爆笑女警（2016）

How did a tiger get into a massage parlor?
老虎怎么会进到按♥摩♥院
By dressing in human clothes.
穿上人的衣服
Sniglet.
斯涅格莱特
If we find Sniglet, we can find Scholls.
找到斯涅格莱特 我们就找到了肖勒
Found him.
找到了
Good afternoon.
下午好
Calvin Sniglet, you're under arrest.
加尔文·斯涅格莱特 你被捕了
Not so fast.
高兴早了
Stand back. He's got a bedbug.
都后退 他手里有床虱
Jesus, you train for this, but nothing can prepare you.
天哪 你受过训练 还这么怕
Lay one hand on me, and I set him loose.
敢动手 我就放了它
Have fun washing and re-washing your clothes...
享受一遍遍地洗衣服的乐趣吧
putting everything you own into bags,
把所有东西都放进包里
constantly scratching tiny bug bites.
不停地被小虫子咬
And worst of all, purchasing a brand-new mattress.
最糟的是 买♥♥一个新床垫
I just got used to mine.
我刚习惯现在这个
And we're miles away from Labor Day sales.
我们离劳动节促销还很久
What do you want, Sniglet?
你想要什么 斯涅格莱特
Not much.
不多
Just for you to close the L.A. Zoo
只要你们关了洛杉矶动物园
and set all the animals free.
放了所有动物就好
No way. Never gonna happen.
不可能 别想了
Then the animal attacks will continue.
那么动物袭击就将继续
And you'll be seeing Dr. Scholls back in the forensics lab.
你们会在法医实验室看到肖勒医生
Well, that's good. As a corpse.
哦 挺好啊 是一具尸体
I walked right into that.
中了你的圈套
Set all the zoo animals free,
放了动物园里的所有动物
and you can have your human back.
然后我会放人
Siri, get me the mayor.
Siri 给我接市长
Calling Mayor Joe Perry. Siri, hang up.
连线市长乔·佩里 Siri 挂掉
You can't close the zoo.
你不能关掉动物园
It'll be chaos, and we can't have chaos this weekend...
那样会一片混乱 这周末我们不能出乱子
it's Cat-astrophic!
是猫的节日
We all enjoy the nation's largest cat festival,
我们都很喜欢国家这个最大的猫的节日
but I have to think about the safety of our citizens.
但我要考虑市民的安危
If the Lieutenant were here right now,
如果警督在这儿
you know what he'd say.
你应该知道他的决定会是什么
Geils, don't be foolish.
盖尔斯 别傻了
That's a good Atkins.
这才对嘛阿特金斯
I couldn't stay away.
我躲不开
These are my future in-laws, Frank and Tanya.
这两位是我未来的姻亲 弗兰克和坦尼娅
Can, uh, you point me to the bathroom?
你能 呃 告诉我洗手间在哪儿吗
Down the hall, and make it quick!
在大厅 你快点儿
These animal attacks will continue
除非我们答应斯涅格莱特的要求
unless we listen to Sniglet's demands,
否则这些动物袭击不会停止
not to mention Scholls. We have no choice.
更不要说找到肖勒了 我们别无选择
Sniglet is a madman.
斯涅格莱特是个疯子
If we give in to him now,
如果我们这次答应他了
who knows what he'll do next.
谁知道他下次又会搞出什么
Damn it, Geils,
该死的 盖尔斯
90% of the city's revenue comes from zoo tickets.
这个城市百分之九十的收入来源于动物园门票
Detroit has cars. Wisconsin has cheese.
底特律有汽车 威斯康星州有奶酪
L.A. has fat people roaming around
洛杉矶有遍地的胖子
looking at animals in cages.
看笼子里的动物
Phew! That's better.
哎呀 现在好多了
Welcome back, Mrs. Weidner.
欢迎回来 怀德纳女士
Now, if potty time is over,
好了 如果上完厕所了
we have a rehearsal dinner to get to.
我们要去预演宴会了
It's your call.
你做决定
All my life, I've wanted to be the kind of lieutenant
终我一生 我想做的都是
who prevents people from getting killed.
能够保护人们人身安全的警督
Get me the mayor. I'm closing the zoo.
给我接市长 我要关掉动物园
Oh, wow. That's so wrong.
哦 真是个错误的决定
I know what you're gonna say. Closing the zoo was a mistake.
我知道你要说什么 关掉动物园是一个错误
People are still getting killed, Sniglet lied,
人们仍会被杀 斯涅格莱特在欺骗我们
and Scholls is no closer to being found.
寻找肖勒仍然不会有进展
Your career is doomed, Geils.
你所做事情的结果是注定的 盖尔斯
Good doomed or bad doomed?
好的还是坏的
And as far as Dr. Scholls...
只要肖勒博士
Monica, you're alive. How did you escape?
莫妮卡 你还活着 你怎么逃脱的
I used my bun to pick the lock on the cage.
我用发髻撬开了笼子上的锁
After that, it was a simple matter of seducing an armadillo
之后对付一个犰狳就很简单了
and then walking out the front door.
再从前门出去
After which, Monica and I had quite a nice talk.
然后莫妮卡和我进行了一次愉快的交谈
Didn't we, Monica? It was okay.
是吧 莫妮卡 还行吧
Geils, I was quite intrigued to learn
盖尔斯 我很好奇
that you were not only having an inappropriate relationship
你不仅和法♥院♥领导
with the head of forensics, but that, subsequently,
关系不好 而且
you were having an inappropriate relationship
你和另一位警探
with another detective.
关系也不融洽
Why are you doing this?
你为什么这么做
I could talk about things like ethics and civil service,
我可以讲关于道德 行政事务
transparency in law enforcement,
和执法透明度的事
but the simple truth is you traded hos,
但事实是以其人之道
now we tradin' blows.
还治其人之身
Acting Lieutenant Geils, you are hereby suspended.
代理警督盖尔斯 你被停职了
Mr. Mayor, please. We can fix this.
市长先生 拜托 我们可以解决问题
It's not Geils' fault.
这不是盖尔斯的错
Are you speaking as a cop or an ex-lover?
你是以警♥察♥的身份还是他前爱人的身份在说话
Ex-lover.
前爱人
In accordance with the line of succession,
根据排位
Detective Hoffman is acting lieutenant.
霍夫曼警探会代任警督
Geils, don't worry. We're gonna figure this out.
盖尔斯 别担心 我们会解决这个问题
You were right, Angie.
你是对的 安琪
It was a mistake for me to even try.
我错了 我根本就不该试图做这件事
You suspended a good cop. Maybe the best.
你停了一个优秀的警♥察♥的职 也许是最优秀的
I told you about the secret bathroom.
是我告诉你关于秘密浴室的事
# Ooh, girl, you make my mind go crazy #
# 噢 女孩 你让我痴狂 #
# Yes, I...#
# 是 我 #
Well, well, well.
喂 喂 喂
Angela Tribeca.
安吉拉·翠贝卡
Dr. Hornbein, I need your help.
霍恩宾博士 我需要你的帮助
Please, sit down.
请坐
Calvin Sniglet has somehow
加尔文·斯涅格莱特用某种方法
trained the zoo animals
训练了动物园的动物
to attack humans. Mm.
来袭击人类 嗯
So the hunted are becoming the hunters,
所以猎物变成了猎人
the consumed are becoming the consumers.
被消费者变为了消费者
The downtrodden are becoming the up-not-trodden.
被压♥迫♥者变为了压♥迫♥者
I don't know how to stop him.
我不知道怎么阻止他
Personal things, please.
说你自己的事
Fine.
好
I found out my father was alive.
我发现我爸爸还活着
He faked his own death when I was 12.
他在我十二岁的时候伪造了自己的死亡
I went to see him, and he ran away again.
我去见他 他又跑了
Yes, yes, I know that.
是 我知道这个
What I want you to tell me is how did that make you feel.
我想让你说的是对此你有什么感觉
Angry. That's a secondary emotion.
生气 这是第二层情绪
How did it make you feel? Sad. Alone.
你最初的感觉是什么 伤心 孤单
Those are all secondary emotions.
这些都是第二层情绪
Tell me how did it make you feel?!
告诉我你最真实的感觉
Hurt.
受伤
Hurt, yes.
受伤 对
It's easy to hurt children.
这很容易伤害孩子
They have no control over what happens to them...
他们没办法控制在他们身上发生的事情
neither do animals, actually.
事实上 动物也是这样
Mr. Sniglet is both an animal and a child.
斯涅格莱特先生既是动物也是孩子
Now he's fighting for control.
现在他在为掌控而战
How do we stop him?
我们要怎样才能阻止他
Oh, I'll help you.
我会帮你