人力资源（2022）

那么 我们现在该做什么？
So, what now?
要不要 直接上本垒？
Should we, I dunno, like, go all the way?
你♥爸♥爸不是在家吗？
Really? Isn't your dad home?
对 但自从我开始穿胸罩后 他就不敢进我房♥间了
Yeah, but he's been scared to come into my room ever since I started wearing bras.
所以 -好吧 我准备好了
So… -Okay. Yeah, I'm ready.
我是说 我洗了澡 还在阴毛上喷了香水
I mean, I showered and sprayed perfume on my pubes, so…
天哪 我也是诶
Oh, my God, so did I.
感觉有点刺刺的 对吧？
It kinda stings, right?
是有一点 -靠！
Yep, little bit. -Shit!
你什么也没看到 我既性感又非常会调情
You didn't see that. I am smooth and sexual.
好 -好
Okay. -Okay.
来咯
Here we go. Oh.
你要怎… -你是要…
Did you-- -Oh, were you gonna--
你先来 -不 你先来吧
You-- You first. -No, you can.
行 没问题
Okay. Yeah.
我先来 -好的
I'll go first. -Okay.
准备好了吗？ -好了 回头见
Are you ready? -Yeah. Um… See you later.
干
Fuck.
嘿嘿 嗬嗬 湿透的小♥穴♥我来咯
Wet-ass pussy here we go.
你能行的 娜佳 开♥苞♥吧 宝贝！
You got this, Nadja. Lose that v-card, baby!
伙计们 拜托 人家正在破处呢
Guys, I'm trying to lose my fuckin' innocence over here.
收到
Oh! Message received.
他们明年要一起上大学 真是太棒了 对吧？
Isn't it amazing that they're going to college together next year?
既然她被伯克利加大列入候补名单
Well, since she got wait-listed at Berkeley,
只能将就接受丹妮儿和罗格斯大学了
I guess Rutgers and Danielle will have to do.
佩特拉 娜佳和丹妮儿彼此相爱呢
Petra! Nadja and Danielle are in love.
这是天意 -随便吧
This is fate. -Eh. Sure, whatever.
真是爽爆了 -真的吗？谢天谢地
That was awesome. -Oh, yeah? Oh, thank God.
我即兴发挥的
I was kinda wingin' it down there.
你是怎么做到这个的？
How did you do that thing?
我用我妈妈的握力球 给我指交用的手做了热身
Oh, I've been warming up my fingering hand using my mom's carpal tunnel ball.
至于舔♥阴♥
And as for the oral,
就是用舌头一遍又一遍地写出 “奥斯丁鲍尔斯”这几个字
I just spelled out the words "Austin Powers" with my tongue over and over again.
我爱你
I love you.
我也爱你
I love you too.
你答应在罗格斯大学 天天都给我指交吗？
Do you promise to finger me every day at Rutgers?
哦耶 宝贝
Yeah, baby.
我得承认 我真喜欢她俩在一起
I gotta admit, I fucking love these two together.
我正想这么说呢
You took the words outta my mouth.
轮到我了吧？ -好的
Is it my turn? -Okay.
接下来就交给我吧 女士们
I'll take it from here, ladies.
如果三十分钟内我没回来 就叫海岸警卫队
If I'm not back in 30 minutes, call the Coast Guard.
炸♥弹♥来咯！
Bombs away!
（错误工厂）
我们今天干得真漂亮
Whoo! We fucking killed it today.
没错 爱情与野心 同心协力
Yeah, love and ambition working together.
就像丹妮儿的舌头和手指一样
Not unlike Danielle's tongue and her fingers…
天哪 我真羡慕娜佳 我已经有一个世纪没做♥爱♥了
God, I'm jealous of Nadja. I haven't gotten laid in about a century.
世纪？ -天哪 有两个世纪了吗？
Century? -Oh, my God. Has it been two?
妞 怎么回事？你的阴♥道♥跑掉了吗？
Shit, girl, what's going on? Your snatch run away?
不是 我只是很忙 而且大家都逊爆了
No, I'm just busy and everybody sucks.
来嘛 总得有个能让你欲♥火♥焚身的人
Come on. There's gotta be somebody that gets your juices flowing.
好吧 确实有一个
Okay, there's someone.
但说起来真难为情
But it's so embarrassing.
你在指谁啊 妞？
Who you pointing at, girl?
加文？加文那个疯子？
Gavin? Crazy ass Gavin?
我是个男人味爆棚的纯爷们！
I'm such a fuckin' man.
天哪 真是个愚钝的家伙
Yikes. A bit of a blunt instrument.
我可不会拒绝他的钝家伙 懂我的意思吧？
I wouldn't turn down his blunt instrument, if you know what I mean.
我想上他
I wanna fuck him.
不必多说 上吧 妹子！
Been there. Go for it, bitch.
我得说 有个人一起聊男生还真不错
I gotta say, it's good to talk about this girly stuff with someone.
我们应该多出来喝酒聊天 你知道我很乐意的
Well, we should do this more often, okay? You know I'm always down.
好啊 敬我们
Yeah. To us.
敬我们
To us.
知道吗？去他妈的 这轮酒我请！
You know what, fuck it! Drinks on me!
我要两杯 一杯给我的嘴
I'll take two. One for my mouth,
一杯给我的另一张嘴
and one for my other mouth.
是同一张嘴哦
It's the same mouth.
靠 桑娅自从被解雇后就没有清醒过
Damn. Sonya's been drunk ever since she got fired.
嗯 是啊
Yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah.
那么… -那么…
So… -So…
有什么新鲜事？
What else is new?
自我们四个小时前 一起吃过午饭之后吗？没什么
Since we had lunch together like four hours ago? Not much.
你现在有在看什么书吗？
You, uh, reading anything right now?
我对你厌倦透了 康妮
Ugh. I'm so bored of you, Connie.
我也是 我真♥他♥妈♥受不了了
Me, too. I'm tired of this shit.
是啊 我们所做的就是喝酒、聊工作
Right? All we do is drink, talk about work,
然后不可避免地大操特操一番
then have inevitable, mind-blowing sex.
就是啊 我是说 刺♥激♥感都哪儿去了？
Exactly. I mean, where's the excitement?
我对你的一举一动了如指掌 我讨厌这样
I know every move you're gonna make, and I hate it.
等一下 也许我们所需要的 是和新的生物上♥床♥
Wait a second. Maybe what we need is to sleep with new creatures.
哦 康妮 我在和很多其他生物上♥床♥呢
Oh, Connie, I… I'm sleeping with a lot of other creatures.
我给你发视频和照片的时候 暗示得还不够清楚吗？
Was I not clear about that when I sent you videos and photos of it?
不是啦 蠢蛋 我说的是角色扮演
No, dumbass, I'm talking about roleplay.
火♥辣♥又有点小变♥态♥的性♥爱♥ 加上帽子和服装？
Kinky sexy fuck-fuck with hats and costumes?
对 跟社区戏剧差不多 不过是给性活跃人士玩的
Yeah. It's community theater, but for sexually active people.
好呀 角色扮演
Alright, role-playing.
我想扮演一个傲慢而个性十足的人
I wanna be someone brash and electrifying.
例如琼里弗斯
Like Joan Rivers.
那我扮演梅利莎里弗斯
And I'll be Melissa Rivers.
不行 那样太过火了 我们做别的吧
Nope. Nope. That crosses a line for me, let's do something else.
不 我告诉你 佩特拉真的很有趣
No, I'm telling you, girl, Petra is fun.
抱歉 我不相信你 -真的
I'm sorry. I don't believe you. -She is.
一个弦儿绷得那么紧的人 怎么可能会有趣呢？
No one who carries that much tension in their neck could ever be, like, fun.
别犯傻了 她有趣得不得了
Okay, you trippin', 'cause she's a fucking riot.
而且 你猜那个疯丫头对谁有好感？
Plus, guess who that psycho little peanut has a crush on.
我的天哪 谁？ -加文
Oh, my God. Who? -Ga-vin.
不是吧？他好吓人 -吓死人了
No. He's so scary. -Scary as hell.
不过我完全能理解 等他干完她之后 我想让他干我
But also I totally get it and I want him to rail me after he's done with her.
我愿意让他从后面来
I will eat the sheets.
萝谢尔 你在笑 告诉我为什么
Rochelle, you're laughing. Tell me why.
我们只是在聊 办公室里谁想跟谁啪啪啪
Oh, we're just talking about who wants to fuck who in the office.
啪啪啪 虽然很好玩 但也是个大累赘 对吧？
Fucking. It can be so fun, but also such a liability, right?
随你怎么说 皮特
Whatever you say, Pete.
我该回去找娜佳了 她要参加毕业舞会 礼服还没选好呢
I should probably get back to my girl Nadja. She's on prom court and we need an outfit.
容我推荐红色
Ooh! May I recommend red?
人类学家说红色象征着健康的外阴
Anthropologists say it signifies a healthy vulva.
天哪 皮特！ 谢谢你那奇怪又不请自来的建议
Jesus, Pete! Thanks for the weird and unsolicited advice.
回头见 -不客气
See you around. -Um… You're welcome.
很抱歉我说了外阴！
And I'm sorry I said "vulva"!
很抱歉我现在还这么大声 说这两个字！
And I'm sorry I'm yelling it right now!
天啊 我的电脑今天疯疯癫癫的
Man, my computer is being… so spinny today.
别砸了 可以让我看一下吗？
Don't hit it. Can I please take a look?
好吧 但要看的话 需自行承担风险哦
Okay. But you're gonna have to… …enter at your own risk.
你显然把键盘当成盘子 用它吃了不少牛角面包 而且…
Okay, you clearly use your keyboard as a plate for many a croissant, and--
我的老天爷 你有三万八千封未读邮件？
Oh, my God. You have 38,000 unread emails?
这是我自己的一套方法
It's my system.
我让邮件保持未读状态 这样我就会记得处理它们
I leave emails unread so that I remember to deal with them.
那你处理过什么没有？
And have you ever dealt with anything?
三次意外怀孕算不算 婊♥子♥？
How about three unwanted pregnancies, bitch?
还是请你别叫我婊♥子♥
Okay, I'd rather you didn't call me bitch.
抱歉 我忘了
Sorry, yeah, you've mentioned that.
艾米 你有没有听说过 “收件箱归零”？
Ooh! Emmy, have you ever heard of Inbox Zero?
有啊 我去的堕胎诊所就叫这个名字
Oh, yeah! That's the name of the abortion clinic I go to.
不是 收件箱归零是一种组织理念
No, Inbox Zero is an organizational philosophy.
不对 是一种生活方式
Nay, a lifestyle.
而且最棒的部分是 它非常严格 并且需要持续地维持
And the best part is that it's rigorous and requires constant maintenance.
真恶心 听上去就是 逻辑石像会喜欢的东西
Uh, okay, puke. Sounds like something a logic rock would love.
我的确喜欢 我甚至有个座右铭
I do. And I even have a little mantra,
“清空的收件箱就是快乐的收件箱”