爱，死亡与机器人

那些混♥蛋♥不肯离开
The assholes wouldn''t leave.
我还得叫治安官
I had to call the goddamn Sheriff
把他们和他们瘦弱的弱智孩子用车载走
to cart them and their scrawny fucktard kids away.
靠 该死
Ah, crap! Goddammit.
操
Fuck!
我不知道 一只死负鼠
I don''t know, a dead possum.
真是个破地方
What a shit hole.
听着 我得挂了 改天又有新的驱逐任务
Listen, I gotta go. Another day, another eviction.
戴夫和奥托
这个垃圾掩埋场是我的家
This dump''s my home.
我唯一拥有过的家
The only one I ever had.
有些人可能觉得这里不怎么样
Some people may not think much of it.
但我和我的小伙伴奥托对这里很满意
But me and my buddy Otto like it here just fine.
《圣经》里说 "一个人的家就是他的城♥堡♥
And the good book says, "A man''s home is his castle
擅自闯入者
and whosoevereth trespasses
会被火焰和闪电击倒"
shall be struck down with fire and lightning."
由于我没有闪电
And since I ain''t got no lightning,
我通常选择简单化处理
I tend just to keep it real simple, like.
我准备一枪打爆你的头 胖子
I''m about to blow your head off, fat boy.
你应该是德沃切克先生吧
Mr. Dvorchack, I presume?
我是城市督察员
City Inspector.
我已经在这里住了20多年了
I''ve been habitating here more than 20-odd years now.
什么冠冕堂皇的环境卫生新法规
And some new high-falutin'' sanitation law
对我来说屁都不是 城市督察员先生
don''t mean shit to me, Mr. City Inspector.
恐怕对正在隔壁建公♥寓♥的业主来说
Oh, but I''m afraid it does mean something
还是有一定意义的
to the owners of the condominiums they''re building next door.
这个掩埋场里所有东西都得移走
So, you see, everything in this dump has got to go,
包括你 德沃切克先生
including you, Mr. Dvorchack.
-所以请你在这些文件上签字 -奥托
- If you''ll just sign these papers-- - Otto!
奥托 过来
Otto! C''mere, boy!
该死的畜生
Oh, dang critter.
总是到处找吃的
Always scrounging for food.
不如这样吧
Yeah, I tell you what...
我们边喝点冰啤酒
how about we crack a couple of cold beers
我边说个故事给你听
while I spin ya a little yarn?
如果我说完后 你仍然想我和奥托走
And you still want Otto and me gone when I''m done,
我就在文件上签名 跟奥托离开
well, I''ll sign whatever you want and we clear on out.
-破打火机 -我很忙的 德沃切克先生
- Dang lighter! - I''m a busy man, Mr. Dvorchack.
我没时间听醉汉胡言乱语 说疯狂的故事
I don''t have time for drunken ramblings and crazy stories.
我们能不能尽快...
If we could just move this--
-几年前的一天晚上 -我♥操♥了
- One night, couple years back... - Fuck me.
我和我朋友珀利...
...me and my friend Pearly, we...
我和我朋友珀利
Me and my friend Pearly
在一块喝酒聊天
were having a drink and conversatin'', like.
哥们 我告诉你
Oh, boy, I tell ya.
你真该离开这里 到外面见见世面
Hell, you oughta get up off yer duff and see the world.
为什么
Oh, what for?
我需要的一切最终都会来到这里
Everything I need ends up here eventually.
是吗 那女人呢
Oh, yeah? What about women?
我在这里可没看见有女人
I don''t see no women round here.
珀利 她就在那儿呢
Pearly, she''s right there.
抱歉 无意冒犯 贝蒂
Oh, sorry. No offense, Betty.
但我告诉你 哥们
But I am telling you, boy.
拉雷多河边那些廉价妓♥女♥ 真要命
Down in Laredo, they got these river trash whores. Oh, boy!
她们能把拖车拴钩上的铬给吸出来
They can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
你听见响声了吗
Hey, you hear that?
只是老鼠 继续说那些妓♥女♥
It''s just rats. Tell me about the whores.
别着急 老子膀胱快炸了
Hold your horses a minute. My back teeth are floating.
出来吧 小怪兽
Come on out, ya little monster.
爽
Yeah, boy.
什么
What?
怎么回事
What in the hell?
别打死老鼠
Don''t shoot the rats!
它们是好伴儿
It''s good company.
搞什么
What in tarnation?
我们得赶紧离开这儿
We gotta get the hell outta Dodge!
-那边有什么东西 -是什么
- There''s something out there? - What the hell is it?
它来了
It''s coming.
是什么
What is it?
我哪知道 它长满了眼睛
Damned if I know! It''s eyes everywhere!
身上还伸出各种东西
All manner of crap stickin'' out of it.
亮亮的 又很湿
It''s all shiny and wet.
我的蛋
My balls!
救我
Help me!
我不想死
I don''t wanna go!
放手 珀利
Let go, Pearly!
我开不了枪
I can''t shoot!
珀利
Pearly!
把我朋友吐出来 混球
Give my friend back, motherfucker!
老子一定宰了你 狗崽子
I''ma get you, you son of a bitch.
死吧
Die!
怎么回事
What in the shit?
我了个大操
Now fuck me ragged.
一只小狗
A puppy.
我就是在那一瞬间想明白了
And that''s when a big old light bulb went off in my head.
这只怪物不只是由高温和垃圾创造出来
This here monster wasn''t just created by all the heat and garbage.
它靠垃圾存活
It lived off it.
它吃下去的东西都变成了它的一部分
And whatever it ate became a part of it.
办公室的人一定会很喜欢这个笑话的
They''re gonna love this one back at the office.
抱歉
Sorry.
你刚说到克利
So, you were saying about Curly?
他叫珀利
His name was Pearly.
好吧
Right.
这个故事非常精彩 德沃切克先生
And it''s an absolutely riveting tale, Mr. Dvorchack,
但我能感觉到光是坐在这我就快♥感♥染性休克了
but I can actually feel myself getting septic shock sitting here.
所以你能不能在这些文件上签字
So, if you''ll just make a big X on those papers,
好让我能离开这个鬼地方
I can finally get out of this shit hole.
奥托 你在这儿呢
Otto! There you are, boy!
什么
What?
不
No!
不
No!
德沃切克先生
Mr. Dvorchack!
在我看来
Yep. The way I see it...
你在掩埋场待得够久 世界就会来到你面前
you hang around a dump long enough and the world comes to you.
对不对 奥托
Ain''t that right, Otto?
去捡吧
Here, boy!
乖狗狗
Attaboy!
没错 先生 掩埋场就是我的家
Yes, sir, the dump''s my home.
我拥有过最棒的家
Best damn home I''ve ever had.