像男人一样思考2

拉斯维加斯
Las Vegas.
一百年以来 大家纷纷来此 一尝禁果
For 100 years, people have flocked to get a taste of its forbidden fruit.
三十与四十年代 黑♥手♥党♥与赌博盛行
In the 1930s and '40s, it was the Mafia and gambling.
五十年代晚期
In the late '50s,
美国第一位上空舞娘 出现在沙丘赌场
America's first topless showgirls appeared at the Dunes Casino.
六十年代法朗克与鼠帮乐团 是这里的常客
And in the '60s, it was all about Frank and the Rat Pack.
但现在 该死 赌城成了大人的乐园
But today, damn! Vegas has become Disneyland for adults.
我告诉你 赌城发生的一切将会留在赌城
And let me tell you something. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
看 这座城市不分日夜
See, in this town, you don't know if it's day or night.
但是呢 你不在意 因为你在赌城
And guess what? You don't care, because you're in Vegas, baby!
从赌场到俱乐部 舞池到脱衣酒吧
From the casinos to the clubs, the pools and the strip bars,
这是男男女♥女♥放纵自己的好地方
it's the best place in the world for men and women to get their freak on.
好 小心点 是婚纱
Okay, just be careful because it's a wedding dress.
你担心什么 很美啊
Why are you stressing? It's beautiful.
除非 当然 他们如果早就是一对
Unless, of course, they go together as couples.
齐克
Zeke?
风流齐 是我马帝 记得吗
Zeke the Freak! It's me, Marty. Remember?
单人秀马帝 最近怎样
Marty the One Man Party! What up? What up, man?
老天 等我告诉路易 风流齐回来了
Oh, man, wait till I tell Luis the Freak is back in town!
我最疯狂的两晚 就是跟风流齐一起度过的
Two of my wildest nights ever was with Z to the F.
我能想像
I can only imagine.
亲爱的 别想了 我有录影存证
Oh, baby, you don't even got to imagine. We got this on video.
她才不想看
She don't wanna see that.
-她不是那种女人 -对
-She ain't about that life? -No.
好啊 这男人很强 迷倒很多女人
That's sweet. This man is a god. A legend with the ladies.
我们曾把他灌醉 去把他不要的女人
We used to get him drunk just to get his leftovers.
我很年轻 偶而来这里一次
I was young, I used to come by here once in a while.
听起来好像你常来
Sounds like you came here a lot.
你记得马可去年的疯狂派对吗
You remember Marco's big blow-out bash last year?
好几年前了
That was a few years ago.
-脱衣舞娘很不俗 -马帝 这是我女人 蜜雅
-Them strippers was off the chain. -Marty, this is my woman, Mya.
很高兴认识你
Nice to meet you.
不 等等
No! Wait!
你让他甘愿结婚
You took him down?
花♥花♥公♥子♥玩完啦
Lower the flag, baby! Retire the rubbers.
风流齐要结婚了
Zeke the Freak is getting married!
不 不 老天 不是吧
No! No, dude, God, no.
我们只是来参加朋友婚礼 蜜雅做的婚纱
We just here for a friend's wedding. Mya just made the dresses.
-设计 -设计的婚纱
-Designed. -Designed the dresses.
我只是提议而已 你若晚点可以出来
Well, I'm just saying, if you can get away later on,
路易正在妓♥女♥院续摊...
Luis is having an after-party at the Chicken Ranch...
我还没走呢
I'm right here!
-男人就是这样 宝贝 -晚点再告诉你
-Well, this how we do, baby! -Let me just get with you later.
好吧 看好你的女人
All right. Get your girl in check,
不然她会坏了我的好事
she gonna make me look bad out here in the street, man.
等我告诉路易风流齐回来了
Wait till I tell Luis the Freak is back in town!
我不认识他 真的
I don't know that dude, really.
只见过他一次 他是车夫兼理发师
I met him one time. He drives and cuts hair.
-才怪 -风流齐回来了 宝贝
-Hell, no. -Zeke the Freak is back in town, baby!
要我的意见吗
Now, my opinion?
再没有比一对情侣
The only thing worse than going to Vegas
一起到赌城旅游更糟的了
as a couple is going as man and wife.
宝贝 看到车了吗
Babe, you see the car?
看看这些妓♥女♥
Look at these hookers.
蒂许 她们不是妓♥女♥
Fish, honey, those are not hookers.
她们只是一群来赌城玩的女孩 没什么好看的
They're just girls having fun in Vegas. It's really not a big deal.
她们大概都没父亲
They probably got no dad in their life,
没自信 很可怜的
low self-esteem. It's very sad, actually.
对了 班奈特
By the way, Bennett,
那个带腰包的 真大喊"赌城周末"
that fanny-pack really screams "Vegas Weekend."
是啊 蒂许给我的
Yeah, Tish got it for me.
在这里把钱带在前面比较安全
It's safer to keep your money in the front in Vegas.
-还有 她给我分红 -想也知道
-Plus, she gave me a bonus. -Bet she did.
而且我随时可以拿到钱 它就在我面前
And I can get to the money if I need to. It's right in the front.
等不及要进房♥间
I can't wait to get to the room.
好
All right.
很好 入住手续后到男女分开活动前
Okay, good, there's gonna be like
我们有一小时
an hour between check-in and separation.
-干嘛 -我们要小孩 愈快愈好
-For what? -We're trying to have a baby, ASAP.
我等了九年才结婚 所以迫不及待了 懂吧
I waited nine years to get married, so we're, you know.
恭喜 我为你们高兴
Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!
-我祈祷你有男孩 -为什么
-I hope for your sake it's a boy. -Why?
你知道 有了儿子 你只需要担心他的鸡鸡
Well, you know, when you have a boy, you just worry about his wiener.
有了女儿 你需要担心所有冲着她来的鸡鸡
When you have a girl, you have to worry about all the wieners coming at her.
紧跟着她不放 你记得吧
Smacking her around. You remember how it is.
定时的性♥爱♥真是神奇浪漫
The romance and magic of scheduled sex.
-女孩不会一直等 -是 我了解
-Girl's not gonna wait forever. -Yeah, no, I get it.
她不想当"老"妈
She doesn't want to be the "old" mom.
我无法想像 老兄 你当爸爸
I can't believe it, man! You as a father.
我知道 是吧 我也无法想像
I know, right? I can't believe it either.
她像军队中士 很机械化
She's like a drill sergeant, on a schedule!
好像上了码表一样
It's like there's a shot clock,
随时准备好 就等我最后一发
constantly winding down to one, and I gotta hit the last shot.
上礼拜 我的老二差点扭到
Last week, I thought I sprained it.
最糟的是 我得放弃大♥麻♥
You know, the worst part about it is I had to stop smoking pot.
-不是吧 你 大♥麻♥ -是啊 我
-No! You? Pot. -Yeah. Me.
-就像跟老友别离 -为什么
-It's like saying goodbye to an old friend. -Why?
因为我一次只能跟一个 毒瘾上身的人打交道
Because I can only deal with one stoned child at a time, that's why.
-她听到了 -她什么都听到了
-She heard us. -She hears everything.
好在 有些情侣知道要怎么享受
Fortunately, some couples know exactly how to embrace
赌城的精神
the true spirit of Vegas.
好 很好
Okay, all right.
因为萝伦出差 他们十天没见
So they hadn't seen each other for 10 days because of Lauren's business trip.
你知道那句俗话
Now you know what they say.
小别胜新婚
Absence does make the heart and other organs grow fonder.
虽然赌城是著名的罪恶之城
Despite its reputation as Sin City,
赌城依旧是美国最受欢迎的观光首选
Vegas is still the number one destination in the country
情侣所能做的最疯狂的事 就是结婚 笨蛋
for couples to do the craziest thing of all, get married. Dummies.
最完美的婚礼
It is the perfect setting.
每样都很完美 你知道 就像...
Everything is perfect. You know, this kind of looks like...
古罗马 像《万夫莫敌》
Ancient Rome, like Spartacus.
不好意思 你何时看过《万夫莫敌》
Excuse me, when have you seen Spartacus?
在奶奶家 在她看《实习医生》看到睡着时
At Grandma's, when she falls asleep during Grey's Anatomy.
我看顾你时从没睡着过
I do not fall asleep when I'm babysitting you!
所以 康蒂丝 新娘会从这里进来
So, Candace, the bride will enter from here,
这里是...
and right there is where...
我们结婚的地方
We get married.
记得 你们要守时
So, remember, you must be here on time
这样婚礼才能准时闲始
so we can begin your ceremony promptly.
-我们接下来还有别的婚礼 -好
-We cannot hold up the next wedding party. -Yes.
太好了 你们的婚礼行程表刚到
Perfect timing! Your wedding programs just arrived.
好的
I've got that.
你妈真好 花了那么多钱在精美的纸
It was so sweet of your mom to splurge on French linen paper.
康蒂丝 你是她唯一的女儿
Candace, you are the only daughter she's ever gonna have.
我觉得这个婚礼的筹划 对她来说很有治疗效果
And I think this whole process has really been healing for her.
尤其是狄肯强生过世后
Especially after the passing of Deacon Johnson.
温妮阿姨说 他纵欲过度死在床上
Aunt Winnie said he died in bed with Miss Loretta.
起码他死得快活
But at least he had a happy ending.
有道理
There you go.
谢谢
Thank you.
-什么 -什么
-What? -What?
"麦可与康蒂丝"
"Michael and Tandis"?
真的
Seriously?
不 不 不
No,no,no!
宝贝 印刷厂的大概听错了
Oh, baby. They probably misheard her.
这周末别露出妈宝的样子
Do not have a mama's boy relapse on our wedding weekend.
不会 宝贝 我会给你一个完美的婚礼
No. Baby, I'm gonna give you the perfect wedding. All right?
不会有差错
Nothing's gonna go wrong.
我像个正常人一样来到赌城
I arrived the only way a sane person should for a weekend in Vegas.
意思是一个人来
I'm talking about solo, people!