时间是一个有趣的东西。
Time is a funny thing.
-我小时候…——一岁。
- When I was a kid... - One.
-...日子一去不复返。两岁。
-...the days lasted forever. -Two.
躲!3岁。
-Hide, hide, hide! -Three.
-但是这些年…——等等!在这里。
- But the years... - Wait! Over here.
-...他们走得太快了-四岁。
-...well, they went by so fast. -Four.
五岁。六岁。蒂姆,不许偷看。
-Five. Six. -Tim, no peeking.
是的,没有偷看。
Yeah, no peeking.
-在你知道之前…- 7岁。
- Before you know it... - Seven.
-...你们都长大了。八岁。
-...you're all grown-up. -Eight.
-这甚至发生在我身上。九岁。
-It even happened to me. -Nine.
九岁半。十岁!
Nine and a half. Ten!
准备好了没有,我来了。
Ready or not, here I come.
我叫蒂姆,这个…这是我剩下的故事。
My name's Tim, and this... well, this is the rest of my story.
——逃命去吧!
--Run for your lives!
爸爸,不公平。你偷偷看了。
No fair, Dad. You peeked.
-他们叫我全职爸爸,意思是…-我们走!
-They call me a stay-at-home dad, which means...-Let's go!
...我几乎不能呆在家里。
...I hardly get to stay at home.
系好安全带,邓普顿。
Buckle up, Templetons.
准备好了吗?
Ready?
好了。——走!
-Set. -Go!
现在,有些人可能会说我的想象力仍然过于丰富,但当一个父亲是世界上最酷的工作。
Now, some might say I still have an overactive imagination, but being a dad is the coolest job in the world.
一堆很酷的工作,真的。
Bunch of cool jobs, really.
有时我是一个赛车手。
Sometimes I'm a race car driver.
哇!手情圣安德列蒂合影!
Whoo! Daddy-o Andretti!
耶,邓普顿!
Yay, Templetons!
有时候我是全县最棒的厨师每顿饭都是我做的。
Well, and then sometimes I'm the best darn cook in the county and I deal out every meal.
-来吧,爸,打我
- Come on, Pa, hit me.
——蒂娜。
- Tina.
呼,小狗!然后,众议院又赢了。
Whew, doggie! And the house wins again.
——耶!啊!
- Yay! Woo-hoo!
或者是外科医生,如果需要的话。
Or a surgeon, if need be.
叉勺。叉勺。
-Spork. -Spork.
抹刀。抹刀。
-Spatula. -Spatula.
给我的生灵以生命吧!
Give my creature life!
她还活着!
She's alive!
我们有好有坏。
We have our ups, and we have our downs.
——不,不,不。看。看。
--No, no, no. Look. Look.
小羊没事。看到了吗?耶!
-Lamb Lamb's okay. See? -Yay!
但我们总是团结在一起。
But we always stick together.
我的妻子,卡罗。——它是一个奇迹!
-My wife, Carol. -It's a miracle!
她是家里的经济支柱。
She's the breadwinner of the family.
——谢谢。-你知道人们常说:
--Thank you. - You know what they say:
-“都是为了钱。”
- "It's all about the dough."
没有我的丈夫,我不可能做到。
And I couldn't have done it without my husband.
他确实能应付自如。
He really rose to the occasion.
-我可以做酵母。——是的,妈妈!
- It's the yeast I can do. --Yeah, Mama!
她也挣钱养家,而我则照看我们的新宝宝蒂娜。
She brings home the bacon, too, while I keep an eye on our new baby, Tina.
但有时候,感觉她在盯着我。
But sometimes, feels like she's keeping an eye on me.
——塔比瑟……-谢谢!
-And Tabitha... -Thank you!
...我们的二年级学生刚被镇上最好的学校录取了。
...our little second-grader who just got accepted - into the best school in town.
耶,塔比瑟!
Yay, Tabitha!
我们感到骄傲。
We're so proud.
我还和那帮老家伙保持联♥系♥。
I still keep in touch with the old gang, too.
信不信由你,金博现在是市长了。
Believe it or not, Jimbo is mayor now.
——饼干!-当然了,他的妻子斯塔西才是这次行动的幕后主使。
- Cookie! - Of course, his wife, Staci, is the real brains behind the operation.
哟,吉米!-三胞胎…- *了……* - *了……*
- Yo, Jimbo! - Now, the Triplets... -* Busted... * -* Busted... *
- *了。*
- * Busted. *
是啊,它们变化不大。
Yeah, they haven't changed much.
至于我的小♥弟♥弟♥,泰德,他长大后成了老板。
And as for my baby brother, Ted, well, he grew up to be the boss, all right.
-他太忙了,我们几乎见不到他了。但是,嘿,他总是记得在特殊的场合送不合适的贵重礼物。
- He's so busy we hardly see him anymore. - --But, hey, he always remembers to send inappropriately lavish gifts - on special occasions.
——OMG !泰德叔叔是最好的!
- OMG! Uncle Ted is the best!
总之,我的生活很完美。
All in all, my life is pretty perfect.
但这一切即将改变。
But all that was about to change.
天啊。
Good heavens.
我要救你!
I'll save you!
——哈!
- Ha!
谢谢你,宝贝。
Thanks, babe.
保持冷静,塔比瑟。
Stay calm, Tabitha.
我来找你了。
I'm coming for you.
我要把你从冒泡的熔岩中救出来!
I'm gonna save you from the bubbling lava!
爸爸,你在干什么?
Dad, what are you doing?
电子战,恶心。它无处不在。
Ew, gross. It went everywhere.
拜托,这是末日糖果火山!
Come on, this is the candy volcano of doom!
你以前很喜欢的。
You used to love it.
但我在努力做作业,否则我就完了。
But I'm trying to do my homework, or I'm doomed.
哦。
Oh.
因为如果说我学到了什么,那就是你只有一次童年。
Because if there's one thing I've learned, you're only a kid once.
一旦你长大了,就再也回不去了。
Once you grow up, you can never go back.
Ee…!
Ee...!
哦,不。
Oh, no.
晚安霍金博士
Good night, Dr. Hawking.
碳,硼,铍,锂,氦,氢
Carbon, boron, beryllium, lithium, helium, hydrogen.
我搞定了。
Nailed it.
砰,沙卡拉卡。
Boom shakalaka.
“四。”天啊。
"Carry the four." Gosh.
-你好啊,塔比瑟。
- Hey there, Tabitha.
这是《晚安秀》。
It's The Good Night Show.
在卧室里直播,由爸爸和妈妈主演。
Live from your bedroom, starring Dad and Mom.
-还有特别嘉宾,宝贝蒂娜
- And special guest, baby Tina.
晚安,小蒂娜。Mwah !
Good night, little Tina. Mwah!
你给我回来。
Come back here, you.
-晚上好,妈妈。-Mwah !
-Good night, Mom. -Mwah!
晚安,甜心。妈妈会亲你的。
Good night, sweetheart. Mama's gonna kiss you.
-妈妈会亲你的。
- Mama gonna kiss you.
晚安歌♥
* Good night song *
-*和你♥爸♥爸…* - ?
-* With your dad... * -What?
什么?该唱晚安歌♥了。
What? It's time for your good-night song.
哦,不,谢谢。
Oh, no, thanks.
我在听白噪音!
I'm listening to white noise!
帮助我入睡!
Helps me fall asleep!
你觉得让我帮你排练节日庆典怎么样?
Hey, what would you say to me helping you rehearse for the holiday pageant?
——是的!对吧?
--Yes! Right?
我可以和你一起去学校,你可以把你所有的朋友聚在一起,我们可以一起排练,之后去吃冰淇淋。
I can come to school with you, and you can get all your friends together, and we can rehearse together, go get some ice cream after.
-治疗。-不!你不能这么做。
-My treat. -No! You can't do that.
嗯,责任问题。
Um, liability issues.
是这整件事。
It's this whole thing.
哦。对,对。
Oh. Right, right.
对。
Right.
哇。你最喜欢的睡前故事是什么?
Whoa. How about your favorite bedtime story?
你知道的,关于…泰德叔叔是个会说话的神奇婴儿。
You know, the one about... Uncle Ted was a magical talking baby.
有个装满小狗的火箭-你拯救了世界。
There was a rocket full of puppies, - and you saved the world.
这是个好故事,不是吗?
It was a good story, wasn't it?
嗯,这也说不通啊。
Well, it didn't really make a lot of sense.
笑话不错,对吧?
The jokes were good, right?
恩。
Mm.
-好的。嗯…-爸爸。
-Okay. Um... -Dad.
我明天的日程安排得很紧。
My schedule is brutal tomorrow.
是的。我的日程安排也很紧。
Yeah. My schedule's pretty brutal, too.
哦,别忘了小羊羔。
Oh, don't forget Lamb Lamb.
晚安,小羊羔。
Good night, Lamb Lamb.
晚安,泰德叔叔。
Good night, Uncle Ted.
我希望长大后能像你一样成功。
I hope to grow up and be a success, just like you.
也许我们很快就能见到你。
Maybe we'll see you soon.
晚安,大♥比♥大。
Good night, Tabitha.
你不觉得我现在太老了吗?
Don't you think I'm a little old for that now?
呃,好吧。
Uh, okay.
我觉得我们都该长大了。
I think it's time we both grow up.
我期待着在早餐桌上和你打招呼。
I look forward to greeting you at the breakfast table.
甜蜜的梦想。
Sweet dreams.
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