猎蛇求美（2022）

Killing It S01E05

Part 1 Oct. 7, 2023, 10:39 a.m.

I see you. Come to papa.
我看到你了到爸爸这来
Howdy. - Hey, Boone.
-你好 -嘿布恩
- Got a big old fat one for you, Gretch.
给你来个大个的格雷奇
- You get 58 bucks.
你这值58块
- Okay, now, not bad.
好的这还不错
- Big dead snakes, just like you wanted.
大死蛇就像你要的
Don't tell anyone where you got this, you fucking weirdo.
别和别人说你从哪搞到的你个该死的怪胎
- Oh, that is real good.
哦这真太棒了
- Oh, damn, that's ugly.
哦见鬼真难看
- [gasps] It's stunning.
简直太棒了
- I know, right? Aren't you obsessed?
我就知道对吧? 是不是被迷住了?
- Beyond.
不止于此
Oh, this will be perfect for an event I have coming up.
哦这对我我将要参加的一个活动来说简直完美
It's a charity event.
那是个慈善活动
- Oh. - Okay, so what's the damage?
-哦 -好吧能有什么坏处呢?
How much trouble am I gonna get in with my husband?
能给我和我丈夫带来什么麻烦呢?
- It's $14,000.
14000美金
- Oh, wow. [scoffs]
哦哇哦
That's a really good deal.
实在是太划算了
- Hey, Craig.
嘿克雷格
- [breathing heavily] What's up, Jillian G.?
怎么了? 吉莉安.G
- You're breathing kind of hard.
你的呼吸听上去有点急促
Are you okay? - No, I'm dying.
-你还好吗? -不好感觉快要死了
I'm working out, but fucking Troy keeps staring at me.
我在健身但该死的特洛伊一直在盯着我
I think he's figured out I just live here
我想他已经发现我只是住在这里
and I don't actually exercise 15 hours a day.
而我实际上并没有每天锻炼15小时
Oh, thank God. [groans] What's going on?
哦谢天谢地有什么事?
- I'm at the Water District HQ to hand in a snake,
我在水区总部总部上交了一条蛇
Water District，水区是美国美国的一种特殊的行政单位，管理某地区
水域相关的大多数事务。类似于国内供水部门，污水处理部门，渔业部门等的综合体
and the cops are here.
刚警♥察♥来了这里
Do you think they're trying to figure out
你觉得他们是不是在调查
who burned down the putt-putt?
是谁烧了推杆场?
- Fuck, Condom Carl probably told them the fire
妈的孔东.卡尔也许告诉他们这场火
had something to do with the snake hunt.
和猎蛇活动有关
- What if we left evidence?
假如我们留下了证据怎么办?
I mean, I've been losing big clumps of hair
我是说自从我不再吃水果蔬菜之后
ever since I stopped eating fruits and vegetables.
我已经掉了一大堆头发
They're just so expensive,
它们都太贵了
and they don't keep in the billboard.
而且不能在广♥告♥牌里保存
- Shit, I can't go to jail.
见鬼我可不能进监狱
Oh, great, here comes Troy again.
哦太好了特洛伊又回来了
He's gonna offer me a towel,
他要给我条毛巾
but I know he's not on my side.
但我知道他不站在我这边
- So what do we do?
那我们要怎么做?
- [grunts] Nothing, okay?
不变应万变知道吗?
Stay away from Condom Carl and the snakes and the cops.
离孔东.卡尔蛇还有警♥察♥都远点
We should take a couple days off.
我们应该休息几天
- I am running low on cash.
我现金不多了
I could use the day to sign on to TaskRabbit
我可以用这几天注册个任务兔
TaskRabbit，任务兔是国外一个以任务发布形式存在的简直网站
and Uber and Postmates and-- - Troy's here, got to go.
-还有优步和邮友和... -特洛伊过来了我得挂了
邮友，即美国同城快递，差不多就是美版带跑腿功能的饿了吗
What the fuck, man? They pay you by the towel?
搞什么鬼伙计? 他们是按毛巾数付你钱的吗?
Leave me alone. [line clicks]
别来烦我
- [sighs] Okay, let's make some money.
好吧让我们来搞点钱
- Hello?
你好哪位?
- Uh, hi, it's your TaskRabbit.
额嗨我是你叫的任务兔
- Ginny. - Jilly--um, Jillian.
-金妮 -吉莉...嗯吉莉安
- Jillian, yes, of course. I have a friend named Ginny.
-吉莉安没错我有个朋友叫金妮
That's what that was. Come on in.
就是这样进来吧
Okay, wow. You are actually perfect.
好的哇你真是太完美了
So much more accurate than the other girls.
比其他姑娘好多了
- Thank you. - Come on in.
-谢谢 -进来吧
Let me get you something to drink.
我来给你拿点喝的
What's that?
那是什么?
- Oh, your posting said to pack for multiple days.
你发的任务里说要带上多日的行李
So I brought a change of clothes.
所以我带上了换洗衣服
- Wow. [laughs]
哇哦
Still or sparkling?
要带泡的还是不带的?
- Sparkling, please.
带泡的谢谢
Whoa, your fridge is so clean.
哦你的冰箱可真干净
Most fridges are filled with, like, food.
大多数冰箱都是被塞满的比如食物之类的
- Oh, my God, you're hilarious.
哦我的天哪你可真逗
We have a food fridge, too, girl.
我们也有装食物的冰箱姑娘
See? Oh, yeah, two fridges.
看见了吧？没错两个冰箱
I know what you're thinking. She's so OCD.
我知道你在想什么她可真是个强迫症
OCD，obsessive-compulsive disorder，强迫症
- No, but I do suffer from that, though.
没有不过我确实深受其害
- So George-- that's my husband--
所以乔治...那是我丈夫...
he makes us live in Florida
他让我们住在佛罗里达
because there's no state income tax.
因为这里没有州所得税
美国税法非常复杂，除了联邦统一的个税之外，每个州的交税计算也各有不同，
像加州州个税就高达13%多，佛罗里达等一些州却没有个税要求。个人分别上交
和夫妻合交也会有很大差别。这说的就是一种富人避税的方法
We're supposed to spend 183 days a year here
我们每年要在这待上183天
in order to qualify as residents,
才能有资格成为这里的居民
but I've had a really tough year,
但我这一年真的过的很艰难
so we've had to travel more
所以为了我的心理健康
than usual for my mental health.
我们不得不比平时更多的到处旅行
Anyway, we've been spending more time than normal
总而言之我们在蒙托克的房♥子里
at our house in Montauk, so technically the Hamptons,
过了更多的时间所以严格来说那里是汉普顿
and now the IRS is accusing us of tax evasion.
而现在国税局指控我们逃税
IRS,Internal Revenue Service,美国国税局，这个机构有多屌♥，可以参见艾尔卡彭是怎么跪的
- Oh, no, that's awful. - Oh, it's fine.
-哦不这可太糟了 -哦没事
In some tax brackets,
到了某个税级
you just have to deal with this kind of stuff.
你就不得不面对这种事情
- Well, I'm not even in a tax bracket,
好吧我连税级都没有
so I can go wherever I want.
所以我想去哪就去哪
- Ugh, I'm so envious of that.
唔真羡慕啊
Anyways, George has some friends
不管怎样乔治有些朋友
who have connections at the IRS,
他们在国税局有关系
and we heard that an agent's gonna come by
所以我们听说有个官员会来
for a residency check.
确认居住情况
All you have to do is just answer the door
所以你要做的就是应门
and pretend to be me.
然后假装成我
Just say I'm Sloane Faulkner.
就说"我是斯隆.福克纳
Oh, can you do an American accent?
哦你会美国口音吗?
[bad American accent] I'm Sloane Faulkner.
我是斯隆.福克纳
I'm Sloane Faulkner. I'm Sloane Faulkner.
我是斯隆.福克纳我是斯隆.福克纳
[normal voice] Sorry, that's not it.
对不起不是这样
I have an access word.
我有个转换词
Let me just find it. It's "hot dog."
让我想想是"热狗"
Hot dog, hot dog.
热狗热狗
[bad American accent] I'm... I'm Sloane Faulkner.
我是...我是斯隆.福克纳
- You'll get there. I'm not even worried about it.
你没问题的我一点都不担心
[chuckles] So that's it.
就这样吧
Just remember to answer the door
只要记得开门
and don't forget to feed Gigi.
还有别忘了喂吉吉
And don't worry. She's sweet.
不用担心她很乖的
- [normal voice] I'm sure she is. I love cats.
我想她是的我可喜欢猫了
- Oh, my God, I was talking about you to the cat.
哦天啊我这是在和猫说
[laughs] You're hilarious.
你可真逗
Oh, and don't have anybody here while you're staying here.
哦还有在你住在这期间别把其他人带过来
That's George's rule, not mine.
这是乔治的规矩不是我定的
It's because of his art collection.
那是因为他的艺术收藏
I guess it's worth something. The art world is so random.
我猜那值些钱艺术的世界就是这么随意
- Don't worry, I will take excellent care of your home.
别担心我会好好照顾你家的
- Oh, and $500 is okay for two days?
哦那么两天报酬500美元行不?
- Oh, wow, yes. That's very generous.
哦哇可以这可真大方
- I really appreciate you saying that.
我真感谢你这么说
I have so much respect for working people.
我很尊重劳动者的
Oh, one more thing--
哦还有一件事...
do you mind wearing these booties while you're here?
你介意住在这的时候穿上这些鞋套吗?
Our housekeeper left thick black marks all over the floor.