
First order of business, dumb face mountain.
我们已经看腻这张丑脸了
We're sick of looking at its dumb face.
-去它的 -我不喜欢那座山
- Boo! - I don't like that mountain!
把它抬起来 移到另一个州
Pick it up and move it to another state!
-没错 -或者找一张大毯子盖上
- Yeah! - Or put a big rug over it!
没错
Yeah!
我是副警长古德曼
Uh, uh, deputy goodman here.
我们不能打扰这座山
We can't disturb that mountain.
-这是 -古德曼
- It's -- - Goodman.
-你疯了吗 -什么
- What, are you crazy? - What?
把帽子戴上
Get your hat back on.
没有帽子 没人会把你当回事
Nobody'll take you seriously without it.
什么
What? Uh...
总之 这座山是
Anyway, that mountain is an expression
自然之美的体现
of nature's beauty.
应该加以保护
It should be preserved.
-得了吧 -你知道个屁
- Boo! - Hey, what do you know?!
-好疼 -我说过了吧
- Ohh! - Told ya.
老镇餐厅
没什么比得上清晨的生鹿肉了
Nothing like raw deer meat in the morning!
馅饼 还有桌子
Pancakes! Mm! Table!
捕鱼枪
Spear gun!
警长 弗洛伊德把我们都捕鱼枪吃了
Sheriff, Floyd ate our speargun!
应该让弗洛伊德把那座山吃了
They should've had Floyd eat that mountain.
他什么都吃
He'll eat anything.
我们怎么抓午饭
How we gonna catch lunch?
格洛丽亚 我能点些派吗
Gloria, may I have some pie?
这就来 副警长
Right away, deputy.
看到了吗
You see that?
你的帽子灌输着一种权力阶级
Your hat instills a level of authority.
戴着帽子时 人们会更加重视你
People take you more seriously when you wear it.
警长 帽子不重要
Sheriff, the hat doesn't matter.
好了 你的派来了
All right, here's your pie.
天哪
Oh, my goodness.
抱歉 那是最后一块了
Oops. Sorry. That was our last slice.
看到了吗
See?
她故意把派掉在地上
She dropped the pie on purpose,
因为她看见你没戴帽子
'cause she saw you without your hat.
别说傻话了 这明显是意外
Don't be ridiculous. It was clearly an accident.
不 是因为你的帽子 赶紧戴上
Nope, it was the hat, all right. Now, put your hat on.
警长 帽子不重要
Sheriff, the hat doesn't matter.
-把帽子戴上 -我不需要帽子
- Put your hat on. - I don't need the hat.
-戴上 -不要
- Yes, you do. - Don't!
-戴上 -不要
- Do! - Don't!
-不要 不要 -戴上 戴上
- Don't! Don't! Don't! Don't! - Do! Do! Do! Do!
够了 警长
Ah! Enough! Sheriff!
我敢打赌 我们一天不戴帽子
I bet we could go all day without hats
也不会怎么样
and it wouldn't even matter.
如果我错了 我就把帽子吃了
And, hey, if I'm wrong, why, I'll eat my hat.
好主意
Good idea!
不
Hey! No!
弗洛伊德 快吐出来
Floyd! Come on, spit it out, dude!
-警长 -什么
- Yo, Sheriff? - Huh?
有人故意毁坏公共设施
We got a 4-7-2, vandalism.
-古德曼 -怎么了
- Aw, goodman? - Huh?
现在没人会把我们当回事了
Now, nobody's gonna take us seriously.
我还要更多的帽子
I want more of those hats.
血库
孩子们
Uh, boys?
-赶紧下来 -你们会摔下来的
- Come down from there! - Yeah, you could fall!
去破坏地面上的设施吧
Go vandalize something lower to the ground.
-不要 -不要
- No! - No!
看见了吗 古德曼
See, goodman?
商品出♥售♥ 这个烤箱手套只要两块钱
Products for sale! I got this oven mitt, just $2.
琳达 那是只猫
Linda, that's a cat.
而且你也不应该卖♥♥ 它已经死了
And you shouldn't sell it, it's dead.
在未获准许的情况下卖♥♥猫是违法行为
Definitely illegal to sell cats without a permit.
还给我
Hey, give me that back!
-帮帮我 -什么
- Help! - Huh?
我被困在树上了
I'm stuck in a tree!
给 抱着这只猫跳下来
Here, jump off with this cat!
它们总能用脚着地
They always land on their feet!
天哪
Oh, boy.
-都是你的错 古德曼 -什么
- This is all your fault, goodman. - What the --?
-警长 -什么
- Sheriff? - Huh?
这个塔挡着路了
How am I supposed to flatten dumb face mountain
我们还怎么铲平丑脸山
with a tower blocking the road?
快让镇子恢复秩序
Get this town in order.
秩序
Huh. Order...
-调度员 -怎么了
- Dispatch? - Yo, yo, yo?
订一些帽子
Order some hats.
能说得具体点吗
Uh, could you be more specific?
调度员 没人再把我们当成执法人员
Dispatch, nobody's taking us seriously
认真对待了
as officers of the law,
因为我们没帽子了
'cause we don't have hat anymore,
-去订一些 -什么
- So order some. - What?
"一些"是指多少帽子
How many hats is "Some"?
只有我和古德曼
It's just me and Goodman,
应该在一顶帽子和所有帽子之间
so it's somewhere between one and all the hats.
自己琢磨
Figure it out.
送来一批帽子
Uh, one delivery of hats.
一共五千万顶
All 50 million of 'em.
-什么 -我们只有这么多了
- What?! - That's all we had.
那个贱♥人♥警长
I'm sayin', yo, Sheriff my little bitch.
他不按我说的做
He don't do what I say,
调度员会把他那张
dispatch'll smack him upside
又大又丑的屁脸
his big, ugly, goofy-ass, lopsided --
警长 你好吗
Hey! What up, Sheriff?
你觉得这样很好玩吗
Is this supposed to be funny?
你说了 在一顶帽子和所有帽子之间
You said, in between one and all the hats.
看到了吗 把他们耍了
Y'all see that? Played them fools!
赫曼 你在和谁说话
Herman, who are you talking to?
我正在聊天直播
Oh, I'm on chitchat live right now.
可不能让我几百万的粉丝们失望
Can't disappoint my millions of fans.