爱，死亡与机器人

自动化客服
（欢迎来到日落城）
♪ Now I got it boomin' Now I got it boomin' ♪
♪ The way that I be movin' Boy, I can't be human ♪
♪ Shorty bought a Gucci But I bought a Louis ♪
-♪ Yeah, asked her why she pick it. . . ♪
♪ Now I got it boomin' Now I got it boomin' ♪
♪ Now I got it boomin' Now I got it boomin' ♪
♪ Now I got it boomin' Now I got it boomin' ♪
♪ The way that I be movin' Boy, I can't be human ♪
♪ Still ridin' with the squad ♪
♪ Hangin' out the window Screamin'. . . the other side ♪
（停）
♪ We gonna hit the city And get lit and catch a vibe ♪
♪ Trying to leave with a couple baddies Stickin' to my side ♪
♪ Where the fatty body hop We'll kick it like karate chop ♪
（清洁模式：真空吸尘）
（清洁模式：分♥析♥中）
Ohm. . .
嗨
Hi.
Hm.
你这是干嘛？
What's up with you?
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
你需要做能量治疗了 朋友
You need some energetic healing, buddy.
Oh.
感谢呼叫
Thanks for calling Vacuubot,
全美最精良自动化的 真空吸尘器供应商
purveyors of America's finest automated vacuum cleaners.
讲英文 请按1
For English, press one.
您已请求与人工客服沟通
You've asked to speak to a human representative.
当前需等待时长为6小时14分钟
The current wait time is six hours and 14 minutes.
认真的吗？
Seriously?
如需修理 请按1 如需…
If you have a repair query, press one. If you need--
好的
Alrighty then,
您已尝试再次 重启吸尘机器人了吗？？
have you tried turning your Vacuubot off and on again?
Huh.
你在这儿呢
Ah. There you are.
我们装载的黄金年代系统
Ow! Our onboard GOLDEN YEARS system
告知我们 您不知何故激活了清除模式
tells us you've somehow activated Purge Mode.
这一设计目的为消灭小型害虫
This feature is designed to eradicate small pests
-例如昆虫、蜘蛛、老鼠 -搞什么？
-such as insects, spiders and mice. The hell?
但在特定情况下 较大体型者
But in certain situations, larger prey
-例如宠物和人类 -什么？
-like pets and some humans What?
也会被当做目标攻击 由此给您造成的不便 敬请谅解
could be targeted. We're sorry for any inconvenience.
（清除模式：扫描中）
如果您的吸尘机器人已决定 清除一切生物 请按3
If your Vacuubot has decided to purge all living things, press three.
为结束清除模式 您需要进入选项菜单
To end Purge Mode, you will need to access the options menu.
为此您需要分散吸尘机器人的注意力 才能靠近
To do that, you will need to distract Vacuubot to get close.
我们建议您向其丢物品 例如毯子或是宠物
We suggest throwing something at it, like a blanket or pet.
这是在发什么疯？ 在他妈开玩笑嘛！
What in the Bodhisattva is going on here? Are you fucking kidding me?
自动系统探测到不文明用语
The automated system has detected high levels of profanity.
您的不良态度已被记入数据存档
Your bad attitude has been filed in our customer database.
No.
现在您可以放下粗鲁的态度 冷静和我对话了吗？
Now then, have you calmed your sassy boots down?
如果可以 请按1
If so, press one.
这样多好
That's better.
你现在愿意把你的宠物 扔向吸尘机器人了么？
So are you willing to throw your pet at the Vacuubot?
按1表示同意 按2表示拒绝
Press one for yes, two for no.
你选择”拒绝“是什么意思？
What do you mean, "no"?
机器人有可能会攻击你或宠物 你要知道
It could come down to you or it, and believe this,
任何宠物都可以随时牺牲掉你
any pet would sacrifice you in an instant.
你能看着它们冷酷、兽♥性♥的眼睛 告诉我它们不会吗？
Look into their cold, animal eyes and tell me they wouldn't.
快啊 请按同意
Come on, press "yes. "
（同意-拒绝）
好吧 手头有什么都扔向吸尘机器人好了
Fine, throw whatever you've got over the Vacuubot
在它动弹不得的同时 快速上前 并关掉它
and while it struggles to be free, zip in close and turn it off.
在你攻击你的吸尘机器人的时候 你已启动
Uh-oh. When you attacked your Vacuubot, you activated
-保卫家园安全模式 -攻击？
-its HOME GUARD security mode, "Attacked"?
-现在判定您为不法侵入者 -是你告诉我要这么做的
-and it's identified you as a trespasser. You told me to.
吸尘机器人将它打扫过的所有地方 划分为个人区域
Vacuubot will classify any area it's cleaned as its personal territory.
吸尘机器人已经为您 打扫过整个家了吗？
Has this Vacuubot cleaned your entire home?
救命！
Help!
-救命啊！ -现在已经是吸尘机器人的家了
Hm. Hey, help! Well, it's Vacuubot's house now.
我们建议您快跑
We suggest you run.
（家庭安全模式：扫描中）
您已经离开了吗？
-Have you left yet?
-当您在吸尘机器人的领地中 -闭嘴！
-When you've reached minimum safe distance Shut up.
找到安全位置了 请按1
-from Vacuubot's territory, press one.
慢慢叠去吧 混♥蛋♥！
Fluff and fold, motherfucker!
妈的
Damn it.
女士 靠边站
Step aside, ladies.
恭喜您
Congratulations,
您已成功阻挡了凶猛的杀人机器 也就是吸尘机器人
you've stopped the unstoppable killing machine that is Vacuubot.
不幸的是 您不能在此地停留 吸尘机器人已将
Unfortunately, you can't stay here though. The Vacuubot has forwarded
关于您所有记录在册的信息传给了 每个型号♥正在运转的吸尘机器人
all recorded information about you to every Vacuubot model in operation,
它们将不停追杀你 直至您的DNA
all of whom will now hunt you ceaselessly until your DNA
从地球表面彻底清除
has been cleansed from the surface of the planet.
您躲藏流浪的亡命生涯已开启
This is your life now, to hide and wander.
在这片不毛之地上没有喘息机会
Never a moment's rest in this barren wasteland
这将是您的生存方式
that is now your existence.
除非您想购买♥♥独家在吸尘机器人
Unless you'd like to purchase a place on the exclusive Vacuubot
-休战白名单上的地方 -去死吧
-termination whitelist. Go to hell.
（停）
如需特殊先期利率 请按1
For a special introductory rate, press one.