新喋喋人生
Alan Bennett's Talking Heads
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新喋喋人生
Alan Bennett's Talking Heads S01E11
Part 4
July 7, 2020, 10:18 a.m.
他说他要是以前认识伯纳德就好了
Says he didn't have the privilege of knowing Bernard before,
不过他想 伯纳德应该也恢复到生病前的状态了
but he imagines now he's quite like his old self.
我说 没错
I said, "Yes, he is."
我喝热饮的时候 他走进来
Comes in here while I'm having a hot drink
跟我说他在考虑重开小亭子
and tells me he's thinking of opening the kiosk again
马乐瑞会帮他
and that Mallory is going to help him.
我说 麦洛依小姐有
I said, "Well, does Miss Molloy have any experience
卖♥♥糖果和烟草的经验吗
in sweets and tobacco?"
他说 没有 但是她好风趣
He said, "No, but she's a fun-loving girl with a welcoming
还有热情的什么什么 那就已经成功一半了
whatever it's called and that's half the battle."
顿德戴尔医生今早送来封便条
Note from Mr Dunderdale this morning
说他的腰舒服多了
saying his back's much better
很期待下周再见到我
and that he's looking forward to seeing again me next week.
艾斯黛儿后背疼
Estelle suffers in the back department.
你在纳斯比之战中不得不挥舞着备用长矛
It's the legacy of one's having to wield a spare pike
后果就是这样
at the Battle of Naseby.
我跟她讲了我帮顿德戴尔医生缓解腰痛
So I was telling her about me helping Mr Dunderdale with his,
不过她并不领情
only she isn't grateful.
她咯咯笑 说 看不出来啊
She just giggles and says, "Oh, still waters!"
说真的 地毯地板部
Floor Coverings, really,
应该雇个更成熟的销♥售♥员
they ought to have someone more mature.
她真应该去美妆部
She really belongs in Cosmetics.
我不知道公♥司♥的人都怎么了
I don't know what's got into people at work.
我今早去上班
I come in this morning
那个留着小胡子的门卫在工作人员入口说
and the commissionaire with the moustache who's on the staff door
祝你今天愉快 小鸭子
says, "Have a good day, me duck."
我说 你只有一条胳膊 凯普斯蒂克先生
I said, "You may only have one arm, Mr Capstick,
但那不意味着你能拍我屁♥股♥
but that does not entitle you to pat me on the bottom."
还有一件事 我在发货部给一些沙发套开♥发♥票
Next thing is, I'm invoicing some loose covers in Dispatch
有个实习的小青年
when one of the work experience youths
肯定不超过16岁 给我抛了个傻乎乎的媚眼
who can't be more than 16, gives me a silly wink.
我跟艾斯黛儿说
I said to Estelle,
我的法兰绒两件式一般没有这种效果
"My Viyella two-piece doesn't normally have this effect."
她说 他们就是想表达友好
She said, "Well, they're just wanting to be friendly."
我说 还友好
I said, "Friendly?
艾斯黛儿 我可能不算女权主义者
"Estelle, I may not be a feminist,
虽然我确实倡导在女卫生间
though I did spearhead the provision of pot pourri
配备香花罐
in the ladies toilets,
但人们不能肆无忌惮地拍我的屁♥股♥
but people are not going to pat my bottom with impunity."
她说 是啊 现在情况完全相反了[靴子在别人脚上了]She says, "No, the boot's on the other foot,"
然后开始咯咯笑
and starts giggling.
我对乔伊·珀伊瑟说
I said to Joy Poyser,
我真不明白 她是怎么让别人
"However she manages to interest anyone
对乙烯基地板感兴趣的
in serious vinyl flooring, I do not understand."
我到家的时候 屋里一片黑
House dark when I get in.
我想他俩是坐在客厅里
I imagine they're in the sitting room, the pair of them,
不过我喊了他俩 没有回音
only I call out and there's no sound.
所以我泡了茶 读《晚报》
So I get me tea and read the Evening Post.
换换情况 一个人占有这房♥子也不错
Nice to have the place to myself for a change.
然后我走进客厅
Then I come into the sitting room
伯纳德摸黑坐着
and there's Bernard sitting in the dark.
我打开灯 他面前摆着展开的地图
I put the light on and he's got the atlas open.
我说 你为什么摸黑坐着
I said, "What are you doing in the dark?"
他说 我在找马尔代夫群岛
He said, "I'm looking up the Maldive Islands."
我说 为什么 你不去度假了
I said, "Why? You're not going on holiday?"
他说 对 我不度假
He said, "No, I'm not.
我怎么去度假 拿什么度假
"How can I go on bloody holiday? What with?"
他塞给我一份银行流水单
And he shoves a bank statement at me.
我觉得他已经哭了一阵
Well, I've a feeling he's been crying
我不知道我该怎么办
and I don't know where to put myself,
所以我烧了一壶水 看看他的流水单
so I put the kettle on and look at his statement.
里面什么都没有
There's practically nothing in it.
几乎每天都有钱被提走
Money taken out nearly every day.
我说 这是怎么回事
I said, "What's this?"
他说 是那个霍巴特的贱♥人♥
He says, "It's that tart from Hobart."
我说 麦洛依小姐 但她是个有执业资格的理疗师
I said, "Miss Molloy? But she's a qualified physiotherapist."
他说 没错 但她不止是个理疗师
He said, "Yes, and she's something else.
她是 随你怎么说 一条母狗
"She's a - what do you call it - female dog."
我说 那些支票是你签的吗
I said, "Well, did you sign these cheques?"
他说 当然是我签的了
He said, "Of course I signed them."
我说 你那是干什么 练字吗
I said, "Well, what were you doing, practising writing?"
他说 不 我说 她在哪
He said, "No." I said, "Well, where is she?"
他说 她在马尔代夫群岛 本来我也要去的
He said, "She's in the Maldive Islands, where I was going to be."
我说 我们必须报♥警♥
I said, "Well, we must contact the police.
这是欺诈 他说 不是的
"It's fraud, is this." He said, "No, it isn't."
我说 你知道你签的支票是什么用途吗
I said, "Did you know what these cheques were for?"
他说 我当然知道了
He said, "Of course I knew what they were for.
是提供服务的报酬
"They were for services rendered.
我指的不是把我抬上抬下什么的
"And I don't mean lifting me on and off the what's-it-called.
是因为她为我做的那个
"It was for stuff she did for me."
我说 哪个
I said, "What stuff?"
他说 你知道的
He said, "You know."
我说
I said,
伯纳德 你还记得克拉克森-哈尔医生说的吗
"Bernard, remember what Mr Clarkson-Hall says.
绕着这个词辟一条路
"Trace a path around the word."
他说 我用不着绕着什么辟一条路
He said, "I don't need to trace a path around the bloody word.
我知道那个词怎么说 是你不知道
"I know the word. It's you that doesn't.
你♥他♥妈♥什么都不知道
"You don't know bloody nothing."
我说 有一件事是明摆着的
I said, "Well, one thing's clear.
虽然你得了脑卒中
"Despite your cerebral accident,
你说粗话的本事仍然没有受到影响
your capacity for foul language remains unimpaired."
他说 可不是嘛
He said, "Yes, it bloody does."
我给他泡了茶
I made him some tea.
我说 她把你当傻子耍
I said, "She's made a fool of you."
伯纳德说 你还好意思讲话我呢
Bernard said, "You can speak."
我说 是说 我知道我能讲话
I said, "Talk. I know I can speak.
正确的说法是 你还好意思说我呢
"The expression is, 'You can talk.'
你为什么这么说
"Anyway, why?"
他说 你跟你那位看脚的胡闹
He said, "Monkeying about with your foot fella."
我说 顿德戴尔医生
I said, "Mr Dunderdale?
跟他有什么关系
What's he got to do with it?"
他说 愚蠢的游戏什么的
He said, "Silly games and whatnot.
他显然是
"He's obviously a...
是
"a..."
我说 是什么 他说 是个东西
I said, "A what?" He said, "A thing."
我说 什么东西 伯纳德 绕开那个词
I said, "A what, Bernard? Skirt a path round the word."
他说 绕你个头 你个笨蛋
He said, "Skirt it yourself, you stupid
两只角 四条腿 能挤奶
two horns, four legs, where you get milk."
我说 奶牛
I said, "Cow?
这个词你一般不会忘
"You normally remember that."
我给乔伊·珀伊瑟讲了这件事 她说
I was telling Joy Poyser about it and she said,
你为什么给他讲足科医生的事
"Well, why did you tell him about the chiropodist?"
我说 克拉克森-哈尔医生说我应该跟他说话
I said, "Mr Clarkson-Hall said that I should talk to him,
这是治疗的一部分
"It's all part of the therapy."
她说 那给艾斯黛儿·麦特卡夫讲不算治疗吧
She said, "Well, it's not part of the therapy for Estelle Metcalf,
对不对 你告诉她了
"Is it? You told her.
她又没得中风
"She hasn't had a stroke."
显然 她把我的事传遍了百货公♥司♥
Apparently she's spread it all over the store.
不管怎么说 我上了楼
Anyway, I went upstairs,
留他一个人对着地图哭
left him crying over the atlas...
我突然听到一声巨响
..When suddenly I hear a crash.
伯纳德
"Bernard?
伯纳德
"Bernard?
伯纳德
"Bernard!"
艾斯黛儿昨天冒险进入了软装部
Estelle ventured into Soft Furnishings yesterday,
这周第一次
first time in a week.
我猜是来探探口风的
Testing the water, I suppose.
她说
She said,
内维尔周日要参加马斯顿摩尔之战
"Neville's taking part in the battle of Marston Moor on Sunday."
她要作为从军家属一起去
She's going along as a camp follower,
但他们还缺一两个
新喋喋人生
Alan Bennett's Talking Heads
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