新喋喋人生

Alan Bennett's Talking Heads S01E03

Part 1 July 7, 2020, 10:17 a.m.

喋喋人生第三集
迎难而上
三点钟奇怪的时间
It's a funny time, three o'clock.
吃午饭太晚用下午茶又有点早
It's too late for lunch, but a bit early for tea.
另外还有一两个勇敢的人
Besides, there were one or two brave souls who'd trekked
一路从伍尔弗汉普顿长途跋涉而来
all the way from Wolverhampton.
我可能不能冒险给他们泡茶
I couldn't risk giving them tea
不然我们就亲手制♥造♥了一场哗变
or we'd have had a mutiny on our hands.
我想人们都希望得到款待
And I think people like to be offered something,
就算他们其实并不会吃
even if they don't actually eat it.
人的本能是径直奔向冰箱
One's first instinct was to make a beeline for the freezer
然后翻出无法拒绝的法式咸派
and rout out the inevitable quiche,
但我想着 "穆丽尔老太婆
but I thought, "Muriel, old girl,
那是懦夫的做法"
"that's the coward's way out."
所以最后我一直熬到凌晨两点
So the upshot was I was up until two o'clock in the morning...
慢慢端出我的经典标准菜品
..Trundling out a selection of my old standards.
柠檬酱汁配鸡肉
Chicken in a lemon sauce,
传统科尔切斯特式的牛肉馅饼
beef en croute from the old Colchester days.
想到了杰西·马钱特
Thought of Jessie Marchant.
还有一大盆综合沙拉
And then bushels of assorted salads.
不过那天不太适合吃沙拉
As it happened, it wasn't exactly a salady day.
对四月来说太凉爽了
Quite crisp for April, actually.
但梅宝用她著名的汤
But Mabel warmed up the proceedings
暖了暖场
with one of her famous soups,
无中生有的汤这样我们就有心情再撑下去
conjured up out of thin air, so we lived to fight another day.
没人能说清那是什么味道
Nobody could quite put their finger on the flavour,
这样我就可以挨个人问
so I was able to go round saying,
"你猜到是什么汤了吗"
"Have you guessed the soup yet?"
稍微缓和一下尴尬气氛
and that broke the ice a little.
我不知道梅宝是怎么回事但她像疯了一样
I don't know what had got into Mabel, but she'd gone mad
加了一撮咖喱粉它唬住了大多数人
and added a pinch of curry, and that foxed most people.
其实是菜花
It was cauliflower, actually.
但一开始有点难办
Still, it was a bit sticky at the start,
这些场合通常都这样
as these occasions usually are.
有些人我压根就不认识
There were people there I didn't know from Adam.
比如所有开着麦赛·福格森拖拉机的人
All the Massey Ferguson people, for instance.
对我来说完全是陌生的存在
Completely unknown quantities to me.
也有很多我知道自己应该认识但并不认识的人
Then lots of people I knew I should know and didn't.
但我一看到一脸不知所措的人
But whenever I saw anyone looking lost,
就会想到拉尔夫
I thought of Ralph
抓住一个我认识的人轻声说
and grabbed hold of someone I did know and breezed up saying,
"这位是乔瑟琳她在皇家艺术学院
"This is Jocelyn. She's at the Royal College of Art.
我还不认识你
"I don't know your name,
但我猜你是学农业机械的"
"but the odds are you're in agricultural machinery,"
然后让他们聊
and then left them to it.
就是惹了祸然后躲起来
It was a case of light the blue touchpaper and retire.
拉尔夫认识的人很杂
Knowing Ralph, of course, it was a real mixed bag.
有几个是运动委员会的
Several there from the Sports Council
一支来自汤布里奇的像模像样的代表队
and quite a contingent from Tonbridge.
有些人是奇切斯特大教堂的公谊会教友
Some Friends of Chichester Cathedral
还有获释囚犯援助协会会员
and the Discharged Prisoners Aid Society.
玛琪和珀尔斯
Madge and Perce,
是我们度蜜月时在毛里塔尼亚号♥上结识的
whom we met on the Mauretania on our honeymoon.
唐纳德和乔伊斯·巴拿曼
Donald and Joyce Bannerman,
他们其实在去阿布扎比的路上
who were actually en route for Abu Dhabi,
然后唐纳德在希斯罗机场买♥♥了份报纸
then Donald bought a paper at Heathrow,
看见了讣告立马就来了
saw the announcement and came straight down.
有个贴心的老头
One sweet old man
从马盖特远道而来
who'd come all the way over from Margate.
他说 "你肯定不记得我了卡朋特夫人
He said, "You won't remember me, Mrs Carpenter,
但我是罪犯兄弟会的一员"
"but I'm a member of the criminal fraternity."
我尖叫起来
I shrieked!
就像牧师说的 "拉尔夫影响了很多生命"
As the vicar said, "Ralph touched life at many points."
孩子们的表现太好了至少贾尔斯的表现太好了
The children, magnificent, of course, or Giles at any rate.
幸好玛格丽特没露面
Luckily Margaret didn't appear.
但贾尔斯带着所有皇家旅的人
But Giles took off all the Household Brigade people
去花♥园♥参观了一圈
on a tour of the garden
皮帕去应付市里的大人物了
while Pippa coped with some of the bigwigs from the City.
"你应该不认识乔治"
"I don't think you know George,"
我好像听到一个人这样说
I think I heard one of them say.
"乔治在布朗的古迪逊说一不二"
"George cracks the whip at Goodison, Brown."
可怜人他们俩都应该得奖章
Poor souls, they both of them deserved medals.
还有克里斯平和露西好善良
And Crispin and Lucy, angelic.
克里斯平在人的腿中间穿梭
Crispin popping in and out of people's legs,
举起双手帮他们倒酒
reaching up to fill the glasses.
我劝他们休息一下
I wanted them to have a rest.
"不用" 贾尔斯说
"No," Said Giles,
"任他们做吧他们喜欢爷爷"
"Let them do it. They adored their grandpa."
"喜欢他" 皮帕说 "我们都喜欢"
"Adored him," Said Pippa, "Like we all did."
教堂里坐得满满当当
The church had been absolutely chocka
我忍♥住不哭一直到最后
and I'd managed not to blub until right at the finish
他们开始唱《我宣誓向祖国效忠》
when they struck up with I Vow To Thee, My Country.
我有好多该做的事所以我一点都没哭
And then I'd 101 things to do so I was perfectly all right...
直到我看见烦人的安吉拉·格莱斯皮
..Until I saw awful Angela Gillespie had made the mistake of
她就不该去找公♥司♥无聊的老弗兰克聊天
talking to boring old Frank from the firm
我听到了可怕的词"叉车"
and I heard the dreaded words "Forklift trucks"...
我想我以前经常会在这种场合
..And I thought, how many times I used to have to shut Ralph up
让拉尔夫闭嘴
in similar circumstances,
让拉尔夫闭嘴的想法一冒出来
and the idea of shutting Ralph up at all
我的眼泪一下就下来了
set me off instantly,
我不得不飞奔进储藏室止住眼泪
and I had to nip into the pantry to staunch the flow...
不久梅宝也进来了
..Shortly to be followed by Mabel,
她绊倒在他的一只旧雨靴上
who'd just fallen over one of his old wellingtons
立即大哭起来
and promptly gone into floods.
我们又哭又笑
So we had a good laugh and a good cry over that
然后整理了一下仪表
before powdering our noses
赶紧重新投身到那片混乱中
and hurling ourselves back into the fray.
等大家都散去
When everybody had gone,
我坐在椅子上休息一会儿
I'm just having five minutes in the chair
再处理各种琐事
before tackling the debris
玛格丽特冲进房♥间
when Margaret comes plunging into the room.
她说 "那些人都哪去了"
She said, "What were all those people?"
我说 "刚才那算是给爸爸开的派对"
I said, "It was a kind of party for Daddy."
她说 "怎么了他死了吗"
She said, "Why? Is he dead?"
我说 "你知道他死了"
I said, "You know he's dead."
她说 "谁杀了他"
She said, "Who killed him?"
我说 "别傻了
I said, "Don't be such a donkey.
来吧给你找片药吃"
"Come along and we'll find you a tablet."
拉尔夫的药还有一些在橱柜里
Some of Ralph's medicine's still in the cupboard.
"它们可是一点用都没有"
"Fat lot of good that did,"
我这样想着然后把它们倒进马桶
I thought, and poured it down the lav.
然后我觉得有点...哽得慌
Then felt a bit...choked.
药片起效了
Anyway, the tablet did the trick.
我听到她凌晨两点走来走去
I heard her walking around at two in the morning,
但我没起床
but I didn't get up.
不过我那时不得不起床
Except then I had to get up anyway
因为我突然意识到我一直处于亢奋状态
cos it suddenly came to me, in all the excitement,
把喂狗忘得一干二净
I'd completely forgotten to feed the dogs.
我遇到的每个人都说别做重大决定
Everybody I run into says not to take any big decisions.
我扛着拉尔夫的所有衣服
I staggered into the community centre
摇摇晃晃地走进社区中心
bearing Ralph's entire wardrobe,
安吉拉·格莱斯皮很快就跳进这堆衣服
which Angela Gillespie had nipped in smartish
为肌营养不良的人抢衣服
and earmarked for muscular dystrophy.
十分钟后布伦达·鲍斯菲尔德
Ten minutes later, Brenda Bousfield
代表囊性纤维化病人来敲门
comes knocking on the door on behalf of cystic fibrosis.
立马针尖对麦芒
Knives out straight away.
我不得不把她俩分开
Practically had to separate them.
其实最后我确实帮她俩分了
In fact, I did separate them in the end -
把西装给了安吉拉把粗花呢衣服给了布伦达
the City suits to Angela and Brenda, the tweeds.
都是很棒的衣服
All lovely stuff.
霍斯和柯蒂斯牌子的漂亮的晚礼服上衣
Beautiful dinner jacket from Hawes & Curtis,