9号秘事

How unfortunate.
是啊他们说我们还是可以去
住一个小屋里
Yeah. They said we could still go
and they'd put us up in a shed,
但我们想 嗯
不是我们想住的冰屋有什么意思
but we thought, well, if
it's not an igloo, what's the point?
不想让你们失望
但你们也可以看到
Well, I hate to disappoint you
but as you can see,
这就只有一张床
there's only one bed set out.
不用担心这个
我们是有备而来
Don't worry about that.
We've come prepared.
睡袋已备好
Sleeping bags at the ready.
我们就在你旁边安寨扎营
We'll just set up here beside you.
谁想喝一杯？
Who wants a brew?
哦 不好意思
Oh, sorry.
小饼干好好吃啊婆
你要一个吗
These biscuits are nice, Po.
Do you want one?
这不是给我们准备的吧
应该是教堂用饼
I don't think they're for us,
Pierce, they're like church wafers.
- 啥意思？
- 这是圣餐
What do you mean?
It's the Eucharist.
代表基♥督♥的肉体
The body of Christ.
靠
Oh, shit!
对不起 尝起来像佐茶饼
Sorry! They taste like rich teas,
anyway.
所有饼干中最无趣的一种
The most boring of all biscuits.
讽刺的是 好吃牌饼干难吃得要死
Apart from them Nices which,
ironically enough, are horrible.
我去看看还有别的啥没
I'll go and see
if there's anything else.
- 肯定在哪里有个厨房♥
- 耶
There's got to be a kitchen
somewhere. Yeah.
- 尤其现在有这么多女牧师
- SB
Especially with all these
lady vicars now. Idiot.
所以…你是个教♥徒♥吗 贾生？
So, are you a religious man, then,
Jaz?
不算吧
Not particularly, no.
我主要还是对建筑本身感兴趣
It's the building itself
I'm most interested in.
噢好吧 你看起来像个历史学教授
Oh, right, you're more like
a history doctor, then,
印第安纳·琼斯 达芬奇密♥码♥之类的
Indiana Jones,
Da Vinci Code stuff?
要这么说也行
You could say that, yes.
"医生医生 我鼻子上有个薯片
左耳朵进了根香肠
"Doctor, Doctor, I've got a chip up
my nose, a sausage in my left ear,
右耳朵有根萝卜
我这啥情况？"
"a carrot in my right ear,
what's the matter with me?"
医生说 “你这是饭错”
（谐音梗真的好冷）
The doctor says,
"You're not eating properly."
这都不笑的
Tough crowd.
啊啊我的亲娘哎！
Oh, my good godfathers!
这是谁啊？
Who is it?
不知道
I don't know.
我只是拉开了帘子
他就在那里
I just pulled back the curtain,
and he were there.
我还以为是保罗·约翰·好莱坞呢（英国名厨/主持）
I thought it was Paul Hollywood.
你不会希望他伸出手来
You wouldn't want him
reaching out
和你握手吧
and giving you an handshake,
would you?
他是圣尼古拉斯
It's St Nicholas.
圣诞老人的原型
The original Santa Claus.
你是说可口可乐的原版吗？
You mean the Coca Cola one?
呃 还要早一点
Uh, a little before that, I believe.
这位儿童的保护神
Patron Saint and protector
of children dating back
可追溯到公元 300 年 也许更早
to around 300 AD,
possibly even earlier.
他是有什么起源故事？
What's his origin story?
人家不是X战警 皮尔斯
It's not X-Men, Pierce!
实际上圣尼古拉斯也算个“复仇者”
Actually, St Nick was an "Avenger"
in his own way.
有一天晚上村里三个小孩失踪了
Three small children
were said to be lost one night,
在森林里玩到离家太远
after straying too far from their
homes whilst playing in the woods.
夜幕降临时 他们来到一个
As darkness fell,
they came across an old building
属于一位屠夫的老房♥子
belonging to a butcher.
他给小孩们吃的 让他们进去过夜
He offered them food
and shelter for the night,
小孩们热切地接受了邀请
and they eagerly accepted
his invitation.
然而进去后
屠夫算计了这三小子
However, once inside,
the butcher set upon the three boys,
一个接一个划开了他们的喉咙
slitting their throats one by one.
我了个大草
Bloody hell!
屠夫切开了小孩的身体
He then cut up the children's bodies
把肉块装进盐桶里
and laid the pieces
in a salting tub,
装成火腿肉保存 以便卖♥♥给附近的村民
preserving their flesh to sell
as ham to the nearby villagers.
七年过去了
尼古拉斯 米拉地区的大主教
Seven years had passed when
Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra,
驶进了丛林
来到了这座房♥子
was riding in the woods
and came upon the house.
他要求屠夫打开盐桶
He demanded that the butcher open up
his barrels of salt.
当他看到其中的东西后
尼古拉斯展现了一个神迹
When he saw the contents,
Nicholas performed a miracle,
复活了三个小孩
并把他们送回家
restoring the three boys to life
and sending them home
送回给了他们震惊的父母
to their astonished parents.
好幸运啊
Lucky for them.
这个传说也解释了
为啥我们现在挂腌黄瓜
The myth also explains
why we now hang pickles
之类的装饰在圣诞树上
or gherkins as Christmas tree
decorations.
噢 我们有 一个很大的绿的黄瓜
Oh, we've got one of them!
A big green one.
- 柏斯说就像圣诞怪杰的鸡…
- 皮尔斯！
Posy calls it the Grinch's co...
Pierce!
是的 这是个不常见的引申意思
Yes, It's an unusual derivation,
the pickling or preserving
- 用盐或醋腌制保存儿童的尸体
- 唔
of children's bodies in salt
or vinegar. Mm.
- 你带了薯片吗？
- 可能有些奶酪泡芙
Did you bring any crisps? I think
we've got some cheese puffs.
行吧
Oh, right.
? 伯利恒小镇 ?
# 0 little town of Bethlehem
? 你静静躺在 ?
# How still we see thee thy
? 山丘和水仙之中 ?
# Among the hills and daffodils
? Do-do-ba-da-do-do-ba... ?
# Do-do-ba-da-do-do-ba... #
- 可以安静吗？
- 啥？
would you be quiet, please?
Sorry?
可以不要唱了吗？
Would you please stop singing?
我还想工作
I'm trying to work.
哦 好的
Oh, yeah.
不好意思
Sorry.
我只是一时兴起
I'm just getting in the mood.
我正在找个好地方
挂我的圣诞袜
I'm looking for somewhere nice
to hang my stocking...
绕你脖子上怎么样
How about round your neck?
- 蛤？
- 呃 中庭附近哪儿都行
Pardon?
Uh, anywhere around the nave.
你没准备一个吗？
我们可能有个备用的
Have you not got one? I think I've
got a spare in here somewhere...
裤腰带周围有点梯子格
They're a bit laddered
around the gusset,
也许你可以塞个橘子进去
but you could pop a tangerine in.
你真是个好人哦
That's very kind.
- 我直接挂他床尾可以吗？
- 可以啊
Shall I just hang them on the end