布拉德·尼利神经秀（2016）

我小时候 我们都扮演歌♥剧里的魅影
When I was a girl, we were all phantoms of the opera,
你懂么
you know what I mean?
没女角色
No one was the girl.
那时候 有点不同
Back then, it was just a little different.
我们都有像被烧坏的脸
We all had, like, super burned up faces,
但是身材挺好
but we had nice, fit bodies,
干净的衣服和披风 你懂么
clean suits and capes, you know what I mean?
那是个不同的时代
It was just a different time.
我们都有面具
We all had masks.
当然啦 别理解错
Sure, I mean, don't get me wrong.
那和现在一样
That was the same as now.
但即使这样 以前你看得出
But even so, back then you could tell,
我们都有超分明的下颚线条
we all had, like, super masculine jaw lines
和锃亮的头发
and nice hair.
不像现在
I mean, it's not like now
每个人都有很恶心的伤疤
when everyone has super gross facial scars.
那时候
Back then, we just had, like, you know,
如果我们脸上起皮 就会很紧张
a little scrunched up cheek, and we took it really seriously.
会躲起来
And -- and -- and -- and hid in stuff.
但是姑娘知道我们很性感 因为我们嗓子好
But the girl knew we were hot because of our voices.
那时候每个人的声音都是天籁 不像现在
Everyone's voice back then was killer, not like now.
葡萄款
Grape!
披萨款
Pizza!
忙人款
Busy.
多痣款
Mole.
有备款
Ready.
圣经款
Biblical.
震动款
Vibrating.
丑女款
Ugly!
孩子 我知道你不会
Son, I know you didn't come up in here
不带着饼干来见我
without no crackers for me!
不错 不错 很好 很好
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
老娘心情烦躁不排队
My shit is too big for this shit
老娘脾气火爆不输钱
My shit is too big for this shit
老娘没有耐心玩泥巴
My shit is too big for this shit
老娘天性豪迈上大碗
My shit is too big for this shit
我他妈真想不到这要花这么长时间
I can't fucking believe this is taking this long!
我他妈只需要你们唱个降G大调
I mean, all I fucking need is a minor fifth from you
不管你们他妈的在哪儿是想干嘛
and whatever the shit you're trying to do over there,
抓着你的蛋蛋他妈的像是在祷告
grabbing your nuts like you're fucking praying to God!
你们都他妈的干了些什么
What have you been doing?!
给对方口♥交♥一整晚
Sucking each other dry all night?
哇 你们想要点蜂蜜 一点柠檬 再来点热水
Oh, you need some honey and some lemon and some hot water?
或者你要在下一条振作起来
Or are you gonna man the fuck up on this next take?!
为什么你不学学内尔富爸爸
Why can't you take a page from Nerf Dad's book, huh?
该死的内尔富爸爸真屌♥炸 他翅膀硬了离开我
God damn Nerf Dad's so pro, he's gonna up and leave me,
搞个单飞事业
I bet, get a solo career.
你敢就试试 小崽子
Don't you do it, boy.
好了 数到一就开始
Now, all right, on the count of one --
不许你那样看我 你这傻♥逼♥
Don't you look at me like that, you cunt sucker!
数到一 没错
On the count of one -- that's right,
我不数到三 老子就这么屌♥的不行
I don't go to three, I'm a fucking pro!
好了 你们都准备好了么
All right, y'all ready in there?!
一
One!
亚马逊高级会员
Amazon prime
人们都不明白为什么乌龟这么慢
People don't really realize why turtles are so God damn slow.
那是因为我们有爵士范
It's because we jazzy.
我是一个有老二脖子的乌龟
I'm a turtle with a penis neck.
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
Then you get the titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
And then you get them titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
Then you get the titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
And then you get them titties
我要剪头发
I need a haircut
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
Then you get the titties
我要妹子
I need some titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
And then you get them titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
Then you get the titties
我要妹子
And I need titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
And then you get them titties
我要剪发
I need a hair cut
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
Then you get the titties
我要妹子
Ooh, I need the titties
先剪头发
First you get the haircut
再有妹子
And then you get them titties
谢谢 我们是果血
Thank you. We are Fruit Blood.
我们是果-汁
We are juic-c-c-e.
再见
Bye-bye.
唧唧
Chirp.