猎蛇求美（2022）

Killing It S01E01

Part 4 Aug. 24, 2023, 10:38 a.m.

I'm embarrassed. [sighs]
对不起
I'm sorry.
但今天之后一切都会不同的
But everything's gonna be different after today.
我会拿下这笔贷款
I'ma get this loan.
一切都会不同的我保证
It's all gonna be different. I promise.
但是现在我得走了好吗?
But right now, I gotta go. Okay?
我不能错过这机会这个...
I can't miss this. This--
该死！
shit!
我的香肠！
My sausages!
我叫了消防车
- I called the fire department.
很好很好真聪明
- Good, good. That was smart.
那么你能带我...
So can you take me...
不行！我要带我们的女儿去学校你可以他妈的自己叫优步
好了我们走吧
Right, let's go.
优步好吧这是个好主意
- [sighs] Uber, yeah. That's a good idea.
啊快点快点
Ah, come on. Come on. Come on.
快点快点快点快点
Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
吉莉安.G 梅赛德斯奔驰
Jillian G. Mercedes Benz.
是克雷格吗?
- Craig?
-我是 -嘿我是吉莉安
- Yeah. - Hey. I'm Jillian.
这是我的奔驰！
This is my Mercedes!
你不用担心
You don't have to worry.
我不是那种不说话的奇怪优步司机
I'm not one of those weird Uber drivers that doesn't talk.
是啊
- Kay.
你是本地人吗?
- Are you from around here?
-是啊 -我来自澳大利亚
- Yes. - I'm from Australia.
你看过电影"油脂“吗？
Have you ever seen the movie "Grease"?
"油脂“，又名"火爆浪子",1978年美国影片
看过
- Yeah.
那好啊告诉你个小秘密
- Well, here's a little secret for you.
奥利维亚.纽顿-约翰来自于澳大利亚
Olivia Newton-John is from Australia.
奥莉维亚·纽顿-约翰女爵士（1948年9月26日—2022年8月8日），出生于英格兰剑桥，
澳大利亚流行音乐及乡村音乐歌♥手，荣获过4项格莱美奖。主演了上边提到的电影"油脂"
桑迪?
Sandy?
她出演了桑迪
She played Sandy.
-是啊是啊 -是啊
- Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
我知道你说的是谁
- I know who you're talking about.
你听说过妮可.基德曼吗?
- Have you ever heard of Nicole Kidman?
妮可·基德曼，美国歌♥手、电视、电影明星，出生在夏威夷，祖籍澳大利亚。
2003年因影片《时时刻刻》获75届奥斯卡最佳女演员奖。
哦对不起我得接个电♥话♥
- Oh, I'm sorry. I gotta take this.
她也是澳大利亚人
- She's Australian too.
什么事?
- What?
都不说”你好“的吗? 我明白是怎么回事
- No "hello"? I see how it is.
嗯你要为自己的混♥蛋♥行为感到羞愧了
Well, you're about to feel real bad about being a dick
因为我要为你提供一份工作
because I'm calling to offer you a job.
什么样的工作? 合法吗?
- What kind of job? A legal job?
问得好格雷戈里
- That's a good question, Cregory.
这个问题我得问问人力资源部的人
Let me run it up the ladder to my HR guy.
让达姆去做吧
- Get Dame to do it.
额他不行
- Nah, he's unavailable.
他因为那些逗逼的巫师镜片
He had a little mishap on account of those
而出了一点小事故
dumbass wizard lenses.
听着伙计我只是想帮你这个可怜虫一个忙
- Look, man, I'm just trying to do your poor ass a favor.
-如果你想加入就告诉我声 -我不想
Just let me know if you're in. - I'm not in.
我这个可怜虫不需要你的帮助
My poor ass doesn't need any favors.
正巧我现在正在
As it so happens, I'm on my way
去参加一个商务会面的路上
to a business meeting right now.
所以谢谢你全家
So thank you,
然后滚你♥妈♥的♥
and go fuck yourself.
如果没成功就打电♥话♥给我
- Just call me after when it doesn't work out.
滚你♥妈♥的♥
- Go fuck yourself.
你是个商务人士
- You're a businessman.
这太酷了
Very cool.
我父亲搬来这里的时候也是个商务人士
My father moved here to be a businessman.
然后他就去世了
And then he died.
-很抱歉听到这个 -没关系
- Sorry to hear that. - It's all right.
那是失去父亲最好的年纪...
It was sort of the best age to lose your dad--
作为一个少年来说
as a teenager.
所以是什么大买♥♥卖♥♥?
So what's this big meeting?
我想买♥♥几块土地
- [sighs] I'm trying to buy some land
这样我就可以开一家锯棕榈种植场了
so I could start a saw palmetto farm.
-具体很复杂 -哇哦
It's complicated. - Wow.
我真希望我有做生意的天赋
I wish I was good at business.
我欠了不少债这让人很头痛
I'm way in debt, which is crazy,
所以我打了很多工
because I have so many jobs.
我做优步做来福车做任务兔
I Uber. I Lyft. I TaskRabbit.
优步和来福车都是国外的打车应用，和滴滴类似
任务兔是一个国外在线兼♥职♥平台，以短期任务的形式联♥系♥雇主和自♥由♥职业者
网上有人付钱为了看我吃香蕉
I get paid by creeps online to watch me eat bananas.
我还会一点老年人看护...哦该死!
I do a little elder care-- oh, shit!
怎么啦? 怎么回事?
- What? Wh-wh-what?
对不起我有一件急事要做
Sorry, I just have to do one thing real quick.
-不行啊我要开会啊 -我知道
- No, I have a meeting. - I know.
但这只要一下就好
But this will just take one second.
拜托你了?
Please? - [sighs]
-真的求求你了? -好吧好吧好吧
- Pretty please? - Fine, fine, fine.
太好了
- Great.
这锤子要用来干什么?
- What's the hammer for?
砸东西我马上回来
- Hammering. Be right back.
这是搞什么鬼?
- What the fuck?
快好了! 还最后一点了!
Nearly done! Just wrapping up!
哦该死！去你的！啊！
Oh, shit! Fuck you! Ah!
-哦妈的! -啊！
- Oh, shit! - Ah!
操操操操！
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
嘿我还是重新叫个优步吧
- Hey, I'm just gonna get another Uber.
别别别我这完事了!
- No, no, no. I'm done!
我这好了
I'm done.
你介意往里靠点吗?
Would you mind sliding down a tad?
这家伙需要点空间
I'm gonna need a little room for this guy.
不不不不不不！
- [screams] No, no, no, no, no, no!
你不要过来啊！
No! No! No!
那么你可能想知道这条蛇是怎么回事
- So you're probably wondering about the snake.
是啊我想知道这条蛇是他妈的什么情况
- Yeah, I'm wondering about the fucking snake.
这正是我现在想知道吉莉安.G
That's exactly what I'm wondering about, Jillian G.
这完全是合理合法的
- It's all completely above board.
佛罗里达州付钱让我♥干♥这个活
The state of Florida pays me to do this job.
看看这个我有个小册子
Check it out. I've got a pamphlet.
十年前有一阵人们流行
Ten years ago, there was a trend for people
养缅♥甸♥蟒作为宠物
to get Burmese pythons as pets.
它们一开始真的很可爱
They start out really cute.
-这不可能是真的 -它是
- That can't be true. - It is.
但很快它们就变得过于巨大
But then they got too big,
所以很多人就把他们的蛇赶进沼泽地放生了
so everyone drove their snakes out to the swamps
但他们不是这里的原生物种
and set them free, but they're not from here,
所以在这它们没有天敌而且它们什么都吃
so nothing eats them, but they eat everything.
-鸟类... -够了
Birds... - Okay.
-鳄鱼... -见鬼
- Alligators... - Damn.
-甚至其他蛇类 -我快吐了
- Even other snakes. - Nasty.
这就是场生态灾难
- It's an ecological disaster.
所以我们这些清理工
So the state pays removal agents
每上交一条死蟒蛇州政♥府♥就会给我们100美元
100 bucks for every dead python we bring in.
这是个赚外快的快捷方法
It's a quick and easy way to earn some extra cash.
我可不这么觉得
- Didn't seem easy.
它们无毒而且行动速度很慢
- They're not poisonous. They're really slow.
它们就像一种
They're like big hot dogs
能咬你或者勒死你的大热狗
that can bite you or squeeze you to death.
不过它们也会笑
But also, they can kind of smile.
你知道这信息已经足够丰富和全面了
- You know, this has been very informative and all that,
但你觉得我们...嘿!
but you think we--hey!
嘿! 这玩意还活着!
Hey! It's alive!
你没把它杀掉
You didn't kill it! [python hisses]
-见鬼! -冷静
Shit! - Okay.
冷静冷静
Okay, okay. - [screams]
-操 -保持冷静! 切记！